Start Living Now

Words cannot describe how good it felt waking up every morning knowing that I belonged to something once again, knowing that I had a true purpose in my life. Even though the very real threat that my past would come back to haunt me was an ever-present thought in the back of my mind, I was genuinely happy. I was surprised that Niko or any other members of his pack hadn’t wandered around Quileute territory; it wasn’t like they didn’t know another pack existed in the Olympic Peninsula- when I was the Alpha of the Quinault pack one of the first assignments I had ordered was to see if any other Shapeshifters existed in the area. It was Yuma and Xavier who discovered the Quileute pack, though I made it clear that no contact was to be made with them; things would be better for all of us if the two tribes didn’t mingle with one another in my opinion, some things were just meant to be kept secret. If the tribes had known of each other Niko would have definitely informed Sam of a rogue Shapeshifter. In retrospect that may have been the key factor that saved me in my escape from Janae’s coup.

It was one thing to be a guest of the Quileute pack, but actually being a member of the pack was completely different. Now I had the right to become one with the group, to share each other’s thoughts. I now knew everyone on a deeper, personal level, and vice versa. Since we had enough members of the pack, Sam, Jacob and I unanimously decided it would be good to divide into smaller units while still remaining one connected pack. That way, should something happen, whether it be an emergency or –Ancestors forbid- another attack by nomad vampires, we could cover more ground and effectively protect the tribe’s territory. Sam, Paul, Brady and Collin became the first unit (Sam willingly chose to be in charge of the youngest-and in Paul’s case, quick-tempered- members of the pack, claiming he had more patience than me or Jacob. Bless him.) Jacob, Embry, Quil and Jared became the second, while myself, Leah and Seth became the smallest unit. Needless to say, scouting became so much easier, since everyone could check in with their respective Alphas, who would then pass any information onto the other Two, and so on. We became more efficient, and in my opinion, had the potential to be a serious threat to any who opposed us.

If sharing minds with the pack meant knowing each other more personally, it was tenfold with Jacob. Since both of us were true Alphas –born with the birthright—and had at one point separated from our original packs, we had the right to purposefully close our minds off from the rest of the Quileute pack, as well from each other and Sam. At night we would go out for a run and close our minds off to everyone but each other. After a time we discovered that the two of us truly became one during those quiet times; neither of us spoke unless we had to, our thoughts were open, pure, and flowed in and out of our respective minds so fluidly that sharing minds became as easy as breathing. I have never been so close to a person before. It was terrifying and invigorating at the same time.

The start of my new life couldn’t have been any better.

That Saturday I made a huge breakfast for Jacob and Billy. The two were still sleeping, Billy’s loud snores echoing down the hallway. A giant mound of chocolate chip pancakes, toast, plenty of orange juice, and a plate of sizzling bacon still wasn’t enough to wake the two Black men from their slumber. It amazes me how late people can sleep in sometimes. I left a note on the table telling them where I would be and made my way out the door.

Leah and Seth were waiting for me by the woods, Leah leaning against a tree while Seth could be heard climbing about.

“You’re late,” said Leah.

“Actually, I’m five minutes early,” I replied after glancing at my watch. “How long have you two been waiting?”

Seth jumped off his branch with a grin. “Not long, Leah’s just showing off because she’s actually early for something.”

Leah was about to retort with something sarcastic but I cut her off by Shifting into my Wolf Form. The two immediately followed suit and I headed towards the Cullen’s home. We three had adjusted and had gotten pretty good at sharing minds, both as a small team and along with the rest of the pack. It was definitely a balancing act, between the always bright and cheerful Seth, protective and cynical Leah, and the recovering (both emotionally and physically) mind that was mine. It took a lot of work, but now we could easily flow in and out of each other’s minds. I knew Sam and Jacob were practicing this with their squads as well; it was a practice in discipline and restraint, controlling your thoughts so there was room for privacy between oneself and the rest of the pack.

When Seth realized where we were going puzzled thoughts ran through his mind, sending me a silent question.

“Nothing to worry about, I’ve arranged a sparring session with Jasper and Emmett this morning before we get to the really good stuff,” I answered.

“Good stuff?” asked Leah.

“Well, if you’re still serious about being able to have kids one day, today would be the best to start; we have a while until the next full moon. Besides, I think it’s a good idea to involve Seth, not only because he’s your brother, but because it’s good to have at least three Shapeshifters who have the ability to Shift into more than one Form in a pack this large, but I’ll get into that later.”

Leah’s mind became a flurry of thoughts before she quickly sealed them behind a giant crystal wall, making the images of her mind look fuzzy and unreadable. Seth, on the other hand, just kept his excited thoughts as quiet as he could; the thought of having more than one Form was mind-blowing for him. I had personally been working with Leah on controlling her emotions for the past two weeks alongside coaching Leah and her brother on restraint. After many frustrated nights Leah was finally able to conceal her emotions, which usually dictated what she was thinking of. I initially came up with the idea that the pack should learn how to control their minds because of the whole Leah-Sam-Emily history, something Leah wasn’t completely over with yet. Out of the Quinault pack, only Yuma and I had mastered this technique, the others hadn’t even heard of what we were doing; our pack became divided before I could start teaching the others.

When we got to the borderline of Cullen territory, the three of us quietly Shifted into our original Forms and put on some comfortable workout clothes. Emmett was there to greet us. He escorted us to the backyard, running alongside Seth in an on-again-off-again race. Jasper was sitting against the trunk of a tree, reading The Art of War for what must have been the tenth time since I met him. I noticed he had recently cut his hair; it was no longer a curly mess, but shorter and more tame. Both his and Emmett’s eyes were golden-colored today, meaning they must have fed before we came; their eyes were blood-red yesterday when Jacob and I stopped by on out evening run.

“Jael,” Jasper acknowledged with a nod of his head, to which I returned.

“Thanks for agreeing to do this,” I said to Jasper and Emmett. “I wanted to get some advanced techniques in today- really tire them out. I want them to get rid of any and all negative energy they have built up, and you two were the only ones who volunteered to take a beating.”

“Not a problem,” said Emmet. “It’s not often that we get to spar with another kind of supernatural being.” He looked at Leah and Seth. “Don’t go easy on us because we won’t be going easy on you.”

Leah rolled her eyes. “Oh, please. Cut the crap and let’s get started; I’ve been meaning to hit the punching bag lately, this is ten times better.”

Emmett laughed. “I like her attitude.”

Both groups of siblings faced each other, sizing up their respective opponents. Jasper would be facing Seth, Leah against Emmett. I stepped in between them before they started, speaking more to my squad than the vampire brothers.

“Don’t just push each other around. Go over tactics, set up a strategy. Wolves work as a team when they hunt, it should be no different for us when against an enemy.”

Seth groaned. “More homework?! I get enough of it at school!”

I rolled my eyes. “It’s worth all the effort and work you put into it, Seth. It’s bitter work, I know,
but essential. A Shapeshifter who can’t control himself or his abilities is just as dangerous as a kid who thinks he knows kung fu; sooner or later it ends badly. Should something happen and the pack is attacked, I’d rather have peace of mind knowing that you two can take care of yourselves.”

“Yeah, but we did just fine when that army of vampires attacked us a few years ago…” Leah
muttered.

“You think it’s just vampires out there that can harm us?” I said rather sternly. “We have no idea what’s out there, all the more reason to be aware of our strengths and weaknesses, and work on what we need to improve. The less chance of one of you ending up like this-” I said, gesturing to my scarred shoulder, “- the better. The scares are always there, no matter how fast you heal. That’s why it’s important to work as one body, a team.”

“Sorry, Jael. I didn’t mean to offend you or anything.”

“I’m not offended. But you should take this a little more seriously. I had too much pride once. Look where that got me. It’s better to be humble and aware than arrogant and foolhardy.” I started walking towards the house. “Just get started, I’ll be back in a few minutes; I need to speak with Carlisle.”

“You’re due for a check-up anyway,” yelled Emmett.

Fifteen minutes later I was sitting on the make-shift hospital bed in Carlisle’s home office, staring back at him as he shined a light in my left eye.

“Well, everything looks good so far. You pelvic and tail bones seem a little sensitive still, which may be the explanation as to why you haven’t been able to change into your other Form. Do you still try to?

I nodded. “Every day, with no luck so far.”

“All in time, Jael, all in time. I still recommend taking it easy; don’t Shift more than twice a day. Still doing your stretches?”

“Absolutely.”

“Good,” said Carlisle as he pressed his hands against random points on my back. “Does this hurt?” When I shook my head he continued. “You’re regaining muscle and nerve activity here-” he said, pressing slightly on my lower back by my right kidney. “That’s a good sign.”

“Awesome. So Carlisle, um, I wanted to talk to you about something…well, something personal.”

Softly chuckling, Carlisle made his way over to the pantry in which he kept all his medicinal remedies. He came back with a white paper bag and handed it to me. Looking inside I noticed a pamphlet with instructions and three sets of pill containers. The label read Sprintec.

“Carlisle, isn’t this-”

“Birth control, yes. It’s a three-month supply. Follow the instructions; if you’re going to engage in sexual activity before you’ve been taking the prescription for more than a month, it’s imperative you still use protection. If you want, I can handle testing for any transmitted diseases between you and Jacob as well.”

I shook my head, trying to recover from blushing. “I don’t think that’ll be necessary just yet. This is just a precautionary measure.”

“Ah, I understand.” Carlisle laughed. “You’re a very intelligent young woman, Jael. I’m sure you can handle everything, but in your current physical state I still would suggest-”

“That I refrain from intercourse, I know. But better safe than sorry, right?”

“Exactly. Still, if the event occurs...take it easy,” he said. “Do you mind Shifting? I would like you examine you in your other Form, we should be monitoring the healing process in that state as well.”

I stepped behind the folding screen next to the bed, removing my clothes. “If you don’t mind me asking such a personal question- how is it so easy for you to talk with me about these things, given that you’re Renesmee’s grandfather?”

Carlisle sighed. “Personally, I’m fine with you and Jacob pursuing a relationship with one another because in my personal opinion, I believe you and Jacob are better suited for one another than he and my granddaughter. Not just because you have similar backgrounds, but because you two genuinely care for each other, something I doubt Renesmee has felt for Jacob in quite some time. She has treated him like a plaything for so long now, and I truly think he deserves some happiness in his life, especially after all that he has done for this family.”

I nodded my head, more speechless than anything. Carlisle had never been so blunt about things before with me. I didn’t know what to make of it. “Thanks for your…blessing, I guess?” I Shifted into my Wolf Form and stepped out- more like smacked down- the curtain.

Carlisle laughed a large, booming laugh. “Jael, you have been the breath of fresh air this community of supernatural beings has needed.” He started testing my reflexes, hitting my knees with a small rubber hammer. “Your coat has changed color,” he noted.

Carlisle was right. Before my coat had been a rich grey-white color, now it had become a mixture of brown and cream colors. As I looked at myself in the mirror I noticed that most of my face was covered in brown, while my legs and underside was a light cream color. Carlisle stated that the change suited me and I rolled my eyes in mock embarrassment. He checked my heartbeat. When he finished, he paused to look out the window, down at the two groups of sparring siblings.

“Everything looks good,” he said. “Keep up with your stretches and things should be fine. You’re a great leader, Jael, I want you to know that.” He turned to me. “I’ve noticed you seem hesitant at times, especially at leading a pack again. What happened to you, no one deserves that. You have the chance at a new life here, and you’ve done well so far. Don’t let your fears control your actions; you have more than just one family here after all.”

I followed him to the window. Leah was doing well against Emmett, and Seth had improved in dodging and attacking at a new angle. What Carlisle had said really got to me. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t leave these people- the pack, the Cullens. They had become a part of me, just like I had become a part of them. I sighed, fogging up the window. Carlisle said I was free to go and I slowly made my way down the stair, careful not to break anything.

When I reached the others outside they stopped sparring. Leah and Seth’s thoughts attacked my mind, while Emmett and Jasper verbally asked if I was okay. I showed Leah and Seth most of my check-up with Carlisle, and nodded at Emmett and Jasper that I was fine. Rosalie had joined the group, clinging to Emmett the way a baby koala holds onto her mother’s back. I said a brief hello, and told my fellow pack members it was time to go. We excused ourselves and made our way back into the woods. As we left I couldn’t help but laugh at Rosalie’s comment, which she made sure we could here. “Good riddance. This place has become a house of wolves, I swear.”

I led Leah and Seth to the highest cliff on the reservation, not too far from Second Beach, where we made another sweat lodge. I had to explain to them that purification was the first step in any ritual, no matter what; Leah had complained that building another lodge was idiotic since we had just done a purification ritual the day I joined the pack.

“It’s meant to help clear the mind, so that it’s easier to hear our Ancestors, should they speak to us,” I explained. And for this particular rite, learning another Form, it was imperative that each of us receive their blessing. This wasn’t a ritual in the sense of needing specific herbs and performing certain dances, I told them, but more of meditating until you felt at one with nature, so that it spoke to you. The process could take hours, maybe days even. If we didn’t receive a blessing from the Ancestors, we couldn’t go through with the ritual; even for supernatural beings, there are just some lines you don’t cross.

“Yes, but you already have two Forms. Three sounds a little dangerous, doesn’t it?" asked Seth, his body soaked in sweat.

I shook my head. “I’ve been trying for months now, and nothing’s happened. I doubt I’ll be able to Shift into that Form again. It’s better that I just learn a new one.”

“Maybe you’ll Shift again when something traumatizing or emotional happens,” Leah pointed out. She sighed at our puzzled looks and continued. “I mean, you first Shifted when you and Jake got into that fight, remember? You were really upset. Maybe something like that has to happen again before you can Shift into your second Form again, balance it out or whatever.”

What Leah said made sense to me. But if I had to fight somebody- really fight them- then that wasn’t the means I wanted to be able to Shift again. It wasn’t worth it. I had little time to mull it over, however. There was a loud BOOM and the sweat lodge was ripped apart, tossing us into the open air. The siblings were genuinely freaked out, but I had been waiting for something like this to happen.

“Were we just hit by lighting?!”

“The lodge just burst into flames!”

“What the hell is going on?!”

I had been ignoring their panicked voices, looking around for a sign near where we were sitting. My hands should have been burned by the flames, but they tickled and rejuvenated me instead. This was divine fire. I found it in the rubble of the sweat lodge. I picked it up, showing Leah and Seth the small wooden carving of a howling wolf.

“What is that?” asked Seth, his voice a little fearful.

“That is our blessing,” I said with a smile. “The Ancestors deem us worthy of learning another Form. Now the real work begins.”