Let's Get Reckless.

So here I was, on Waikiki beach, jet lag kicking my butt. The greeting dinner was being held here on the beach and I was dozing off until my phone alarm told me it was time to find my seat at the elongated table.

“Ohh, Jamie! Love the suit! Exotic.” Hugo Dantez winked. Totally gay from head to toe but a great actor. After speaking with him for a few minutes, I found out he will be playing my Uncle, Tony, in the movie. Unfortunately, my love interest hadn’t showed his face yet, and the director had directed everyone not to tell me. Jackass. I was really anticipating seeing this guy. He became my very own dream guy in my eyes. It felt like I already knew him and loved him as my own. Now the suspense was killing me.

“Could we all go to the center table to eat! Its time to celebrate!” Robert, our director, announced. I eagerly sat in my seat at the side of Rob not paying attention to anything but the seat across from me. The spot where my co-star, my ideal boyfriend was supposed to sit. After everyone sat, the seat remained empty which instantly made me nervous. Where was he? I looked down into my lap and tugged on a strand of my hair nervously. The whole table conversed in chatter while I bounced my leg up, anticipating my love interest. He had to show tonight. Fast.

“Oh! Isn’t it nice for our male lead to join us. You’re late dude.” Robert scolded someone. Someone he referred to as the male lead. My head immediately shot up and towards the beaded entrance of the little luau cabana thing we were in. That’s when my mouth popped open and my hopes and dreams of my ideal guy when straight down the drain. It made me almost want to cry in hysterics. My luck! My damn luck!

“Sorry, Rob. That crazy girl was supposed to be showing me here and tried to take me off the island.” He smiled. He looked different. It was his hair, it was like Adrian Grenier, which was incredibly hot.

His eyes scanned the room and, like fate, landed on mine. His face fell like a scene from a movie where they find some long lost lover. Shocked, remembering past events between the other person. Just fabulous.

“Your seat is right across from Jamie Madden, your love interest. Isn’t that great!? Of course it is! Look at your face. Your shocked beyond belief. I believe I say thank you right now.” Robert babbled and pushed Joe into the seat. He was still staring at me and unfortunately it was very uncomfortable. The kind of look you get from a previous boyfriend who still loves you. Awwkkkwwaaarrdd.

Awkward is pretty much how you describe my evening. The whole time I felt Joe send glances my way and I refused to look up from my plate to acknowledged them. When available, I engrossed in conversation with Melanie Statz, another co-star who I couldn’t stand already. I immediately despised him for making me act out of my controlled element. Dodging like a runaway. Pfftt. When I thought I was free to leave, Rob kept me and Joe later.

“Okay you two, you’re gonna be lovers in this movie. So you’ll be hanging around each other a lot to get to know each other. Your rooms are adjoined for convenience and bonding purposes. Now Hawaii is a beautiful place and I’m sure you’ll be able to find a lot of activities for the two of you. Have fun kids.” He patted our backs and walked out. After an 8th of a second of thought, I quickly hopped out of my seat and dodged Joe’s hand which tried to reach out and grab my arm.

“Jamie..” He sighed as I left. The way he sounded made me feel really horrible, like I wanted to cry. Why did I feel so crappy? I shouldn’t- did I really- God. I didn’t even have complete thoughts.

I could’ve sworn I didn’t have a connecting door in my room. But sure enough , when I checked the wall, it was there. Jetlag made me blind. I took a deep breath and put my ear to the door, trying to see if Joe got in yet. Nothing. I cracked the door to peek. Nope, wasn’t in yet. I closed the door back and grabbed some things for a shower. Maybe a nice hot one would help ease my stress.

I wonder what Joe thought of me. Sure, I’ve known myself to be crude to people even though no one admits it, but what was I in his mind. A bitch? A coward? Oh that was one thing I wasn’t. I was a leader to millions of kids and teens. A rolemodel and celebrity crush. Heck, I was named best style teen. Now that’s a record. And let’s not forget my show stands at number 3 in the charts(not for much longer though).

I shut off the water, lotioned up, braided my hair, and pulled on the pajamas Miley packed for me before climbing in the bed. At first, I thought I was imagining the knocking sound that reoccurred about twice before I realized the what was going on. Someone was at the door. But I was so tttiiiirrreeddd. Being on a plane for 5 hours wasn’t exactly my cup of tea. So to show how exceptionally sleepy I was, I closed my eyes and stumbled around for the noise. The cold door touched my hand and I turned the handle and opened the door, eyes still closed.

“Sorry to wake you,” Joe whispered. Once again, I wanted to cry. Stupid Jamie, why wouldn’t you check what door?! God!

I didn’t answer. I opened my eyes and stared at him. His brown eyes looked troubled and tired. He rubbed the back of his neck.

“Rob told me that we have a surprise activity to get situated. We need to be outside by 7:15. Thought I’d let you know.” He mumbled.

I nodded and we just… sort of stood there.

“Jamie can’t you-“ He began but I was already shaking my head and closing the door. As long as I could, I would avoid that talk. Because truthfully, it was something I couldn’t survive without breaking. Breaking is something Jamie Madden just didn’t do.