Chemistry of a Car Crash
All We Were And Never Could Be
She turned around and looked at Alex with a serious face, “What happened to the guy I used to know?”
She got free of his grip and ran to her basement. He trailed behind her, flipping on the light switch when he reached the bottom step. He looked around and saw the finished basement he recognized, that was now covered in thousands of pictures big and small. He looked closer and saw that they were of his band. They were the earlier years. The first years. The best years.
Pictures of their first live show were scattered on the walls. Memories of the high school years were up there too. The one that caught his attention was the huge picture of their first tour they took during the summer of their junior year. Maddie, Rian, Jack, Zack, and him were all piled onto the side of their shitty beat up white van and looked so happy and proud of themselves.
He found Maddie laying in the middle of a huge empty space in the corner of her basement. Her eyes were closed and she was whispering something to herself. He kept his distance.
“Maddie?” He whispered.
“Go away,” She muttered.
“Why?”
“You’ve changed so much,” She said turning her head towards him, “And not for the better.”
He looked at her confused.
“We come from two different worlds now Alex. You have your high class one, and I’ve got the one that I’m still stuck living. The one where you guys were practicing in my basement and me and Flyzik were sitting on the couch making jokes about you the whole time,” She wiped away a tear from her eyes, “I keep wishing you’d come back, but now that you’re here, I want you to go back to your world and stay out of mine. I liked it better when you were my best friend.”
“This world used to be your life,” She said looking back up at the ceiling, “But now all you want to do is see how many girls you cans screw while you’re in town.”
He opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out.
He wanted what he had before. Before he came down to her basement, he had forgotten what had happened to get him to where he was today. His body may have still been on the ground, but his head was way up in the clouds.
He closed his eyes and let out a deep breath.
The life he was living right now wasn’t where he wanted to be anymore. He didn’t want the fan girls screaming that they loved him; he wanted that one girl telling him she loved him. He didn’t want to pick the sluttiest girl from the crowd and screw her anymore; he wanted a date with his girlfriend and he wasn’t going to get drunk in the back lounge of the bus anymore either.
He opened his eyes and looked down at Maddie. This was his world. His best friend was on anti-depressants and letting the scars on her arms heal. He’d walk down into her basement and be tackled by Jack into Rian’s drum set. He’d watch Flyzik and Maddie laughing on the couch, knowing that they were making fun of them. He’d make stupid ‘your mom’ or ‘that’s what she said’ jokes with Zack and Jack.
Even though that was in the past, he knew how to get back there, but it was going to take some work. A lot of work.
It was time to start back at square one.
“Maddie?” He spoke.
She turned her head with her red, puffy eyes, “What?”
“I love you.”
She got free of his grip and ran to her basement. He trailed behind her, flipping on the light switch when he reached the bottom step. He looked around and saw the finished basement he recognized, that was now covered in thousands of pictures big and small. He looked closer and saw that they were of his band. They were the earlier years. The first years. The best years.
Pictures of their first live show were scattered on the walls. Memories of the high school years were up there too. The one that caught his attention was the huge picture of their first tour they took during the summer of their junior year. Maddie, Rian, Jack, Zack, and him were all piled onto the side of their shitty beat up white van and looked so happy and proud of themselves.
He found Maddie laying in the middle of a huge empty space in the corner of her basement. Her eyes were closed and she was whispering something to herself. He kept his distance.
“Maddie?” He whispered.
“Go away,” She muttered.
“Why?”
“You’ve changed so much,” She said turning her head towards him, “And not for the better.”
He looked at her confused.
“We come from two different worlds now Alex. You have your high class one, and I’ve got the one that I’m still stuck living. The one where you guys were practicing in my basement and me and Flyzik were sitting on the couch making jokes about you the whole time,” She wiped away a tear from her eyes, “I keep wishing you’d come back, but now that you’re here, I want you to go back to your world and stay out of mine. I liked it better when you were my best friend.”
“This world used to be your life,” She said looking back up at the ceiling, “But now all you want to do is see how many girls you cans screw while you’re in town.”
He opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out.
He wanted what he had before. Before he came down to her basement, he had forgotten what had happened to get him to where he was today. His body may have still been on the ground, but his head was way up in the clouds.
He closed his eyes and let out a deep breath.
The life he was living right now wasn’t where he wanted to be anymore. He didn’t want the fan girls screaming that they loved him; he wanted that one girl telling him she loved him. He didn’t want to pick the sluttiest girl from the crowd and screw her anymore; he wanted a date with his girlfriend and he wasn’t going to get drunk in the back lounge of the bus anymore either.
He opened his eyes and looked down at Maddie. This was his world. His best friend was on anti-depressants and letting the scars on her arms heal. He’d walk down into her basement and be tackled by Jack into Rian’s drum set. He’d watch Flyzik and Maddie laughing on the couch, knowing that they were making fun of them. He’d make stupid ‘your mom’ or ‘that’s what she said’ jokes with Zack and Jack.
Even though that was in the past, he knew how to get back there, but it was going to take some work. A lot of work.
It was time to start back at square one.
“Maddie?” He spoke.
She turned her head with her red, puffy eyes, “What?”
“I love you.”