Loud

“Goodnight,” she says walking towards the living room door. “I love you.”

Lies! She never loved you.

“Yeah, whatever, night.” I mumble from my place on the sofa.

She stops at the door and turns back to face me. “Whats wrong baby?”

Like she cares. She doesn’t care about you, she never has.

“loud” I whisper before saying “N-Nothing, just go to bed.”

She walks back across the room to me. She looks worried. “Are you okay baby?”

She doesn’t care!! To her your only something to fix!

“SHUT UP!” I scream as I fall onto the floor.

“The voices?” It’s a statement more than a questions.

“Y-yes, loud.” I’m crying now. “So loud.”

She wraps her arms round me, holding me tight.

Your just her charity case.

“Its okay baby, they aren’t real.”
She keeps saying that and rocking me back and forward to calm me.

“They are!”

“No baby, they aren’t.” Her voice is calm, shes always calm.

I am real. Don’t let that bitch or anyone else say otherwise!

“Loud!”

“Shhh baby, its fine. Your okay.”
Her arms are still wrapped round me. But she isnt holding me so tight as before.

I told you she doesn’t love you.

I reach out my hand. Searching for her.

“Im right here.” she says taking my hand and squeezing it. “Right here.”

“D-don’t leave me.” I try to say but it comes out as no more than a whisper.

“I wont, I promise you.”

I feel her pick me from the floor as if I were nothing more than a feather. Sobbing I bury my face in her neck. It smells nice, soothing. She carries me away from the living room.

“It’s so loud.” I mumble half asleep. I always end up half asleep when this happens.

“I know baby, but its okay. Your safe.” her voice keeps me from breaking out in fresh tears.

We stop moving. It’s dark where we are. And warm. Out bedroom I guess. Our bedroom is always warm. She lays me down on our bed and pulls the covers over me.
“I want to be normal.” I whisper.

“Why? You are normal.” She sits down on the bed next to me.

“No! I’m not. Normal people don’t hear voices. I’m a freak!” I almost shout the end. I stop myself though.

“Baby, you are normal.” she says. “In your own unique way. In reality being ‘normal’ is something everyone wants to be. But noone is. Everyone has issues, whether with their physical self or mental self, we’ve all got problems. Someone who seems completely fine physically could be completely messed up mentally.”

I sigh. That’s not what I meant but I don’t argue. Shes right and I know it.

“Now get some sleep.” she says leaning forward and pecking me on the lips. “I love you Bunny.”

“I love you too Freddie.”

She gets up and leaves the room. To go brush her teeth, like she always does before bed. By the times shes gets back I’m asleep. Just as she gets into the bed beside me I roll over and mumble quietly, “loud”…