The Average Ryden/Rydon
Hello new readers!
Hello people, I am Brendon Urie, the sexiest lead singer on the planet. I'm sure you are all wondering about what I am staring at right now. If you guessed the window, you are wrong. But if you guessed Ryanlickingwhippedcreamoffofhisdelicatefingertipslikeasexybeast, then you are correct!
Now, I know I can have anyone, and Ryan isn't exactly the best out there, but thats why I'm so totally addicted to him.
And ew, Pete is calling me.
Normally this means two things: 1) Pete wants to talk to Ryan. or 2) Pete wants to talk about how hot he is and how the new couture bag he has goes perfectly with his new manicure.
I ignored the call. And guess what the bastard did? He called up Ryan! MY Ryan!
"Hey Pete, what is up.. No, I won't take a pic of myself naked.. No, I don't want to see your new bag.. Pete, do I need to hear this?"
He said something bad or perverted, I know it. I can tell by the disgusted look on his pretty face.
"Um, WHAT!" he shrieks. I smirk to myself; Pete, you are not succeeding in this little flirtation.
"EEW! What the fuck!" he shrieks.
Then, he begins to laugh.
MY Ryan, laughing? AT PETE'S JOKE?
NOOO! ITS THE END OF THE WORLD!!
I'm gonna go be emo now and bitch about my problems in a blog or something. Great, now we'll have to deal with Pete. Can't you just sense my excitement? I know I can!
Now, Pete will probably come over and this will mean another epic war between him and I. You see, Pete and I both hate each other very much. He flirts with Ryan more than I do, and has a better chance with him than I do therefore I HATE him.
And he is really, really annoying.
Like OVERTLY annoying. The I want to kill that person because he is flirting with Ryan annoying. Like I said, annoying. He is the Paris Hilton of FBR. The ditzier, vainer, Paris Hilton.
Oh, and he likes the color pink. Just thought that I should let you all know that.
All of a sudden, in comes Ryan telling me, "Pete is here."
Douchebag.
"Oh, okay then."
"Brenny, why did Pete kiss my cheek?"
"Because he is a douche."
"Then are you a douche? You kissed my cheek before on stage." he asks as his eyes show worry and confusion.
"No, no; I am not. I am the good one. Your best friend."
He smiles and leaves the room. You see, he is oblivious as fuck and that being said, Pete likes to take an advantage of that.
I enter the room and there is Pete; sitting there looking like a BITCH in his tight jeans, tight vee top, and a pink Armani bag.
Omfg, kill me now.
"Hey there Brenny Bear!" shouts Pete as he pulls Ryan into his lap; trying to make me jealous on purpose again.
"Hello Pete." I say with my teeth griding in anger.
"Ryry, you're so hot, I want you to be my boyfriend."
BITCH!! FUCKING BITCH!!
I was about to strangle that guy till Ryan asked, "Why am I on your lap?"
See, oblivious.
"Because I pulled you on here, now answer my question or else, like, omg, I will so totally have your band kicked off my label." he said while chewing bubble gum.
"...Can I get myself something to eat?"
"Why?"
"Because I'm hungry."
"Ugh! Sure, whatever, get your food hottie but don't eat too much or you'll become fat."
Who does he think he is?!
Ryan had to be in therapy for a year just so the shrink could expalin to him what anorexia is, and then another to get treatment.. And he has the guts to say this!
Ryan was in the kitchen crying.
"Ryan, what's wrong?" I asked, my arm wrapping around his lovingly yet in a totally sexual way.
"I look ugly, don't I?"
Okay, now I am confused.
"No."
"Then why did Pete call me ugly?"
"Because he's a douche."
I know Ryan is gay because I read his journals a billion times back when I was first stalking him. And now is the perfect time to steal him away.
"I think you are pretty." I say seductively.
He was silent as I attempted to kiss him. But he got out of my grasp the moment he saw a butterfly.
Now, I know I can have anyone, and Ryan isn't exactly the best out there, but thats why I'm so totally addicted to him.
And ew, Pete is calling me.
Normally this means two things: 1) Pete wants to talk to Ryan. or 2) Pete wants to talk about how hot he is and how the new couture bag he has goes perfectly with his new manicure.
I ignored the call. And guess what the bastard did? He called up Ryan! MY Ryan!
"Hey Pete, what is up.. No, I won't take a pic of myself naked.. No, I don't want to see your new bag.. Pete, do I need to hear this?"
He said something bad or perverted, I know it. I can tell by the disgusted look on his pretty face.
"Um, WHAT!" he shrieks. I smirk to myself; Pete, you are not succeeding in this little flirtation.
"EEW! What the fuck!" he shrieks.
Then, he begins to laugh.
MY Ryan, laughing? AT PETE'S JOKE?
NOOO! ITS THE END OF THE WORLD!!
I'm gonna go be emo now and bitch about my problems in a blog or something. Great, now we'll have to deal with Pete. Can't you just sense my excitement? I know I can!
Now, Pete will probably come over and this will mean another epic war between him and I. You see, Pete and I both hate each other very much. He flirts with Ryan more than I do, and has a better chance with him than I do therefore I HATE him.
And he is really, really annoying.
Like OVERTLY annoying. The I want to kill that person because he is flirting with Ryan annoying. Like I said, annoying. He is the Paris Hilton of FBR. The ditzier, vainer, Paris Hilton.
Oh, and he likes the color pink. Just thought that I should let you all know that.
All of a sudden, in comes Ryan telling me, "Pete is here."
Douchebag.
"Oh, okay then."
"Brenny, why did Pete kiss my cheek?"
"Because he is a douche."
"Then are you a douche? You kissed my cheek before on stage." he asks as his eyes show worry and confusion.
"No, no; I am not. I am the good one. Your best friend."
He smiles and leaves the room. You see, he is oblivious as fuck and that being said, Pete likes to take an advantage of that.
I enter the room and there is Pete; sitting there looking like a BITCH in his tight jeans, tight vee top, and a pink Armani bag.
Omfg, kill me now.
"Hey there Brenny Bear!" shouts Pete as he pulls Ryan into his lap; trying to make me jealous on purpose again.
"Hello Pete." I say with my teeth griding in anger.
"Ryry, you're so hot, I want you to be my boyfriend."
BITCH!! FUCKING BITCH!!
I was about to strangle that guy till Ryan asked, "Why am I on your lap?"
See, oblivious.
"Because I pulled you on here, now answer my question or else, like, omg, I will so totally have your band kicked off my label." he said while chewing bubble gum.
"...Can I get myself something to eat?"
"Why?"
"Because I'm hungry."
"Ugh! Sure, whatever, get your food hottie but don't eat too much or you'll become fat."
Who does he think he is?!
Ryan had to be in therapy for a year just so the shrink could expalin to him what anorexia is, and then another to get treatment.. And he has the guts to say this!
Ryan was in the kitchen crying.
"Ryan, what's wrong?" I asked, my arm wrapping around his lovingly yet in a totally sexual way.
"I look ugly, don't I?"
Okay, now I am confused.
"No."
"Then why did Pete call me ugly?"
"Because he's a douche."
I know Ryan is gay because I read his journals a billion times back when I was first stalking him. And now is the perfect time to steal him away.
"I think you are pretty." I say seductively.
He was silent as I attempted to kiss him. But he got out of my grasp the moment he saw a butterfly.