Shattered Glass and Memories

I laid in my bunk and noticed it was still dark out. Looking at my phone I saw that it was a little pass four o’clock in the morning. I groaned to myself when I realized I never took my insomnia pills. I tried going to sleep three hours ago and apparently have been laying here that whole time. It only felt like five minutes! Oh, guess you missed a lot. After Craig passed out we knew they weren’t gunna have a concert so we had to reschedule the venue. So now we get to stay here for a week and try to get Craig able to sing again. I sighed, knowing I wasn’t gunna sleep anytime soon. I sat up, detangling myself from Ronnie’s arms.

“Where are you going?” I looked back and saw Ronnie staring up at me with tired eyes.

“I can’t sleep, I’m just going to the front. Go back to sleep babe.” After I gave him a kiss, he passed back out in seconds. I smiled to myself before standing and walking to the front of the bus. I sighed and laid down on the couch, staring out the window at the stars.

“Sky?” Someone asked groggily. I jumped and fell off the couch, groaning on the floor. I looked up and saw Craig rubbing his eyes in the booth of the kitchen. In front of him sat another bottle of rum. I glared and stood, stomping over to him. I took the bottle and he started to whine and protest as I put the cap on and placed it in the freezer.

“No. No more drinking goddamnit,” I declared, shoving him back into his seat as he tried to go for the freezer door. He glared at me and I plopped down in the seat across from him which was almost closer to the fridge/freezer.

“Why are you doing this to me?” Craig asked.

“Because I care about you, that’s why. I’m not going to let you drink yourself silly again. I wasn’t here to stop you the first time, but I’m sure as hell here to stop you a second time,” I replied. He sighed and buried his head in his crossed arms on the table.

“That’s not what I meant,” Craig retorted, his words muffled. Confusion took over my face as I stared at the man before me.

“What do you mean?” I asked, truly lost. He let out an frustrated cry and looked up at me with stern and cold eyes.

“You care for me like a friend, flirt with me! Then you torment me by being just a friend and dating Radke! He broke your heart before and now you’re fucking let him set it up to do it again! You’re just gunna get hurt, yet you stay with him. I could take better care of you than him, I wouldn’t hurt you. But yet you stay with him and it tears me apart!” I watched Craig ramble with wide eyes. By the end he was in tears and straining to keep his voice quiet enough to not wake everyone else up. I got up and sat in the booth next to Craig, hugging him. He turned to me and clung to my clothes, sobbing into my shoulder/

“Calm down Craig. Please stop crying,” I begged softly. It didn’t work. I could feel my Guns N Roses tee shirt absorb his tears. I started to rock us back and forth, petting his hair. It felt like I was trying to get a seven year old to stop crying.

“You’re gunna stay with him, aren’t you?” Craig asked. His words were muffled and I could still feel his tears falling. When I didn’t reply and he looked into my eyes. “Please don’t stay with him.”

“Craig I can’t just-”

“Break it off? You could! He’s having a second chance at life, he’ll find someone,” Craig interrupted.

“But I have feelings for him too!” I informed. Craig’s mouth tightened and he looked down. Only a few seconds later he looked back at me.

“Don’t you have feelings for me too?” I opened my mouth and shut it again when nothing came out. “You do,” he conformed quietly.

“I do Craig but it wouldn’t be fair to Ronnie.”

“He already had a shot!” Craig hissed. “Who do you have stronger feelings for?!”

“I-” I looked at Craig, his hopeful eyes staring into my eyes. “I can’t answer that Craig.”

“It’s him,” he muttered to himself. He pushed me off of him, hopping over the booth to scuffle to the bunkroom. I heard him fall onto his bunk and shut the curtains. Tears brimmed my eyes as I knew I had broke his heart for the millionth time in the last month. I stood and walked to the fridge, snatching the rum bottle. I opened it and tossed the lid across the room. I sat back in the booth, taking a huge swig of it.

I’m such a fucking hypocrite.