Vigilantes

The atmosphere of the doctor’s office that Billie Joe and his eldest son sat in was beyond uncomfortable. The pair of them spent the painfully long twenty minute wait on looking everywhere but at each other, unable to produce a conversation that would ease their minds from such an awkward situation. Joey felt too young to be facing this ordeal while his father felt substantially out of place and powerless, crashing head-first into the realization that his son was no longer the pudgy pink infant he and his wife brought blissfully into their lives. Billie sighed, wishing the foul taste of the mere thought of growing older would subside. His son squirmed fretfully beside him, perhaps wishing he was anywhere else but that particular room. The boy was about to announce his discomfort when the doctor finally decided to make his long awaited appearance.

“Ah, Billie Joe, it’s been a while. How’ve you been holding up?” Dr. Kildoff asked warmly, having been the Armstrong family doctor since Joey was born.

“Could be better…but you know how it is,” Billie replied somberly, referring to the passing of Dr. Kildoff’s wife two years ago.

“I hear ya. So what seems to be the problem with young Joey here, today?” the doctor asked brightly, attempting to create a cheerful atmosphere despite the obvious melancholy cloud that was hovering above them all.

“Would you like to explain that one?” Billie suggested forcefully to his son, the frown eminent in his voice despite his virtually emotionless features.

Joey shifted in his seat once more, his eyes locked upon his twiddling thumbs, before explaining his current predicament. Needless to say, after knowing the teen for literally his whole life, Dr. Kildoff was a bit taken aback by Joey’s confession. After the boy had finished speaking, the doctor only stared, mouth slightly agape.

“You think you have gonorrhea?” Dr. Kildoff repeated, wishing as much as Billie that he misunderstood.

“Yeah,” Joey whispered.

Dr. Kildoff coughed uneasily before announcing, “Alright, Joey. You and your father are going to have to be taken into separate rooms and the both of you will be tested. Then, it will take about twenty minutes for the results to come back. Does that sound ok?”

“Wait…why do I have to be tested?” Billie demanded, horrified.

“In these cases, you can never be too careful…especially with a minor involved. We need to rule out all possibilities, I’m sure you understand-”

“No, I don’t understand! How could you possibly think that I’d…I’d…”

“I don’t think that at all, Billie. We just need to get all the facts. Now, are you two ready?”

Billie gulped, looking feebly down at his fidgeting son. He couldn’t believe this was happening. Joey had already explained, in gruesome full detail, the extent of the sex he’d had with Scarlett…so why was the doctor insinuating that this could somehow be his fault? After a ten second internal skirmish, Billie nodded, watching as their doctor of fourteen years led Joey out of the room.

“A nurse will be in shortly to examine you, Mr. Armstrong,” Dr. Kildoff assured Billie before closing the door behind him.

***

The exam was gratuitously invasive. Billie wanted to crawl right out of his skin throughout the duration of the nurse’s prodding, and wished the exam wasn’t affecting his son so negatively. He felt humiliated, being accused of unspeakable atrocities two days in a row, and wondered if someone had surreptitiously stamped the word pedophile across his forehead…which was soon followed by wondering if he had it tattooed on his arm somewhere. He made a mental note to check for any sketchy tattoos when he got home…

The nurse left in a hurry, her collected samples clutched firmly in her hands. Billie pulled his clothes back on as quickly as humanly possible the minute she left, then slumped into the chair he’d been sitting in before his son was taken into the other room. He didn’t understand why he felt so guilty…it’s not as if his test would be positive for gonorrhea.

The door flung open to reveal an incredibly flustered Joseph Armstrong, his face an unnatural shade of red and his hands thrust deep into the pockets of his jeans. Unfortunately, he had been as harmfully affected by the test as his father. He practically fell into the chair next to his father and did something Billie never saw coming…

Joey hugged him. It wasn’t a short, half-hearted hug, either. The boy clung to Billie, shaking as if he’d just seen Satan himself. All Billie could do was hold his son and wait another painfully long twenty minutes for the doctor’s return. Mercifully, it only took ten.

“We seem to have a slight predicament here, gentlemen,” Dr. Kildoff announced morosely upon his return, the manila folder open in his hands holding the test results, no doubt. “You both tested positive for gonorrhea.”

The last thing Billie could remember before he passed out were Detective Morano’s hateful words before he left the police station the preceding night: This isn’t over.

How unsightly correct he was.