Holiday In Cambodia

Billie Joe had lost track of time. He'd lost track of how long he had been sitting there, the hard wood of the tree behind him digging into his spine, his feet scratching uselessly at the dust beneath them, the faint sounds of discomfort that Tre was making at his side stinging his ears.

The light that shone down through the canopy of leaves above them was soft and deep orange in colour. He watched the way it dappled the ground in front of him, trying to decide if it was setting or rising. He couldn't remember sleeping, but he didn't suppose it mattered. Time didn't matter here.

Their watchman was still asleep. His gun rested lightly against his chest, rising and falling with his even breaths, his fingers spread loosely around the cold, metal barrel. At the sight of it, Billie Joe felt a familiar tightness rise in his chest, and he closed his eyes, biting down hard on his lip when he felt a prickling behind his eyes.

He thought of the way Adrienne always told him to control his breathing when he felt like this. The way she told him to rationalise everything. The panic was just fear of the way he was feeling. Without the fear, it wouldn't exist. Breathe slowly. Let it be as bad as it wants to be. Make it out the other side.

He slid his hand into the back pocket of his shorts, and felt relief dampen his anxiety when his hand closed around something soft. He glanced up at the sleeping guard for a moment, before pulling the handkerchief out of his pocket and holding it out in front of him. He felt the panic begin to leave him as he wound the material around his thumb, tugging on it a little as he felt his heartache take him over for the first time.

He needed her to be here.

He pressed the handkerchief against his face, feeling his tears soak into the cotton as he breathed it in, and wished it still smelled like her after all these years. He missed the way she smelled. He let out a sob into the material, before he balled it up in his fist and rested his head on his knees, closing his eyes and forcing another tear out into the open. His shaky breathing slowly evened out as he slipped from reality, losing himself in his memories of the past...

He scowled as he slammed shut his guitar case, snapping the locks on the side with far more force than was needed, before he picked it up from the stage floor and stacked it on top of the amps, ready to be taken out to the van. He'd had enough of this place.

He kicked his battered converse against the floor, adding another scuff to the rubber as he pulled his microphone from its stand and wound the lead around his hand.

Sell out.

What the fuck were they talking about? He hadn't even made enough money to pay the fucking rent and he was supposed to be a sell out already? He'd been under the impression that this was supposed to be fun.

"Assholes," he muttered, bitterly, glancing over his shoulder to where the last few drunken teenagers were finally finding their way out onto the darkened Berkeley street. He had no idea where Mike and Tre had got to. He didn't understand how they could be so unaffected by criticism, while to him each word was like a knife to his skin. "Assholes."

"You look pissed."

He sighed, turning slowly towards the unfamiliar female voice coming from behind him. He wasn't in the mood for another onslaught of contemptuousness.

The smirk that she wore was one of amusement rather than one of scorn, and he felt his defensive front falter for a moment at the sight of her, leant against the amps with a joint in one hand and a drink in the other. She always had been beautiful.

"I'm... yeah. I am."

She smiled, taking a few steps towards him and offering him the joint. He eyed her cautiously for a moment, letting their eyes meet for long enough that he caught the reassurance behind her eyes, and he took it, feeling her gaze upon him as he took a long drag and stared at the floor.

"... I'm Adrienne..." she told him, hesitantly, "I just wanted to say... I thought you were really awesome up here tonight."

He looked at her in surprise. At first, he thought she might be taking the piss, but the sincerity in her eyes told him she was doing anything but, and he quickly felt his cheeks tinge with pride.
"Uh... thanks. That's... you're the first person that's said that tonight."
Adrienne shrugged, as he passed her joint back to her.
"I didn't want you to listen to them," she said, "They're a bunch of assholes. All that stuff about you guys selling out... That's bullshit. They're only jealous as fuck 'cause you have talent and its getting you somewhere."
"I don't know... "
"I'm serious, I mean... I heard you're making a CD and... I mean, that's awesome. People wanna hear your music... what more could you want than that?"

Billie Joe smiled for the first time that night, feeling something warm flutter in his stomach..
"I'm... my name's Billie," he told her, "Billie Joe."
Adrienne smiled, holding out her hand, and watched as he nervously did the same, his fingers hesitant, before they took hers in a gentle shake. Her skin felt warm and welcoming.
"It's cool to meet you, Billie Joe," she smiled.
Adrienne's smile widened as Billie Joe nodded, his eyes meeting hers for a little longer than he had planned, before he dropped them back down to his shoelaces.
"Good to meet you," he smiled, softly, stealing another brief glance at her, feeling his insides tingle. .

Adrienne gently bit her lip, dropping her spent joint to the floor and shifting her weight on her feet.
"I have to leave now," she told him, "I'll... probably see you around here again some time though... right?"
Billie Joe nodded.
"I've been coming here since I was fifteen. A couple assholes aren't gonna keep me away if they start picking shit with me now."
Adrienne smiled.
"I'm gonna hold you to that," she said, before she turned and hopped down from the stage, "See you around Billie Joe."

He nodded in agreement, smiling as he lifted his hand in a wave that was as half-hearted as his attempt to look like he didn't mind her leaving. He watched her cross the emptying room, his eyes never straying from her, until she had disappeared through the double doors leading out onto the street and he realised how light headed he was feeling.

For a long moment he was still, staring at the door, biting his lip and fiddling with the microphone lead that he still held in his hand. He took a few steps towards the edge of the stage, then stopped, giving his head a little shake. He couldn't follow her. She'd think he was some kind of weirdo.

He looked back at the door again. Maybe he could just give her his number... just in case.

He pressed the mike lead against his forehead. She wasn't going to be interested in some loser in a band. He wasn't even a loser in a cool band right now.

But what if he never saw her again?

In a second he had leapt from the stage, his feet skidding on the slippery floor as he landed on it, and ran across the room through the entrance to the club and into the street. He barely noticed the way the cool air felt against his skin, or that he had to push through the thick huddle of skinheads who had gathered outside.

He tripped on his shoelace as he sprinted towards her, slowing down into a jog as he got closer. She turned around, her face breaking into a happy smile at the sight of him, flushed and out of breath, and apparently walking at a leisurely pace toward her.
"Hi," she grinned, "Long time no see."
"I just... I just wanted to... "

He twisted his fingers in his curly dark hair as he got his breath, trying to force something at least half-way cool to come out of his mouth. He met her eyes with his own.
"You want to go out sometime... with me?"

Adrienne giggled a little, before nodding her head.
"Sure, Billie Joe. That would be cool."

He grinned, as his heart skipped a few beats, and then raced to catch up.
"You want me to walk you home?"

Maggie was startled awake by the sound of the muffled sob coming from next to her, and her head snapped up. Her eyes rested on the sleeping guard for a moment, before she turned to Billie Joe, her heart aching at the sight of him, his face still buried in his spotted handkerchief.

She was glad he had managed to free herself and Tre from the ties on their wrists earlier on. Biting her lip, she reached out and laid a hand on top of his tangled hair, feeling his body jump at the sudden contact and offering him a sympathetic smile when he raised his head.

"Hey," she whispered, her voice scratchy from the lack of water, "It's okay... "

He nodded, sniffing and wiping at his eyes, before leaning back against the tree and letting out a shaky sigh. Maggie swallowed, looking down at the ground, before reaching out and taking his hand in her own, lacing their fingers together.

"You're going to get back to her," she whispered.

Billie turned his head, his glassy eyes meeting hers before he nodded, slowly. He didn't know if she was right or not, but it was easier to think that she was. He gently squeezed her hand, the burning feeling at the back of his throat threatening fresh tears as he saw the sadness in her eyes. He wished he hadn't fucked her around.

He took a second to compose himself before he spoke, forcing his voice to come out as evenly as he could manage.
"You and I are cool now, right?"
Maggie nodded, her eyes not leaving his.
"We're cool," she whispered, "I'm... sorry I got so pissy with you. Looks like getting marooned on an island with no water is one of my buttons."

Billie Joe managed a smile.
"Up on the rocks that day," he whispered, "I meant what I said. I wasn't trying to blow you off. I was trying to explain how messed up I was feeling. It all came out wrong and I'm sorry. But I was being sincere. I really do think you're an incredible woman."
Maggie smiled, looking down at their hands.
"I think you're an incredible woman too," she said, with a grin.

Billie laughed, softly, keeping his hand in hers as he raised the other to wipe at his eyes, feeling a small flicker of relief that at least one of his problems had been resolved.

Maggie closed her eyes, letting a comfortable silence settle over them, knowing there was nothing more that needed to be said. She could hear Amber and Jack whispering on the other side of the clearing, and the sound was a comfort to her. She wished they were closer.

The silence was broken by a whimpering to her left, and she opened her eyes as Billie Joe's hand slipped from hers, and she watched as he turned to face Tre, who had slid further down the tree, his head dropping onto his band mate's shoulder.

"Tre," Billie Joe whispered, nudging him, "Are you okay?"

There was no reply, and he felt his panic begin to return at the lifeless expression on his friend's face.

"Tre," he said again, more urgently, pushing him up into a sitting position and taking his face in his hands. "Wake the fuck up, man... "

Tre's head felt heavy, and he knew that if he let go of him, he would fall right over. He turned to Maggie, his face etched with fear.

"He's not looking good, Mag."

Maggie bit her lip, leaning over Billie Joe and placing her hand on Tre's rough cheek.

"He feels clammy," she said, worriedly, "We have to keep him conscious. He needs to wake up, he's been asleep too long... it's scaring me."
"It's scaring me too," Billie Joe agreed, hoarsely, "Maggie, he's... if anything happens to him, I-"
"Don't think like that," Maggie told him, firmly, wishing she could sound a little more confident. "We're going to get him home."

Billie Joe nodded, giving Tre another shove so that he was sitting upright, his weight leant against his shoulder. He took his hand.
"Tre," he hissed.

Tre's eyes opened a crack, but he didn't really see anything. He made a sound in the back of his throat, which was enough for Billie Joe's heart to leap in relief.
"Listen," Billie Joe hissed, "Squeeze my hand, right Tre? You have to stay awake."
"Can't... "
"Yeah, you can. You have to do this for me, man. Do this for me and... I'll buy you a beer when we get back to the mainland."
"Get back... we aren't gonna-"
"Yeah, we are, Tre. You just have to focus on that and stay, the fuck, awake. You hear?"

Tre mumbled something incomprehensible, and lightly squeezed Billie Joe's hand.
"Okay... " Billie Joe breathed, "Now keep hold of my hand tight, okay? I need to know you're still awake. Can you do that for me?"
Tre nodded, as he began to mumble.
"Been stranded on island... captured by psycho farmers... held at gun point... I'm not letting no fucking caterpillar take me down."

Billie Joe smiled, placing a kiss on the top of Tre's matted hair.
"Damn fucking right," he said, firmly.

"Is the guard still asleep?"

Jason dragged his eyes from the gap in the leaves and turned to look at Lara. She was sitting on the jungle floor, her arms wrapped around her knees, her face stained with tears. He nodded.

"What shall we do? We can't just wait here... I mean, soon enough the others could come back, and... Jason, we have to get them out of here."

He nodded again, frowning in thought as he kneeled on the ground in front of her and rubbed his forehead.

"They have a boat," he said, looking at Lara, steadily, "They came in a boat, right?"
"Right... "
"We heard it arrive... but I didn't hear it leave again. So that means the others must still be on the island somewhere... probably at the plantation. It's the only thing it would make sense for them to protect."
"Okay... "
"So, if they're still on the island, that means the boat is too. That boat is our way out of here."
"You want to steal their boat?"

Jason bit his lip.
"It's risky," he admitted, "But it's no more risky than waiting around here while they decide what they're gonna do to them. We're they're only chance. We have to get back to the mainland and get help."
Lara nodded, nervously.
"But... the boat could be anywhere. This means walking around looking for it. We could get ourselves killed."
"Lara," Jason whispered, taking her hands, "We haven't eaten or drunk anything in nearly two whole days, and I'm guessing that the others haven't either. We stay here... we get ourselves killed anyway."

Lara nodded, trying to hold back her tears of fright. Jason pulled her closer to him, wrapping his arms around her slight body so that her head rested against his shoulder.

"I think they came in from the East," he muttered, softly, "So we'll head that way first, and then just head round the island perimeter... I'm not gonna let anything bad happen to you."
"Okay... " Lara responded, shakily, allowing him to help her to her feet.

He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it, before leading her quietly through the trees and away from the clearing. Lara looked back over her shoulder, feeling panic flickering in her stomach for a moment, before she forced it away. It was the only plan they had.

"How're you feeling, man?" Jack asked, quietly, rousing Mike from his thoughts.
Mike looked up.
"My vision's a little clearer but... my head still aches like fuck."
"Mine too. It's the dehydration."
Mike nodded.
"How long can we go?"
"Huh?"
"Without water. How long can we go?"
Jack looked down.
"It helps we're in the shade. Probably... a few more days. But Tre... with his fever... I'm worried."

Mike swallowed, looking over at Tre, who was still leant up against Billie Joe with his eyes closed.

"Where do you suppose Jason and Lara are?"
Jack sighed.
"I don't know. But I sure hope they're okay. And if they are... I hope they find some way of getting us out of here."
Mike chewed on his thumb.
"I keep thinking... I keep wondering where they got to, if they're okay. I miss Jason like hell, I mean... like Billie and Tre, it's... the thought of losing any of them is fucking... " His voice cracked. "I can't even... "

"They will be okay."

The two men looked up at the sound of Mia's voice, her soft accent carrying across the quiet clearing.
"When the farmers caught me... they brought me straight here. If they catch Lara or Jason... they will bring them here too. They are not here yet."

Mike nodded, only just deciding that she was making a comforting point when he heard the sound of Amber beginning to cry, and he turned to look in her direction.

"But... they brought you here and... they didn't hurt you. What if they hurt Lara and Jase? What if they... what if they're not here because they... "

Mike swallowed, as Jack comforted his girlfriend, placing a kiss against her temple.
"Amber... we can't think like that. We just can't. Jason and Lara are not gonna go down without a fight."

Jason treaded carefully, lifting his feet clear of the ground with every step that he took, in an effort not to disturb the plant life that covered the jungle floor. His heart was pumping, his eyes wide, constantly scanning the trees for any sign that they needed to either run or hide.

He gripped Lara's hand tightly, occasionally looking back over his shoulder to check that she was okay, even though he knew already that she was anything but. She was as terrified as he was.

The sound of snapping branches in the undergrowth made his heart stop, and they both froze suddenly, Lara's grip on his hand tightening so that it was almost painful. Silence followed, punctuated only by the sounds of their ragged, shaky breathing, and the parrots in the trees. Lara's hand squeezed harder.

"What was... "

Jason turned to her, wide-eyed, holding a finger to his lips. She instantly fell quiet, her heart racing, before there was another rustling in the bushes next to them, and they both jumped just as a small brown monkey burst through the leaves and crossed the path in front of them. Jason let out a breath.
"Fuck... " he breathed. "Let's keep going."

It was a relief to get out of the jungle onto the beach. It wasn't their beach, but it seemed familiar all the same. The thickness and humidity of the jungle was oppressive, and they both felt safer in the open air, despite the fact that it gave them nowhere to hide.

"You think this is where they came in?" Lara asked, as they quickly crossed the sand.
"I think so," Jason replied, with a nod, "This is the back of the island. Look out there... nothing on the horizon but ocean. We're facing the other way. I'm sure the sound of the motor was coming from this way."
"You think they'll have pulled up on the beach?"
"I don't see no boat," he sighed, his forehead creasing with exhaustion and dehydration, "Let's follow it round to the rocks. They could have moored it round there or something."
Lara nodded, hooking her fingers onto his belt. She didn't have any intention of letting him go.
"I don't know what I'd have done if I'd been left behind on my own," she told him, quietly.
Jason raised an eyebrow, as he turned to look at her.
"I've been thinking the same thing," he said, sincerely.

Billie Joe turned to Tre, feeling his grip on his hand tighten.
"You okay, man?" he whispered.
He leaned closer, as Tre mumbled something that he couldn't catch.
"Huh?" he frowned.
"I'm still brave... ."

Billie Joe smiled, resisting the urge to roll his eyes.
"You sure are."
"... Elizabeth... "
"Yeah, how is ole' Elizabeth these days?"
"I'm still brave... Elizabeth... but... less brave... more fucked... toaster."

Billie Joe squeezed Tre's hand, turning to Maggie to see if she showed any signs of having made more sense of Tre's speech than he had, but she didn't appear to be listening. He reached out and placed a hand on her knee. She glanced up, smiling gratefully, before looking back down at the ground again.

Tre soon quietened down again and showed signs of slipping back asleep, but every one of his attempts at slumber was dashed by Billie Joe, who tugged his arm every time he felt his friend's grip on him loosen, usually eliciting a moan of protest.

Maggie listened to this struggle in silence, lost in her own hopeless thoughts, until they were broken by a whisper from her right.

"Are you worried about him?"

She turned to Mia, looking at her as if seeing her for the first time, and rubbed her forehead as she answered.
"Yep."

Mia bit her lip.
"I'm worried too. I'm worried about everyone. I... I want this to be over."

Maggie nodded.
"We all want this to be over," she agreed, "We just have to hope that it will be soon."
"If we get out... I'm going home to France."
"I think everyone feels that way. It's kind of killed our senses of adventure... right?"
Mia nodded.
"I miss France. French people would not do this to us."
"American people wouldn't do this to us either," Maggie replied, "... Unless we were Middle Eastern or hiding oil in our pockets."

At Mia's widened eyes, Maggie sighed, smiling a little as she gave her head a shake.
"I'm kidding," she said, "But... you get assholes all over the world. I don't think the majority of Cambodians would do this either."
"You are right," Mia agreed.
She paused, before she continued, quietly.
"I know what I did was wrong, Maggie," she said, "I'm ashamed. I have no excuses. I'm just sorry."

Maggie sighed, dropping her forehead onto her knees.
"I know. And I don't have the energy to hold any grudges right now, Mia."
"The others do. Especially Billie... "
"That's cause he's stubborn as fuck and it would be far too much effort for him to change that right now."
"I think you're the only one who is talking to me."
"Well... I guess I think everyone deserves a second chance."
"I think that makes you a good person."
Maggie smiled slightly, as she let out a long breath.
"Maybe it just makes me a stupid person."

"You still sure we can do this?"

Jason took his eyes from the small motorboat and looked at Lara. They stood on the rocks, arms folded, regarding their getaway nervously. The plan had seemed unquestionable when he came up with it, but the moment they turned the corner to see the small red boat secured to the tree root above the rocks, he had felt his stomach turn.
"No... I'm not sure," Jason whispered, nervously glancing back over his shoulder, for any sign that the boat's owners were nearby. "But this is our only hope. We'd be idiots to pass this up. We need to get in this fucking thing and get out of here, and we don't have time to stand around and think about it first."
Lara nodded.
"You ever drive one of these before?"

Jason nodded, as he clambered down the rocks toward the boat, and began untying the knot on the mooring with trembling fingers.
"Not for years but... when I first moved to California the ocean was kind of a novelty and I used to hang out down at the marina a lot... I think I can remember how to start a motor... "
Lara bit her lip, her adrenaline racing through her veins at the sight of Jason throwing the frayed rope inside the boat and stepping into it. Were they really about to do this?

"Jase... you know, if you start the motor, we have to move fast, right? Cause... if they're anywhere nearby, they'll be here in a second. You have to start this motor first time."
"I know," said Jason, his voice coming out slightly squeaky as he took Lara's arm firmly, helping her over the side of the boat, his heart jumping as the boat rocked, dangerously. "I already thought of that. That's what I'm afraid of. I never started a motor first time."
"Holy fuck... " Lara muttered, bringing her shaking hands to her face as she sat down on the broken wooden seat.
"Just... don't panic okay. If we get caught, we get caught. Promise me you won't panic."
"How the fuck am I supposed to stay calm if we get caught?!" Lara exclaimed, angrily, "They have guns!"
"And they're much more likely to use them if you start screaming your head off!" Jason warned her, sternly, "Just... do everything I say, okay? You have to trust me."
"I do... " Lara told him, feeling tears of fright come to her eyes.

Jason reached out and squeezed her hand with his own, before turning back to the motor behind him. They didn't have time to wait around any longer. They had to get moving before someone saw them.

His mind raced as he looked over the motor, trying to stay calm as he remembered what to do. He opened the tank vent and gripped the gear stick, pushing it into neutral with a shaking hand, listening to the motor begin to hum quietly. The sudden realization that he hadn't even checked if it had any fuel made his heart stop, and he frantically searched for the gas line while Lara looked on, wide eyed. It felt firm, and there seemed to be enough in the tank to at least get away from the island. To get all the way back to the mainland, he had no idea, but at that moment, the sharks seemed preferable to the gun-wielding madmen.

He glanced up at Lara, meeting her eyes briefly, before he took a deep breath and pulled the starter cord. His heart jumped into his throat at the volume of the noise it made, and he felt wild panic flood through him when nothing happened.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck... " he muttered to himself, trying to ignore the look of crazed fear on Lara's face as he frantically adjusted the choke and tried again.

Nothing happened.

Lara spun around, dizzy with fear as she heard the sound of voices in the jungle, only just audible under the chattering of the motor.

"Jason!" she screamed, completely disregarding his order not to panic.

His face was white as he looked up at the rocks, to see three figures emerging from the trees. This was it. They were fucked.

"Jason!"

Lara scrambled toward him, gripping his arm tightly as he pulled the cord hard for a third time and the motor roared, before spluttering into life. Relief flooded through him as he shifted gears and it started to pull away from the rocks.

The sound of the motor drowned out the angry yells from behind them, but the sound of gunfire cut through it like a knife. He quickly ducked his head, grabbing Lara and pushing her roughly to the floor of the boat, ignoring her protests as the boat sped away.

The discovery that they didn't hesitate to use their firearms scared him more than the shots themselves. He had been hoping they were only there as a threat, foolishly wondering if they were even loaded. If they were prepared to turn them on himself and Lara, he knew they wouldn't have any problem with firing at his friends either.

The boat shook as one of the shots hit its target, shattering the fibreglass just above the water level. Lara screamed, clinging to his leg, and he looked back at the rocks in time to see the men lower their guns, and take to yelling at one another instead, frantically gesticulating with their arms as they watched their boat skip over the water and away from their island.

"Have they gone?" Lara asked shakily, her voice rising over the noise of the engine.
Jason raised his head, watching the men disappear into the jungle.
"Yeah," he said, breathing heavily, before reaching down to pull her from the floor, "Are you okay, babe?"
Lara nodded, trying to catch her breath, her panic searing through her and making her whole body shake. Jason took her hands.
"It's okay... they've gone," he said, pulling her closer.
"Wh.. what are we... what do we do now?" she asked him, her eyes desperate.
"We need to turn the boat around, and circle the island... we're heading in the wrong direction, remember? We have to give the island a really wide birth though, cause we don't want to get within their range."
Lara nodded.
"I'm... that was... I'm so scared, Jason... "
Jason nodded, wiping the tears from her eyes.
"I know. But we're getting out of here now. I promise."
Lara shifted closer to him, wrapping her arms around his waist as he began steering the boat around to the left, before looking up at the island paradise they were leaving behind.
"You promise we're coming back for them... " she mumbled, tearfully.
Jason looked down at her.
"I'd rather get myself shot than leave anyone behind."