Forget All You Know

"I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past."
-Patrick Henry

Tom's P.O.V.

It had been about two months since the plane crash. Lila was still in a coma. Part of me was starting to doubt if she'd wake up at all. I hoped that she would. I prayed that she would. But, it seems as if wishing can only get you so far.

I'd still been going to the hospital every day. I would hold her hand and cry for hours, refusing to leave her side. I wanted to be the first thing she saw when she woke up. I figured that then she'd realize how much I cared. Everyone else had been visiting the hospital quite frequently. Jazzie was there almost as much as I was. She was taking this pretty hard. I could see why. Lila was her best friend. She'd been there with Jazzie through her highs and lows. There was a period when Dougie wasn't talking to her, because she was dating Danny, and Lila was there to comfort her every step of the way. Lila was Jazzie's rock, and without that rock, Jazzie couldn't function.

But, don't start thinking that Jazzie was the most miserable one here. Don't forget that I love Lila! She was my best friend and the love of my life. She was far more than my rock. She was my air. Without her, it felt like I couldn't live. I was suffocating in a world without color. Everything was gray to me now. It was like a fog was constantly surrounding me, even on the brightest of days.

On this particular day, I sat on a bench outside the hospital. I needed a smoke. And as I sat there, with my head in my hands, all I could think about was my best friend. I didn't think of Lila as my ex-girlfriend who I was still in love with. I could only think of her as my best friend, who I needed now more than ever.

>>>

"Lila, you have to turn that off now!" I yelled at her as I tried to scribble down my Math homework. She'd been playing "MMMBop" nonstop for the past two weeks! Now, don't get me wrong, that song is alright once. It's when you start playing it twenty times that there's a problem. I couldn't really blame her, though. She was a twelve-year-old girl. Of course she was going to be listening to cheesy pop songs sung by rather good looking young men (in this case, Hanson).

"If you don't wanna hear it, then you can go home," Lila said with a smile as she increased the volume on her stereo. "It's not like I'm forcing you to do your Math homework with me."

See, now here was my problem. Lila was my best friend and I liked her a lot. So, I had to decide between spending time with my best friend (also the girl I like) and losing my sanity in the process or doing my Math homework all alone, but not have a splitting headache. See my issue? I concluded that I would stay with Lila. I may go crazy, but I'll still be with her. And that was better than anything else in my eyes.

"Why not play a song that we both like?" I suggested as Lila groaned and stood up to change the song.

"What do you suggest, Thomas?" she asked in an annoyed voice as she began flipping through her many cassettes.

"I dunno," I said with a shrug as Lila turned her head and glared at me.

"If you can't come up with an alternative, then we're staying with Hanson," she said with a bright smile. I looked up from my Math homework and glared at Lila, who simply stuck her tongue out at me.

"I'm never talking to you again," I said as she giggled and came to sit next to me on the floor of her bedroom.

"Well that's a problem."

"Not for me," I said as I tried to block out the sounds of Hanson.

"Yeah, it is," Lila said with a smirk as I rolled my eyes. "You love me, and you know it too."

My eyes widened at the sound of that. Did she really figure me out? I mean, it's not like I was that obvious. And I didn't even know if it was love. I just happened to like Lila. What's the big deal? She obviously didn't know what she was talking about.

"I don't love you!" I said quickly. "You're just my best friend, Li. I don't see you that way."

What a lie.

"Relax, Tommy-boy," Lila said as she raised an eyebrow at me. "I was only joking."

"Right."

"So much for us ever dating, though," Lila said lightly as she stood up. "I'm gonna get some water. Do you want anything?"

"No, I'm good," I said dully as Lila smiled at me and made her way out of her bedroom.

All of a sudden, I wasn't in the mood to do my Math homework anymore. I kind of just wanted to go home. All I could think about was how I just ruined any chance of Lila and I ever dating. It depressed me to know that one stupid comment ruined everything. Now, I know what you're thinking. You're probably thinking that I'm some stupid kid who jumps to conclusions far too quickly. And to be completely honest, I was. But, with Lila, I took everything that she said seriously. I read into every single word that she said, always thinking that it meant more than it actually did. I know, I know, I'm a girl.

But, still. What if all hope was lost for us?

>>>

I sat on the bench and put my head in my hands. I let the tears fall down my face as I looked back on my childhood with Lila. She was - and still is - everything to me. I just couldn't shake the feeling that something terrible was going to happen. The chances of her actually waking up were slim to none. I knew that. But, even if she did wake up, what if she was still mad at me? What if she still thought that I'd moved on? Or, worst of all, what if she thought that I didn't love her? My world would crash even further down than it already has.

"Hello?" I said lazily into my mobile after I felt it vibrating in my pocket.

"Tom! Thank God you picked up!" I heard Jazzie say excitedly over the phone. "I think you should come to Lila's hospital room right now!"

"Why?" I asked, my heart beating a little faster than before. In the back of my mind, I had some hope that maybe something good would happen. Maybe my life would turn back around. For the first time in two months, maybe I could dream about the future, rather than dwelling on the past.

"Well, I was in her room with Danny and Dougie and then we saw her fingers start twitching, so we called for the doctor. He pushed us out of the room, but we're going back in now," Jazzie said quickly, causing a large smile to grace my forlorn features. "She's awake! Lila's awake, Tom!"