Something Completely Different
Chapter Three
It was morning now. My free night of thinking gone to waste. I hadn't thought shit about what I would do. I just thought about Lauren. My world. In my head anyway. We would never be together again. I had to face that. But it was just so hard...
I was up usual time. The time where you can't sleep and when you are up all night until time doesn't seem to matter anymore. I always did that. I always have major cases of insomnia when I actually did need sleep. When I didn't need sleep I was out right away. No one could possibly wake me from that. But times like now...Just who cares anymore?
I took a peek at my clock. 5:30. Guess It was about time to get up while there was still hot water. I slipped out of bed and made my way over to the bathroom. A hot shower sounded so good after all the stress I had been under last night.
I took off the clothes I actually had on and went into the shower and turned the hot water on full blast. Already the steam started relaxing all the muscles in my body.
I stood there for a good long time. Eyes closed. Just relaxing. Thats when I felt it. Felt her move up against my body in the shower and hold me tight. This couldn't be real. Had to be an illusion.
"Hey baby," She said. Her voice. Her sweet, sweet voice. I had missed it so much. Things started seeming like normal again. Like we were back at our apartment and she had just woke up to the water running and decided to come in with me. Like it always was.
"This can't be real," I said out loud this time. Shit! What if it really was her?! Saying that could just possibly have ruined us!!!!
"No its not. Look," She said. And I turned around and looked at her. She looked as beautiful as she ever had. She was solid. Real. I could feel her touch. This couldn't be an illusion."See? I am real. I just heard all the stuff going on and I wanted to be with you. Help you."
"Why?!" I said, anger finally overtaking me. "This is putting you in danger! This...Do you know what could happen if they found out you knew me!? who you are?! Its pure suicide!"
"No its not. Well...yeah. Its is. But lovers would do anything for each other. Right? I'm supposed to stay by your side no matter what." she paused. "I know you were going to propose that night...So why not do it now? Make things normal for at least a little while? Please?"
Wait. How did she know? I didn't tell anyone. I had the ring on me at all times. She would not have found out...
Was this still an illusion? This moment that felt so real? So right...
This was how things were going to be. Before this anyway. But not now. There was no way to find this place at all. She wouldn't know all this either.
Then another thing hit me. She had no idea about what happened that night. As far as she knew I just dissapeared. That I was just gone from the world.
"How do you know what happened?" I asked now suspicious.
"Because. I just do okay. Because I love you." Totally unbelieveable.
Now this really wasn't right. I turned back around towards the water for a minute. Just to wash away more stress. Just for a second of thinking time before I confronted her. Well...Asked her actually. Even if it wasn't her I didn't have the heart to just attack her with something like that. She was just...Too much a part of me.
After I was finished relaxing under the flow of the hot water I turned back around. She wasn't there. Shit! I was actualyl starting to believe it. She wasn't real. Just another thought brought back to the front of my mind. But it seemed like so much more...
I got out of the shower dazed from my last encounter. Well...thought actually. It seemed like a sign sort of. All of my first month here I had had nothing like this. Then when my sister dies it just comes. Not only does it come but it feels so extremely weird. Maybe...Maybe its telling me I should go with mom. Go with her. Maybe we'll deal with all these problems. Kill the guys we need too. So then maybe, just maybe, I could have a normal life again. My life with Lauren. My friends. Go back to college. Maybe even just start a new life over if I had to. As long as Lauren was in it...
I thought about this for a while.
And thought.
And thought.
It was almost time for me to make my decision. Would I go or not? Was it even worth it to go? Thoughts flowed through my head. Everything. Everything in my life. What Mom had done. What my sister meant to me. Was it all worth going and possibly risking mine and many others lives?
Another minute of thought and I knew the answer. I knew what I had to do. No matter how it happened...no matter what I did. I would probably have the same fate anyway.
I was up usual time. The time where you can't sleep and when you are up all night until time doesn't seem to matter anymore. I always did that. I always have major cases of insomnia when I actually did need sleep. When I didn't need sleep I was out right away. No one could possibly wake me from that. But times like now...Just who cares anymore?
I took a peek at my clock. 5:30. Guess It was about time to get up while there was still hot water. I slipped out of bed and made my way over to the bathroom. A hot shower sounded so good after all the stress I had been under last night.
I took off the clothes I actually had on and went into the shower and turned the hot water on full blast. Already the steam started relaxing all the muscles in my body.
I stood there for a good long time. Eyes closed. Just relaxing. Thats when I felt it. Felt her move up against my body in the shower and hold me tight. This couldn't be real. Had to be an illusion.
"Hey baby," She said. Her voice. Her sweet, sweet voice. I had missed it so much. Things started seeming like normal again. Like we were back at our apartment and she had just woke up to the water running and decided to come in with me. Like it always was.
"This can't be real," I said out loud this time. Shit! What if it really was her?! Saying that could just possibly have ruined us!!!!
"No its not. Look," She said. And I turned around and looked at her. She looked as beautiful as she ever had. She was solid. Real. I could feel her touch. This couldn't be an illusion."See? I am real. I just heard all the stuff going on and I wanted to be with you. Help you."
"Why?!" I said, anger finally overtaking me. "This is putting you in danger! This...Do you know what could happen if they found out you knew me!? who you are?! Its pure suicide!"
"No its not. Well...yeah. Its is. But lovers would do anything for each other. Right? I'm supposed to stay by your side no matter what." she paused. "I know you were going to propose that night...So why not do it now? Make things normal for at least a little while? Please?"
Wait. How did she know? I didn't tell anyone. I had the ring on me at all times. She would not have found out...
Was this still an illusion? This moment that felt so real? So right...
This was how things were going to be. Before this anyway. But not now. There was no way to find this place at all. She wouldn't know all this either.
Then another thing hit me. She had no idea about what happened that night. As far as she knew I just dissapeared. That I was just gone from the world.
"How do you know what happened?" I asked now suspicious.
"Because. I just do okay. Because I love you." Totally unbelieveable.
Now this really wasn't right. I turned back around towards the water for a minute. Just to wash away more stress. Just for a second of thinking time before I confronted her. Well...Asked her actually. Even if it wasn't her I didn't have the heart to just attack her with something like that. She was just...Too much a part of me.
After I was finished relaxing under the flow of the hot water I turned back around. She wasn't there. Shit! I was actualyl starting to believe it. She wasn't real. Just another thought brought back to the front of my mind. But it seemed like so much more...
I got out of the shower dazed from my last encounter. Well...thought actually. It seemed like a sign sort of. All of my first month here I had had nothing like this. Then when my sister dies it just comes. Not only does it come but it feels so extremely weird. Maybe...Maybe its telling me I should go with mom. Go with her. Maybe we'll deal with all these problems. Kill the guys we need too. So then maybe, just maybe, I could have a normal life again. My life with Lauren. My friends. Go back to college. Maybe even just start a new life over if I had to. As long as Lauren was in it...
I thought about this for a while.
And thought.
And thought.
It was almost time for me to make my decision. Would I go or not? Was it even worth it to go? Thoughts flowed through my head. Everything. Everything in my life. What Mom had done. What my sister meant to me. Was it all worth going and possibly risking mine and many others lives?
Another minute of thought and I knew the answer. I knew what I had to do. No matter how it happened...no matter what I did. I would probably have the same fate anyway.
♠ ♠ ♠
I don't like this one that much...but...well this is mostly a filler but it also has a lot to do with some other stuff that happens in the book. So stay tuned... :)