I'd Come For You

I sighed, staring up at the roof of the van. I'm not sure entirely who I was laying on, or if we were even moving I just knew that I didn't feel all that great today. Positively green round the gills as my dad always says.

It's a strange saying truth be told but there you go.

But getting back to the matter at hand, I don't know whose turn it was to drive the van but the monotonous rumbling of the engine and the motion of the tyres didn't help the churning in my stomach.

Nothing like being several thousand miles away from home, starving hungry and sick with the flu. At this rate I wouldn't even be home for my baby's birthday, and I'd given her my word that I would be there to see her turn eighteen.

We just had two more nights to play and then we could go home finally. I missed Sarah like crazy; I'd left for tour on bad terms with her. It was the most ridiculous argument, I can't even remember what it was about that was how pointless it was but we hadn't made it up when I got in the van to go.

I'd apologised on the phone since but that isn't the same. I guess missing her eighteenth would be the icing on the cake, the reason her brothers were looking for to beat me up and convince her to dump me.

They'd been digging for one the moment she brought me home to meet them, just because I was a year older than her. The only reason they hadn't laid a hand on me just yet was because of Sarah; they knew she'd go apeshit if they did.

Eventually the rumbling stopped and I realised we had actually been moving. To my right the door began to slide open with a reluctant groan, and a slither of lamp light flooded the back of the van where six of us were crashed out on top of one another, plus some of our gear.

And then I saw Val, her dark hair pulled back from her face with a band, smiling at Matt - Sanders - as he all but fell out of the van having been nearest to do the door and pressed unwillingly against it by Johnny's fat ass.

Following Matt the others untangled themselves. "God I need a slash," Jimmy grumbled, his voice hoarse tonight.

"You always need one," Brian retorted, thumping the back of Jimmy's knee with his foot as he sat on the edge of the van. "Piss head."

I laughed, but all that ensued was my own coughing and spluttering, unable to drag any oxygen into my lungs and I knew everyone had stopped talking and turned to look at me. Thing was, now I'd started coughing I couldn't stop.

It literally was like I had a frog in my throat. Or my lungs, whatever it was it was starving me of oxygen. My chest hurt, my throat burnt and my face was wet with the tears from all the coughing. What was worse was that I couldn't sit up either to help myself.

"Jesus Christ, sit him up!" Val yelled and suddenly a pair of heavy hands were under my arms yanking me up, before a third began to thump me on my back like I was a baby and they were trying to wind me.

"No choking on tour!" Jason said from somewhere behind me. "I thought we'd talked to you about this young man!"

"Yeah dude," Matt Berry then added. "I am pretty sure we sat you down and gave you the choking on tour speech!"

"And you go and just disobey us!"

This wasn't helping, I wanted to laugh which was the reason I was choking on my coughs in the first place. It took a further five minutes before I had stopped coughing; I don't think any of us had ever been so scared in our lives.

Well, except for the time Sarah had appendicitis and had to be rushed to hospital; until I knew what was wrong with her I had quite thought she was dying but as it turned out she was fine. Thankfully. I had never been a particularly religious person but I'd prayed to any God that would listen to me that night. Someone answered, but I did thank them all just in case.

And the doctors much more profusely than even her parents or her brothers.

I leaned against the cool metal wall, beads of sweat rolling down my forehead, as I watched the others standing round, some even sitting on the floor whilst we took in and tried to comprehend what just happened.

"You look like death warmed up, man," Matt Sanders then spoke. "Sarah will kill us."

"It's not like we gave him flu on purpose!" Jimmy protested.

"None of us have even had flu you idiot," Johnny rolled his eyes, wandering around as he sparked up a cigarette. He was such a little shit but the way he acted it was almost as if it was his God given right to do so. I don't think it helps that we encourage the behaviour by making him the dogs body.

"Shut the fuck up Johnny, nobody likes you," Jimmy now said. "You're opinion doesn't count."

I waved my hand, breathless, wanting them to stop. I knew what would happen, it had happened a million times before that we had all pretty much memorised the scene word for word. Johnny would say something along the lines of, 'I'm the only bassist you have, you know Jimmy, because I'm the only one who would put up with you' and then Jimmy would continue yelling - usually in a drunken state too - that Johnny's opinion still didn't count so his comment didn't count and then Johnny would reckon he was 'quitting the band' till Jimmy began grovelling.

"Just...stop..." I gasped, clutching my aching chest.

"He needs to be in hospital," Val said before turning away and rolling her eyes. "You fuckers and your man flu."

"Hardly man flu when he's struggling to breathe, Valerie!" Brian threw his arm out to point at me. "Besides if you haven't remembered we're on tour, we can't afford anything! You've already given us more money than we deserve, that we've spent!"

"We need to go home," she then sighed, looking at me as they all did. I guess right now I wasn't going to have a say in the matter. I'd coughed my guts up to a point my throat burnt so badly I couldn't talk, I was too breathless to do say anyway.

"We need to finish the tour."

"I don't care," I rasped. "Just so long as I'm back for her birthday."

That was all I cared about right now. Fuck the fact I was dying of flu, fuck the fact we had two nights left to play, just so long as I was home on her birthday. I don't care about the rest just so long as I get to give my baby her birthday kisses, on her birthday.

"Dude you wouldn't care if you were about to die just so long as you were home for Sarah's birthday, would you?" Brian laughed.

I smiled sheepishly and shrugged my shoulders before we all went silent. We'd been given plenty to think about now. Do we finish the tour and hope I don't die first, or do we just cut it short and head home now?

Okay so maybe I did care. I wanted a hug from my mom; I always want my mum when I'm ill. Sometimes it gets so bad I randomly start crying just because I want my mom, and I didn't want to start crying on stage in the middle of a gig.

And I missed Sarah.

That swayed my answer instantly. "I vote we go home."

Slowly everyone began to nod in agreement, all but Jimmy, who was pissed anyway, who began to stomp his feet and complain till Johnny simply stepped up towards him, placed a hand on his shoulder to give him a light shove. Jimmy fell backwards instantly, right off his feet and landed on the floor. It shut him up.

"The sooner we're home the sooner we can pump medication into you," Val sighed as the guys began to file back into the van.

"And maybe if we're back sooner than expected, Sarah won't be so hard on us when she sees how ill you are," Brian grinned as he and Matt began to lift Jimmy up to his feet. He'd passed out completely; not even falling over had affected the guy. Unless he'd got a concussion and passed out from that. Oops.

Oh well he shouldn't be such an alchy.

"She's not that scary," I muttered. Now they were talking about her I missed her more. I missed her a lot. She was still in school, one of the only girls in her grade who got to go to graduation prom twice. First with me to my prom, and then I'll escort her for the second time to her own prom in the summer.

That is providing we get home before it's too late for me and I don't die from fever and an exploding head and a chest infection and a sore throat first, to name but a few things I'm currently dying from.

I sighed. I couldn't even call her to say hi because my cell was dead, and so was everybody else’s. Power cords were useless to us as we travelled around in this van. Well, they were helpful when we stopped at motels but eventually we lost them. The very last power cord, Jason's, had gone AWOL just the day before.

I personally suspected it of being trapped inside one of the boxes we were lugging round filled with our equipment. Jason had been pretty out of it last night after the show, and so had his brother and Johnny who were helping pack stuff up.

Finally the door closed and not moments later we were moving in our clapped out old van, our trusted touring vehicle with an unreliable motor and probably a dozen more problems to its name on top.

"Who's driving?" I asked, looking round at the faces in the back with me.

"Sanders I think," Johnny shrugged, poking Jimmy's cheeks. He'd pull out a razor soon and shave off his eyebrows or draw all over him; he'd taken to drawing penises and writing I <3 Penis on sleeping people in the last few weeks. Just not Val, he'd learnt the hard way there and not through Matt Sanders either.

"Val's already done her share for the night," Brian added.

"Drive faster!" I attempted to yell. "At this rate we'll still miss Sarah's birthday!"

All this earned me were the hearty chuckles of my friends - a snort from Jimmy, who remained defiantly passed out - and a hand appeared from the front cab, to give me the bird. How nice of them.

* * * *

In the back of that horrid, stuffy and quite frankly putrid smelling van I lost track of time as the fever began to consume me. It wasn't a problem when I was too cold, because they would just pile all of their clothes on top of me.

But when I was too hot, the heat was worse which made the smell worse and we would have to stop the van and have the doors open to let the fresh air through. It wasn't a bad thing, it meant the van smelt less for a few more hours when we were able to get back on the road.

It was the most unconventional method of keeping a temperature in check that I could imagine, and after a while I was thoroughly convinced it wasn't working. I remember one time when I had been running a raging temperature, mom joked that she would take me to her friend's restaurant, and have me sit in the cold storage room till it had gone down.

Cold storage rooms sounded rather appealing to me as I lay, too weak to do anything and sweating buckets. My friends were stuck with the smell too, and had no way of getting away from it because there wasn't much room left over when you crammed six men in the back.

I could see myself convulsing at this rate. I did that once as a kid, and ended up in hospital. I'd run a temperature through the night but mom hadn't realised because I'd been fine when I went to bed. Well she woke in the middle of the night to me convulsing which scared the shit of her and dad.

I could also feel my bottom lip beginning to tremble with the need to cry. "How long have we been driving?" I asked, dragging my fist over my eyes to rid them of the tears already spilling over.

"Well, almost thirty hours now," Jimmy answered before looking at me with solemn eyes. He'd come out fine after passing out in that parking lot the other night, I just couldn't believe that was thirty hours ago now. "We've still got two days, tops of driving ahead of us."

"We should be closer than that," I coughed, but before it could frog and turn into a coughing fit, Val was upon me with a bottle of water acquired from an unknown source, as Matt Sanders helped me to a more comfortable sitting position.

"We would be if we didn't have to keep stopping because of your temperature."

"I'm going to miss Sarah's birthday aren't I?" I then spoke sadly. I didn't expect anyone to answer, it was more rhetorical than anything. It didn't take a genius to figure out that we'd miss it.

"Not if we don't stop," Johnny shrugged.

"Johnny!" Val shrieked. "Do you want Zack to have a fit because of his temperature? Have you felt how hot his forehead is lately?!"

"No I was just poin-"

"Then drive without stopping," I spoke once I was done drinking and coughing.

They all looked at me like I was completely crazy. I probably was whilst I was ill. I'd been hallucinating already, I was bound to have been talking gibberish, I'm sure crazy senseless thought was coming along nicely.

Val opened her mouth to protest but I jammed my fingers in my ears so I couldn't hear her. Actually, it doesn't entirely work but it got the picture across that I wasn't going to listen to her protests right now. She can just tell me I told you so if I end up being taken to the Emergency Room.

"Okay," she finally said, nodding her head in defeat. She looked the others over before getting out of the van and climbing into the front cab. I smiled, satisfied, but the guys just gave me discerning looks. They didn't agree either.

Within minutes I could feel the tyres bumping along the asphalt freeway as we sped along as fast as the van went, determined to be home. But by now I was beginning to heat up again, much more so than before.

I scrunched my eyes up, taking a deep breath of air that smelt of male body odour and nothing else besides, hoping I could maybe sleep off the heat. Heat isn't always easily avoided however, not when you are ill.

My skin was prickling. I was sweating buckets, so much that my clothes around the necklines were soaked. I thought about taking it off but then I knew I would get cold all over again. I opened my eyes to peer at a fuzzy-round-the-edges world, my vision beginning to barrel itself as the heat sent a dizzy spell through my head.

I felt myself fall sideways till I was leaning against Brian, and I was aware of my muscles involuntarily spasm, my legs and arms jerking about. I heard mayhem around me as the guys began to panic, because I couldn't see, not when I finally passed out.

* * * *

Something, and I'm not sure what, beeped from my left. That was the first noise I heard as consciousness finally came back to me. There was also a horrid stinging in my throat, and I brought my hands up to the thing hanging off my nose, the source I figured of the uncomfortable scratchy feeling.

I was going to pull it out and be rid of it, but a hand suddenly clasped around mine and pulled it away before I could. "Hold up buster," a familiar sweet comforting voice spoke. "Leave that alone."

I forced myself to open one eye, battering my eyelid till my vision was clear and focused on Sarah who was sitting on the bed beside me. Her face looked a little sleep deprived, but as beautiful as I remember.

"Hi," I croaked, the found of my voice strange in my own ears. "Long time no see."

It didn't take a genius to figure out where I was. Which only meant I'd failed on my promise to be home for her birthday. Man did I feel lousy now, especially because her brothers would now have the perfect excuse to beat me up.

"Well I must say this is quite a birthday," she then commented.

"Heh." It was the only sound I could manage when I felt the tickle in my throat creep up until I couldn't help but cough it out. Attentive to me as she ever was, Sarah poured me a glass of water and held it to my lips for me to sip. I still spluttered a little, but it wasn't as bad as my coughing fit the other night.

When I was done I sighed and lay my head back on my pillows which she had pulled up for me.

"Your brothers are going to kill me."

Sarah gave me a quizzical look. "Why?"

"Because I made a promise to be home on your birthday, and I broke it," I answered. "Because I got myself in hospital."

She sighed too, grabbing my hand in both of hers and kissed it, before pressing it to her cheek and looking up at me with a loving smile. That was my smile, she never pulled it for anyone but me.

"You only broke the home part," she then said. "It's still my birthday. As soon as you were brought into the hospital, Val called to let me know you'd come down with flu and landed yourself in hospital because of a temperature. So as soon as I put the phone down, I got dad to drive me out here to you."

I smiled back appreciatively. Sarah didn't have to do that. She could just have stayed home and enjoyed her day, whilst brooding that I had missed it. But she hadn't, she'd gone out of her way to get her dad to bring her to me - wherever it was that I had found myself being taken to hospital.

"Thank you," I whispered. I loved her, I loved her more than anything else in the universe. I wanted to be with her forever and ever. Then I steeled myself. "So what exactly did the doctors say?"

"Severe chest infection," Sarah informed me. "They're dosing you up on antibiotics and steroids. One of your lungs was filled with oxygen that couldn't escape so you did have a mask to begin with, till you could breathe on your own."

"Besides all the other symptoms of influenza," I muttered, now studying my name tag. Sarah laughed.

"I hear you were convinced you would die," Sarah then giggled. "Man flu, huh?"

"Heey!" I whined. "I was very very ill thank you, I couldn't breathe!

"I know and I'm very thankful to all the nurses and the doctor who have got you on the road to recovery," Sarah smiled softly, coming to stand on her feet and leaning over to plant a delicate kiss upon my lips. "I love you."

"I love you too, birthday girl," I whispered back. "Happy birthday."