Senior Slumps
Opening
"What a touchdown man!" the halfback howled and slapped Burke Baker on the back, a move that would have knocked the wind out of anybody else who wasn't a 180 pound football star. But tonight, actions like these weren't uncommon mostly because the party surrounding us was being thrown almost exclusively for Burke.
He grabbed my hand and led me through the congestion of people, all who knew him by name and seemed to be his best friend. I felt like a kitten next to the empire state building. In a room filled with huge, muscled and meaty football players I was easily one of the smallest people in the room, a mere 5'6" in comparison to my 6'2" escort. I chose to call Burke my escort because I just couldn't call him my boyfriend. Sure we had been together for 8 months and had fucked once or twice...or 18, times, and if anyone asked I would have said he was my boyfriend but still. There was something there that was missing, a feeling that was missing with all of my boyfriends in the last 3 years. It was feeling that I hadn't for someone since Him.
I shook off any thoughts of Him in my mind and kept following Burke through the party. I chatted with his teammate's girlfriends but my heart and mind wasn't in it. I looked around the room at the people surrounding me, 3 years ago I would have hated all of theses people. In one corner a group of girls trashed talked about everyone, I wondered if my name had come up, most likely it had. In another, a drunken Frat boy tried to solicit a freshman in the corner, the poor thing looked terrified. Next to me, my 'escort' bragged about the game winning touch down he had scored just a few hours before and how completely awesome he was. And right in front of me, Liza, a girl wearing a low cut top, The 'Titty' shirt I heard her call it, was talking about how many guys she blew in the past year, and the rest of the girls in our circle nodded their heads like those dogs you put on your dashboard, amazed at her high statistics.
I looked down at the wine cooler in my hands and sighed. Was this who I was now? Could I have changed so much in 2 years? Did I belong here? The questions burned in my mind, in my ears I could almost hear him saying it again "You're going to go there, and when you come back, you're not going to be the same."
"Yeah have you given Burke head yet Jess? Jess?"
I snapped my head up and saw Liza looking at me, so were the other girls in the group, their eyes wide, like they were nocturnal animals.
"Oh umm, no" I said softly, which was a lie because I didn't feel like going into detail. Also because the thought of it disgusted me since I was practically forced to do it.
"Huh," Liza said smugly, "Mind if I?" she joked and the other girls in the circle laughed, all except for me. "God Jess, I'm kidding." She said "Get a sense of humor."
I gave a crooked smile, if things were like before, I would have told her off. When she looked away I looked her up and down. I looked at her sandaled feet, shiny waxed legs, mini-skirt, 'Titty shirt', dowel-like arms and bra-less B cup breasts. She was the campus skank, the easy girl, the one that guys jerked off to when she wasn't around to go down on them. And I was associated with her.
Suddenly I felt completely sick and disgusted, I needed to leave now. I found Burke with a bunch of his buddies laughing about a dirty joke that I had only heard the punch line to.
"Can we go?" I asked, "I'm done."
"Yeah baby, in a few minutes okay?" he said putting his arm around me. It wasn't an act of compassion though, more like an act of ownership, and if felt empty and lifeless against my skin.
**
Apparently a few minutes in Burke's world is a completely different measurement of time than in the rest of the universe because it wasn't until 3 hours later that we entered his single dorm and he began drunkenly kissing me and trying to take off my shirt. Being a little shit-faced myself, I obliged until the shrill of a phone interrupted us.
"Shit," he muttered, red faced. "Go lay on the bed I'll be back in a minute." He instructed and went to the hallway to answer his phone.
I lay on the plaid comforter and took off my socks and jeans. I heard some muffled "Uh-huhs and "Ok's" from the hallway. Trying to relax I spread my arms out above my head and they slid under the cool, smooth pillow. Moving them around I felt them come into contact with what felt like a hard plastic on top of fabric. I grabbed whatever it was a dragged it to where I could see it. It was a black, sequined, barely-nothing, thong. It was defiantly not mine and I knew it, I would never wear something so... slutty.
I made sure that the first thing that Burke saw when he entered the room was me, sitting there fully dressed, the thong hanging limply from my pinched fingers.
"Fuck." He muttered.
"How long?" I asked calmly, "How long have you been fucking someone else?"
He didn't answer right away so I started to get up and walk out, "3 weeks!" he called out and I turned around, "Three weeks?" I asked in disbelief.
"Yeah, but baby... " he tried to make up an excuse
"DON'T 'Baby' me!" I yelled, "I'm not your Fuckin 'Baby'." And with that I threw the pathetic piece of cloth at his head and stormed out of the room and down the hall.
"Jess!" he called out after me "Wait!"
I didn't stop; I raised my arm up high and gave him the finger, a move I hadn't made in a long time. I had forgotten how good it felt. But now I couldn't think about that, I had never felt so betrayed. Even though I didn't even see anything in us, the thought of him cheating on me made my heart feel like it was ripped out and stepped on with spiked baseball cleats. Tears began to cloud my eyes as I ran out of the dormitory and sprinted to the on-campus house I was living in. I ran like my life depended on it, like there was going to be some kind of answer at the house that would finally fix everything that was wrong. But when I got there, the only thing I had was my best friend and a box of double stuffed Oreos.
He grabbed my hand and led me through the congestion of people, all who knew him by name and seemed to be his best friend. I felt like a kitten next to the empire state building. In a room filled with huge, muscled and meaty football players I was easily one of the smallest people in the room, a mere 5'6" in comparison to my 6'2" escort. I chose to call Burke my escort because I just couldn't call him my boyfriend. Sure we had been together for 8 months and had fucked once or twice...or 18, times, and if anyone asked I would have said he was my boyfriend but still. There was something there that was missing, a feeling that was missing with all of my boyfriends in the last 3 years. It was feeling that I hadn't for someone since Him.
I shook off any thoughts of Him in my mind and kept following Burke through the party. I chatted with his teammate's girlfriends but my heart and mind wasn't in it. I looked around the room at the people surrounding me, 3 years ago I would have hated all of theses people. In one corner a group of girls trashed talked about everyone, I wondered if my name had come up, most likely it had. In another, a drunken Frat boy tried to solicit a freshman in the corner, the poor thing looked terrified. Next to me, my 'escort' bragged about the game winning touch down he had scored just a few hours before and how completely awesome he was. And right in front of me, Liza, a girl wearing a low cut top, The 'Titty' shirt I heard her call it, was talking about how many guys she blew in the past year, and the rest of the girls in our circle nodded their heads like those dogs you put on your dashboard, amazed at her high statistics.
I looked down at the wine cooler in my hands and sighed. Was this who I was now? Could I have changed so much in 2 years? Did I belong here? The questions burned in my mind, in my ears I could almost hear him saying it again "You're going to go there, and when you come back, you're not going to be the same."
"Yeah have you given Burke head yet Jess? Jess?"
I snapped my head up and saw Liza looking at me, so were the other girls in the group, their eyes wide, like they were nocturnal animals.
"Oh umm, no" I said softly, which was a lie because I didn't feel like going into detail. Also because the thought of it disgusted me since I was practically forced to do it.
"Huh," Liza said smugly, "Mind if I?" she joked and the other girls in the circle laughed, all except for me. "God Jess, I'm kidding." She said "Get a sense of humor."
I gave a crooked smile, if things were like before, I would have told her off. When she looked away I looked her up and down. I looked at her sandaled feet, shiny waxed legs, mini-skirt, 'Titty shirt', dowel-like arms and bra-less B cup breasts. She was the campus skank, the easy girl, the one that guys jerked off to when she wasn't around to go down on them. And I was associated with her.
Suddenly I felt completely sick and disgusted, I needed to leave now. I found Burke with a bunch of his buddies laughing about a dirty joke that I had only heard the punch line to.
"Can we go?" I asked, "I'm done."
"Yeah baby, in a few minutes okay?" he said putting his arm around me. It wasn't an act of compassion though, more like an act of ownership, and if felt empty and lifeless against my skin.
**
Apparently a few minutes in Burke's world is a completely different measurement of time than in the rest of the universe because it wasn't until 3 hours later that we entered his single dorm and he began drunkenly kissing me and trying to take off my shirt. Being a little shit-faced myself, I obliged until the shrill of a phone interrupted us.
"Shit," he muttered, red faced. "Go lay on the bed I'll be back in a minute." He instructed and went to the hallway to answer his phone.
I lay on the plaid comforter and took off my socks and jeans. I heard some muffled "Uh-huhs and "Ok's" from the hallway. Trying to relax I spread my arms out above my head and they slid under the cool, smooth pillow. Moving them around I felt them come into contact with what felt like a hard plastic on top of fabric. I grabbed whatever it was a dragged it to where I could see it. It was a black, sequined, barely-nothing, thong. It was defiantly not mine and I knew it, I would never wear something so... slutty.
I made sure that the first thing that Burke saw when he entered the room was me, sitting there fully dressed, the thong hanging limply from my pinched fingers.
"Fuck." He muttered.
"How long?" I asked calmly, "How long have you been fucking someone else?"
He didn't answer right away so I started to get up and walk out, "3 weeks!" he called out and I turned around, "Three weeks?" I asked in disbelief.
"Yeah, but baby... " he tried to make up an excuse
"DON'T 'Baby' me!" I yelled, "I'm not your Fuckin 'Baby'." And with that I threw the pathetic piece of cloth at his head and stormed out of the room and down the hall.
"Jess!" he called out after me "Wait!"
I didn't stop; I raised my arm up high and gave him the finger, a move I hadn't made in a long time. I had forgotten how good it felt. But now I couldn't think about that, I had never felt so betrayed. Even though I didn't even see anything in us, the thought of him cheating on me made my heart feel like it was ripped out and stepped on with spiked baseball cleats. Tears began to cloud my eyes as I ran out of the dormitory and sprinted to the on-campus house I was living in. I ran like my life depended on it, like there was going to be some kind of answer at the house that would finally fix everything that was wrong. But when I got there, the only thing I had was my best friend and a box of double stuffed Oreos.