Senior Slumps

"Wakey, wakey, Jess!" My Mother's cheery voice interrupted my sleep as well
As whatever dreams I was having as she breezed through my bedroom door and
Over to my window.

I mumbled something that was inaudible, even to me and I turned away from
Her, struggling to pull the duvet over my head before she- -

--Pulled apart the curtain, sending a streak of golden California sun
Directly over my bed and directly into my freshly-opened eyes. I groaned and
Blinked wildly, like a bat that had just come out of a cave. I finally
Managed to pull my blanket out from under me and used it to cover my head as
I rolled over again.
"Oh, come on you sloth!" My mother said as she successfully ripped the
Blankets off of me. "It's One O'clock in the afternoon, it's an absolutely
Gorgeous day, and you, my dear, have no reason to still be in bed."
"Not that you know of," I muttered bitterly, but she didn't hear me, she was too busy pulling apart all of the curtains until my room was completely flooded in sunlight.
"You know what we should do today?" she asked as she whisked back to my bed and sat down.
"What?" I said and began getting out bed, giving up any hope of going back to sleep.
"Shopping!" my Mom said excitedly, "Oh, honey that would cheer you up from whatever funk you've been in since you arrived. And there are these cute little boutiques that just opened up on Telegraph Avenue," She began talking faster, planning the next few hours in her head and getting more excited about it, there was no way in hell I was getting out of it now. "You could help me pick out a dress for your cousin Amanda's wedding; it's in April you know. You were invited but I know you'll be back in school then and you really don't know her all that well, plus I know how important school is, and you're so close to graduation!" She smiled and stood up, giving me a hug, "anyway, I'll let you get dressed and ready, and then we'll go, sound good?"
I stood in a stupor and nodded, wondering how these plans were made and finalized so fast without so much as a peep out of me.
"Good!" My mother said and then began walking out the door and downstairs.
All I wanted to do was crawl back into bed and fall asleep. The last place I wanted to be was out in the world. And yet I knew a day like today meant a lot to my Mom, who wanted nothing more then to spend a day bonding and spending time with her daughter who she'd barely seen in three years. I couldn't be selfish, so I pushed all the thoughts of last night out of my mind and grabbed my best pair of jeans off the plush, pink carpet.
*
"Do you like this one or the pink one better?" My Mother asked, giving me a little twirl before turning to face the mirror, smoothing her hands over the black skirt.
"I like that one, it's a little edgy." I said, trying my best to not sound as bored as I actually was. I picked at a piece of lint on my black top.
"Honey!" she laughed, "I'm Forty-Six years old; I'm not necessarily going for edgy." I gave her a small smile that she saw behind her in the mirror. "But if you think so, then I'll get this one." She walked back into the changing room stall poking her head out at the last minute, "You're sure?"
"Yes," I nodded. She vanished from sight and I sat on the rock-hard dressing room chair as I waited for her to change back into her clothes. I sighed impatiently and looked out the window at the street. "Hey Mom?"
"Yeah sweetie?" she called out.
"I'm going to wait outside while you buy that, Ok?"
"Alright honey. Just be careful, there are some real freaks out there."
I rolled my eyes and walked out through the glass doors and onto the sunny sidewalk. I took a deep breath of city air and walked over to a nearby bench, sat down and turned my face toward the sun, closing my eyes.
I listened to all of the familiar sounds of Telegraph Ave, the sound of skateboard wheels whizzing past and the laughter that rang out from all of the alleyways that separated the different stores. I could hear the clicking of high heels as the walked down the concrete walkways and the desperate voices of the many homeless teenagers that asked for money as they walked by. Somebody down the street was playing guitar and singing a cheery song, most likely with his guitar case open in front of him, hoping to reel in a few extra bucks today.
I opened my eyes and sat up, hugging my sweatshirt closer to me. Even though Californian winter is nothing compared to back In New England, I couldn't help but feel suddenly cold and lonely as hundreds of memories from this same Avenue flooded back into my mind. I sat there for a minute, wondering what it was that was taking my Mother so freaking long to buy a dress, when I heard a voice. It wasn't just any voice, it was unmistakably His voice. I looked up the street, squinting so I could see farther away in the glaring sunlight. Sure enough Billie Joe was walking down the Ave with pudgy guy who was a tad shorter than him but looked to be the same age. And they were headed in my direction.
I panicked. If he saw me it would be incredibly awkward and I knew it. I searched frantically around for something to hide in, behind, or under. When he was about 4 yards away I made up my mind and dove behind a black Mercedes that was parallel parked along the sidewalk. I crouched behind the passenger side as he walked by, peeking slightly through the car windows as the two men passed. When he passed by the car Billie Joe shot a confused look toward the vehicle and then shook his head. The man beside him didn't noticed a thing and kept telling a story that I was pretty sure involved Clown School both of them laughing as they turned a corner and walked out of view.
"Shit," I muttered to myself as I sank toward the pavement. 'He had to have seen me, ' I thought.
"Umm Jessie?" A voice came from behind me; I whirled around to see my Mother standing, two bags in her hands and an odd look on her face, "What are you doing?"
"Oh nothing!" I scrambled to my feet, "Just um, checking out this car, I like the um, interior. Are you done?" I changed the subject and pointed to the bags in her hands.
"Yeah, I decided to get both of the dresses, just in case." She smiled, "Let's go, I'm hungry."
I nodded, ignoring the sick feeling in my stomach, "Yeah me too" I lied.
*
It wasn't until ten O'clock that we finally got home that night, and when we did there was a message for me waiting on the answering machine.
"He Called!" Anastasia's voice came excitedly out of the black answering machine, "Oh Jess, Mike really did call and we're going out tomorrow night! I can't wait, He's taking me to see this band up in Sulfured that he said I'd really like." She let out a squeal of delight before continuing. "We have to go to his bands' next gig at Gilman, he said that he's in a band called Squirt Gun, and they're supposed to be alright and he plays bass in this other band called Green Day and they apparently are huge. I don't know, I've never really been to one of their shows but I've heard of them. But anyway, you have to call me back or I will kill you!"
She finished her message and I waited for the click that indicated that she had hung up. I did what any good friend would do and called her back. Afterward, I smiled to myself; of all the Mike's in the world Ana just happened to hit it off with the one and only Mike Dirnt. From what I recalled, Mike was a complete sweetheart; he just partied a little too hard sometimes. But he was nothing that Anastasia Baldwin couldn't handle, and I couldn't have been more happy that they had ended up together.
"I'm going to bed, Mom." I called as I began my way up the stairs, happy with Ana's love life, but far too tired to even think about my own. "Good night,"
"Oh, Sweet dreams sweetie," she called back "Thanks for spending time with me today."
I smiled, glad that today really did make her happy. "No problem, it was fun." I wasn't sure if I had lied or not but either way I continued up the stairs and down the hall until I collapsed on my bed.
*
"Jessica, Honey!" My Mom said as she peered into my dark bedroom, I stirred slightly.
"What?" I murmured, sitting up a little and rubbing my eyes.
"Well," she put her hand on her hip, "Its two O'clock in the afternoon, number one, and number two, you have a visitor downstairs."
"Huh?" I asked but she had vanished from the door and was walking down the stairs. I heard her mumble some words and a male voice answer her. I ran my hand through my hair and tried to wake up a little more as I walked to the stairs. I began down the steep staircase, wondering who the hell had come to see me. I stopped suddenly in the middle of the staircase, and my stomach suddenly lurched and tied itself into a million knots when I saw who was standing in the foyer below.
It was Billie Joe.
He had his hands shoved deep into his jacket pockets and looked completely out of place in my massive front room. When he saw me reach the bottom of the stairs he gave me a small smile and ran a hand through his brown dread locks.
"Hey, umm, can I talk to you, alone?" he asked nervously, eyeing where my Mother was standing in the next room over.
"Um, yeah, C'mon." I gestured toward the living room and when we were inside I shut the door so my mom couldn't snoop in on what we were saying.
"What's up?" I asked, trying to sound normal even though I felt like I was going to be sick.
"I'm just going to cut to the chase," he said, more toward himself then to me. He looked me in the eyes and took a deep breath, "I think we should fuck."
I whipped around to make sure no one was in earshot "Excuse me?"
Billie Joe shook his head "No I don't mean it like that, what I mean is," he sighed, frustrated with himself. He scratched the back of his head as he continued. "Look, there's obviously a lot of tension between us, a lot of feelings. And I think that the only way that we can both, be truly happy and comfortable is to find out if those feelings actually lead somewhere." He said softly, finishing with a shrug as he shoved his hands back into his pockets and looked down at the carpet, waiting for me to lay into him and then kick him the hell out of my house.
I looked at him, the Billie Joe that I had known since I was 16. The Billie Joe that I had given my heart to only to have it given back to me. The Billie Joe that part of me was still completely in love with. I thought about what he had said and when I had finally made up my mind I lifted his chin so he was looking at me and smiled.
"How about we go and get something to eat first?"