Janice No More

**Katherine**

Another nightmare. Same situation as the night before only this person wasn't Tanner. It was the leader. The king of the Kareptons. I never saw his face, but he killed them. He killed Tanner, Eric, Roland, and Skylar. It hurt so much to watch. I couldn't even hear the baby crying in my arms.

"So Katherine," his similar demonic voice asked. "Which one gave you more pain?"

I couldn't answer. I was busy screaming in between sobs and breaths until I was crumpled on the floor clinging to the baby for dear life.

He grabbed me by my left wrist holding me in mid-air shaking me, growling.

"Answer me!" he screamed.

"Katherine?" Eric began to call for me. I couldn't see him. I was just trying to get out of his hold.

"Get away! Get away from me and my baby!" I screamed. I could finally see. I woke up with tears on my face, sweat on my chest and my forehead, and my hands pinned above me to the pillows by Eric and Tanner.

"It's happening again." Eric whispered. Tanner looked at him and his eyes grew wide.

"What?" I asked blurry-eyed reaching for any part of him. Just to reassure him that I'm safe and that I love him. Finally I was touching a pair of familiar lips. I wiped my other hand over my eyes and saw Eric. "What's happening again?"

"What happened in Russia." I twitched before he even said Russia.

"It's happening again?" I said furiously, but I still sounded weak and scared. I remembered the blood that tainted my hands. Human. And Eric's. "No." I muttered backing up to my bed gripping onto the covers. "No. No! I won't let that happen again!" I closed my eyes sobbing, trying as hard as I could to not think about anything. I felt an arm touch my shoulder. That set me off. Whoever it was, they were going to be attacked by me.

"Yes. Finally!" the demonic voice screamed.

"No. No. No!" I screamed. My eyes flashed open and I backed away into the bed. It was Joanna who touched me. I would've killed my own sister. I jumped onto the covers and held on tightly to the mattress. "I won't hurt anyone again. Except the Kareptons." I was merely rambling now. I was going crazy. I opened my eyes.

Tanner and Eric started walking closer. I growled softly still holding onto the mattress trying not to attack them. I would lose against Eric in a normal battle, but now I was a savage. Tanner stopped watching me nervously and carefully worried, but Eric... kept coming closer. I gritted my teeth and started to think of my baby. I felt myself become calmer, only very slowly.

"Katherine." Eric's voice seemed to help the soothing of my anger. I didn't know where he was but he was close. "You won't do it again. I promise." his hand started to slowly and cautiously hold my hand. Terrified and quiet gasps filled the room.

My first instinct was to jump him and suck his blood dry then start on the others. I didn't want to do this, and I don't know why I wanted to do this. Someone would be pleased about that. These are people I love. I kept reminding myself that I loved these people and I couldn't hurt them. I just couldn't. I can't.

After a long moment of getting myself together I opened my eyes and saw Eric sitting next to me showing no fear. It seemed easier then to breathe and look at everyone. Joanna started to walk to us easily trying not to set me off. When she finally reached the bed I gave her a hug whispering to her that I was sorry for nearly attacking her. She said that she understood. Nathaniel sat on the floor next to her watching me. He and I may be friends, but he didn't trust me with the love of his life. I did understand.

I turned back to Eric. "I don't want to be a monster. I don't want to hurt you again." I grabbed his hands and held them between us. "I promise I won't. Not to you." I smiled lightly then trailed my eyes to each face in the room. "Not to any of you. I promise."

"Even if you don't keep it, it won't matter. We all love you no matter what you do to us." I smiled feeling my anger and my wants to kill evaporate. "I think we should let you get dressed and have a few minutes alone." he stood up.

"Wait." I whispered. "I want to talk to you. Alone."

"Okay. First get dressed then tell me to come back in. We'll talk then." he kissed my forehead, breathing cool air against my hot skin.

When everyone was gone I found a note on my dufflebag. It was written in neat black script. "We have practice today, so get a comfortable outfit because we'll be working for a long time. Don't worry. We will pin you to the ground if you try to kill anyone. Love, Roland." Great. My muscels have grown stronger maybe it won't be all that bad. I put on some deoderant and pulled my hair up into a ponytail before I looked for clothes. I stripped down to my underwear and stifled through my bag for that outfit I wore last time for practice.

When I was dressed I cracked the door open and asked Eric to come in, so we could talk. He came in leaving the others behind. Before I shut the door I said, "Guys, go ahead. We just need to talk. We'll meet you down there." After they were all gone I closed the door behind me and brought my eyes back to Eric who waited patiently.

"So what did you want to talk about?" he asked.

I ran to him and embraced him crying tearlessly. "It's so hard." I wailed, trying to keep my voice down. "It's so hard to be under all this pressure. With defeating the Kareptons and you. I just don't know how much more I can take. Because I'm going to have to break your heart or someone else's, and I don't want to." I took a breath ready to start again. I needed to get all this out of me. But before I could continue his index finger was on my mouth.

"I know it's hard for you. I'm sorry. I really truly am, but this is what must happen."

"Why does it have to?" I asked still sobbing.

"It's your destiny." his voice was pained. He wanted to be as angry and sad as I was, but he had to be strong for both of us.

My voice softened. "I'm sorry. For everything." I pressed myself harder to him trying to keep him safe and stop his hurt.

He didn't say anything. He simply held me. It felt so right. We were like two puzzle pieces that fit together perfectly. But there were two others that seemed the same way. Why couldn't they just morph together to be all the things I love? I just wanted one person to love. I didn't want all this confusion and anger in my life. I guess reality, no matter how fake it seems, is a bitch.

"I love you." Eric said suddenly.

"I know. I love you, too." I replied. I brought my eyes to his, facing him. I do love him and he loves me. Why can't it be that simple? The answer popped into my brain. Love is complicated.

"I know." he said. He kissed me and kept his lips on mine for a few moments. His kisses were as sweet as he was to me. He just knows me so well. He knows when I want to be left alone, when I want to be comforted, and when I am sad. But he can't read my mind.

"I wish love was simple." I whispered in between kisses.

"Love is never simple." he pulled back. "There are always complications." he paused and gave me one last kiss. "We shhould get down to the basement."

I groaned.

"What?" he asked.

"Why do we always have to practice in a basement?" I questioned.

He laughed. "I guess, that was all that was left." I smiled as we left the room down the stairs while I followed him blindly to down the stairs to a big metal door a few rooms away from the foyer. We faced a huge gray metal door that was covered in locks. I gazed up at Eric confused. He smiled.

"This is just a cover up." he said. He turned the knob and the door opened with no trouble. Odd. This castle has lots of secrets.

"How many other secrets are there in this place?"

He smirked as we started down the candle lit hallway. "Plenty."

"Will I see them all?"

"You already have, but I'd love to show you again. Tonight after practice?" It felt like he was asking me on a first date.... I liked that.

"Yeah. If I don't faint." I joked.

"I'll carry you." He answered simply.

I laughed as we neared the end of the hallway taking a turn through an arch. When we entered the arch my mouth popped open into an "O".

The whole basement looked like a boot camp/YMCA that you would see army buffs working out in. There were rock climbing walls, dueling arena, and other things to help us train for the war that relied on me. I trailed my eyes across the basement again and saw an area in the far corner where the 'gifted' vampires must have gone to practice their talents on - what appeared as - rabbits and smaller animals. I immediately felt sorry for the poor creatures and was unconsciously moving toward the vampires to stop them. Eric grabbed my arm pulling me back against him. He looked at me sternly slowly shaking his head.

"Why are they doing it on them?" I asked, near tears.

"They are just animals, love. They are already dead when we find them. Some are alive because of the vampires that can heal, revive, or kill with a simple touch, but only if they want to." He informed.

"You'll need to explain everything about this world you haven't told me. I feel so stupid all the time. Promise you'll talk to me about it tonight."

He nodded.

"So what am I doing first?" I asked nearly petrified looking around the room again.

He chuckled. "Whichever you want. Just talk to the general over there at rock climbing walls. He'll give you a routine to follow." He started to turn away.

"Where are you going?" I asked gripping his hand.

"I need to practice with my group and help tutor some new recruits." He kissed my forehead. "Good luck."

"Good luck to you, too." I whispered as he sped away to the dueling arenas.

I turned toward the rock climbers that were ascended above me and walked up to the general that looked very bulky with his large muscles popping out of his T-shirt and jeans. He was disciplining a recruit who had immaturely pulled a rope, dragging the person attached to the hard ground face first. Ouch.

"You will be in a war with the Kareptons, and you will have only each other to rely on! You can't be so reckless! If you continue to be so reckless, you might end up killing yourself or your comrades!" He lectured. No one bothered to watch. My guess, this was a normal thing.

"Excuse me." I said politely to the general.

He turned to me for a second and muttered. "Hang on." He started to continue his lecture, but he went rigid and slowly brought his face back to me.

I waved with a small smile. He grinned crookedly with apology in his eyes.

"Miss Sinclair!" He exclaimed. His eyes widened. "I'm sorry for being so rude."

"Oh, not you, too!" I groaned. "You guys don't have to give me special treatment. I am just like you. I may have a destiny," I emphasized the word destiny sarcastically, "but I am a normal person. So to speak." I added.

He stared with mouth open and eyes wide.

"What?" I questioned looking at the mens' faces around me. Where were the women? I asked myself angrily. "I'm not some spoiled diva royal brat." They continued to stare. "Now what am I supposed to do?" I asked.

His mouth started to sputter, but, eventually, he got out a sentence.

"Well, first, you have some rock clmbing to do." He pointed above me.

"Freehand?" I askd excited. I've always wanted to do something like this.

"If you wish." He answered.

I stared at him. "Don't give me royal treatment. Am I supposed to?"

"Yes. You're experienced, but these other imbesiles around me aren't." I chuckled and felt anger and embarrassment come from the men around me. All of it angled to the general.

"And what's your name?" I asked stretching my legs.

"General Kale." he answered and I thought of the asshole from the council.

"Oh, are you his...?"

"Son? Yes. You ready?"

"Yeah." I smiled excitedly. "So I just have to reach the top?"

"Under a minute." a boy's voice added.

"Oh, boy." I muttered.

"Begin." General Kale said.

I ran and jumped onto the wall grabbing the rocks. I wouldn't get seriously hurt if I fell, so I had nothing to worry about. I pulled myself up with my hands as I reached for the next rock. Rock after rock I felt the burn in my arms. I looked up while sweat dripped off my face. How do vampires sweat? I screamed mentally. I felt so weak. Not physically, at the moment, but I felt I was a disappointment. I can improve, but I have to hurry if I want to defeat them. I focused mostly on where my hands were at, so I nearly fell when I hit my head against the rocky ceiling.

I heard a few claps and cheers come from below. I tried to find General Kale's face that was so far away.

"How long?" I asked hearing it echo through the room.

"Thirty point two-five seconds. It could be improved, though."

I began to climb doown as fast as I could. My foot slipped off a rock a few times. When I reached the floor I asked the general a question.

"What's the best time?" I gasped, high-fiving the guys that held their hand up.

"Four point five seconds at human speed or close to it anyway. Vampire speed, however.... is zero point twenty-two." I cringed. No way would I beat that. "That record was set by the fastest vampire in history, so you don't have to feel like you should prove something." i smiled embarrassed when a guy threw me a water bottle. I recognized some people that had come over. Some of the vampires I met at the hotel only a few days ago. It felt like weeks or months.

I said hi to everyone, but I had to get back to the routine. I didn't want to be a slacker.

"Okay, first," The second trainer of the 'gifted' vampires area started. This general was a woman, "we need to find out if you hold any special powers now that you're a vampire again. You might have a new power, so let's see if you do." I recognized the woman. The hate-filled crimson eyes belonged to the council member that didn't believe in me.

"How are you going to find out?"

"Well, I have that power. I can sense if someone has a gift, but I can't tell what it is or what area it belongs in. But when I sense a strong strength inside you or around you then you have a gift. If not, then you're a normal vampire, so let's hope." she finished smoothly. It almost sounded like a lie. I definitely did not want to let anyone down or let them think I can't do something. She reached her long pale fingers to my temples, rubbing in circular motions closing her eyes. It felt.... sleep inducing and very relaxing. My eyes started to shut, too, and all I saw was an amazon.... it made me feel alone. I snapped out of it.

"What the hell?" I exclaimed pulling my head away from her hands as my eyes opened back up to the real world. Her hands were still on my temples.

She grunted in frustration. "You can't be thwarted by the blindness power I possess.... impressive. Next." she said stiffly as she stood and walked away. She was lying.... just to calm me. That bitch.

Roland took her place.

"Hello, love." Roland greeted. "My turn." He whispered exultantly.

"What are you going to do?" I asked nervously when he gripped my hands.

"Sorry, but I will have to do some of my own very dangerous and strong powers, so I apologize if I hurt you. Understand?" I nodded and his hands that were entwined with mine became hotter. I cringed at the pain, but I couldn't release my hands. Soon his hands were fire, and my hands were being burned.

I tried not to scream while I tried to find some way to get rid of the fire, but a soft scream pierced through my lips. I saw Roland's eyes turn sorrowful and his whispers of apologies. I could hear the angry whispers of Eric's berserk anger and despair come from him.

I couldn't take the pain anymore, I shrieked like a banshee.... and then Roland's firm hands on mine were gone. I looked up and saw him rammed into the wall just behind him. I didn't see anyone do it. He slumped to the ground and was sitting still absolutely shocked. I rushed over to him with his bodyguards right behind me, surrounding us.

"Are you okay? Did I do that?" I asked him bringing his face up to mine. He gave me a peck on the lips.

"Yes you did. I am so proud of you!" he proclaimed.

"You're proud I threw you against a wall without moving my hands?" I asked not-so-proud of myself.

"Yes." He said like he was insulted by my reaction.

"Why?"

"Because that means you have mental poweres that can hurl a person through the air and not be able to block it. God, I love you!"

He kissed me again. He stood up against the wall and narrowed his eyes while Tanner and Eric ran over to us pushing the bodyguards aside.

Eric pulled me into his arms and hugged me while kissing my hair. He looked at my hands with worry, but his worry disappeared when he saw the burns were no longer there. Tanner was about to hug me next, but Priscilla jumped in before him with giggles absolutely excited as she said how cool it was that she wasn't the only freak with mental powers. I giggled with her and smiled as everyone made a big deal out of me throwing a vampire into a wall. I guess it was something since he was supposed to be the most powerful vampire in our world. I smiled harder as Tanner criticized his good friend, Roland, about getting beat up by a girl.

"I'll let her beat me up anytime, old friend. If you know what I mean." I pretended not to hear that or see Tanner's surprised face.

"Well, how do you know she'll choose you?" he asked, making a point. I didn't even know. I had another boy's heart to break. What was I supposed to do? Which one will find another woman and which one will die? Most importantly, who will be mine?

I frowned. I walked away from the large group of people and sat in a corner with my knees propped up leaning my elbow against my knee, my hand to my neck while I closed my eyes thinking of nothing. I opened my eyes when I felt Priscilla sitting next to me looking so beautiful and graceful in her simple skin-clinging gray tank top and jeans. I pouted while she tried to comfort me.

"I know it must be hard especially since you're such a pushover, but you'll have to choose amongst them eventually," I stared at her angrily for that comment, but she continued, "but that doesn't mean you have to hate yourself for that. You are lucky to have someon that loves you. Three guys in fact! A lot of the girls here hate you for that, so don't give them the satisfaction of hating yourself and granting their wish now."

"Thanks for the pep talk, Priscilla."

"No problem."

"But it will get harder later, so shouldn't I..."

She cupped her hand over my mouth and sighed laughing.

"Will you just shut up and get back to practice?" she release her hand and hit my nose with her finger playfully. She stood and lifted me up by my arm.

"Fine." I groaned while Skylar walked over.

"Hey guys. Why are they making a big deal out of you throwing Roland..."

I shrugged. Priscilla waved goodbye to me and held Skylar's hand as they walked away. I was happy for them but envious, too. They only have each other.... I have three others and myself. Great.

After a few other gifted vampires tried their powers on me, the day was over and night had come. They said they learned I had several extraordinary powers.... I wasn't afraid of talking abou these things because I haven't heard that other voice in my head for a while.

I had a few mental powers including a mild healing power like fixing a broken finger, the throwing-a-person-across-the-room-with-a-thought-thing, and a power that blocks out powers, not all, but enough. It was a fun day, I guess.

"I believe we have a date." Eric whispered to me after I took a shower and changed into a more comfortable outfit like jeans and a nice T-shirt. He was dressed the same way. He brushed the back of his hand against my cheek playing with my hair.

I smiled. "I believe so." He kissed me and took my hand as we walked through the halls sneaky-like.

"Um... why are we being so sneaky?" I whispered when he silently stalked up the staircase with me tagging along.

"Because we are supposed to be resting and taking this time seriously, but I think we've had enough seriousness for a while." He smiled and picked me up in his arms when we reached a large glass window next to the round staircase we were climbing. I giggled quietly as he ran quickly up the stairs. Everything around us blurred together like when you're in a car and you are going really fast, only I'm in a tank's embrace. Someone that can't be destroyed as easily.

He stopped and we were in a bright beautiful room. The walls and floors were a dark gray stone, the room was practically empty except the extravagant large and wide couch that looked like a bed with large pillows and a silk blanket by the even larger window with long blood red curtains draped around it, and a small coffee table in front of the couch with candles and my favorite flowers, red lilies. I gasped as I took it all in. It was the most romantic setting I've seen in a long time.

"You remember?" Eric asked standing closer to me leaning his head to my neck wrapping his arms around me.

"Remember what?" I asked trying to concentrate when he kissed my neck making my mind mushy.

I could feel him smile against my neck. "Think about how I have it set... do you remember now?"

I thought about it and I realized something that brought a memory of us on the same couch.... kissing.... breathing heavily.... and us saying I love you to each other.... and clothes disappearing.

I smiled and I could tell he knew.

"I remember." I whispered. I did remember everything. Everything about that night...

"Do you remember this?" He said pulling away. I turned around and he was on one knee with a ring in his hand.

"Oh, my God..." I whispered.

"I love you, Katherine, and I don't care how many other men you love or care for. I would die for you. I've looked for you for decades, fearing you were dead... And when I saw you at that mall in Chicago looking the same way I remember you... you have no idea how much strength it took me not to simply run up to you and kiss you. You saw me, but you didn't recognize me. that nearly crushed me... I didn't know how you got in the United States, but even though you didn't remember me I was so happy that you were alive.

"When I told Joanna she cried with joy. You learned to love me... because something in you remembered me. When you first kissed me at the hotel... I knew I couldn't and wouldn't go another without you by my side. So I am asking you to remember me when you have to make that choice and remember how much I love you and that I want to marry you. So, Katherine Octavia Sinclair.... will you take this ring and promise me you will remember me when you have to make that choice?"