Lost My Way, Lost the Light

It's a new day. I'm out on my lawn as usual. Sitting on a blanket, I lie on my back and stare up towards the sky. It could fall, and I'd never know. It could be green, or purple, and I'd never know.

Then again, I do know when it's going to rain. Even the day before. I can always make out what the weather is going to be. My parents have, in the past, been proven that I can tell the weather better than the people on the News Channels. I don't know why or how, but I can- I'm guessing, however, that it comes from that night.

The accident.

I sit up, frustrated with myself.

I'm so sick of everything. Being stuck here, chained practically to my home. Sick of being around my parents. Sick of staying here. Sick of doing nothing with my life. Sick of being blind. Sick of living, I guess.

I run my hands through my hair, a habit of mine when I'm frustrated with something. It happens often, I suppose, but I don't dwell on that.

Sighing I rest my other hand on Teagan who whines a little at me, recognizing my restlessness. But there's no way I can help her. Heck, I can't even help myself, and that's where the problem is.

Right?

Oh, I don't care. It doesn't really matter. In fact, nothing does. Why? Because... well, I can't find a very solid reason, I suppose. But why do I need one? It's pretty simple, after all that I've said and everything so far.

All of this? Yeah, this world?

It just sucks. I'm so sick of it.

However, I'm too much of a wimp and coward to do anything else about it. So I make myself sick. Yippee.

"Maisey, love?"

I bring my head up a little, to show her that I've heard her. She opens the screen door from behind me to talk a little better. "Why don't you go to the library, hun? You can get some audio books. They have those special sound proof rooms, where you could then listen to the stories. Go out and do something, dear."

I am out. I am doing something.

"Maisey, it doesn't have to be all day. Just for an hour, please," she adds the word but she doesn't really mean it. She rarely does. She just wants me to do something and not be a 'slug' the entire day. Or, persay, the rest of my entire life.

Yet why not? Nothing's ever going to happen. It never will, I just know it.

"Fine," I finally relent with a sigh, and carefully pick myself up.

Slowly, I fold the blanket and Teagan leads me inside. It's sort of nice, I realize, being able to walk around and not have to stumble over everything- she always tells me when there are steps ahead, or a wall, or anything and everything.

"Thank you," mother murmurs and takes the quilt from my arms. "And here's your jacket and a scarf. I put your wallet in your right pocket, understand? Your old library card is in there. Do you recall where the building is? It's just a few blocks off from that cafe you enjoy going to."

"Straight past it," I give a small nod, speaking low. "I know, mother." The clothing is put in my arms and I shuffle into my black peacoat, and the scarf feels like my gray one. Today, though, I happen to be wearing a dark green dress. Mother said, when we bought it, it was the color that my eyes once had been.

Once were...