Lost My Way, Lost the Light

The pain is gone the following morning, to my relief. I hit my alarm and it shouts out, "8:57" so I figure I should probably be getting up. Slowly I move around, reaching my drawers and I begin selecting a light short skirt and a long-sleeved shirt, probably in dark blue.

Teagan clambers around as I brush my hair, and nudges my knee which tells me she's hungry now. She can get her own food, but we have yet to find a device that lets her open the door, and I like the door being shut. But it doesn't really bother me, I suppose.

"Morning, dear."

"Mhmm."

"Did you sleep well?"

"I suppose. You?"

"Very well, thank you. Here's some toast and jam." The light clattering tells me they are in front of me and I carefully pick them up with a slight nod in thanks. "Taste good?"

"Yes, thank you," I murmur with a light sigh, slightly annoyed with the stern manners going on at the moment.

"What are you up to today?"

"Nothing, I suppose."

"You should spend your time wisely. Would you like to find a tutor for college classes, perhaps? Maybe find some programs that work for people like you. Maybe even a job, dear."

"Maybe," I echo her word and frown at her wording. "Thank you." I step out of my chair quickly and taking Teagan, I hurriedly leave out to my swing.

People like me.

Lovely mother, thank you for categorizing me, like I'm an alien. I really do appreciate it.

It's some college students, working on their poetry readings this evening when I arrive. Taking my coffee, I find my usual seat and I brought Teagan's chew bone with us, so she isn't too bored, either.

I also bring a book to read. Jane Eyre, in braille.

I'm having a hard time concentrating on anything- my coffee, the poetry readings, and my story. I don't know why, but every now and then I suddenly feel antsy, like something is missing or expecting or... not here.

"Hello?"

The friendly voice comes seconds after T taps her nose on my calf.

But I hadn't thought it would be the same voice. I know the voice, of course, because it's the only way I can know people. I've worked on learning and picking up the differences between them for the past several years.

I glance up, pushing my sunglasses up a little more. They aren't very dark sunglasses, or so I'm told, but enough to hide the truth. And that's all I need.

"Hello," I echo tonelessly.

"Might I sit with you?"

"I suppose," I incline my head slightly. I hear the screeching of the chair as Teagan sits up, paying attention to everything that happens now.

"I missed you last night," He says after a minute of silence. I don't say anything, so he figures it is okay to continue talking. "Where were you, if you don't mind my asking?"

"Home," I shrug, sipping my coffee. "I was at home."

"I see. So you're a regular here, it seems. Why?" The table shifts a little as he puts his elbows on the table, probably leaning his face on them to listen to me.

"It's a nice atmosphere," my eyes wander and I keep imagining what it might look like, if I weren't so cursed. "So I come."

"What, is it not enough at home?" He jokes lightly.

I shrug and start to stand. "I should be going. It's late."

"I'll walk you," he offers as he stands.

"With a stranger? That's not any safer. No thank you," I shake my head.

"Well, we've spoken before," he tries a little. "If it helps, my name is Tristan, and I'm from England."

"Lovely," I nod my head slightly for him and start to pass with Teagan.

"Wait, please," he calls as he follows me out the door.

I pause, wondering if I shouldn't have just remembered I hadn't heard. "Can't I know your name?" He calls hopefully from those yards back next to the shop. "Just your first. Please."

I contemplate it for a minute, then turn a little, so he can see me better. I hesitate, but I realize there can't be harm to is. "Maisey. My name is Maisey." Swallowing, I turn back with my friend Teagan and we begin walking away.

"Good night, Maisey!" He shouts.

As I walk, a small smile slips on my lips and I'm not sure why.