Holding On

The second we entered Jimmy's house I saw Val running toward me and I was wrapped in a hug. I felt her crying and I wrapped my arms around her trying to calm her down. I didn't know what happened there, all I knew was that Leana called Jimmy and told him to get home as quick as possible so all of us, me, Brian, Zacky and Jimmy, drove back to his house.

Jimmy went to talk to Leana as Val just kept on crying. I didn't ask her what happened, I didn't want to make things worse, but it was killing me to see her like that. She was like a sister to me and I hated seeing her sad.

Few minutes later Jimmy came to us and put his arm on Val, taking her with him. I kissed her forehead and let go of her. I went over to Brian and Zacky to check if they knew what it was all about. Brian nodded and whispered, "Matt and her broke up". I felt so bad for her at that moment; they've been together for forever it must hurt as hell for the both of them! I wanted to get more details but Brian explained me that later he will tell me and then Jimmy came back and told us to come back to the car.

We got into the car; Jimmy was driving, Brian sat next to him and Zacky and I were in the backseat. Soon after, we were at Matt's house. Quickly we all got off the car and walked toward the door. Jimmy knocked but there was no answer. "I guess he's not home" he said confused. Brian then opened the door, we all went inside and looked around; he was nowhere to be found. Jimmy started going upstairs and we followed him; I had no idea why we need to find him but I didn't really think of it at the moment.

"He's just not here" Jimmy said after we locked through all the rooms of the second floor. "What's the big deal of finding him?" Zacky asked the exact thing I wanted to. "The thing is…" he started saying when we heard something. "Did you guys hear that?" Brian we all looked at him trying to listen. "I smell…" I started trying to recognize the smell that was coming from downstairs all of the sudden "Cigarette!" I shouted when I recognized the smell. Soon I received a hit behind the head from Brian.

Jimmy started going downstairs as there was a voice coming from there; Matt obviously. We all followed him again; I was the last down to get there. When I got there Jimmy was hugging Matt as me, along with Zacky and Brian, went to sit on the couches. "We're sorry, man" Jimmy told Matt and then sat between Brian and me while explaining Matt the reason we're here.

"Thanks for thinking of me but I'd really rather just…to be alone now" Matt said; I've never seen him like this he seems so…broken. Poor guy, it must be hard for him. Honestly I don't think I've ever experienced such big love as he and Val shared, I feel really bad for them two. What on hell can cause them to break up?

"Well…we're not here just for that" I heard Brian saying and quickly looked at him. I had no damn idea why else we would be here. As soon as I opened my mouth to ask Jimmy looked at me and I figured it would be better to shut up.

"Why did you can Val break up?" Jimmy asked Matt. I was sure he knew! I mean, he talked to Val, she must have told him. Matt was out of words, he tried to say something but it just didn't come out as words. I looked at Zacky; he seemed just as confused as I was. Matt looked surprised. Jimmy and Brian…they looked like they were up to something.

"Did you-" Brian coughed "-cheat on her or something?" he asked and right away got an answer. "No!" Matt's voice shouted. "Well… she thinks you did. She thinks you just found someone else to replace her" Brian said. At that moment I wanted to go back to Jimmy's house and hug her. Now I understand why she ran to me like that, her heart must be broken! And Matt…he looked like just the thought of him cheating on her was killing him. What was his reason to breakup with her, then? Or maybe…did she leave him because of that? What made her think that?

"But he didn't" Jimmy's voice made me get out of my thoughts and wait for the conversation, if that's what it was, to go on so maybe I could get some answers. Jimmy got up of the couch and sat on the table next to Matt, placing an arm on his shoulder. "Listen, bro', that night when we got back home from touring, remember?" he started saying and got both mine and Zacky's attention. But then he just told the story we both knew already of how he found Matt that night. He used to keep it as secret from him, for reasons I've never understood, why is he telling him that now? What does it have to do with Val? Is he an idiot? I mean, Matt is obviously having some hard time now and telling him that is not any help!

When Jimmy got to the part where he described how he found him, he looked so weird and different than usual. I've never realized how much it affected him to see Matt like that. I think the thing was about seeing anything like that, not only Matt. It is not a pleasant sight, but Jimmy had seen so much in his life that I never took the time to think of how he feels about that.

"Thanks for telling me" Matt said and smiled after Jimmy finished his story; his smile seemed weird, not the usual happy one. "I really appreciate it" he said and then there was a silence. Neither me nor Zacky dared saying anything; we just waited to see what happens.

After a minute Brian coughed to get attention. ", what…why, like… What happened with you and Val today?" I still didn't catch up on what was going on so I was just listening to see what happens. "Listen man, we know something is up with you-" I heard Jimmy saying. Do we, really? "-but we have no goddamn idea what. Lots of weird stuff happened with you lately, so well you know we're here if you want to talk to anybody, alright?" Matt just nodded as an answer. I looked at Zacky again and tried to see if he knows what they are talking about but again he seemed just as lost as I was.

Brian and Jimmy kept exchanging looks for a few minutes and then all of the sudden Brian asked another question, "What are you". Jimmy glared at Brian who didn't seem to care. I would never go on and keep talking if he looked at me like that! "Just tell us what the fuck is up with you, I bet it's not as bad as we already think" What the hell? What are they thinking, what is happening; am I the only one who doesn't know that something happens? But then again, Zacky seemed out of place as well. Okay what the fuck is going on?

"What-" Matt said, his voice sounded weird. He coughed and continued "-what do you mean?" he asked as he was hiding something. At this point I quitted trying and figuring out anything and just waited for them to say it.

"What he is trying to say is that we've been friends for a very long time and you can trust us with anything" Jimmy said with a smile.

"Well, again, thanks but it's really something I gotta do on my own, you know?" Matt said and sounded like he just wanted us to be gone.

"Man we love you and shit but there are two options; either you are telling us everything now or we will just ask you questions until we figure it all out by ourselves" Brian said with a smirk. I sensed that something bad is happening but couldn't even know what. I was just so confused about…everything! I had no idea what is going on around me. Are they idiots? Why are they attacking him when he is like that? And what the hell is happening; why did Matt and Val break up? Why is Jimmy and Brian acting weird? What on fuck is Matt hiding?

"Example for a question I could ask is why your teeth are red right now" I heard Brian asking, I looked at Matt who quickly closed his mouth. He stared shocked at Brian with his eyes widened. Brian just smiled.

"What do you want from me?" Matt asked as he sighed "We just want to know what happens with you, we can help you out you know…just tell us" Jimmy was the one to answer with the same weird smile he had earlier.

"What happens with me? I don't even know, alright? I have no fucking idea what the fuck is wrong with me so how the fuck am I supposed to tell you what's wrong with me?" Matt said, he seemed very annoyed. Right after he did so he got up, grabbed a cigarette and went out over the back yard.

Jimmy and Brian looked at each annoyed. "What was that about?" I finally asked; quickly they both looked at me. "Nothing" Jimmy said with a smile. I didn't bother to ask again or try and make him tell me; I knew he wouldn't.

"Where is Zacky?" I asked when I noticed he wasn't with us anymore. The three of us got up and looked around. Jimmy went over the kitchen, Brian just stayed in his place and I walked over the back yard. I saw through the door Zacky and Matt smoking; I turned around and started walking back to the living room. Wait…what?! Matt is smoking? When the fuck did he got back on that? I feel like I don't know anything anymore.

Jimmy came out of the kitchen confused. "He's smoking outside" I said annoyed. I hated how he doesn't tell me what's going on but I let him know what's up, that's just unfair!

A few minutes later Zacky came back and said that Matt would come in soon.

"Hey" I heard Matt's voice and noticed he was standing between me and Zacky. Zacky smiled but no one said a word for a little while.

"Are you alright?" Jimmy asked eventually. "Yeah I just had a tough day" Matt answered and I felt sorry for him again. I can't even imagine what he is going through. "You should come for a drink with us so you could relax" Jimmy suggested with a smile. I know I was all up for it. "I don't want to go out" Matt answered. No drink for me then, dammit.

"That's cool but we do need to talk" Brian said, making me wonder again what the fuck was happening. After that Matt went to the kitchen and gave us all beers. I was happy to get my drink.

"So now…tell me the reason you are here" Matt randomly asked half an hour later. Brian started mumbling a bunch of stuff but didn't make it into a sentence so Jimmy helped him out; "We just need your help in figuring out some stuff"

"Go ahead" Matt told him and seemed as he already knew what is coming. "We don't really know what…" Jimmy admitted. "I mean, Brian and I think that…well...something but it sounds very stupid and I dunno just…tell us what's up with you, man!"

"Well if you don't know, how am I supposed to know?" Matt asked. Jimmy and Brian didn't seem to have an answer for that but then Brian spoke "Why did you and Val break up?" quickly he got a hit behind the head from Jimmy. For once it wasn't me who gets the slaps!

"Can't tell ya" Matt answered. "What is that red thing on your teeth?" Brian asked. "Can't tell ya" Matt answered again. "Where were you before you got back home?" Brian kept on asking questions. "I can't fucking tell you!" Matt answered, annoyed. "Matt, this is very important; can you give us some answers?" Jimmy asked him with a calmed voice.

"No. I can't" Matt said with anger "Could you just leave me alone?" I tried to tell Jimmy that we should go but before I said anything I heard Brian saying No. We can't. He smiled and Matt just seemed to get pissed off. "So what do you fucking want?!" he yelled at Brian. I took a step back to keep away from the argument and saw Zacky doing the exact same thing. I tried to see in his eyes if he knows anything but obviously he didn't.

"To know the fucking truth? Alright fine. I drink blood. There, I said it. Are you happy now?" I heard Matt shouting. For a few seconds I was just standing there trying to even understand what I've just heard. Before it even hit me he spoke again. "Late at night I love to find a hot chick and make a goddamn hole in her neck, I like to suck the blood out of her. And oh man it tastes good" he smiled. "Sounds sick?" Fuck yeah! "Well there actually nothing wrong with me because that's the exact way I'm supposed to be. You see, I have no idea what I am, I have no idea how or why it happened but that night, when you" he pointed Jimmy whose eyes were wide open, "found me? Apparently that's what happened to me. I became this! I can see in a complete dark, I can hear from the distance, I can grow my goddamn fangs, I crave for blood, I can't stand the sun, I…I am this thing and there is nothing I can do against it" I didn't know if to feel bad for him or to be scared. There was another long awkward silence and then he laughed. "And to be honest, I enjoy it for the most part." Definitely scared, or disguised. This is just surreal, you know? Like…he must be kidding!

"You…" Brian started saying but didn't seem to be able to say anything. "You are kidding, right?" he asked. A smile spread on Matt's face. "I wish" he said and the silence took over again.

"That's…sick" Jimmy said and tried to get over the shock, obviously failing. "I mean…you…are a vampire? Does that even exist?" he said and let a small uncomfortable laugh to escape. A vampire? Seriously? It must be a joke!

"Hmm, I don't really know" Matt said "Maybe, I don't know. I don't melt at the sun or sleep in a grave. But I don't know, maybe I am." He sounded so…serious; too serious. This is real, that's not a joke; that's just so weird.

"You are pale" I finally said something. He turned around; "Oh really? Maybe it's because I wasn't in the goddamn sun in so fucking long?!" he yelled at me; I looked down. I just proved to myself that shutting up is the best thing to do.

"So let me get that right-" Zacky seemed to get over the shock "-you drink people's blood and think of it as of nothing?" Matt nodded. Zacky took some more stepped away from him. "I'm out of here!" he said and started walking over the door.

"What the hell?" Matt asked and Zacky stopped just to answer. "You're sick, you're a vampire! You might drink my own blood! That's just…that's sick, that's insane that's wrong just…sorry but, I…don't want to be a part of this" he said and disappeared.

"So…the red on your teeth is…blood?" Brian asked disgusted. Matt nodded. He closed his eyes and seemed to be thinking for a few seconds. "I'm sorry man" he said and left the house as well.

I was still in a complete shock. I couldn't believe everything that had just happened and everything I've been just told. Matt looked at me; I didn't know what to do. I didn't know if to stay or leave; I didn't know what to say; I didn't know what to think. I felt Jimmy's arm on my shoulder and heard him saying Let's go, John. The look in Matt's eyes…he looked destroyed.

Jimmy started walking toward the door with his arm resting on me; I followed him. It was just easier that I wasn't the one making the decision but Jimmy. It was easier that someone decided for me what to do and how to act. But, was it the right thing to do?