Holding On

Nothing feels better like running around in Central Park with your stupid dog. It makes you feel like an idiot and a kid at the same time. It's amazing how much energy dogs have. Peanut was still running when I stopped, unable to breathe anymore. I sat down on the grass just to be attacked by him, trying to get me to get up and run with him again. My face was licked and Peanut tried to climb on me. Fuck that dog has gone heavy! My stomach was smashed as his back leg land there and then I felt a pressure on my chest. And let me tell you, that hurt. When did my little puppy grow so much?

I rolled over, trying to get him off me, then tried to get the ball out of my pocket so I could throw it for him. Once the ball was in the air I felt a release of weight from my sides and thanked God. Seriously this dog is such a danger. I rubbed my stomach and chest, trying to ease the pain. A minute later I was all good.

Still too tired I just stayed laying on the grass, looking at the sky. The sun was up and blinding but luckily I had my sunglasses on. I sighed. The silence from Peanut trying to get the ball let me time to think. There was so much mess right now with Matt and how it affected everyone. I have no idea who knows and who doesn't. I am not sure if Matt will be alright, he seemed so fucking broken last night. I'm not sure if Val will be alright, I think she's worried about him more than she is about herself; which is bad. I am worried about her. And until yesterday I didn't even realize how it affected other people like Leana! Those two were such good friends, when we were hanging out they always somehow had the best time out of everyone, to levels they'd ignored us all. That's how Jimmy and Val got so close, actually. Leana and Matt ignored their own dates so Val and Jimmy got to talk more and all that stuff.

And Jimmy… Jimmy is an idiot! But I bet that with all that he tries to be so cool and protective over everyone he does miss Matt. How can he not? They have known each other since forever pretty much. I bet Brian and Zacky miss him too, especially Zacky! Matt was the one to get Zacky to know his best friends, without Matt, Zacky would probably still be in failing bands trying to get successful. Speaking of bands, I still have no idea how Avenged Sevenfold is gonna work! I must get those guys to hang out again, I'm sure it'll work everything out and all will be alright. After the guys will see that he really is harmless.

But first, I need to get Leana and Matt together. Poor Leana, she seemed so worried last night, I have to show her that he's alright. Besides, it'll be good for Matt to finally hang out with some friends other than me. He for sure needs company. Then maybe some other day I could somehow manage to put him and the guys at the same bar, some alcohol will have to work out all their problems and everything will be okay. I am sick of not being able to hang out with all of my best friends.

I heard a barking and sat up trying to see what that was all about. Peanut was fighting with some other dog over the ball. I laughed at the sight of a tiny dog barking and scaring Peanut away. I got up and grabbed his strap and went over to him. After a minute of fighting with him I have finally chained him. Taking a deep breathe I started running home, knowing that's the only possible way to 'walk' with him. I swear that he is the only thing that keeps me in fitness when we're off tour. If it wasn't those runs with him I'd be too lazy to go to the gym and do anything of that kind of stuff.

Once we got back home he ran to his water bowl before I could even unchain him. I got myself some water too and then filled his bowl again, giving him a ball while doing that so he wouldn't jump on me. Once both his food and water bowls were filled he was busy emptying the food one and then drinking some more. I just laid down on the couch resting from all the running. I'd have to call Leana later and invite her over, hoping Jimmy would be doing something else and wouldn't come so I could take her over to Matt's. Also, still needs to get rid of all the fucking mess. But I guess I could first order some pizza, that sounds good to me.