I Don't Need You To Save Me

"And how are you going to make me?" Darren inquired. I scowled and then folded my arms.

"I am pretty sure if the whole of this household knew the kind of person you are they would back me up on this one." I pointed out. "Plus, you cant exactly stay here when someone has asked you to leave. Its rude." I reminded him in a patronizing manner.

"Fine then." He replied and held up his hands. "I'll leave, but I'm not going to disappear. Oh no."

"And what is that suppose to mean?" I asked.

"Do you really think I'm going down without a fight?"

"I just punched you twice." Joe reminded him, his face like thunder. "Want to make it three times?"

"Keep your hair on funny boy." Darren frowned and rolled his eyes. I remembered he'd probably be getting some weird kind of kick from this. He walked over to where Joe stood with his arms crossed across his chest.

"Darren, just go." I sighed and shook my head. "You're not proving anything to anyone anymore."

"Just go." I pointed to the door once again and he walked out. Joe followed him with his eyes and then turned back to me.

"I'm going to have to explain to my parents why he's made a swift exit you know." He sighed.

"Can't you just say your the one that had a problem with him?" I half laughed and then shook my head. "Tell them what you think you have to, I don’t really care anymore."

He walked over to me and pulled me into a hug. "I'll think of something, I promise." Joe whispered into my ear and then kissed the top of my head gently. "Go back to pretending to be ill." He grinned and then let go of me before walking out of the room. I watched him walk out of the room before walking over to my bed.

I curled up with a pillow in my lap and brushed my hair back away from my face. I heard the front door slam and confused voices came from downstairs. From where I was sat on my bed I could just see Darren walking away from the house and down the street. He turned his head to look back once, before walking a bit further and climbing into a shiny sports car that looked out of place on the quiet suburban street.

Then I heard someone climbing the stairs and I clutched the pillow tighter in my hands. I looked down at my hands and picked at the tassels round the edges of the pillow. My bedroom door opened and I peaked through the thick curtain that was my hair to see Nick stood staring at me.

“Please tell me Joe hit him!” He asked and came and sat opposite me on my bed. I laughed to myself and nodded.

“Twice, I think.” I replied and brushed my hair back away from my face once again. “And I slapped him once.”

“Thank god!” Nick laughed with me. “At least someone got in there and did it before he ran off.”

I glanced out of the window and then back over at Nick. “Are you disappointed you didn’t get to hit him?” I asked with a sly smile and Nick shook his head.

“No. I’m just glad someone did.” He smiled and then dropped his eyes to his own hands. I ducked my head and tried to see his face properly.

“Whats up?” I asked. When he didn’t reply I frowned and thought for a moment. Then it hit me. “How much is Joe telling them?” I asked quietly.

Nick shrugged. “I don’t know.” He sighed and then looked back up at me. “Remind me again why you don’t want everyone to know?”

“It makes me feel weak.” I confessed. “I’m going to get nothing but sympathetic looks from your whole family now, and I hate that!”

“Is it such a bad thing that people are care about you?” Nick asked me with a slightly hurt tone to his voice. I shook my head and tried to find the right words to say.

“No, its not that.” I sighed. “I’ve just kind of trained myself to look out for myself, so when anyone else comes along and tries to help I don’t know how to react.” Nick frowned and I tried to make it sound less confusing. I couldn’t.

“You don’t seem so bothered when Joe’s being all caring though.” He replied with eyebrow raised.

“That’s different though.” I lowered my head so I was once again looking down at the pillow in my hands.

“Not really.” Nick pointed out. “Look, all I’m saying is that you are practically family in this house, our parents have been friends for years. Its only natural that we’re going to want to protect you, after all that’s why your father sent you here in the first place, in theory.”

“Don’t.” I groaned. “Don’t start getting all smart on me. You know it annoys me even more.”

That brought a smile to his face. “I’m only telling you the truth Hayleigh. If it makes you feel better, I’m sure Joe will tell our parents and Kevin not to make a fuss.”

“And if he doesn’t?”

“Then I’m sure my family has a little more sense than to go round making you feel uncomfortable.” Nick smiled reassuringly. I shrugged and tossed the pillow in my hands away to the other side of the bed.

“Fine then.” I smiled back at Nick. “But can I pretend to be feeling sick for a few more hours, I don’t know if I can face anyone just yet.”

“Does that mean you want me to go?” Nick asked, suddenly looking crushed. I shook my head.

“No, what I meant was--”

“Relax Hayleigh, I’m just messing around.” He laughed and then stood up from the bed. “I actually have some things to go and do, like the dishes downstairs. I’ll tell Joe you’re a worried wreck up here.” He grinned.

“No!” I exclaimed and then laughed at myself. “He’ll think I’m losing my mind or something!” Nick just shook his head at me and walked out of the room. I collapsed backwards against the soft pillows on my bed and let my mind wander.

So, this hadn’t been the uneventful summer I’d imagined it to be. In fact it was anything but uneventful. Part of me didn’t want to go home in a few weeks, in my mind I could quite easily live up here. But in reality I knew I couldn’t. First of all, I would miss my family too much, and also my whole life was in California even though it didn’t really feel like it anymore, what with my brother dividing his time between his girlfriend in Phoenix and our family home in Los Angeles and the fact that my Dad was hardly ever not working.

I still belonged there. Part of me knew I wouldn’t survive in Wyckoff for much longer then a couple of months. I was a big city girl, and I always would be.

The only thing drawing me to Wyckoff was my newly found family, as Nick had put it. I couldn’t help but wonder how I’d ever managed to forget about Denise and Paul, let alone the boys. They were just so kind and secure, like I wished my family was.

I don’t know how long I had been sat there, just thinking to myself, when my bedroom door opened once again. I craned my neck so I could see who it was, and smiled when I saw Joe’s head sticking round the door, a large goofy grin on his face.

“Are you still pretending to be ill?” He asked. I propped myself up on my elbows so I could see him better, and shook my head.

“I guess not.” I replied with a bit of a sigh. “I have made a mid-year resolution though.”

Joe looked confused. “What do you mean?”

“What I mean is, that when I leave I’m going to miss it here.” I explained. “So my new plan is, every time I have a break from filming anything, I’ll be straight on a plane to visit you and your family.”

Joe’s confusion turned to shock. “Every time?” He asked hopefully.

“Well, maybe not every time.” I thought about it some more, “You guys could always fly down and come and stay with us when you’re not at college or school or whatever.” Another thought sprung to mind, “And that way I could get you talking to some real people from some record companies, not my phony jackass ex.”

“Well, that does sound nice.” Joe grinned once again and then walked over to flop down onto the bed next to me. I laughed as the mattress jumped with Joe’s weight. “But I’m not that bothered about the record companies. I will however be interested in seeing you a lot when I come down.”

“So you like my idea then?” I giggled and turned my head so I could look at him.

“Of course.” He replied and tapped me playfully on the nose. “Of course we’ll have to get the parents to agree, but I’m sure they’d like to come see your Dad more often.”

“And I’m sure my father would like that.” I replied with a almost sad smile. “He never see’s his friends anymore, he’s always working. I kind of feel bad because most of the time he’s working to find me some acting jobs, only it’s been more difficult recently then it has been before. He needs his friends around him more often to take his mind of everything.”

“Can you write that down so I can use it as an argument when I ask my Dad?” Joe smiled in reply and I rolled my eyes. “When are you going back?” Joe asked suddenly.

He caught me off guard. I didn’t actually have a set date to go back home on, but I guessed it would have to be soon. I needed to get back in time for an audition for a new television show that my father had somehow managed to get me an audition for despite everything.

“I don’t entirely know, but it’ll probably have to be soon. I have an audition in a few weeks, so it’ll obviously have to be before then.” I replied and watched his face drop when he realised how little time we had left. “I won’t be gone forever Joe.”

“I know.” He replied. “I just need to ask you something.”

“Fire away.” I smiled.

“I would have had to have asked you this before you went, regardless of when that would be.” He explained. “Where do we stand? Because clearly from last night and earlier on today there is something going on between us.”

I frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Ok, that came out wrong.” Joe shook his head to himself and then frowned, like he was looking for the right words to say. “Clearly I see you as more than just a family friend, more than a friend in general. And I don’t know if you feel the same, or if your just being nice, but the long story short is that I have feelings for you. And honestly I just want to know where we both stand, before you go back home.”

The same sad look remained on his features when I didn’t reply straight away. In all honesty I was just simply taken aback, by the fact that after everything he’d found out about me that he would still be interested. Even if I came across as a bit of a psycho.

I propped myself up a bit more so I could lean over and kiss him softly on the lips. I didn’t stay there long; I just let the action speak louder than any words could have. Shyly I let myself lay back down next to him and waited for him to speak once again.

When he didn’t reply straight away, I started to worry that I’d done the wrong thing. I was about to open my mouth to speak when Joe mumbled something.

“You really shouldn’t do that you know.” He muttered quietly.

“Do what?” I asked, even more worried I’d done the wrong thing.

“Kiss me without warning!” He replied with a smile. My worry relaxed.

“You cannot talk Joseph.” I poked him in the side. “In case you’ve forgotten, you did exactly the same last night.” He rolled over from his back onto his side and looked down at me.

“Fair enough, but I am pretty sure you caught me off guard more then I caught you.” He challenged me. I was about to argue back but he silenced me with a quick kiss on the lips.

Everything I felt from the night before came flooding back, right down to the breathlessness because my heart was beating a mile a minute. When Joe pulled away I frowned at him.

“What?” He asked.

“You always do that!” I moaned. “You disappear before I’m done with you.” Joe just laughed at me before rewarding me with another kiss. This time I place my hand firmly on the back of his neck to keep him in place. He didn’t seem to mind at all and continued to move his lips gently against my own.

Eventually, we both began to run out of oxygen and I allowed Joe to separate himself from me.

“I do hope that has answered your question, because if you haven’t guessed already, I’m not a huge fan of verbally sharing my secrets.” I giggled to myself and began playing with one of his curls on the back of his head.

“I think it’s enough clarification.” He replied and then sat up properly. I followed suit and sat crossed legged opposite him. “Its going to be hard though, a long distance relationship.”

“Hey.” I caught the side of his face as he looked away from me and stroked his cheek comfortingly with my thumb. “If you truly want something, you fight to make it work, right?” I asked him and he nodded in reply. “I’m not giving up on this.” I reassured him.

“Good.” He replied. “Because neither am I.”