It's All We Know

Jessi’s POV

Something was definitely up, when we came on the bus I swear Rian looked annoyed, he barely smiled when I said hello. I watched him for a few minutes while Alex and Jack talked about something on Twitter, I doubt he was paying attention to the conversation either. I don’t really know why he is so annoyed, I know he asked me not to ‘go there’ with Jack, but technically nothing has really elevated from the kiss.

Then why did I feel guilty?

“Wana watch a movie Jess?” Jack nudged my arm to get my attention. I had been too busy looking at Rian who looked over his shoulder at us then got up and left the bus.

“Two minutes, you guys start it,” I smiled at Jack and got up to follow Rian.

“Wait Jess?” Alex called before I left, I stopped at the door, “what’s wrong with Rian? Did something happen?”

“I’m not sure,” I shrugged.

I found him just outside the bus, he wasn’t leaning against it this time, but pacing up and down muttering to himself. I knew from experience this meant he was angry and or upset.

“Rian?”

He stopped and looked at me, his expression changed from one of anger to one of confusion.

“Are you alright?” I asked stepping towards him.

“Fine, just fine,” he said through gritted teeth.

“Anything you wanna talk about?” I asked.

“I duno do you have a topic in mind?” he replied in a harsh tone.

“Are you angry? Rian? Seriously, why?” I asked getting a bit annoyed at his attitude.

He sighed and rubbed his hands on his shorts. “No, I’m ok, you should go back in, watch the movie.” He said trying to sound relaxed.

“No Rian, just tell me what’s up? If it’s about Jack and I, well-”

“No Jess, really it’s nothing,” he said with a small smile.

I took another step forward to give him a hug, he hugged me back, but something still didn’t feel right. When we pulled apart he didn’t look at me, I gave up and went back on to the bus. Alex and Jack looked up at me expectantly.

“I still duno,” I muttered sitting back down beside Jack.

“You don’t think he is angry at us?” Jack asked nervously.

“Why would he be angry with you?” Alex asked leaning forward to look at us both properly. The movie clearly forgotten about.

“Are you sure he didn’t say anything to you, before, about me?” I asked Jack choosing my words carefully.

“No… perhaps he’s just on his period or something,” Jack replied with a laugh.

I rolled my eyes and sat back, tucking my legs underneath me. Jack’s smile faded and he placed a hand on my knee. “You think he is angry at us.”

“Well what else could it be?” I asked. I really hoped it wasn’t though, I didn’t want to be the cause of arguments amongst the band, and especially not between Rian and I.

“Ok guys please tell me what is going on?” Alex whined.

“Jessi and I kissed, and Rian saw us,” Jack said bluntly.

“HUH!? Jessi you told me you liked me!” Alex said over dramatically.

I ignored Alex’s comment and looked at Jack who seemed to be deep in thought.

“Are you guys together then?” Alex asked.

Jack coughed nervously then looked at me, raising his eyebrows slightly.

“What?” I asked him, if he thought his eyebrows and smile were going to do all the talking he had another thing coming.

“Ohh have I made it awkward?” Alex sang. He got up and lifted his laptop bag and tucked it away.

“Hey Jack fancy getting some grub?” he asked.

“Sure, Jessi?” Jack asked me.

“No, I’m kinda tired,” I shook my head.

Jack looked disappointed, but after a little convincing from Alex he got up and left the bus, so I was left alone, with my thoughts. Right now I needed someone to talk to, I wish Faith was here. I guess I knew what I had to do though, I didn’t want to lose Rian again, that only meant one thing, Jack and I were out of the question. I had a feeling Jack wasn’t telling me something anyway. It was just a bit of fun right? Nothing serious? Then why instead of thinking about how I didn’t want to upset Rian, was I thinking about that kiss, thinking about Jack.