It's All We Know

Jack’s POV

We had all settled down and decided to watch a movie, Alex picked American Psycho, although I’m not sure why because so far it was shit, I don’t think Rian was enjoying it either last time I glanced at him he was staring off into space. About half way through the movie, Jessi shifted and rested her head on my shoulder, when I looked down at her I realised she was asleep.

“I think Zack is asleep!” Alex announced suddenly, he stretched forward in his seat and kicked Zack in the side. Who muttered something incoherent then turned over curling up in a ball on the floor. Rian laughed loudly but I stopped him by hissing “ssh!”

“Jessi is asleep too,” I whispered to the room.

“Maybe you should take her upstairs?” Rian suggested.

I nodded my head then with a little help from Rian I stood up then lifted Jessi in my arms, bridal style.

“Naw how cute are you guys…” Alex teased quietly.

I rolled my eyes then left the room and slowly made my way upstairs, I had just reached her room when Jessi woke up, she squirmed a little and I very nearly dropped her so she gripped my t-shirt tightly, but she relaxed when she realised where she was and that I was carrying her. I set her down on her bed and she lay back still clutching my t-shirt.

“Stay with me?” she asked sleepily.

“Okay,” I whispered then kicked my shoes off and lay down beside her, she immediately wrapped her arms around me and I did the same, cherishing the feeling of her body against mine. Her radio was still playing softly in the background, because she hadn’t said anything I didn’t move to turn it off.

Her breathing was quiet and I thought she had fallen asleep when she moved beside me then sighed, I shifted and pulled her closer to me, one of her hands rested on my chest and I took it in mine. I linked our fingers and twirled her thumb with mine slowly. After a while her breathing evened out and I knew she was asleep.

I couldn’t sleep though, I had too much on my mind, mostly Jessi, I understand I hurt her, I wish I could take it away, and I wish I could tell her how I felt. How do you go about telling someone you love them. I’ve never said it before, well I’ve obviously told my mom I loved her, because I do. But this was different, and I couldn’t think of the right way to say it. Of course then there was that silence afterwards, wondering if she will say it back, what if she rejects me, or laughs in my face. I don't think I could bear that, if she rejected me, I think I'd have to run away and live in a cave, I'd be that embarrassed. I wonder did Rian feel like that? But then he isn’t living in a cave so I doubt it. Why do I let myself think these things?

I moved a little and looked down at her, she looked so peaceful, I have missed this, just lying here with her. I smiled as a familiar song started on the radio. It could have been our song. I sang along a little in my mind to Here In Your Arms. This definitely could be our song…

I sighed to myself and chuckled, when the song ended, I can’t believe I thought of that as our song, I am such a woman! Just then Jessi moved in my arms and sat up to look at me a weird smile cased her lips.

“Did I wake you?” I asked, suddenly worried incase I sang out loud or something.

“What were you singing?” she asked.

“Nothing, come here,” I held my arms out to her again. She hesitated and studied me in the darkness for a minute before lying down again, she rested her head on my chest this time, and I think I heard her sigh happily.

I stroked her hair softly until I felt myself getting sleepy, I knew Jessi was definitely asleep when she moved away from me. Just before I felt myself drifting off I wrapped an arm around her again and whispered, “There’s no place else you should be, but here in my arms,” quietly.

My last thought before going to sleep was, I'll tell her tomorrow.