Late Night Ramblings

Don’t know what I’m going to write here. Probably just whatever word vomit decides to pop out of my head. Of course, my brain moves from one thing to another so quickly I won’t be able to get it all. The plastic on this clipboard is annoying me. How do you get it off? I could use scissors. Scissors would work. My nails broken. Scissors would work on that too. Have you ever just wondered how it would feel to DIE? I have. It’s just like, you’re there, but you’re not. I’d want to be a ghost. I’ve got hauntable people in mind. But that would only work if ghosts are real. I don’t think they’re real. Can I be something that’s not real? I hope I can. I’d want to be a ghost. Real or not, they’re cool. And if they’re not real, I’d be a paradox. I could never understand those. Wouldn’t being a paradox but not understanding them be another paradox? I wouldn’t understand myself. Hah. My life is a paradox. I don’t understand myself. Or my ramblings. My life is like a carousel. I get those highs, and then I crash down. I don’t like the crashes. I don’t like the highs either. They scare me. I’m not me. Who am I? Please tell me. Oh God. Am I turning skitzo now? Maybe that would be fun. I’d have someone to talk to. But you wouldn’t understand me. Are you cold? Me too. Maybe this cold is getting tous me. Yeah, this isn’t me. Who am I? I don’t know. I don’t think I’m you. Am I you? Then who would be me? I’m confused. I don’t understand myself. I want to electrocute a piece of paper. I’ve never tried. I want to. Does it work? Does paper have feelings? It comes from a tree. Trees are alive. Do trees feel? I don’t think they can. I wonder if rocks are alive. They’re natural. Isn’t everything natural alive? Someone said that. Who said that? Help me remember. Who were they? Who am I? I don’t know. Do you know? I wonder what it’s like to die. Do you feel anything? I’d want it to hurt when I die. So I know it’s over. Is it wrong I like pain? I don’t think it’s wrong. I don’t think anything’s wrong. Things just happen. Right? Why is it so hard for people to understand that? Why is it so hard for me to understand that? I don’t like paradoxes. They confuse me. They hurt my brain. Do they even have answers? I don’t think they have answers. Dying would be fun. Once in a lifetime experience. Hah. I wonder how I’ll die. Do you know? Does it depend on who you are? Who am I? I don’t know. Will I ever know? I’m sleepy. Is China sleepy? Hah. China’s land. Land can’t sleep. Or can it. It’s nature. All nature is alive, right? Sleep helps you live. That’s what they told me. Who are they? Who am I? Is everyone like this? Do they not know who they are? It feels weird. I want a personality. Or am I better off how I am now? I don’t think so. I don’t know who I am. I just want a personality. Mine.