False Impressions
The Funeral
May 30th 1964
Now today, I didn’t go to work and I didn’t wake up at the normal time that I normally do, I didn’t wear the normal colourful clothes I wear but I wore black. Now do you know why that is? Well today was the day I went to my Great Grandma’s funeral… I’m seriously lost for words. I can’t and don’t want to believe it. I know I’m starting to sound redundant but I really can’t believe it. As soon as I walked into the church and seen the coffin up front I immediately froze and started to cry. I couldn’t move any closer I just stood at the back of the church, till Jackson took my hand and whispered in my ear “come with me”, so I did. We walked up a bit and took a seat beside my mother and father. I really didn’t want to sit with them but I wasn’t gonna start anything, and anyways I sat on the outside and Jackson sat beside my mom. After the blessing and prays we said. There was a part for people to get up and say something about my lovely great grandma, and I pulled myself together long enough to walk up there and say something. I was just about in front of the church and looked over at the coffin again and froze once more, I was about to turn around when Jackson got up and took my hand and walked me up by the coffin and up to the microphone. As we were both up there we both said something. Every other word I said I started to chock up and I’m sure at times it was hard to understand what I was saying. I said something along the lines of "My Great Grandma was a great woman she showed me the way of life and I learned a lot from her. When I moved in with her I seen another side of the perfect woman, and she then showed me that it’s okay to learn from your problems and keep playing the game of life, for everyone has their own problems in life, and no ones perfect. So when I heard she had passed away it really killed me inside. I’m really gonna miss her." After I finished what I had to say Jackson then said something and we then we went to sit down. A few more people went up after us then everything was done, 'till we arrived at the graveyard. Watching the coffin go into the ground really tore me up inside it was the time that I had to at less believe that it was done, that she wasn’t coming back.
After everything was done, Jackson drove me home; I told him he could go home and I’d just make myself something to eat and go to sleep. But I guess he could still see the tears I was holding back and could hear the sadness in my voice. He said he couldn’t leave me at a time likes this and got out of the car and gave me a hug, and again I started to cry. Jackson again just calmly took hand and started to walk over to the stairs that would take us up to my place. Well walking throw the mailbox room the guy who lives beside me (the one who helped me move stuff into my place) seen that I was crying and asked what was wrong. I tired to talk but I just couldn’t so Jackson did for me, the guy said he was sorry to hear about my bad news hugged me and went on his way. After we got into my place I went straight to the bathroom to wash my face, then to my room to get out of the black depressing clothes I was wearing. Once I came out of my room, Jackson was in the kitchen make grilled chesses for us. Which I was okay with because me myself wasn’t to hungry I just really wanted to curl up into a ball and die at that given moment. When Jackson was done making us food we sat down at the table and nothing much was said. After we ate we sat down and watched TV it was around 9 when Jackson asked me if he could maybe stay the night at my place instead of having to drive home. I had no real problems with him asking me that. So I said yes. But asked him what he was gonna sleep in, He then told me he had some extra clothes in the back of his car from work and that he’d just sleep in those. I was okay with that. So I just laded back down and watched some more TV. Before Jackson went to get his clothes from the car, he asked me if I’d mind him using my shower I just shook my head no, because I knew if I tried to talk id just start to cry again, and I think he knew the same thing, so once I have him my answer he kissed me on the forehead before going down to his car and getting his clothes. Once he got back in I looked the door behind him and told him I was going to bed. In fact right now he’s still in the shower or he may be getting a drink or something. But before he gets in here I think I should make up my bed. So until I write again, goodbye.
Now today, I didn’t go to work and I didn’t wake up at the normal time that I normally do, I didn’t wear the normal colourful clothes I wear but I wore black. Now do you know why that is? Well today was the day I went to my Great Grandma’s funeral… I’m seriously lost for words. I can’t and don’t want to believe it. I know I’m starting to sound redundant but I really can’t believe it. As soon as I walked into the church and seen the coffin up front I immediately froze and started to cry. I couldn’t move any closer I just stood at the back of the church, till Jackson took my hand and whispered in my ear “come with me”, so I did. We walked up a bit and took a seat beside my mother and father. I really didn’t want to sit with them but I wasn’t gonna start anything, and anyways I sat on the outside and Jackson sat beside my mom. After the blessing and prays we said. There was a part for people to get up and say something about my lovely great grandma, and I pulled myself together long enough to walk up there and say something. I was just about in front of the church and looked over at the coffin again and froze once more, I was about to turn around when Jackson got up and took my hand and walked me up by the coffin and up to the microphone. As we were both up there we both said something. Every other word I said I started to chock up and I’m sure at times it was hard to understand what I was saying. I said something along the lines of "My Great Grandma was a great woman she showed me the way of life and I learned a lot from her. When I moved in with her I seen another side of the perfect woman, and she then showed me that it’s okay to learn from your problems and keep playing the game of life, for everyone has their own problems in life, and no ones perfect. So when I heard she had passed away it really killed me inside. I’m really gonna miss her." After I finished what I had to say Jackson then said something and we then we went to sit down. A few more people went up after us then everything was done, 'till we arrived at the graveyard. Watching the coffin go into the ground really tore me up inside it was the time that I had to at less believe that it was done, that she wasn’t coming back.
After everything was done, Jackson drove me home; I told him he could go home and I’d just make myself something to eat and go to sleep. But I guess he could still see the tears I was holding back and could hear the sadness in my voice. He said he couldn’t leave me at a time likes this and got out of the car and gave me a hug, and again I started to cry. Jackson again just calmly took hand and started to walk over to the stairs that would take us up to my place. Well walking throw the mailbox room the guy who lives beside me (the one who helped me move stuff into my place) seen that I was crying and asked what was wrong. I tired to talk but I just couldn’t so Jackson did for me, the guy said he was sorry to hear about my bad news hugged me and went on his way. After we got into my place I went straight to the bathroom to wash my face, then to my room to get out of the black depressing clothes I was wearing. Once I came out of my room, Jackson was in the kitchen make grilled chesses for us. Which I was okay with because me myself wasn’t to hungry I just really wanted to curl up into a ball and die at that given moment. When Jackson was done making us food we sat down at the table and nothing much was said. After we ate we sat down and watched TV it was around 9 when Jackson asked me if he could maybe stay the night at my place instead of having to drive home. I had no real problems with him asking me that. So I said yes. But asked him what he was gonna sleep in, He then told me he had some extra clothes in the back of his car from work and that he’d just sleep in those. I was okay with that. So I just laded back down and watched some more TV. Before Jackson went to get his clothes from the car, he asked me if I’d mind him using my shower I just shook my head no, because I knew if I tried to talk id just start to cry again, and I think he knew the same thing, so once I have him my answer he kissed me on the forehead before going down to his car and getting his clothes. Once he got back in I looked the door behind him and told him I was going to bed. In fact right now he’s still in the shower or he may be getting a drink or something. But before he gets in here I think I should make up my bed. So until I write again, goodbye.