Clairvoyant Disease

Matt

I held her close to my body, her warmth making me feel whole for once in my life. We lied on her soft bed, she had poured two glasses of champagne and we were munching on the chocolate covered cherries, or at least I was; she was too distracted tracing the outlines of the tattoos on my chest and stomach. The lace gown still covered her all the way down to her hips and I just couldn’t look away from her.

"Little bee?" I said softly, she looked up at me, she had a slight smile painted across her face and her eyes shone bright, this is the happy Carla Banes, the one I fell in love with when I was a kid forcing me to push her off the swingers then kiss her hurt knee and apologize, why do kids show their love in such a cruel way?

“Yeah?"

"You’re my girlfriend, right?"

"mmm, not really?" her gaze went back to my chest. She couldn’t possibly mean that! I slid down on the bed until we were face to face;

"why not?"

"well, I was taught that the man that truly wanted me to be a part of his life would know how to ask me, you know, not expect for me deduce it," her fingers danced all the way from my shoulder to my neck and back;

"Okay," I pulled her hand back in front of us and grabbed her other one in mine. I kissed them both as I got the courage to really ask her. After all, the last time I asked that question was way over fourteen years ago and that didn’t end well. "Carla Liam Banes, will you be my girlfriend?" she gasped when she heard her middle name leave my lips, I just smiled proudly knowing that I had gotten to, at least, annoy her;

"Yes I will, Matthew Charles Sander, I will," she said before slapping my chest "but if you ever mention the L word again, I'll castrate you!" I laughed;

"You know you wouldn't, you love it too much," I pulled her closer and spoke against her neck earning a moan from her;

"I do, but listen to me Matt," I knew she was serious enough for me to ignore her, so I pulled back and waited for her to continue "you have to promise me that you won't cheat or do anything else to hurt me, even when you’re angry, you won’t make me pay by hurting me,” it tore my heart to pieces that I had actually done so many things while angry just to make her feel miserable, even when she wasn’t responsible for my rage in the first place;

"I promise Carla. I’m sorry for the things that I put you through, you never deserved any of them, not even when you pissed me off, I never should’ve treated you the way I did,” I kissed her lips gently “I think it’s safe to say that we’ve gotten all that anger towards each other out in the past 15 years, we can live the happily ever after now," she smiled and threw her arm over my neck pulling me into a deep passionate kiss, right before breaking it abruptly;

"I broke your nose once! I had forgotten about that!" she was so proud. Anyone would’ve thought she knew me better, there was no way I’d let her gloat;

"And I fucked your mouth and pretty little face up," I mocked her tone of voice;

"Bitch...

CarlaFlashback to Highschool

I walked to our little hangout spot under the biggest tree. It was just past 8am and everyone was gathering up to start another school day. Our group was one of the most diverse ones here. There’s someone from each level, boys and girls alike. Some are into sports, others into arts and music and there’s always the ones that have absolutely no goals, what-so-ever.

I waltz to them, tiny outfit and all, hugged the ones already there and sat between Jimmy and Brian on one of the benches;

"What about that game last night?" Cam said randomly;

"Matt fucked it up, like usual," he really hadn’t, I just felt like pissing him off early in the morning;

"what the fuck I do now?" he made his way towards us with Val clutching his hand for dear life. Michelle followed close behind them. She pushed her way between them and went straight to me sitting on my lap and swinging her legs over Brian’s before she hugged me tightly and kissed my cheek. I chuckled at Val’s scowl and stuck my tongue out towards them. She hates me, I have the slight impression that he might have called her by my name while they were having sex;

"Don’t be sticking that disgusting thing out at me," he sat Val on the table in front of us and stood between her legs. The sight alone made me gag, I wasn't jealous, he's just a pig!

"Why is it disgusting? Cuz you can't taste it?" I pushed Michelle into Brian’s lap from where she stood quickly. I was ready to get in his face and I knew that his next words were the reason why I would do it;

"no, if I wanted that I’m sure you would let me, it’s actually because, you know, between us, I know you blew Richardson under the bleachers last night," it was very between us, he said it loud enough to be heard by everyone on that side of the school. I stood with a smile and went around our table towards him. He just stared at me with a cocky smirk that makes me want to punch the shit out of him, but I am far better than him and if he thought he would embarrass me by saying that, boy was he wrong;

"Oh, yeah, you saw that? You of all people saw that… Now why don't you enlighten us, Sanders? What were you doing when you got the free show? Hmm? Tell all of us, including your girlfriend, why you were down there last night after the game," blood rushed to his ears and his eyes turned a sickening shade of yellow. If there is a purpose in my life is to rip him to pieces from the inside out. I got closer to him placing my hand on his neck and pulling him down to my height ignoring Val's death glares, "or maybe I should tell all of them how that 8th grader screamed while you banged her brain out, remember she was so tight," I heard a gasp get caught in his throat as my lips graced his earlobe, he quickly snapped back from the shock and pushed me against the tree, shocking everyone around;

"you need to stay out of my fucking business, Carla. I’m done and over your shit! You keep focusing on going around sleeping with guys expecting to have them get you somewhere in life, remember that you will never be anything because you're just a worthless little whore and that is never going to change," he said, his eyes shining so bright inspiring some fear in me but his words were the ones to really do the damage, he knows what to say to hurt me, regardless of our relationship in the present, the past taught him so much about me that he knows me better than I know myself;

"the only reason you're so bitter is because you know a guy like [url-http://i166.photobucket.com/albums/u86/lilly_rose_6661/mibba/clirvoyant%20disease/ethan.jpg]Ethan[/url] has a better chance at being with me than you," I tried to get out of his grip just to have him push me harder by my shoulders against the tree, my bare skin slightly tearing with every move I made. Everybody watched carefully, it’s not the first time that we let anger get physical, of course, he’s much stronger than I am but I’ve been able to hold my own.

"if I wanted you, Bee, I could have you. I just don't want something like you between my sheets; you're an embarrassment to yourself, to us, to Eric and Martha… you’re a worthless human being,” he finished with a proud smile, he had done it, he had officially pissed the hell out of me with stinging words and pulling out the strongest weapon, the name he gave me when we were just children playing in my backyard;

I butt-headed him forcing him to let go off my shoulders to hold his bloody nose, that’s when I took charge and tackled him, both of us falling into the bulging roots of the tree; I straddled his stomach and grabbed his hair slamming his head over and over before wrapping my hands tightly around his neck. I screamed various insults at him: "I’m an embarrassment, dickhead?" and "I'm not your fucking Bee, bitch!", totally ignoring the guys who were screaming for me to let him go as his face turned a scary shade of purple, he pulled his right arm out from under my knee and slapped me with the back of it. His hand being as big as it is, not only left a throbbing pain on my cheekbone it also pushed my cheek into my back teeth were it got tore. When the taste of blood filled my mouth, that’s when I dug my nails deeper into his neck.

"Carla enough!" Brian ripped me off Matt; he threw me over his shoulder with Dan walking close by to hold my skirt down enough;

"Let me at him! He dares to call me an embarrassment while he's fucking a thirteen year old girl!" I screamed as Brian started his way inside the school, "you're an asshole, your girlfriend cheats on you cuz your parent don't make 7 figures a year," I yelled "I hate you!" I finally and spit the blood his way. It hurt, not my cheek or back teeth or cheek bone, though he had done quite the damage, but his words, I would've rather for him to kick my ass all day, out in front of everyone and not say I'm an embarrassment or worthless, I'm a little whorish at times but not an embarrassment, come on!

Brian took me to the nurse's office, claimed I had hit myself with a locker door, she gave me salt water to stop the bleeding and some aspiring for the headache I was bound to get. I sat on a small bed inside a tiny room within the nurse’s office holding a pack of ice to my cheek. Both Brian and Dan watched me intently as they waited for me to speak about what had happened. I could tell they were both angry, what I didn’t know was at who they were angry. At me for messing with Matt, yet again, or at Matt for slapping me?

"I’m so done with that son of a bitch," I muttered as tears involuntarily left my eyes. The trails of eyeliner only accentuated the huge red mark on my cheek bone that seemed to be turning blue with every passing second. The inside of my cheek is just as screwed. "He calls me a slut when his girlfriend sneaks out at 3am with [url-=http://i166.photobucket.com/albums/u86/lilly_rose_6661/mibba/clirvoyant%20disease/cobailt.jpg] Cobalt!"[/url] they both looked at each other confused and somewhat interested before questioning me with their eyes. "when I get home she’s leaving hers,"

"Oh, yeah. Um, what are you gonna tell your parents?" Brian asked softly;

"That I got in a fight at school..." they waited for the grand finally where I turned Matt in "with a freshman girl," I finished;

"Carla, you need to tell them about your relationship with Matt, they need to know so they can stop sticking the both of you in the most uncomfortable situations,” Dan finally spoke, yeah they love him more than they love me!

"my parents are better off not knowing, it’s opening a can of worms for both Matt and myself, besides, he’s like the son they never had," to say that it tore my heart to pieces to know that they love and care for someone who treats me so badly, it’s an understatement. The nurse gave Brian and Dan the very last pass she would give them for the semester, pass they won’t actually use since neither of them actually planned on going to class. I found the nearest bathroom and washed my face of before hunting down Issa and taking her dark oversized glasses. I was in no mood for a lecture or to be stuck inside a chemistry lab so I sat on the furthest table out in the open. It was too early in the morning to go home, my mom is probably there making lunch while my dad goes out to target practice or some other nonsense of his’. I just want to go somewhere no one will find me, if just for the day. I’m not thinking about running away, especially not because of him.

Footsteps approached me and I didn’t care to look, I was already hurt, I didn’t care anymore of anyone harming me. Jeremy Cobalt sat across from me on the other bench;

"Hi Carla, how are doing?" I cocked an eyebrow, he rarely talks to me. Most of the time he only winks at me from afar as he tries to undress me with his eyes. I tilted my head so that my hair would cover whatever the sunglasses hadn’t.

"Jeremy," I expect him to sense how little interest I have in speaking to him and leave as quickly as possible;

"look, I know that we’re both kinda from different places and whatnot, but I really like you. I’m sure that you’ve noticed and I would like to take you out for dinner soon,” I crossed my arms in front of my chest. This has her name written all over it! “how ‘bout this Friday?"

"Jeremy, no offense, yanno…" I was beginning to see red at the thought of what they might’ve planned out for me also there’s that itty-bitty thought of him with Val laughing at Matt’s expense, I mean I don’t like him but he will always be Mattie Boy, even if it only is in the darkest, deepest and scariest place in my heart "I don't like you, you see, you keep messing around with someone who's boyfriend is like my brother and I don't like people who make a fool out of him,"

"Carla, you hate Matt," he reasoned;

"yes, but I'm totally honest with him about everything, I have nothing to hide, that's why we have such a horrible relationship," I stood up "you and Val keep messing with him and you will regret it," I threaten before walking away, he quickly stood up and followed me as I was about to walk inside the school;

"c'mon, Carla, please," he pulled on my hand "you and I are single and happy people, Val, she's fun but she's with Matt, I like you, a lot," he was trying too hard which only meant that my initial premonition was right;

"The answer is still no," he looked over my shoulder and smiled cockily;

"okay, just call me if you change your mind," he walked pass me leaving me there confused. I don’t even have his number to begin with! I turned around ready to face my demons and enter our next class when I crashed into Matt’s wide chest.

“what the hell were the two of you talking about?” he asked, I was so shocked at the sight in front of me. His bruised nose and neck screamed at me making me feel like I had crossed a line earlier. I snapped back into reality “tell me Carla, what did he want?”

"What do you care?" I stood back away from him;

"I want him miles away from you, he's a fucking menace!" the veins on his neck popped as he spoke calling out for me to see the damage I had done closer. I had tightened my hands around it enough to leave deep purple bruises and the marks of my nails on each side of it;

"Matt, I don't fucking care about you want! Look at my face! Look at what you did to me; it's all because of her! We've been like this since you started with her and you know it!" I took the sunglasses off my face. I’m sure the sight was shocking enough because he stared and sighed;

"Carlee, this is not because of Val, it has nothing to do with her. This happened because you love to piss the hell out of me!" he gripped my shoulders trying to make me understand;

"Matt, what the hell is going on?" her voice screeched, he turned to look at her and let me go, backtracking a few feet away from me;

"See what I mean?"

“just stay out of this," he told her;

"Matt, you know exactly what this little thing wants to do to us and you are bound to let her do it eventually." she spoke with such disgust that I was set on giving her the same piece of my mind I had given him, except of course, that the damage would be triple.

"no I won’t, can you just hold on for one minute?"

"Matt, you don’t need a minute, I don’t want to speak with you anymore than what she wants me to speak with you but just think about it… look at her and look at me, look at what you did to me and think back at what you said to me. She’s been the reason for all of our problems from the very start and you can mark this date, she will be the reason why you and I never make amends. You will be lonely and miserable and used and it will be too late for me to give a damn,” his eyes never left mine as I spoke;

"he won’t be and even if this were to turn south between us he won’t need you, nobody will ever need or want you,”

“probably not, at least I will know that everything I did, said and am is completely real, I hide nothing from no one, ever,”

“neither do I-“

"What about Jeremy?" I cut her off closed in on her, Matt as off instinct stood between us;

"what about him? That’s a lie that not even yourself believes. I’ve never even talked to him. You only want Matt to believe you so that he’ll break up with me so that you can have him for yourself, it’s pitiful,”

"I don’t want Matt, I’ve never wanted him and I never will want him as a man, I can’t stand him half the time but-" I got tired of having to look at her over his side that I gathered all of my strength and pushed him aside "you won’t keep making a fool out of him, even if I have to rip every badly bleached hair out of your scalp," I pushed her even harder making her tumble back and I walked inside of the main building with a numbing feeling that would continue with me until the end of semester when Matt, Brian, Zacky and Dan left the school.

End of Flashback