Sequel: Living to Die ›
Status: RE-WRITING Updating every Wednesday and Saturday Summer 2015
Clairvoyant Disease
Kinda
I couldn’t sleep, every time I was falling asleep I felt his hands roaming my body, touching me places he only knew would drive me crazy. It was around 3:30am and I was still tossing and turning on my bed trying to rid myself from the effect he had on me. Between the extreme sugar rush, my rage towards Val and my horniness, I was fucked and if it had been literally I’d probably be asleep by now, but it wasn’t so I only had one thing to do…
Matt
I drove home quietly, even the radio bothered me. I needed my girl, I needed to hold her and make her mine and forget about the rest of the world, but I was so angry as well, Val doesn’t want to go the fuck away!
When I parked on my driveway, my phone rang: unknown, though I already had an idea who it could be:
”hello?”
“please, Matt, you said you’d help me out,”
“oh my God, Val. You already ruined my night, what do you want from me? I said I’d help you out but there are other moments to deal with this, midnight is most certainly not the time for it,” I was annoyed beyond my own control and if I hurt her feelings I could no longer really care;
”I know that but I expected you to be done with whatever it was that you were doing by now. I’m sorry… I just- I need to be honest with you, Matt. I have never in my life and I never will love anyone as much as I love you. I was raised to believe that economically comfortable is happy, they were wrong and I was, too. You know I tried to talk to you, you know I tried to explain, but you didn’t listen,”
“I didn’t buy it,” I interrupted her;
”um…”
“I’m still not buying it. You want me as much as you wanted Jeremy especially now that I have the money that he no longer has. Don’t call me or come by my house or even think of any other way to find me, Valary. If I can help you out with something, I’ll do it through Michelle, I don’t want to fuck the relationship I have with my girlfriend because of you,”
“Matt, you’re going to need me, Carla wasn’t made for you-“ I was now seeing red;
”I’ll take my fucking chances,”
I hung up and threw my phone back on the dash and rested back on my seat, if she only disappeared, just enough for Carla to really trust me, that way when Val came back Carla would fight along me not against me, I closed my eyes for a second. A second that turned into hours, my phone once again rang waking me up. Looking around confused, I realized how much of an idiot I am before grabbing my phone from the dash. Little Bee it flashed and at the top right corner the hour screamed at me: 3:45am
”hello?”
“hi,”
“Bee, what’s going on? Are you alright? Why are you calling so late?” my anxiousness was more than clear in my voice;
“chillax man, stop with yelling. It’s too fucking early in the morning for that. I’m fine, I just couldn’t sleep, alright? I needed to hear your voice, I’m sorry for waking you up,”
“it’s fine, baby, I actually fell asleep in my car when I got here so I have to go inside,” I sighed feeling calmer;
”wow, that’s stupid, why’d you do that?”
“um… Val called me and started talking shit so we argued for a bit and that drained the little bit of energy I had left,” I looked up at the empty dark house, it’s a nightmare to be in there without her;
”oh” I could hear the bitterness in her voice before she sighed ”so go inside,”
“in a lil bit, now, you need to get some rest. You know you stay up one night and it becomes a routine,”
“yeah, I know. I just, I had a killer sugar rush and I was kinda angry and kinda horny so my mind wouldn’t let me fall asleep,” I felt the heat grow and opened the door to let some fresh air in.
”kinda horny, baby?”
“well, yeah. Just because she killed the mood it doesn’t mean I didn’t want it to happen, I did, a lot,”
”me too,” I know that my voice had changed and the need for her was growing by the second;
“change the tone, I’m not gonna hump my bed at 3 in the morning!”
“you’d do it at any other time during the day?” the erection was now trying to painfully escape my jeans. God, how I wish I had her right now;
”no, but I’d find you,”
“Bee, say the word. I could go pick you up right now, just say the word,” I wish she tells me she wants me to!
”no! Just talk to me, tell me something I don’t know, how’s the house? I heard it’s barely standing,”
“ugh, fine. Well, kinda, there’s just a shitload of things I have to get around to buy…”
“like what?” I squeezed my eyes shut, this could go either ways and I don’t want to fuck up the progress I’ve made so far;
”well… a TV for my room, and a mirror for it, too. Um… two doors, an entire plate set for guest, I gotta fix a wall or two and get a dining table…”
“yo stop it right there! What the hell happened to my table?” I took a deep breath, fuck, she loved that thing!
”uh… I kinda flipped it over on a temper tantrum,”
“how the fuck did you do that? That shit is huge and heavy, it took you and three other guys to set it and you destroyed it?”
“well, I feel like hulk when I’m upset, you know that,” she sighed. She hates my anger with a passion, I had hurt her so much while angry;
”you’re an idiot when you’re upset. Anyways, why didn’t you take it out on yourself like usual? That anger management shit you’ve worked on for the past 6 years,”
“I tried. I swam and thought of the little fun we had in the pool, I couldn’t step on the gym without thinking of our “little” work out, I took it out on the table, cuz I was drunk and I lost my phone, I went inside the dining room and I swear, Carla Banes, I saw you just like in the photoshoot you did right there in nothing but a thong. I’m losing my fucking mind and you’re responsible for it!” she sucked the air through her teeth;
“Oh My God! I was gonna fucking mess with you, but we never did it here, just that time you snuck into the bathroom and we didn’t actually go through with it… just so you know: I can’t use that bathroom, Matt, I see it happening all over again, if I felt it then I’d never leave, I’d take a shower for the rest of my life, but I only see it so, I’m stuck in this one,” I laughed softly;
“that was fun, too, seriously, the only reason why this SUV still runs is Matt Berry. I went at this piece of crap with a sledgehammer, MB called to check on me and I snapped out of it,”
“wow, you’re a grown ass man that has other grown ass men checking up on him. What the fuck is wrong with you?
“you are what’s wrong with me! I miss you. We left a sex trail from the foyer to every other room of this house, we didn’t complete it cuz it only lasted a couple of week, imagine if we had been together longer,”
“we could take on the rest of the house,” that knocked all sense out of my mind. She was in her own way saying she was coming back!
“do we really, you’re coming home?”
“well, I was already thinking about it and now that I have a goal, I’m convinced,”
“whoa, you like it that much?” I was trying to keep it playful because if I pushed too hard on an emotional level she’d block me out again, I know her too well;
”fuck yeah! That thing you got is addicting!” I laughed;
”I’m pretty hooked on you, too. And it’s safe to say you only want me for my body,”
“yeah and the way you say I love you when we’re in the middle of it… I want you for that, too,” I had to hold the urge I felt to go get her at that moment and repeat those words over and over again as I made love to her;
”what I wouldn’t give to be saying it just like that right now,” I heard her sigh and the fire was lit again, that need and that desperation from the both of us to give all will and be together;
”that tone, if you were hooked on for reals what would you… actually, never mind,”
“what?”
“nothing! I’m just gonna make the kinda feelings even worst,” I laughed, my girl was kinda horny and asking me what I would do to her would only make it much worse;
“alright, go to sleep babe, it’s late, I’ll call you later today,”
“ugh, fine. Go in, please,”
“I will, I love you,”
“I love you, too, bye,” I had one last second to finish screwing with her head;
”wait!”
“what?”
“to answer your unspoken question… there’s a lot of things I would love to do you right now, I just want to do them more than say them,” she groaned;
”how the fuck did you know?”
“I think, I know you better than you know yourself,” I smiled;
”jerk, bye,”
“bye” feeling way better than I had before, I got out of my car and went inside my house. I wish she was here. I miss having her around, playing around with her, love her and hold her at night, that would be perfection; just speaking to her is heavenly but she’s coming home now, though I don’t want to get my hopes up, she’s pretty bipolar and I know Val will rest at nothing to see us apart.
I stripped and laid down on my empty cold bed, when I started drifting off my phone went off signaling I had a message:
babe, I <3 u, I miss u & I can’t wait to b in ur arms again, but im not stepping in that house until it is how I left it. So start buying shit and fixing shit. Sleep tight.
I chuckled, figures, I texted back quickly:
fine, I’ll deal with it 2morrow. Love u
She answered a simple u 2 and I was finally able to fall asleep…
Matt
I drove home quietly, even the radio bothered me. I needed my girl, I needed to hold her and make her mine and forget about the rest of the world, but I was so angry as well, Val doesn’t want to go the fuck away!
When I parked on my driveway, my phone rang: unknown, though I already had an idea who it could be:
”hello?”
“please, Matt, you said you’d help me out,”
“oh my God, Val. You already ruined my night, what do you want from me? I said I’d help you out but there are other moments to deal with this, midnight is most certainly not the time for it,” I was annoyed beyond my own control and if I hurt her feelings I could no longer really care;
”I know that but I expected you to be done with whatever it was that you were doing by now. I’m sorry… I just- I need to be honest with you, Matt. I have never in my life and I never will love anyone as much as I love you. I was raised to believe that economically comfortable is happy, they were wrong and I was, too. You know I tried to talk to you, you know I tried to explain, but you didn’t listen,”
“I didn’t buy it,” I interrupted her;
”um…”
“I’m still not buying it. You want me as much as you wanted Jeremy especially now that I have the money that he no longer has. Don’t call me or come by my house or even think of any other way to find me, Valary. If I can help you out with something, I’ll do it through Michelle, I don’t want to fuck the relationship I have with my girlfriend because of you,”
“Matt, you’re going to need me, Carla wasn’t made for you-“ I was now seeing red;
”I’ll take my fucking chances,”
I hung up and threw my phone back on the dash and rested back on my seat, if she only disappeared, just enough for Carla to really trust me, that way when Val came back Carla would fight along me not against me, I closed my eyes for a second. A second that turned into hours, my phone once again rang waking me up. Looking around confused, I realized how much of an idiot I am before grabbing my phone from the dash. Little Bee it flashed and at the top right corner the hour screamed at me: 3:45am
”hello?”
“hi,”
“Bee, what’s going on? Are you alright? Why are you calling so late?” my anxiousness was more than clear in my voice;
“chillax man, stop with yelling. It’s too fucking early in the morning for that. I’m fine, I just couldn’t sleep, alright? I needed to hear your voice, I’m sorry for waking you up,”
“it’s fine, baby, I actually fell asleep in my car when I got here so I have to go inside,” I sighed feeling calmer;
”wow, that’s stupid, why’d you do that?”
“um… Val called me and started talking shit so we argued for a bit and that drained the little bit of energy I had left,” I looked up at the empty dark house, it’s a nightmare to be in there without her;
”oh” I could hear the bitterness in her voice before she sighed ”so go inside,”
“in a lil bit, now, you need to get some rest. You know you stay up one night and it becomes a routine,”
“yeah, I know. I just, I had a killer sugar rush and I was kinda angry and kinda horny so my mind wouldn’t let me fall asleep,” I felt the heat grow and opened the door to let some fresh air in.
”kinda horny, baby?”
“well, yeah. Just because she killed the mood it doesn’t mean I didn’t want it to happen, I did, a lot,”
”me too,” I know that my voice had changed and the need for her was growing by the second;
“change the tone, I’m not gonna hump my bed at 3 in the morning!”
“you’d do it at any other time during the day?” the erection was now trying to painfully escape my jeans. God, how I wish I had her right now;
”no, but I’d find you,”
“Bee, say the word. I could go pick you up right now, just say the word,” I wish she tells me she wants me to!
”no! Just talk to me, tell me something I don’t know, how’s the house? I heard it’s barely standing,”
“ugh, fine. Well, kinda, there’s just a shitload of things I have to get around to buy…”
“like what?” I squeezed my eyes shut, this could go either ways and I don’t want to fuck up the progress I’ve made so far;
”well… a TV for my room, and a mirror for it, too. Um… two doors, an entire plate set for guest, I gotta fix a wall or two and get a dining table…”
“yo stop it right there! What the hell happened to my table?” I took a deep breath, fuck, she loved that thing!
”uh… I kinda flipped it over on a temper tantrum,”
“how the fuck did you do that? That shit is huge and heavy, it took you and three other guys to set it and you destroyed it?”
“well, I feel like hulk when I’m upset, you know that,” she sighed. She hates my anger with a passion, I had hurt her so much while angry;
”you’re an idiot when you’re upset. Anyways, why didn’t you take it out on yourself like usual? That anger management shit you’ve worked on for the past 6 years,”
“I tried. I swam and thought of the little fun we had in the pool, I couldn’t step on the gym without thinking of our “little” work out, I took it out on the table, cuz I was drunk and I lost my phone, I went inside the dining room and I swear, Carla Banes, I saw you just like in the photoshoot you did right there in nothing but a thong. I’m losing my fucking mind and you’re responsible for it!” she sucked the air through her teeth;
“Oh My God! I was gonna fucking mess with you, but we never did it here, just that time you snuck into the bathroom and we didn’t actually go through with it… just so you know: I can’t use that bathroom, Matt, I see it happening all over again, if I felt it then I’d never leave, I’d take a shower for the rest of my life, but I only see it so, I’m stuck in this one,” I laughed softly;
“that was fun, too, seriously, the only reason why this SUV still runs is Matt Berry. I went at this piece of crap with a sledgehammer, MB called to check on me and I snapped out of it,”
“wow, you’re a grown ass man that has other grown ass men checking up on him. What the fuck is wrong with you?
“you are what’s wrong with me! I miss you. We left a sex trail from the foyer to every other room of this house, we didn’t complete it cuz it only lasted a couple of week, imagine if we had been together longer,”
“we could take on the rest of the house,” that knocked all sense out of my mind. She was in her own way saying she was coming back!
“do we really, you’re coming home?”
“well, I was already thinking about it and now that I have a goal, I’m convinced,”
“whoa, you like it that much?” I was trying to keep it playful because if I pushed too hard on an emotional level she’d block me out again, I know her too well;
”fuck yeah! That thing you got is addicting!” I laughed;
”I’m pretty hooked on you, too. And it’s safe to say you only want me for my body,”
“yeah and the way you say I love you when we’re in the middle of it… I want you for that, too,” I had to hold the urge I felt to go get her at that moment and repeat those words over and over again as I made love to her;
”what I wouldn’t give to be saying it just like that right now,” I heard her sigh and the fire was lit again, that need and that desperation from the both of us to give all will and be together;
”that tone, if you were hooked on for reals what would you… actually, never mind,”
“what?”
“nothing! I’m just gonna make the kinda feelings even worst,” I laughed, my girl was kinda horny and asking me what I would do to her would only make it much worse;
“alright, go to sleep babe, it’s late, I’ll call you later today,”
“ugh, fine. Go in, please,”
“I will, I love you,”
“I love you, too, bye,” I had one last second to finish screwing with her head;
”wait!”
“what?”
“to answer your unspoken question… there’s a lot of things I would love to do you right now, I just want to do them more than say them,” she groaned;
”how the fuck did you know?”
“I think, I know you better than you know yourself,” I smiled;
”jerk, bye,”
“bye” feeling way better than I had before, I got out of my car and went inside my house. I wish she was here. I miss having her around, playing around with her, love her and hold her at night, that would be perfection; just speaking to her is heavenly but she’s coming home now, though I don’t want to get my hopes up, she’s pretty bipolar and I know Val will rest at nothing to see us apart.
I stripped and laid down on my empty cold bed, when I started drifting off my phone went off signaling I had a message:
babe, I <3 u, I miss u & I can’t wait to b in ur arms again, but im not stepping in that house until it is how I left it. So start buying shit and fixing shit. Sleep tight.
I chuckled, figures, I texted back quickly:
fine, I’ll deal with it 2morrow. Love u
She answered a simple u 2 and I was finally able to fall asleep…