Clairvoyant Disease

I held onto his thick body as he drove. There really isn’t anything better than this, wait, scratch that, sex with this man is better than this; still, this is a close second. We went to L.A. Prime where we dined and talked about the things that were coming our way, from his tour to my new SG videos and the Spike show. I didn’t exactly go into details about what we were supposed to do mostly because I know him and I know how unbelievably jealous he can be at times so I’ll just leave it for some other time.

After we were done we went to the nearest Ben & Jerry’s, while I waited outside smoking a cigarette he went in and got me a chocolate fudge brownie/magic brownie sundae, yeah I’m kind of obsessed with those and he knows me so very well.

We sat on a bench in front of the pier. It was a calm evening, there were few people around us and we could continue speaking freely about anything that came to mind. For a moment, silent fell upon us. I thought about all the things we went through and where we are right now, I still can’t believe it.

“Carla,” he broke the silence, the sound of his voice alone made every single hair on my body rise, I looked at him feeling the heat rise up to my cheeks “when are you coming home?”

I thought for a second, I was dying to go back but something held me back.

“Matt, I dunno. I want to but I don’t trust you. I can sit here and lie and make up excuses as to why I’m not going back but the bottom line of it is that, it’s really fucking hard to trust you. Right now, I’ve put myself in this situation where I have no other choice but to believe your every word and not question it. I think this is the best way to go for us right now, we can have this for a while and-and just…” I sighed “just begin with a clean slate,”

“that’s not necessarily true, I mean you could learn to trust me right at home and put yourself to the test when I’m gone,” I chuckled;

“or become a big shitty mess?”

“Bee, I - I miss having you next to me, yanno? Holding you and waking you up in the middle of the night just for a kiss and to tell you how much I love you…” that brought a smile to my face that almost hurt, he never takes anything for granted, he just can’t keep it in his pants for too long and if I’m not around someone else will be;

“well, you could always spend a night or two at Issa’s,” I said looking away from him again. I waited for an answer but nothing when I looked up at him he was smiling like an idiot down at me “stupid, say something,”

“let’s go,” he said pulling on my hand;

“I’m not done, yet, Sanders. So calm the fuck down,” he laughed and sat back next to me.

Truth was, I was more than eager to be in his arms and give myself to him but he was still grounded mostly because I like to tease the shit out of him.

We got back to the apartment about an hour later, Issa was nowhere to be seen so I could only guess she was asleep already, the only question was: Where the hell is Brian?