You Are the One that I Want

When I saw Gilmans, I went behind the place and continued walking straight, until I saw a rail of tracks. I saw a sign in the distance, but the rain was too think for me to be sure that it said 'Christie Road', but I was sure that I was there.

I walked down the abandoned tracks, looking at each warehouse that I passed by. They looked very horrifying, since they were abandoned years ago.

I quickly jumped as I heard the thunder get louder, and I swear I saw lightening go right in front of me. For most people, it would have been a stupid idea to walk the train tracks at night, during a thunder storm but I needed to; I had no choice, I really needed to talk to Tre.

I continued walking the tracks. At that moment, I thought it would have been best to just turn around and go home, but if I did go home and get trapped by Josh, Tre would have felt worse for leaving me on my own. So I had to do what I thought was right, and what was right, was to keep walking these tracks.

I saw a lights up ahead. They looked like headlights from a car. It must have been Tre, who else would it be? I walked more up the tracks then took a right turn on a field. I pushed out of the way some bushes. When I was where I thought I should have been, I saw the back of Billies car. I walked slowly up to it. I went to the passengers side of the car and tried to open the door.

I saw the lights go on inside the car and thats when I got a good look at Tres face: he had tear marks on his cheeks and his eyes were red. He bent over to the door and unlocked it so I could go in, thats what I did.

I went into the car and shut the door. I looked over at Tre, he wasn't looking back, he was looking straight ahead. It took me a minute to put my words together, to try and make everything better.

"Tre, I'm sorry," I said a little over a whisper. He didn't take his eyes off the view in front of him, "Tre?" I tugged at his shoulder, but again, no movement, "Tre, would you just talk to me, please?" I begged.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asks with hurt in his voice.

"I don't know. I just didn't think you'd have a good reaction to it," I looked down, and I knew Tre finally turned to look at me.

"Why would you think that?" he asked, acting a little bitter.

"Well, you're not having a good reaction now."

"Maybe because I had to hear it from my friend, when I would have wanted to hear it from the person who actually had the miscarriage," he spat. You felt the tears in your eyes. Hes never yelled at me before, you thought.

"I know, and I'm sorry," you began to sob out a little.

"It's not just this, you've kept secrets from me before."

"I'm sorry," I repeated. I didn't know what else to say.

"Were you ever going to tell me?" he asked. I looked down at my lap, repeating his question in my head. "Tabitha?" I looked up. He doesn't usually call me by my whole name... "Were you ever going to tell me?" he repeated again, this time sounding a bit more angry.

I looked back down.

"I don't know," I said in a whisper. He slowly looked away. I looked back up at him, "Tre, please, I'm really sorry. Cant we just go home?" I finally controlled my tears.

"No, I think we need to talk about this some more," he said, as he put his hand under his chin to rest it. "How did it happen?" he asked calmly.

"The miscarriage?" I asked; he nodded; "I think it happened when I either fell or from my medication." He kept his eyes straight, without looking at me once.

"We should have been more careful."

"Tre, did you want to keep it, if it didn't die?" I asked him, as I rubbed his arm.

"I don't know," he said, "I just wish I knew when you had the miscarriage, because I wouldn't feel like shit right now, I would have helped you out. You know how hard it is to hear from your best friend that your girlfriend had a miscarriage? And you know how hard it is to be avoided from your girlfriend for days? Or do you know how it feels when everybody around you acts like they know somethings up and they wont tell you?" he said with anger in his voice, but at the same time, tears were slowly making there way down his cheeks.

"I hate having the feeling like I'm losing you," he said slowly.

I grabbed a hold of his hand, "No, Tre, you're not losing me, I'm right here, and I'm going to stay here with you. I love you so much, Id never leave you," I wiped away the tears on his face.

He looked back at me, like I was the best thing ever, how I love that look he gives me,
"I love you too, so much. I cant even explain how much I love you, but I think we need..." he hesitated to say what he wanted to say, "a break." I felt my heart being ripped into pieces.

The tears rushed down my cheek, "What?" I choked out. It looked like he really didn't want to do this. "You're breaking up with me?"

"I just think we need a little break. Get away from each other for a while."

I felt my world break into little pieces at that point. I couldn't stay in the car with him, because I knew he didn't want me there. I quickly opened the door and got out into the rain.

"Tabs, wait," I heard him say right before I closed the door.

I walked back down the streets to get away. I didn't know where I was going, I wasn't paying any attention to what streets I was walking on. All I could think about was Tre and how he just broke my heart. I kept blaming myself for the breakup, it was all my fault. If only I told him sooner, then things would have been better.

It had been a hour since I left Tre in the car. I found myself wandering around Adeline Street, the street where Mike lives. Id been walking around the street for a half hour, dreading to knock on Mikes door. I couldn't go home, Josh would kill me. I wanted Tre back. I needed him back.

I finally got the courage to knock on Mikes door. I waited for him to answer it, as the rain drops hit my already soaked head. I heard the door creak open and the light from the inside come out. I didn't have any energy to lift my head.

"Can I come in?" I asked, with tears dropping down my face. They couldn't tell I was crying, since I was already soaked from the rain. I looked up and saw Mike nod his head with a concern look on his face.

He grabbed my wrist and brought me in the living room, sitting me at the sofa. I looked up, seeing Mike sitting next to me and Billie sitting on the floor, holding a beer.

"Tabs, we gotta show you something," Billie got up and gave me my medication. "Read the back."

I did what he told me, and flipped the bottle over. It read in big, bold block letters: 'DON'T TAKE IF EXPECTING CHILD'. I felt the tears waiting in my already watery eyes, I held them in.

"Stupid pills!" I threw the bottle on the floor.

"Are you okay?" Mike asked me, putting his arm around my shoulders. I broke down, I didn't know what else to do. He held me tight, I cried into his shirt. "What happened?" He asked, while rubbing my back. I looked over at Billie, he looked concerned for me.

"Tre... He doesn't... He broke up with me," I sobbed more in his shirt.

"He broke up with you?" Billie repeated into a question. I nodded my head slowly, still not looking up from Mikes shirt.

"It'll be okay," Mike tried to make me feel better, but it didn't work.

"Why?" Billie was in shock.

"Because I didn't tell him about the miscarriage, and ever since then, hes felt like hes been losing me," I stopped sobbing, but kept my place with Mike.

"Its not your fault," Mike said. I looked up at both of them.

"I'm gonna go," I couldn't stay any longer, because these are Tres friend. Sure, they might be my friends too, but it wouldn't be right to stay with Mike if they were first Tres friends.

"You can stay," Mike offered.

I shook my head, "I cant."

With that, I ran out the house, not looking back. I walked down the streets again, in the rain.
When I arrived on my street, I stopped when I saw Tre and my house. Which one would I go in? I didn't know if Tre would want me in his. But if I went in mine and Josh got a hold of me and did something big, then Tre would feel responsible.

I quickly made up my mind, and climbed into my room. I went through the window and looked around. There was only my stuff in there. It felt like months since Id been In the room. I walked over to my bed and remembered the day when Tre snuck into my room, it was the first day we became a couple.

I cried as I remembered the times. I mostly cried when I remembered when he said he wouldn't leave me.

For that night, I kept quiet so no one could hear me. I didn't want them to know I was back.