I never left the Circus, I just left traveling with it

We were standing out in the cold empty parking lot. Ryan was staring anywhere but me and he was tapping his foot and nervously cracking his fingers.

I however was pursing my lips and staring at my shoes thinking about how I shouldnt be too mad, yet I should still be upset.

Finally he cleared his throat and looked at me with pleading eyes. "Please, please just...say something Lola, you can yell at me, and hit me, just please say something..."He whispered the last part. I felt so bad, he looked like he was about to cry.

I bit my lip and looked in his eyes.

"You-you....cheated on me with your ex girlfriend."I stopped and took in a breath. "You, got so...drunk that you-you couldn't even reconize your own girlfriend..."By now tears were in my eyes. I slapped my hand on my thigh averting my eyes from his.

"And, your ninteen Ryan. Your not even legal yet."I finished, failing at trying to be angry and a few stray tears leaked out of my eyes.

He tried to wrap his arms around my shoulders but a sob escaped my throat and I threw them off while turning away. I hated people seeing me cry. I had a feeling he was crying too though.

"I know your mad..."He whisperd barely audible. I held up my hand in front of him, telling him to stop.

"Atleast you got something right tonight aye George?"I whispered angrily, tears streaming down my face and dripping off my jaw line.
"Yeah! I'm mad."I spat.

"First of all, I'm mad that you cheated on me. I dont even know what else you two were doing before I looked over."I told him.

"Second of all, I'm mad that you go so wasted when your not even of age yet."I continued halfheartedly, anger ebbing away.

"The I'm mad, besides the fact that you got drunk, im mad you didn't invite me to have any with you." I took a breath.

"And then im mad that you thought I looked like your skanky ex girlfriend. Even if it is dark."I whispered the last line; unable to stay too mad.

I heard him sigh lightly.

"So you don't hate me?"He asked in a cracked voice. I laughed lightly and shook my head rapidly. Then as an afterthought I pushed him extremely hard in the chest causing him to fall back on his butt lightly. Confusion blurred the relived expression on his face untill I offered out my hand and smiled.

"Now im not mad."I whispered hugging him. I felt his laugh vibrate through his throat.

"I couldn't be mad at you for this, I know we kinda look alike....and it was all dark and smokey in there."I admitted starting to laugh.

"But be warned, your not completely forgiven. If were ever around a lake im pushing you in it!"I threatened, kissing his cheek.

"I'll consider it a head start."He replied kissing me softly.