I never left the Circus, I just left traveling with it

Tonight was the night, I guess you could call it. The last night of tour. Tommarrow we would all be going back to our parts of the U.S. and hopefully, awaiting the next tour we would have together.

I knew for a fact that Hayley and Spencer were moving in together. Something about them had just seemed right. I couldn't place it, but I knew Spencer and Hayley were going to be together for a long long time.

I was sad that I was losing her best friend to someone who had only known for five months over her, whom she had known for ten years. But I couldn't be angry at her for finding her first love.

Little Annamarie lived in Nevada so she would get to see her boyfriend every now and then. Everyone was so shocked when they announced their status. Not the fact that they were dating, they fact that she practically screamed it one night on the bus, grinning ear to ear.

This was where I got nervous.

We hadn't talked about our future yet. I didn't know whether or not we even lived close to eachother. I lived in Oregon for christs sake!

I was pretty sure he lived down in Vegas. That wasn't very convinent.

And I didn't want to pressure him into asking me to move in with him either.

So I was silent, all through the show I kept a smile plastered on my face for my job's sake. And all through dinner and clubbing, I didn't say a word.

Hayley and Annamarie didn't bother me about it. They knew the situation I was in.

And they didn't tell me, but they felt sorry for me.

I woke up early the next morning with a stomach ache a throbbing headache knowing we'd be reaching the spot where we got off soon.

I glanced at my watch.

Soon, as in about twenty minutes. I huffed and gazed around the empty living area. God was I going to miss it.

Everything about touring, I was going to miss it. I was a performer at heart. My only regret in life was not becoming a musician, like the boys.

I laughed to myself. They made it seem easy.

Not all record labels were as thick headed as pete wentz though. I sat down sadly on the couch and opened a magazine that was laying on the coffee table as I awaited my dream to end.

A big cloud of sadness seemed to hang in the air as everyone walked off the bus with their bags in hand, the other either wrapped around a friend, or their lover that they would part with soon.

I put my hand on Hayleys shoulder as we waited outside. Her eyes were wet.

"I cant believe were not going to be living together anymore." I told her, my accent prominent. She nodded feverishly, hair bobbing around her petite face.

"You sure you can handle it without me there? I know how you get doll."She asked stroking my hair behind my ears. Something I hated, but would sorely miss about her.

I nodded and gave a sad smile. "Dont have too much fun, and when he proposes-"She tried to interupt but i covered up her mouth,"when he proposes, call me. You know where I'll be." She nodded and pulled me into a hug before running over to Spencer and catching a taxi.

A tear fell from me eye as I watched her leave my life. I wasn't too sad though, she was leaving for better. I told myself as I looked over to Ryan who was standing alone as well with his bags laying at his feet.

I walked over and scuffed a little dirt onto his vans.

"Hey."I mumbled looking at my feet. He met my gaze by pulling my chin up with his hand.

"Hey."He mimicked, brown eyes meeting my sea green ones.

Before I knew it I had my arms around him and I was poring about how much I would miss him.

I felt him nod solemnly. "I'm going to miss you too Lola, dont forget it."He whispered kissing me quickly on the mouth.

"It this, Is this ever going to happen again.?"I questioned, dreading the answer. He picked up his bags and smiled showing his white teeth.

"Of course, we'll be on tour right after our album goes out next Spring."He told me kissing my nose playfully. I giggled feeling happier.

"Dont worry, I'll be back."

And with that we exchanged no more Good bye's, no I love you's. Only one more farewell kiss before his cab arrived heading back to Las Vegas. Taking his bags, his guitar, and him, with it.

~~

A year and a half later that thought still passes her mind when she gets ready for work. She
cant help but think one day, he'll be back, apologizing and kissing her just like she used to.

But inside she knows that he's gone. Forgotten about the quick relationship he had with just another dancer.

She knows it as she walks hand in hand with Annamarie to their job dressed in embarresing clothing, revealing enough to make your grandmother cry.

She knows it as she changes in the back, hearing the intercom announce the next girl as some fancy erotic name.

She knows it, really she does.

But inside her head, as she hears her 'name' being called-

And now the British Beauty! The Green haired wonder! Dancing Lilly!

She sometimes still hears his last words that he promised her.

Dont worry, I'll be back.

She takes a shuddering breath, shaking his face out of her head, as she walks onto the stage in her green heels, blinded by the colorful lights, smiling just like she used too when she danced at her old job.

One more thought passed through her head before the music started playing and the money started being thrown.

"Ryan never came back."