Sex and Cigarettes
The woman
Have you ever felt so atrociously filthy that you just wanted to vomit your vast feeling of guilt along with your insides? I know I have.
However, I was never the sensitive type. I watched men treat me like utter shit with complete nonchalance. But their dependence amused me beyond words - I'd make them wait. Long and hard. What difference did it make if they squeezed my hips with their dirty paws? I held eternity in between my fangs.
I read them like books, yet most of the time just looking at the cover would suffice - and with just one look I knew all their obscene fantasies and raging desires. They were like toys that come to me when their batteries run out.
It's never easy, you know? I don't love what I do - I loathe it. But the longer you are in this vortex of cost-effective intercourse, the less you miss your pride once it gets swallowed by the night and the sharp, shimmering stars slice it up into tiny little pieces. And suddenly, something allegedly so holy becomes an everyday ritual.
In bed I was like a cute little puppy, I'd come running as soon as they'd snap their fingers, I wouldn't roll over without a treat, and playing dead was just pure pleasure.
Some women say you never get completely used to it, regardless of how long you've been in the business. That's a big load of bullshit. I've been a call girl for 10 years now, and believe me - it all became completely customary even before the first 365 days. It's like flushing the toilet, really - you do it so often that most of the time you don't even notice.
Prostitution gained an exceedingly bad reputation from its very beginnings. In reality it's just like any other occupation; only much more dangerous. Especially here in Vegas. Good for me I always knew how to take care of myself - not everyone had that luck. I'd read the headlines in 'The Sun'; Young Jane Doe found strangled in the dumpster. Most of them were in their late teens, some even underage. I believe that's the only thing you never get used to. All your life you think you're someone and you end up a Jane Doe? No one wants that.
Every night after work, I sit in my tub for hours - fully clothed. I never fill it. Funny how it's the time I look forward to all day - my alone time. Mostly because I'm never alone. Privacy is just one of the words that's extinct in my vocabulary. Along with love.
Sure, I get fucked - I get fucked hard. But I've never made love in my life. And I probably never will.
However, I was never the sensitive type. I watched men treat me like utter shit with complete nonchalance. But their dependence amused me beyond words - I'd make them wait. Long and hard. What difference did it make if they squeezed my hips with their dirty paws? I held eternity in between my fangs.
I read them like books, yet most of the time just looking at the cover would suffice - and with just one look I knew all their obscene fantasies and raging desires. They were like toys that come to me when their batteries run out.
It's never easy, you know? I don't love what I do - I loathe it. But the longer you are in this vortex of cost-effective intercourse, the less you miss your pride once it gets swallowed by the night and the sharp, shimmering stars slice it up into tiny little pieces. And suddenly, something allegedly so holy becomes an everyday ritual.
In bed I was like a cute little puppy, I'd come running as soon as they'd snap their fingers, I wouldn't roll over without a treat, and playing dead was just pure pleasure.
Some women say you never get completely used to it, regardless of how long you've been in the business. That's a big load of bullshit. I've been a call girl for 10 years now, and believe me - it all became completely customary even before the first 365 days. It's like flushing the toilet, really - you do it so often that most of the time you don't even notice.
Prostitution gained an exceedingly bad reputation from its very beginnings. In reality it's just like any other occupation; only much more dangerous. Especially here in Vegas. Good for me I always knew how to take care of myself - not everyone had that luck. I'd read the headlines in 'The Sun'; Young Jane Doe found strangled in the dumpster. Most of them were in their late teens, some even underage. I believe that's the only thing you never get used to. All your life you think you're someone and you end up a Jane Doe? No one wants that.
Every night after work, I sit in my tub for hours - fully clothed. I never fill it. Funny how it's the time I look forward to all day - my alone time. Mostly because I'm never alone. Privacy is just one of the words that's extinct in my vocabulary. Along with love.
Sure, I get fucked - I get fucked hard. But I've never made love in my life. And I probably never will.