Status: Complete
Lost Love
Bizarre
She looked up at me, with a puzzled look on her face. Her brows creased together, her head slightly tilted to one side, in deep thought. For one tiniest second fear crossed her eyes, but as quickly as it came it was gone.
I don’t know how I must have looked to her, but I felt in agony. So long have I waited to die to be with my Elizabeth again. But never did death come, nor did I age. Maybe this was death, but I’ve waited too long. Maybe she didn’t know who I was anymore. Maybe she’s forgotten me. I feel tears sting my eyes and my heart ache with the thought of Elizabeth never wanting me anymore. I’ve been put on this earth to love her and only her. And now, it seems I was left behind on this earth as punishment for something I do not know, never to be with Elizabeth again.
I sucked in the tears; they do not fall on my face. Reality is, Elizabeth would never come back, could never come back. I was not dead. The girl in front of me was God’s extra torment for me. An extra lashing of pain for me to carry for eternity, as it seems.
I closed my eyes facing up to the sky. I took a few deep breaths. I should leave her alone. She could not be my Elizabeth. I started to turn away from her, but her voice stopped me.
“Wait.” Was all she said, but it was enough to glue my feet to the pavement. I didn’t make any other movement. I couldn’t make myself turn to look at her. Her voice was not Elizabeth but it was sweet and calm.
She took my arm to turn be but I was stiff, so she walked over to face me. My eyes met hers. Another lashing as I stared into her honey brown eyes, they were exactly like Elizabeth’s.
“What is your name?” She was still calm but bewildered.
“William,” I manage to choke out.
The crease between her brows appeared again. I wanted to rub them away, but she was not Elizabeth and I could not allow myself to touch her. But what was she thinking so hard about? And why would she want to know my name? Did she think she knew me from somewhere?
After a moment, she finally spoke, “I…I know you. I mean, I’ve seen you in….before.”
I wonder what she was going to say before she changed her mind. How could she know me? Suddenly, her hand came up to rub in between my brows, straightening out the crease that I must have had there. My eyes widened. Why would she have done that? Why would she touch a complete stranger this way?
“My name is Josephine, but my friends call me by my middle name, Liz.” She was waiting for my response to this information.
I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t say, ‘how ironic you go by Liz and my dead wife’s name is Elizabeth. Oh, and by the way, you look exactly like her.’ But I had to say something. “Why do you go by Liz instead of Josephine or Jossie?”
“Umm, well, I’ve always liked it better then my first name. You know, you look like you’re going to be sick. Do you want to sit down?”
I did feel sick, “I think that would be a good idea.”
She half dragged me into Jackson Square* to sit on a bench. I was just looking at my hands, not knowing what to say. I concentrated on my breathing, counting every breath to calm myself. She seemed perfectly calm but there was a tiny hint of confusion in her eyes. She never did take her eyes off of me, I can feel them burning into the side of my face. I’m afraid, with her being so close to me, that if I look into her eyes again I might just black out.
After a moment she asked, “How did you know my name?”
Ah, that must have been the reason for her confusion. “You look like…like someone I know, eh, knew. Her name was Elizabeth.”
“Oh. Well, that’s strange. See, you look like someone I…know or seen before. I just never knew what his name was.” I looked at her then. She seems to be hiding something. She looked as if she was struggling with herself whether she should tell me or not, whatever it was.
“What is it?” I tried prompting her.
“No it’s too strange.”
“It can’t be as strange as thinking you’re seeing your dead wife walking around in the flesh.” Did I just say that out loud? She looks surprised, so maybe I did. “Can it?”
Her mouth fell open but she quickly closed it. Her brows furrowed together again. I saw sadness in her eyes. I don’t want her to feel sorry for me. I didn’t need that from anyone, especially her. I looked away from her then. I don’t think I want to know what she is thinking.
Finally after a long moment, she whispers “I feel like I know you be…because…I always see you in my dreams.”
That I was not prepared for.
I don’t know how I must have looked to her, but I felt in agony. So long have I waited to die to be with my Elizabeth again. But never did death come, nor did I age. Maybe this was death, but I’ve waited too long. Maybe she didn’t know who I was anymore. Maybe she’s forgotten me. I feel tears sting my eyes and my heart ache with the thought of Elizabeth never wanting me anymore. I’ve been put on this earth to love her and only her. And now, it seems I was left behind on this earth as punishment for something I do not know, never to be with Elizabeth again.
I sucked in the tears; they do not fall on my face. Reality is, Elizabeth would never come back, could never come back. I was not dead. The girl in front of me was God’s extra torment for me. An extra lashing of pain for me to carry for eternity, as it seems.
I closed my eyes facing up to the sky. I took a few deep breaths. I should leave her alone. She could not be my Elizabeth. I started to turn away from her, but her voice stopped me.
“Wait.” Was all she said, but it was enough to glue my feet to the pavement. I didn’t make any other movement. I couldn’t make myself turn to look at her. Her voice was not Elizabeth but it was sweet and calm.
She took my arm to turn be but I was stiff, so she walked over to face me. My eyes met hers. Another lashing as I stared into her honey brown eyes, they were exactly like Elizabeth’s.
“What is your name?” She was still calm but bewildered.
“William,” I manage to choke out.
The crease between her brows appeared again. I wanted to rub them away, but she was not Elizabeth and I could not allow myself to touch her. But what was she thinking so hard about? And why would she want to know my name? Did she think she knew me from somewhere?
After a moment, she finally spoke, “I…I know you. I mean, I’ve seen you in….before.”
I wonder what she was going to say before she changed her mind. How could she know me? Suddenly, her hand came up to rub in between my brows, straightening out the crease that I must have had there. My eyes widened. Why would she have done that? Why would she touch a complete stranger this way?
“My name is Josephine, but my friends call me by my middle name, Liz.” She was waiting for my response to this information.
I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t say, ‘how ironic you go by Liz and my dead wife’s name is Elizabeth. Oh, and by the way, you look exactly like her.’ But I had to say something. “Why do you go by Liz instead of Josephine or Jossie?”
“Umm, well, I’ve always liked it better then my first name. You know, you look like you’re going to be sick. Do you want to sit down?”
I did feel sick, “I think that would be a good idea.”
She half dragged me into Jackson Square* to sit on a bench. I was just looking at my hands, not knowing what to say. I concentrated on my breathing, counting every breath to calm myself. She seemed perfectly calm but there was a tiny hint of confusion in her eyes. She never did take her eyes off of me, I can feel them burning into the side of my face. I’m afraid, with her being so close to me, that if I look into her eyes again I might just black out.
After a moment she asked, “How did you know my name?”
Ah, that must have been the reason for her confusion. “You look like…like someone I know, eh, knew. Her name was Elizabeth.”
“Oh. Well, that’s strange. See, you look like someone I…know or seen before. I just never knew what his name was.” I looked at her then. She seems to be hiding something. She looked as if she was struggling with herself whether she should tell me or not, whatever it was.
“What is it?” I tried prompting her.
“No it’s too strange.”
“It can’t be as strange as thinking you’re seeing your dead wife walking around in the flesh.” Did I just say that out loud? She looks surprised, so maybe I did. “Can it?”
Her mouth fell open but she quickly closed it. Her brows furrowed together again. I saw sadness in her eyes. I don’t want her to feel sorry for me. I didn’t need that from anyone, especially her. I looked away from her then. I don’t think I want to know what she is thinking.
Finally after a long moment, she whispers “I feel like I know you be…because…I always see you in my dreams.”
That I was not prepared for.
♠ ♠ ♠
*Jackson Square is a little sort of court yard/park I guess you can say.If you want to do something kinda cool to see exactly where they are for these first two chapters.
Go to google maps
type in cafe du monde, new orleans
click on the bubble letter J
view street view -- this is exactly the spot I have William sitting under the tent watching the traffic and pedestrians.
you can bring the view around to across the street but there is a bus in the way. but if you keep going you'll see the iron fencing
now if you type in Jackson square, new orleans
bring the little man down to where the letter F is to see the street view.
you'll see the cathedral in the back ground and the iron fence there with all the local artist painting hanging up.
toward the end on the right, is where he see's Liz.
I thought this would be cool for you guys to see, whoever reads this.
comments would be great, I'd like to know what you guys think