So Make Me Promises I know You Can't Keep

I couldn’t take in what had just been said. I was confused, upset and angry all at once. I didn’t want to believe he would propose to someone he couldn’t stand.
‘‘Why is he doing that?’’ I asked bitterly.
‘‘Because he sees no future with anyone else.’’ Gerard told me.
I swallowed the bile that was travelling up my throat.
‘‘Tilly, please just tell him.’’ Rosie said sitting beside me, taking my hand in hers, squeezing it, trying to reassure me everything would go fine.
‘‘I have to.’’ I told her standing up. ‘‘And if he doesn’t feel the same, I’ve ruined my friendship and I’m going back to college.’’ I stated seriously.
I left the house with Rosie and Gerard not far behind me to see the guys and Holly sitting on his porch. For it being almost five in the morning, no one seemed to notice or care.
‘‘Frank I need to talk to you.’’ I called to him.
He turned to face me as he cradled Holly in his arms, soothing the side of her face.
‘‘I don’t know if I really want to talk to you right now, Tilly.’’ He said facing away from me.
My heart broke yet again, I didn’t know how much more of it I could take. Everything was going to be ruined for me in the space of one summer.
‘‘Frank its important.’’ Gerard spoke for me and he finally listened. He stood up and walked towards me a look of anger in his eyes.
Gerard and Rosie left to stand with Mikey and the rest of them. ‘‘I’m sorry about what I did to Holly.’’ I started, actually not meaning my apology.
‘‘I know you’re not. I’m just sorry for what she called you.’’ He told me, kicking a stone that was on the grass we were standing on.
‘‘Look, I need to tell you something, and when I do, it may ruin everything we have but I don’t care. I need to get it off my chest.’’ My breathing started to increase rapidly and my heart started to race.
‘‘What is it?’’ He asked.
‘‘I haven’t kept my promises that I made you.’’ He looked at me in confusion.
‘‘But you said you have kept them all.’’ Frank said, I could tell he was upset.
‘‘I lied Frank.’’ I told him looking to the ground.
‘‘About which one?’’ He asked me.
‘‘Go through them.’’ I mumbled.
‘‘'1.I promise never to forget my best friend Frank Iero.’ Which you didn’t because you still remember me now.
‘2.I promise never to replace him with another.’ This one I’m debating on because of Rosie.
‘3.I promise always to love Frank as my best friend and brother I never had forever.’ You do still love me as your best friend or you wouldn’t be so close so me.
‘4.I promise never to hurt Frank or ignore him when he needs me most.’ You have never hurt me or ignored me because when I have needed you, you have always been there for me.
‘5.I promise never to hate Frank.' This one I am debating on to because of Holly.’’ He finished going through each of my promises.
I shook my head at him. ‘‘You’re wrong, Frank. I haven’t replaced you with Rosie and I don’t hate you its just, I don’t love you as my brother and best friend, Frank.’’ I said, his smile dropped, his eyes filled with tears.
‘‘You don’t?’’ He asked me.
‘‘No, its so much more then that.’’ I told him just to make his eyes narrow and his eyebrows nit together in confusion.
‘‘What do you mean?’’ He asked.
‘‘If it isn’t already obvious to you, I love you, Frank. It hurts me to see you with Holly. It hurts me just seeing you stand next to her. I’ve been keeping this to myself so I don’t ruin our friendship that we do have. If you don’t feel the same way I know I have just ruined everything we ever had, that’s why I didn’t want to say anything to you.’’ My eyes searched his for some emotion or reply that he could have, but they held nothing. ‘‘I knew I shouldn’t have told you.’’ I said letting my emotions get the better of me. I started to run as fast as I could away from him so I didn’t have to look like an idiot in front of him for much longer.
‘‘Tilly wait.’’ I heard him shout, but I couldn’t, my feet wouldn’t stop.
He finally caught up with me and pulled on my arm to make me stop. He pulled me round so I was facing him and his lips crashed to mine.