Crash

He was just standing there, leaning against the outside wall of the school, staring at nothing in particular. His brown hair stood up in loose-like curls on his head and his dark eyes rested under his eyebrows. He was wearing a plain black jacket, a white shirt and jeans, and a few students who were walking by tried to catch glances at him. He was obviously new, because I’ve definitely never seen him before. Unfortunately I go to a ridiculously small school where everyone knows one another, so I’d definitely know who he was if he had been attending here.

Being blessed with living in such a small town, where there were only two absurdly small high schools, resulted in everyone knowing absolutely everything about you and were constantly aware of your private business. So it probably will come to no surprise that I was literally known as the school’s nut case. I’m definitely not teased or pushed around or anything, but I’m definitely a person that no one really enjoys being around. But I don’t really blame them. I’m an avid cigarette smoker, and I don’t give a fuck about anything. This one boy named Adam Halling tried coming up to me one day and literally asked me flat out if I’d have sex with him, which resulted in me blowing smoke in his face and kicking him in the balls, and now he stays at least 20 feet away from me at all times. That little attack on him, let’s just say, didn’t do too well for my social reputation. People try as hard as they can to stay away from me.

So, instead of going out on weekends with friends, or having fun for that matter, I usually stayed at home or took my dad’s car for a drive. I wasn’t allowed to have my own car, for obvious reasons. But my dad would sometimes hand me his keys and tell me I had thirty minutes to do whatever. He was the only person in my family who had at least some patience with me. So, I’d take the car and just drive around our forest of a town. Our town was known for its green pastures and hills and trees, trees, trees. Families loved to come here to go camping, have barbeques and sing “Kumbaya” or some bullshit like that, I don’t know. All I knew was that living in such a quiet town with nothing but winding roads and tall trees got old after like, 10 minutes.

I closed the car door and began walking towards the school, but I couldn’t take my eyes off of this boy. He looked completely in his own world, focused, like he wasn’t even aware that everyone, including myself, was watching him. I passed by him slowly, and he darted his eyes towards me, but then looked back forward. But I stood where I was and kept staring at him and until he finally moved his head to the side slowly and made full eye contact with me.

“Yes?” He asked.

“Who are you?” I asked back. He raised his eyebrows.

“I’m Micah,” He replied and then looked straight forward again. His hands, which were now in his pockets, were fidgeting around and his right leg couldn’t keep still.

“So, what's wrong with you?” I asked. He turned to me with a hint of confusion on his face.

“That’s an odd thing to ask someone you don't even know,” He replied. His voice was so smooth, and calm.

“No, I asked you that question because you can’t keep your stupid foot still,” I replied. Micah stopped and looked down at his foot and then back at me. He gave me a peculiar look, probably a little taken aback by my abrasiveness, just like everyone else was. He was just about to say something back when a group of boys ran up to him and basically tackled him.

“Dude, we got it. We fucking got it!” One of them shouted. He had long, stringy blonde hair that fell far past his shoulders, and he looked like a homeless person.

Suddenly a jeep pulled up fast with a boy with a buzzed hair cut in the driver's seat. He rolled down the passenger door window and beeped his horn frantically.

“Hurry up! Get in!” He yelled. Suddenly, there was a shout from the inside of the school and I turned around to see one of our security guards running towards our direction with his fists in the air. The group of boys laughed and jumped into the jeep. Micah stopped for a second but then turned to me and shot me a lopsided smile.

“Later,” He said and then hopped into the jeep. The jeep peeled out of the parking lot and then drove fast down the street, their loud shouting and dog-howl like noises filled the air.

I kind of just stood there in shock for a second.... What the hell was that?

I guess Micah wasn't the new kid in school after all.

-x-

Throughout that whole day at school, all I heard in every single class went along the lines of:

“Oh my god, Becky, did you like hear what happened this morning?”

“Oh my god, no, what happened?!”

“So these group of guys from Pioneer High School totally jacked Principal Truman’s ‘Educator of the Year’ trophy from his office. I guess they’re all on the football team or something... ugh I know so hot, right? So I guess they did it because our team is like playing their team this Friday. Isn’t that so awesome?”

“Wow, so awesome.”

“Ew, Becky, that crazy Peyton girl is looking over here. Look away.”

Yeah, I think that whole conversation displays for itself what I have to deal with at this school. Their conversation, which I had already overheard at least 10 times from different people, for some reason still interested me. I was there when this had happened, sort of, so it was pretty cool to know that I was somehow related to this huge scandal. I guess the police were investigating it, and were trying to get down certain names to charge them with theft. I honestly think this whole thing is pretty hilarious. Do the police have nothing better to do than investigate a group of high school boys who stole a dumb trophy from their rival school? Really?

“Peyton, why didn’t you call me last night like I asked you to?"

A boy's voice interrupted my thoughts and I looked up from my desk to see Tyler Harrison staring at me. His light brown eyes were darting back and forth between my blue ones. His pupils were unbelievably dilated and his hand was twitching.

“Tyler,” I said with a sigh. “Honestly, it was a one time thing. Leave me alone.”

Tyler’s dirty blonde hair fell into his eyes and he pushed it away with his weird, girly looking, bony hands. His scary thin frame sat down in the desk by me. I just looked down at my hands, which were fidgeting with a ball of paper.

“I gave you Valium,” Tyler said angrily.

“Yes, and I touched your penis, now leave me alone,” I muttered. A few girls snickered, overhearing my comment, but I just ran my fingers through my dark brown hair, not really caring.

When I was in middle school I had to see my therapist almost four days a week, and I was told that I needed to try my best to go with the flow, and try to fit in. It was a way for me to be ‘normal’ I guess, or whatever that is. I honestly thought I was normal. But my first therapist, Dr. Wrigley told me otherwise. So I went to school every day, dressing the way everyone wanted me to, acting the way everyone wanted me to. It made absolutely no difference. And if you push something so much, it gets to the point where it’s backed up against the wall and there’s really nothing more you can push. I was trying so hard to fit in to the point where I just realized it would never work. I would never work. So, I became a hardass. I hated everything and everyone and now I’m a bitter and blunt ice queen and to be completely honest with you, it’s so much more fun being this way.

Tyler frowned and slithered his way back to his seat in the back of his classroom with the other burnouts. I wasn’t one of them, I wasn’t. I just enjoyed a few prescription pills and some random shit to make me feel better about the world every now and then. I didn’t have any money, so I had to resort to doing other things to pay for what he could offer me.

I think it’s obvious that I don’t quite hold myself to very high standards. And I don’t think anyone can ever change that.

The bell rang loudly, causing me to cover my ears for a second until it was over. I grabbed my books and walked out of my last period classroom and into the student parking lot where my brother was sitting in his car, waiting for me with an irritated look on his face. I opened the passenger door and got inside. He immediately started the car and pulled out of the parking lot.

“Aw, is someone angry because the other school’s football team dissed your butt grabbing, boy loving football squad?” I asked.

“Peyton,” Kingston said angrily while clutching the steering wheel and gritting his teeth. He stopped himself and took a deep breath, while staring at the road.

"What, Kingston?" I replied, with a faux tone of innocence.

"I miss when you were normal," He muttered under his breath. Distain dripped from his voice. I opened my mouth to say something back, but nothing really came out at all. I shrunk in my seat a little and then leaned my head against the window, watching green tree after green tree pass by, causing everything to blur like a watercolor painting.

“Me too,” I mumbled. Kingston didn’t hear me.

We didn’t talk for the rest of the ride.