God Knows I Need An Angel Like You

Sitting on the front porch of my house I watch cars pass me by. Usually I would wonder about where they would be heading off to but today I wondered why everyone was so a rush.

"Where's the fire?" I said quietly to myself.

It was around eleven in the morning and the sun was shinning. It hadn't start snowing yet which surprised me. It might have not been snowing but it was kind of chilly. The birds were singing and the small animals were gathering anything they could get their little paws on to eat. I looked over to my left where there was this old tree stump and on that stump there was a squirrel holding an acorn. The little rusty colored squirrel looked up at me as I took out my camera. It didn't move as the flash went off, it only left when I put my camera back in my bag. I was at ease.

My morning was perfect, I hadn't felt like this in a while. I sighed contently and took out my blue Ipod nano and brushed my thumb on the click wheel to choose a song. I fell on something I hadn't listened to in a while, River Flows In You by Yiruma. It was a soft melody played on piano, it was beautiful. It's amazing how a song with no speech could touch someone so deeply. It could make a grown man cry, seriously. As I listened closely to the sound of the keys, I began to close my eyes.

I imagined my mom, my dad, my grandmother Denise, my uncle Norman, my aunt France, Gabriel my old secret love, Christine my old best friend whom I missed so much. I had also imagined some of my other friends and some other family members. It was beautiful, I had pictured everyone I loved sitting down for a picnic in a meadow. The sun was shining and everyone looked so happy. It almost felt real. The song was coming to a close so I slowly opened my eyes and took a deep breath of fresh air.

I wondered how their lives were now that I was gone. Probably improved, although I most likely have left a big mark on all of them. I shook my head to fight away my negativity, I was determined to have a good day. I glanced down to check the time on my Ipod, could it really be two thirty-eight pm already? No, of course not, it couldn't be. I mean, I haven't been out here for long, right? Just as I was having an internal fight with myself about it not being two thirty in the afternoon, Tash came bouncing towards me with her backpack at hand.

"What are ya' doing, doll face?" Said Tash with her right hand on her hip.

"Apparently, nothing." I said blankly, my day just flew right past me. She laughed as she took a seat next to me on the cement steps.

"So you're telling me that you just sat here all day?" I nodded with the same blank expression.

Tash looked at me, rolled her eyes, took her hair out of the ponytail, stood up and pulled me up to my feet. We walked to her house and decided to eat something. I was dead hungry, I hadn't even eaten yet.

"Eggs?" Ew.

"Toast?" Eww.

"Cereal?" Ewww.

"Well?" Tash was giving me food ideas but she got no where by naming those atrocious things.

"Any apples, carrots or celery stalks around?" I asked now sitting on her granite top kitchen counter, swaying my legs back and forth as I watched her scan her brand new stainless steel refrigerator for my kind of food.

"You're in luck my dear," She said as she showed me a bag of baby carrots.

"That's all I got in the vegetable department." She threw the bag at me then walked over to the phone. She wrote stuff down on a post-it, I assumed it was what they needed to buy at the grocery store so in other words it was a shopping list.

"We need to go get some more food before Jay gets home from Ryan's house." Who?

"Who's Ryan, Jay-Jay's boyfriend?" I asked now imagining Jay's face if he would have been here to hear this.

"Jay isn't gay, hun." I cocked an eyebrow and smiled with amusement.

"Are you sure about that darling?" I studied her red face, I could tell that she really wanted to laugh but if she did, I'd win. Again.

"Of course I am!" She said loudly waving her arms in the air pretending to be exasperated like her brother.

"So where exactly are they in that Ryan dude's house?" I asked wiggling my eyebrows and devilish smile.

"In his room?" She answered completely not getting my immature point.

"I rest my case." I said getting off the counter and walking towards the door. Tash stood there confused by my immaturity, it was only a matter of seconds before she would understand.

"Five, four, three, two, one.." I said leaning on the front door.

"Oh. Oh god! I get it!" She finally exclaimed.

Can someone tell me the name of the chick that did that speech about blondes not being dumb? I think she forgot something vital in her research. I laughed quietly to myself as we walked into the garage.

"That was soo mean." She said once we were in her ice blue Mercedes.

Once we drove out of the garage and everything was silent. Obviously not for very long, we had both had a laughing fit all the way to grocery store. Inside the store I examined the list; milk, bread, eggs, apples, carrots, onions, coke, orange juice, 7-up, toilet paper, tampons, dishwasher soap, hand sanitizer and gum. Not a very long list, this shouldn't take very long.

"Okie dokie so milk and eggs along with the coke, 7-up and o.j are that way," she said pointing north, "apples, carrots and onions are that way next to the bread." She said pointing east this time.

"I'll go east, 'kay?" She nodded and went on her way.

I picked up a basket and I walked towards the bread section and picked up the cheapest one I could find and proceeded towards the vegetable section. I picked up a bag of red onions and two bags of baby carrots, they were on sale so why not? Once it came to choosing the apples I got picky. I would pick one up, inspect it to make sure that there wasn't any bruises, nicks or bug holes then if it was potentially edible I would look at the size and price. No, I don't think I'm the Queen of England but I don't want to eat bruised up, nicked up and bug infested apples, if you do fine, just don't do it around me. Do it on fear factor, okay?

I had gotten everything on my side of the list so I had decided to just go ahead and get the rest. So now I needed to get; toilet paper, hand sanitizer, dishwasher soap, gum and tampons. Easy as cheese. The first isle only contained two things I needed, hand soap and dish soap. I took the cheapest bottle of dishwasher soap off the shelf and continued on with my fast-pace shopping.

The second isle contained nothing I needed so I sprinted right through it and made a sharp 'U' turn into the third isle that had the toilet paper and tampons. The toilet paper was obviously easy it was the tampons that created a slight dilemma. I really needed Tash for this since they were for her and not me. Where was she? I mean she only had to get milk and eggs with coke, 7-up and o.j, not the whole list. What was taking her so long? I was starting to get nervous and things were getting a little fast, the images hadn't started yet but they were just about to.

"Where is she?" I asked myself alone in the isle as I rapidly tapped my foot.

I knew that just waiting here wouldn't have done anything to I had decided to look for her before I black out because of my anxiety. I began to run up and down each isle of the store desperately looking for Tasha..

If only I had seen and heard her calling me from the cash registers. I was wallowing away as it engulfed me. I swear I could feel it swallowing me and digesting me. I was too panicked to realize that she right in front of me, trying to shake me out of my attack.

"For Christ's sake Sia snap out of it!" She yelled but I continued to panic and hyperventilate.

Like they say, drastic moments call for drastic measures. She slapped me right across the face. Slowly but surely I reacted and started to be less panicked and started to breathe normally again, by now you could already guess that there had been an accumulating crowd watching some pretty girl freak out over what seemed to be nothing at all.

"I-I'm s-sorry I-I c-couldn't find y-you.." I said trying to regulate my tone but I was still just calming down not to mention that I was still wheezing.

"I know, I know, it's okay." She said trying to make me relax.

I noticed that she looked slightly frightened but mostly concerned. I didn't mean to scare anyone, really, I didn't. These things happen when I realize that something isn't right like the cause of this attack was the fact that she was taking an awfully long time to do quick simple thing and then when I started looking for her I couldn't find her. The exact cause was the fear of her being hurt or being in danger.

"Come on, let's go pay for the stuff." She said putting her left arm around my shoulders so I would actually move. She paid cash to be quick and went on our way home as fast as you can say 'shizzeet'.

Once inside her house I noticed that Jay was sitting down on the same red love seat I sat on yesterday. He was reading some book and he seemed pretty interested in it. By now I was completely normal so I didn't have to worry about embarrassing myself in front of him by wheezing on him. I was staring again. I seem to that often now a days, I think Tash might have caught up on that.

"What are ya looking at now?" She asked trying to break my attention away from her brother. I have no idea why exactly I answered her with this but, wow. I'm a real comedian sometimes.

"Elmo and friends." I said in a disturbingly cheery voice.

Tash didn't laugh. Oh yes, I was indeed being sarcastic about being a 'comedian' because I'm the least funny person on this entire planet and I can prove it but I won't unless you really want to die of blandness.

Tash gave me a serious look as she glanced at what I was looking at. She let out an infuriated yet irritated grunt and grabbed my arm as she dragged me into her room.

"Okay. Care to tell me why you keep on staring at my goddamn brother!?" Said Tash looking quite angry, I couldn't help but feel guilty at that moment.

"I uh," I tried to come up with something other than 'Oh I think your brothers' gorgeous and I really really like him.' But I had nothing, nothing at all. I was half glad that she decided to cut me off leaving me without needing to 'explain'.

"Don't you know that he's a cocky cheating backstabber? He constantly cheated on the last girlfriend he had! Honestly Sia, he's not the type of guy you need!" I knew she was right but there was a good side to that boy, I know because I got a taste of it.

Like yesterday when he had rushed to my aid. If he really was as bad as Tash says he wouldn't have ever helped me like that. He would have most likely laughed and walk by me leaving me in tremendous pain. I don't recall him just leaving me there to rot.

"I know, I know. I wasn't planning on going out with anyways so relax." Tried my best not to show my irritation towards her accusations and it worked. She relaxed and soften and lowered her voice. I was terribly happy that she decided to just ditch the topic and turn on the television.

We had watched cartoons for the rest of the day. The only show I remember watching till the end before falling asleep in her bed was an episode of SpongeBob SquarePants. I love that show. I have two pairs of SpongeBob pyjamas, you know? Oh, wait, of course you wouldn't know.. Anyways, Tash woke me up at around ten forty-five pm, she had fallen asleep too. So I dragged my lazy ass back home just to get yelled at. Wonderful.