Facing The Future

One thing I hate about red wine is the hangover! We’d only drank two bottles between us and I felt like there was someone inside my head smashing a hammer against my forehead.

It was 9:30am and after my second cup of black coffee, I still felt like total crap. Amelia hadn’t even risen from her pit yet. Luckily neither of us had any lectures today. Wednesday was always free period for both of us and yes, I know what you’re thinking, “Bloody hell, do they ever go to lectures?” Yes we do but a lot of our learning goes hand in hand with self discipline. When not going to lectures, we do still have homework to do, although that was the last thing on my mind at the moment.

I sat at the dining table nursing my third cup of coffee (note to self: must stop drinking copious amounts of black coffee) of the morning when the phone shrilly rang to life. I held my head whilst getting up from my chair and walked over to the phone. I hated that phone; how dare it make such a noise. After cussing under my breath I put the receiver to my ear.

“Hullo,” I said. I was not in the mood for niceties.

“Hey Sis!” the chirpy, happy and at this moment in time, intensely irritating voice of my sister, Alexandra was just too much to bear.

“Hey.” I mumbled back.

“Bloody hell, what’s wrong with you?” she asked, “You got out of the wrong side of the bed or something?”

“Something.” I replied, “Anyway, what do you want? I’m assuming this isn’t a social phone call? You’re normally after something if you phone.” My Sister communicated completely through text message or IM normally. I knew when she was after something.

“Jeez Louise,” she said. That was one of my sister’s little Alexandra-isms for when she was fed up with me, “I’m only phoning to say Hi and see how you are,” she said, laying on the guilt.

“Yeah, right,” I replied, “And when do you think I was born? Yesterday? Come on, out with it – what do you want?”

“Oh, ok then...... God almighty,” she huffed. Alex hated it when she knew I was right. “Mom’s asked me to phone you. She wants you to come round for dinner on Friday night.”

“Ok,” I replied, “but why couldn’t she ask me this herself Alex?”

“Well, I don’t know do I? I’m not a mind reader.” There was something she was holding back on. She just wasn’t the best at lying to put it plainly.

“You don’t know?” I pried, “You sure about that? Really sure?” Once again, I’d gotten to her.

“Ooh, I hate you sometimes Molly, I really do!” she shouted and I could see her throwing a tantrum on the other end of the line.

“No you don’t,” I said, “You love me and you think I’m the best Sister in the universe!” I held back giggles.

“Yeah, whatever.” She said nonchalantly.

“Now come on, spit it!” I said.

“Well, you asked for it,” she said, ready to reel off the information without taking a breath, “If you must know, Mom asked me to ask you because she was afraid you’d turn her down.” I held the phone away from my ear and looked at it, shocked.

“What the......? Why would she think that? I’m not some kind of ogre you know?” I was saddened that my own Mother was afraid to ask me such a simple question.

“I know you’re not an ogre,” Alex said, “I think it’s just that now you’ve been living on your own for so long, you don’t seem to speak to her anywhere near as much as you used to when you first moved out and I know she doesn’t want to be seen as a clingy, over-demanding Mom. Don’t be mad with her. I think she just wants her eldest daughter back a little. I think she thinks you don’t need her anymore.”

I would have to agree that I had somewhat neglected my ‘eldest daughter’ duties. Admittedly, I hadn’t really spoken to my Mom, properly, for over a month now. There was a time when I used to speak to her every day. I’d emailed her and text her but things had been so busy lately with Uni and work that I had forgotten about her a little. How awful is that? The fact that she and Dad were funding my independence really should have made that hit home. Bloody hell, now I felt really dreadful.

“Oh Alex, you’re right.” I said, trying to swallow the lump that was forming in my throat. “I’m a crappy daughter and I’m selfish and I don’t deserve what they do for me.” I was crying now. Part of it was because I didn’t want my Mom to feel like this; part of it was the guilt of knowing that Alex was right. As much as she could be downright irritating sometimes, she was still a very bright girl. She could read the whole family like books.

“You are not a ‘crappy’ daughter Molly.” She consoled, “You’ve just got your independence and maybe you feel you can’t keep phoning Mommy and Daddy for support. You’re really just trying to show them that you can stand on your own two feet.” Why was she always so bloody spot on?

“Yes, maybe you’re right, but it’s no excuse to lock them out of my life.”

“I’m sure you haven’t done it intentionally Sis,” Alex said, “but please say you’re not doing anything this Friday night?”

“No, I’m not. What time shall I come round?” I asked.

“No particular time Sis,” she replied, “You know the score here: anytime is the right time.” She assured me, “Oh and Mom did say you could ask Amelia if you want too as well. How is she by the way?”

“Well Alex, I was going to tell you all anyway, but I suppose now is as good a time as any.”

“Oh Christ Mol, is she ok? Has anything happened?” Alex asked, sounding truly concerned.

“Yes, something has happened Sis, but it’s not terrible. Well, that’s to say it is and it isn’t.”

“What is it then?” she asked.

“Amelia has moved in with me. She was having major problems at home with her Mom and step Dad and to cut a long story short, I’ve rescued her. She’s upstairs in bed, fast asleep.”

“Aw, Mol. Well she couldn’t have a better friend than you. You’re amazing, you know that? You look after everyone else before yourself. That’s why you’re the greatest Sister ever and that’s why I love you so much.” I could feel Alex’s beaming smile through the phone. I was really crying now. I couldn’t speak I was sobbing that much.

“Mol. You there honey?” she asked.

“Yes, I’m here. Sorry Sis, I just got a bit emotional for a minute there. Tell Mom we’ll be over on Friday and tell her we’ll be staying over. That way we can have a proper girly night without worrying about late night taxi rides.”

“She will LOVE that Mol, she really will. So will I too of course.” Alex said excitedly.

“Well, it’s about time I spent some good quality time with you all and it won’t end on Friday; this is just the beginning.”

“Cool Sis, that’s fantastic. I’ve got to go now, but I really look forward to seeing you on Friday night. Love you Sis. Love you loads.”

“Love you too Alex,” I said with sincerity, “see you on Friday. Be good.”

“You too,” she said and then I let her hang up.

My hangover had slowly lifted and I felt like my usual self again. After what had happened to Amelia, I realised now just how precious family is. There’s no way I will ever let anyone of them down again. I needed them and they needed me, no matter what. It was time to start over with them again and make sure we’d always be there for each other and hopefully, Amelia would also have a ready-made family to welcome her into the fold.