Never Easy

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There had never been a time in her life that Callie was thankful for a dentist appointment, but today would be marked as the first. The beige walls covered with exotic paintings was actually somewhat comforting as she sipped her Starbucks coffee.

It was one of those rare mornings that Callie could sleep in on a school day due to the fact of her regular dental checkup. Her appointment was only at 9:30 so she slept woke up three hours later than when she normally would to get ready for school.

She took another sip of her Starbucks coffee and let the scorching drink touch her lips. Despite the fact she had gotten extra hours of sleep, she was still exhausted. Yesterday had emotionally drained her and she hadn’t got much sleep last night.

The thought of last night was enough for a knot in her stomach. Before she could even begin to dwell on yesterday’s events, her attention was diverted to the assistant who called her name. Sighing, Callie stood up and walked over to the door that led back to the actual offices.

To her relief, her dentist was running late causing for her to stay for an extra twenty more minutes than planned. She ended up watching the Good Morning America show for almost an entire hour as she patiently waited for her dentist to finish cleaning her teeth.

By the time she left the dentist office, it was already 10:30. As she stepped out of the dentist office, she was met by blinding sunlight. It was a clear day outside with absolutely no clouds in sight. The sight was deceiving since the weather outside was brisk and chilly.

Because it was later in the morning, there wasn’t much traffic for Callie to encounter. She made it to school in about half the time it usually took her. As she pulled into her assigned parking spot in the school parking lot and parked the car, she took a deep breath.

Since yesterday evening, she had been dreading going to school. She knew that everybody would have been told about what happened after practice. And based on high school drama, she was certain that it was going to be talked about all day and for the next few days, or at least till Homecoming was over.

Callie sighed. There was no way she could avoid going to school today. She was going to have to face the music whether she wanted to or not. With her tote bag on her right shoulder, she slowly walked to the entrance of the school.

Instead of walking straight through the next set of doors like she usually did, she turned right and walked into the main office to sign herself in and receive a pass to get her into class.

She smiled at the secretary behind the desk and asked where she was to sign in. As she was writing her late pass, Callie reached into her bag and took out a pen and signed her self in on the clipboard that was set above. Just as she finished writing the time, she heard the other set of doors open. Not thinking much about it, she didn’t bother to check who had walked into the office.

The secretary handed her the late pass and Callie quickly thanked her. She turned around and began walking to the other set of doors that led to the school. Just as she tossed her pen into her bag, Callie looked up. She instantly regretted doing so because her entire body froze.

There standing in front of her was the last person she wanted to see today. But there he was, standing right in front of her with the same expression on his face as he looked at her. Neither of them made a move but instead stared at each other. It seemed as if the few seconds that were passing by was really an eternity.

“Joe, come on inside.” Both of them broke eye contact with each other and turned towards Coach Haggland who was standing outside the athletic office. Joe took one more glance at Callie before walking towards his coach’s office and didn’t look back once.

Her heart was pounding as she watched his body disappear into the athletic office. Slowly, she made her way to the doors and exited the main office. All the thoughts that had been muddled in her head seemed to rush forward and conquer all her thinking.

Last night had been one of the worst days of her life. Everything that she had been afraid that would happen, did happen. She had done so much to make it to this point and now it seemed to all tumble down into nothing.

Technically, it wasn’t down to nothing. She knew that she had become Homecoming Princess and she finally earned her place on the cheerleading squad. She didn’t know what her friends were going to think about her now, but she did have the friends that were on the cheerleading squad, even if it was a little amount.

But there was so much more negative results than there were positive. Though her reputation was at stake here, there was one result that outweighed everything else, positive or negative.

Callie had hurt Joe.

There was no other way around it. She had deceived and lied to him all throughout their relationship. The expression on his face when he finally realized what Amanda had told him was the only thing that had replayed in her head the night before.

She hadn’t even bothered trying to call him last night and try to at least explain some things because she knew it would be no use. If she had been in his position, she was one hundred percent sure that she would have wanted nothing to do with herself.

Callie wanted to make everything better. She truly did. Because right now, everything that she had done just so she could feel accepted, didn’t seem worth it anymore. She had lost something so precious to her and now it was out of her hands.

Joe had probably been the best thing that happened to her. He made her feel special and she was always her happiest when she was around him. Their relationship had progressed to so much more than her other relationships and now it was completely gone.

Regret was the only thing that she was feeling right now. She regretted that she had ever hurt Joe and regretted that she had let her stupid pride take over her judgment. She couldn’t put the blame on anybody but herself. It was all her fault and she knew it.

Callie twisted the dial on her locker and pulled it open. A flyer slipped out and she bent down to pick it up. Homecoming Game vs. Williams High School @ 7pm! Come out and support the Firebirds! She bit her lip as she read the flyer. The game was this Friday which meant it was only a couple days away since today was Tuesday.

She glanced at the digital clock that was on the wall and saw that they were in fourth bell and proceeded to take out her fourth and fifth bell books. She shut her locker and made her way to her class. Stopping outside of the classroom door, she took a deep breath before twisting the door handle.

All eyes turned to her as everyone checked to see who the late student was. Callie’s eyes darted around the classroom before walking over to her teacher and handing him the late pass. She was thankful that her seat was in the back of the classroom and away from prying eyes.

Class ran smoothly, much to her relief. But it was when Callie exited the classroom and into the chaotic hallways that she could tell things were different. Heads turned her way as people pointed to her and whispered to their friends about what happened. As soon as she made eye contact with anybody, they looked away and pretended that they weren’t talking about her.

She was surprised that a few of her friends did end up saying hello to her. From the looks on their faces, she could tell that they knew and they would end up talking about everything later. She could imagine all the things that were being said about her and she couldn’t bear to hear them.

By the time lunch time rolled around, Callie knew the whole school was informed of yesterday’s dramatic practice. It hadn’t taken long for her to get tired of all the staring and pointing but she knew it wasn’t going to end any time soon.

Callie was hesitant when she entered the lunchroom. Joe was in this lunch and it had already been awkward enough when they encountered each other this morning, not to mention heart aching.

She reached her usual lunch table and sat down with her friends. The looks on their faces immediately told her that she was in hot water with them. Lunch was spent her telling her friends her side of the story and hopefully gaining forgiveness from them. They were on her side but they made it freely known that what she had done wasn’t the best.

“Have you talked to him yet?” Jess asked.

Callie shook her head. “I’m afraid that he’s not going to listen to me. Everybody’s talking about it and all he’s going to be hearing is what a terrible person I am, which is true. But I don’t think he’s going to want to hear my side of the story.”

“You should talk to him,” Miranda suggested. “I don’t like what you did, but Joe was the best thing that happened to you. Don’t lose him.”

The rest of the day passed by just like the morning had. Callie gave up in trying to listen in on what people were saying about her and just ignored them. The only person she wanted to listen to was Joe and she knew that was going to be close to impossible.

Cheerleading practice was right after school as usual and she knew it was going to be intense today. She walked slowly to the girls locker room and when she entered, she could feel many pairs of eyes on her.

Amanda was talking to her friends and when she saw Callie, she didn’t even bother talking to her. The smirk that was tossed her way was enough said. To her, it was as if she won and nothing could stop her now.

Callie quietly talked to a couple of the other girls who had befriended her early on in the season. She decided to stick with them today because she knew that if she left their protection, she was completely vulnerable to everyone else’s wrath.

Walking over to one of the mirrors, Callie pulled her hair up in to a ponytail. As she fixed her t-shirt, she looked at herself with a sad smile. What had she become? She was a different person than she was a few months ago but she wasn’t sure if that was the person she wanted to become.

She plastered a smile on her face before following the other girls out the back door and towards the practice fields. Just as the cheerleaders were walking out, a few football players walked out of the boys’ locker room at the same time.

Chatter quickly filled the air as everyone began talking to one another. Callie kept to herself in the back of the group and searched for just one person. She was disappointed to see that he wasn’t there but then quickly regained hope when she saw one more person leave the boys locker room.

He hadn’t noticed her yet and had bent down to tie his shoelace. Miranda’s words echoed in her head and Callie knew that now was her chance to talk to him. The groups ahead of her had already started walking to the practice fields together. Making her decision, she slightly jogged over to where he was leaning down.

“Can we talk?” Callie asked softly.

Startled, Joe looked up to see who was next to him. His look of surprise quickly changed to disapproval. He stared at her for a couple seconds as if he was debating what to say before he replied.

“I don’t want to talk to you,” he simply said.

Callie watched him walk away from her before she realized that she was losing him. She ran up to him and grabbed his arm. “I know you don’t want to talk to me, but please just listen to me.”

He stopped in his tracks and sharply turned around. Callie stepped back in slight shock as she stared into his eyes. She had never seen them like this before. Usually they were light, playful and always joking. But now they were dark and full of hatred and unpleasant.

“Did you not hear me the first time? I don’t want to talk to you,” Joe snapped. “Nothing is ever going to make me forgive you so please stop trying.”

With that said, he turned around and jogged over to the practice fields where the rest of his teammates were waiting for him. Callie stood where she was in complete shock. She knew going in that talking to him would probably be a lost cause, but she hadn’t expected this much of a reaction.

Callie let out a shaky breath as she tried to calm herself down. All she wanted to do now was go home and sleep away all the horrid memories that were starting to fill up her thoughts. But she couldn’t. Instead she had to endure another strenuous cheer practice where she would be pushed to her limits.

It was ironic how cheerleading had been the cause of getting her into this mess and yet, it was the only thing that was comforting her right now. Despite everything that had happened, her love for cheerleading hadn’t changed. It was the only thing that she knew that would keep her life in balance, even if it was for a little while.

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A yawn escaped Callie’s mouth as she quietly walked through the empty hallways. This was the earliest she had ever been to school. It was about 6:30 in the morning and the only people she could see were some of the faculty and barely any students. She passed by the first locker bay and instead of turning into it where her locker was located, she walked passed it and turned into the third locker bay down the hall.

There was only one sole reason that she was here at school this early. She glanced around to see if anybody else was in the area of the school and when she confirmed that nobody was, she walked over to the corner of the locker bay and stood in front of H194.

Racking her brain, Callie remembered the three numbers that were needed to open up the locker. To her relief, it snapped open on the first try. A wave of sadness washed over her as she saw that the inside door of the locker had been ripped away of the one picture of her and Joe that had been there before.

A small smile crept on her face as she saw how messy Joe’s locker was. Papers were all over the place and binders were mindlessly tossed in there. She shoved aside some of the lone papers to find some empty area. Reaching into her tote bag, Callie pulled out a square folded note and gently placed it in the front.

As she walked away from his locker, Callie knew that this was her last hope to fix everything that she had ruined.