Dear Zacky
1/1
Dear Zacky,
I remember the first time I laid eyes on you. You’re purple hair shone in the dim sun light. It was cold for California, but you didn’t seem to mind it. I was standing just outside the school gate waiting for my girlfriend, I had something important to tell her. I never got the chance to tell her what I wanted too; you got in the way, I mean that literally.
You tripped on your untied shoe lace and fell right in between the two of us. Before I could to tell her anything she told me goodbye and that she cheated, I was heart broken. But you, Zachary James Baker, smiled and asked if I was all right. Me being the slightly stupid one, thought that you meant you falling. “Yeah, I’m good, but you’re the one that fell.” Was my reply.
You laughed and told me that you were talking about Lily breaking up with me. I was dumbfounded. I could not believe that you were more concerned about me than you were your skinned knee; I hadn’t caught you in time, but you didn’t seem to notice the blood dripping from the wound.
I could only shake my head. You gave me another sad smile and asked if I wanted to do something. I thought for a second, school had just finished and I had nothing to do but dwell upon the fact that Lily cheated; so I said yes. Little did I know that the next three hours would be the best in my life.
Your mother yelled a ‘hi sweetie’ from the living room. Than she appeared from beyond the corner. She awed at the sight of me making you blush. “Sweetie, who’s your new friend?” Kindness dripping from her words like you didn’t really bring many people home.
“Mom, this is Brian. Brian this is my mom.” You said quickly. Before you could usher me away your mother asked you a question. Your face instantly went pale at her words.
“Have you told him yet?”
“Told me what?” I asked quietly, so only you could hear.
“Mom, c-can I talk to you alone for a sec?” You gave me a sorry smile and grabbed your mothers arm and dragged her into the living room.
I stood by the corner, silently listening.
“Mom, please don’t ruin this for me. He doesn’t know, and I don’t want him too.” Your voice coming out more broken than I thought it could.
“Zacky, you have to tell him sometime. The reaction is just going to be worse the longer you wait.”
“Please, don’t tell him. I don’t know how I can tell him, I don’t know how he’ll react to me telling him I’m gay.” My mouth fell open. The only thoughts running though my heard were ‘Should I run? Or stay?’ I already knew I was going to stay.
I walked out from my hiding spot. Words coming from my mouth, “I don’t care.” You and your mother looked at me shocked.
“Y-you heard us?” You asked looking at the sandy brown carpet.
“Yes, I needed to know what you didn’t want to tell me, I’m sorry. But I really don’t care. In the thirty two minutes I’ve known you nothing could make me want to turn back on friendship now.” The smile on my face must have been contagious because you were smiling right back at me.
Two years later, we were as close as two people could get without dating. I was hiding something from you though. I was starting to feel weird. Everything about you, everything I had never noticed before, lit up. I would notice the way your eyes would scream love when you seen your new boyfriend. How they were perfect, each having a mixture of gray, green, and hazel. The way your lips looked so… kissable.
I didn’t know till later what I was feeling.
My heart stung with jealousy, my eyes holding back tears, every time I seen you with Alex. I started hanging out with you less and less as he began to be around more often. You would call and I could hear his breathing, it was different from yours. I’d hear you let out a little giggle as he’d kiss your neck. You would always say a few words before getting carried away with him again. While you were having your fun, my tears would engulf my face. I’d quickly say bye and hang up.
Three weeks later, I gave up on everything. You didn’t call anymore, every time I’d see you he was there. I couldn’t believe that you loved him. I couldn’t believe I loved you. I started writing about you, staying in my room more often. Eventually my dad started to notice that I wasn’t the fun loving kid I had been. He’d try to ask me what was going on, but I couldn’t say it. I didn’t know how he’d react and it hurt too much to talk about. He would ask about you; where you were, how you were doing. My reply was always the same; I don’t know, now please leave me alone.
He couldn’t just sit there and watch his only son fall further and further into depression. So he called your mother. He knocked on my door at ten thirty two P.M, and told me that he knew everything. I could only look at him in disbelief. “Brian, I know why you stay in here all the time. You always look like you’re in pain when I talk about Zack, I know why. So please, tell me yourself.” His voice getting closer until he was sitting next to me on the bed. I looked up.
“Dad, I think… I really like him.” My tears finally showing themselves to someone other than myself. “All he ever does is spend time with Alex. He doesn’t care anymore. I-I don’t know what to do.”
“Alex left Zacky the other day. Lyn told me that he’s really upset about it. He needs a friend Brian. She said he hasn’t come downstairs in three days. That he hasn’t eaten anything in about six. When she knocks on his door, he asks if it you, hope in his voice. Just call him, it’ll make both of you happy.”
“Alex did what…” Was all I could say. I never thought that he’d be able to hurt you. Dad tossed me the phone and I quickly dialed your familiar number.
“Hello?” Your mother said into the receiver.
“Hi Lyn. Is Zacky around?” My voice cracking with emotion.
“Oh Brian, you have no idea how much he misses you. Hang on a sec, I’ll get him.” I heard foot steps climbing the stairs. “Zacky, phone.” She said to a closed door.
I heard your squeaky door open, and your broken voice filled my left ear.
“Hello?”
“Oh my god, Zacky are you okay?” My best friend antics kicking in.
“Brian?” There was something about the way you would say my name that just drove me crazy.
“Yeah Zee, it’s me.”
“Will you come over? Like right now?” The broken boy on the other end needed my help, and I wasn’t about to say no.
“I’m coming. Hold in there, I’ll be there in ten minutes.” You gave your reply and hung up. I tossed the phone at my dad and grabbed a bag and filled it with some clothes. I told dad that I was going to your house, he nodded and let me go. I ran down the street and towards your house. I turned a normal ten minute walk, into a three minute sprint. I was drenched in sweat.
When I knocked on the door you opened it. As soon as I seen you, I lunged forward and captured you in my arms. I whispered sweet nothings in your ear as your tears stained my sweat soaked shirt.
“Lets get you something to eat.” I said once you calmed down. You nodded, your hair falling in your face. I leaned toward you, gently brushing it away. A soft smile emerged on both of our faces.
After you ate we went up to your room. I took my place on the floor while you laid on the bed.
“Brian?” Your voice so low I almost missed it.
“Yeah Zack?” Silence filled the room for a few minutes.
“Will you sleep with me?” I smiled, one of the biggest smiles I have ever smiled, and climbed into your bed. You snuggled into my chest. As if it were meant to be, you took my hand and placed it around your waist. I tightened my grip, not wanting to let you go. “Good night Brian.” I heard you mumble something after that, but I missed it.
After I knew you were fully asleep, I kissed the top of your head.
“Good night Zacky. I love you.”
I woke up to your lips almost pressed against mine. I heard a quite moan escape from your perfect lips. Your morning wood pressing against my leg. A soft whimper and my name filled my ears. I froze, were you dreaming of me?
As if answering my question, your lips pressed firmly against mine. I closed my eyes and slightly pushed back. The moment was ruined when you woke up. You pulled away, looking at me with frightened eyes. You got up and left the room. I looked around for something to write on.
It’s sad to say that this pain,
Is killing my inside.
But it’s sad to say that this pain,
Is keeping me alive.
Twisting and turning it rips,
Through my heart.
It’s been tearing me apart.
I tossed the paper on the floor, letting my tears fall freely. Kissing back was a terrible mistake, or so I thought. When you returned you were met with my broken tear stricken face. “Brian, what’s wrong?” But before you could get a reply, you were on the floor looking at what I had just written. “Why would you write this Brian?”
“Because… I don’t matter to you.”
“Yes you do. You are the most important thing in my life.”
“Than why don’t you love me?” After the words left my quivering lips I was up and out the door.
I could hear you yelling at me, but I just wanted to suffer alone. When I got home dad was waiting on the porch. “Why did you leave?” His voice frantic, and slightly angry.
“Can I play you something?” He nodded and followed me into the house. I grabbed one of his, many, guitars and started playing.
“So many thoughts that I can’t get out of my head,
I try to live without you every time I do I feel dead,
I know what’s best for me,
But I want you instead,
I’ll keep on wasting all my time.
Over and Over, Over and Over, I fall for you,
Over and Over, Over and Over, I try not too,
Over and Over, Over and Over, you make me fall for you,
Over and Over, Over and Over, you don’t even try too.”
“Brian, that was… beautiful. Why did you write it?” I already knew that he knew the answer, but wanted to hear it from me.
“I love him dad. But he could never love me… who would want too?”
“Zacky loves you. Just… not in the way you want him to, I’m sorry.”
“There’s nothing to be sorry for. You’re not the one who fell in love with your best friend.” By this point my tears had started falling. I tried not to think of all the things that I would never get to do with you.
“Brian, maybe you should call him, just to make sure everything’s okay.”
Three days later, I finally got the guts to call. I never expected what I got.
My hand made the phone shake, I couldn’t get anything to stay still. I had tried four times to get your number right. Finally the fifth time, I got it. I sighed and put the cold plastic against my ear.
“Hello?” Someone said three rings later, I didn’t recognize the voice.
“Hi, is… ah… Zacky there?”
“Yeah, hang on a minute.” They put their hand over the phone and yelled for you. Thirty seven seconds later you picked up, that’s right I counted. A tired voice replaced your old one. “Hello?”
“Hi Zack.” I hesitantly said.
“Brian?” Your voice stung, it rang with pure shock.
“Yeah… I-I’m sorry, for everything.”
“Hold on.” Than the line went dead. I should have known better, you hated me now. I was never going to have my best friend back.
But before anymore negative thoughts could run through my head, you ran through my front door.
I dropped the phone that was still in my hand. “W-what are you doing here?” My voice sounding slightly rude, but it didn’t really matter.
“I… I really missed you. I needed to see you,” Then silence rang through my ears. Nothing else was going to be said. “I’m sorry I ran.” You were looking at the wooden floor beneath your feet.
“Why should you be sorry? I’m the one that was stupid.” ‘So fuckin’ stupid!’ A voice in the back of my head corrected. It was true, if I hadn’t kissed back everything would be normal. We would be joking around and having fun, not standing here awkwardly.
“You did nothing wrong. I ran because… because I.” Your expression told me that you were very uncomfortable. Open, close, open, close, is what your mouth was doing; you looked like a fish out of water. “Ididn’twantyoutofeelmyhardoneonyourleg.” You said it so fast that the words ran together. I raised an eyebrow, hopping that you would repeat it.
“Huh?” It was the only word that I could muster, I was to busy trying to figure out what the heck you just said.
“I-I didn’t want you to feel… what was pressing against your leg. I ran because I was embarrassed, not because you kissed back.”
I bet I looked like a fish out of water, I can’t believe I didn’t think of that. I mean I’d be embarrassed to have you fell my cock pressed against your leg. I gently bit my lip and took a large step forward. “Sorry I freaked.” My voice low so only you could hear it; dad was standing at the kitchen door, probably smiling like a fool.
“It’s okay. C-can I ask you something?”
“You just did.” I joked, getting a little giggle from you. “Yeah.” I actually answered.
“Can I have a hug?” A laugh left my lips. Before I could give you my answer, my arms were around you. You immediately sited your arms around me, making sure they were tight and secure.
My dad being the hopelessly romantic being that he is; turned on some very slow music. I felt my cheeks grow red at the song. It was one of the, many, CD’s that I made with songs I had written, and was playing. My cheeks only grew hotter when you tightened your grip, snuggling into my chest.
One of your hands ran down my forearm, stopping once you reached my hand. “Who sings this?” I gulped nervously.
“Me.”
“Did you write it?” I nodded, resting my chin on the top of your head. “It’s so beautiful Brian. Who did you write it for?”
“I’d, ah, rather not talk about that. At least not right now.” You nodded, making your head move with mine.
“Will you sing for me?”
“Only if you come sit down with me.” You pulled out of our hug and headed to the sofa. I thought I had to start heading there myself, but my arm outstretched and I noticed that you had a hold of my hand.
You fly with angels wings,
You’ve got my blood in your veins,
And your eyes see everything,
And they shine like diamond rings.
I fell onto the couch and you sat in my lap. You yawned and rested your head on my shoulder. “Will you sing for me now?” You whispered. I nodded just as the song ended and the sound of a piano filled the room.
“Let me be the one who calls you baby all the time,
Surely you can take some comfort knowing that you’re mine,
Just hold me tight, Lay by my side,
And let me be the one who calls you baby all the time.
I found my place in the world,
Could stair at your face for the rest of my days.”
I stopped singing once I noticed that dad had shut off the music and I was singing it by myself.
“That was…” You had to think of something to say, which made me smile. “I can’t think of a word to describe it. It’s much more than just beautiful. You wrote that for someone, right?” I nodded, too stunned that you thought it was too good to speak. “I really wish someone would write something like that for me.” I started to choke on the saliva that I was trying to swallow. “Brian, are you okay?” You sounded truly concerned. I nodded, coughing. Dad ran out, I guess he heard you shout.
“What’s going on?” He asked crouching down to our level.
“Brian started choking, but he says he’s okay.” You said with slight relief. At that moment dad noticed how we were sitting; you on my lap, cuddled into my chest.
“Well don’t you two look comfy.” He joked, I had stopped coughing and I looked at you. Your cheeks turned a light shade of pink. I nodded, nuzzling my nose into your neck. I kissed it softly and felt you shiver.
Dad stood and left the room, you shivered slightly. “Are you cold?” I asked, hoping you’d say yes so I could cuddle with you more. As if an answer to my prayer, you said yes. I snuggled closer to you, as a yawn erupted from you. “Tired baby?” I didn’t know till later that I had called you baby. Once again you said yes. Not wanting to make you move I swung my feet over the entire couch and moved you so you were lying on top of me. I pulled the green fleece blanket from off the back of the couch. “You can go to sleep now,” I said quietly. “Goodnight Zacky.” I said kissing the top of your head. You fell asleep with a large smile on your face.
You stayed at my house for a week. Your mom never called because she knew that you were safe with me. Every night you slept in my bed, with me. It was, and still is, one of the best weeks, ever. The day before you left was awkward. “Zacky, your mom might want you to go home soon. You’ve been gone for a week.” You looked up at my father and frowned; but still nodded. “You don’t have to go home today but you have to tomorrow.” You sadly nodded again.
“Okay.” Your voice coming off as slightly depressed. After my dad left the room you still didn’t say anything. I thought it was because you were thinking of a way to stay longer; only if I knew what you were really thinking.
Twenty minutes later, and not a sound had been uttered. You sat the same way you were when my dad came in. I was starting to get slightly worried. Before I could say something you looked at me. “Do you want to know why I came here?” I was, slightly, startled that you spoke.
“Umm… Sure.” There was a slight shakiness to my voice.
“I came here because my mom and cousin wanted me to tell you something. I told them that if you called within a week I’d come over and tell it to your face. But I didn’t think it would be this hard.” With a large sigh you looked at the floor again.
“What do you have to tell me?”
“I-I… I can’t say it. You’ll hate me.”
“Zack, I love you. I could never hate you.” You still didn’t know how true my words were.
“But do you really love me?”
“Yes. I love you more than anything.” I didn’t get the chance to catch myself. Your mouth fell open and shock filled your eyes.
“Do you mean you love me, love me?” With blurred vision, I nodded. Tiny waterfalls appeared by my eyes, its water traveling down the sides of my face. “Why are you crying?” I could only shake my head, my throat was occupied with a very large lump. If I didn’t know better, I would have thought it was my heart coming up to show you its broken, shattered, hurting self. I quickly stood and made my way to the door. I needed to see my dad.
Upon my way down the carpeted stairs I fell. My own tears not allowing me to see. You and my dad watched as I fell down ten steps; my head hitting the wooden railing. To you it may have looked like I was passed out, but I wasn’t. I could still hear everything that you and dad said.
“What happened?”
“He told me he loves me, than he ran.”
“Why would he run, he’s loved you forever.” Thanks dad, ruin everything! My head screamed.
“Really?” I wanted to get up and run, but my body wasn’t letting me move anything.
“Zack, who did you think the songs were written for?” No! He can’t know, please dad don’t tell him! He’s going to hate me… “He wrote them for you.” Fuck…
“Oh…” Than everything went quiet. I managed to open my eyes and sit up. You looked at me, some unreadable emotion sketched across your beautiful features. “Brain, are you okay?” I never did get to answer you; I stood and left the house. Your voice still ringing in my ears.
I must have fallen asleep on a bench in the park, because that’s where I woke up. I tried to sit up but felt something heavy on my chest. Scared, okay more like terrified, I looked down at my chest. There you lay, perfectly still, and asleep. I shifted slightly, wondering if it would wake you. It did.
“Brian?” You whispered softly.
“Yeah Zack?” I really wish I were prepared for what you were about to tell me. Silence comfortably fell between us.
“I love you.” I couldn’t believe it! You… you love me!
“I love you too,” I stated quickly. Reaching for your hand, I intertwined our fingers. “Can I… kiss you?” You smiled, a very large and beautiful smile.
“Yes you can.” Before I could move to attach our lips, you had them connected. You silently pulled out of our first kiss.
“Brian, will… will you be my boyfriend?” I was so happy; so happy I couldn’t speak.
So there we were, lying on an old park bench. Smiling like fools, with me nodding like a mad man.
Two years. We had been together two years before we even thought of anything that had to do with intercourse. But one random night you asked me. You said, “Brian, when do you want to have sex?”
I was in pure shock. As much as I loved you, sex was never something I really wanted from you. My response was a mix of Ums and Ah’s. “We don’t have too, I was just asking.” I could only nod. Nothing was really working, but my brain.
“Do you want it?” You bit your pierced lip.
“Well, sort of.” I pulled you into me, attaching my lips to yours. We were than passionately making out. I leaned out of our kiss, my lips still touching yours.
“Than we’ll do it.”
That night we enjoyed taking one another’s virginity. I couldn’t, and still can’t, think of anyone who I would rather make love too. It’s always going to be you I think of.
We were at a party, a very important party. You just didn’t know it yet. It felt like the ring was burning a hole in my pocket, I needed to ask. Jimmy and Matt knew what I was going to do. I gave them the signal.
They killed the music and asked me and you onto the little stage thing they had set up. I took your hand and lead you there. There were, maybe, fifty people here. All knowing what I was about to do. You stood there, completely confused.
“Zacky, you know I love you,” You nodded. “And that there is no other person that I would rather be with. Ever since I met you, I knew you were something special. I knew that I had to protect you from anything that would hurt you, that I was the one that was supposed to love you forever.” I think you know what I’m about to do; there are tears in your eyes.
“Brian…” You whispered.
“Zachary Baker,” I felt for the box in my pocket, getting on one knee. “Will you marry me?” Your tears started to fall the whole room was silent. You nodded.
“Y-yes, I will.” I let out a sigh of relief, standing I put the silver band on your left ring finger. Everyone in the room cheered as we kissed lovingly.
Pulling away I held you tightly in my arms. “I love you.” I mumbled into your hair.
“I love you too. Its five years today.” I smiled, knowing that that is why I asked today.
“Brian why not have it on the twenty seventh? I mean it’s soon, but not too close.” You asked leaning over a pile of wedding things. We still had to pick a date, and a place.
“Sure, if you want to have it on the twenty seventh. But can we please go casual; I don’t feel like dressing up.” After kissing me lightly you nodded. “Thank you.”
A year after I had purposed we were trying to figure things out.
“Oh, why not do something normal, like have it in a church?”
“Zacky, why don’t we have it outside? I mean I remember you telling me something about wanting your wedding to be outdoors.” You smiled.
“You know me too well baby.” We kissed again. Than went back to plan the wedding.
Our wedding was lovely. Everyone got to wear something comfortable, yet fancy. Matt and Val cried, yes Matthew Sander’s cried. Everyone was so happy, and couldn’t wait to see what we would accomplish in the future. Only if they knew what was going to happen…
Three years after our wedding, everything was going fine; or so I thought. One night you came home, I didn’t know where you had been. “Zack, where were you?”
“Out, with Jill.” You slurred. My mouth fell open. You drunk, and out with a woman…
Negative things started going through my head. “What were you doing… with Jill?”
“What we normally do.” I could feel the water filling my eyes. “Brian, are you okay?”
“Get out…” Your mouth dropped.
“I-it wasn’t anything like that. I swear, I wou…” You started, but I interrupted.
“I am going out for a little, when I come back I want you gone.” I grabbed my car keys and exited.
I never expected you to really leave; when I was half way back to the house something didn’t feel right. I floored the gas pedal and hurried home hoping that you hadn’t left yet.
When I opened the front door you were sitting on the couch sobbing. I silently made my way towards you. You were mumbling things like, “I wish I had told him,” and “I would never cheat on him.”
“Than who is Jill and what were you doing?” My voice sounding as broken as you looked.
“She was helping me with our anniversary. I wanted to do something special but didn’t know what to do, so I hired her to help.” I jumped over the back of the couch and surround you with my arms.
“I’m sorry. So so so so sorry! I never wanted you to leave I just thought something else. I never want you to leave me, never ever ever. I promise to never think that you were cheating on me again. Please forgive me?” I ranted, not wanting you to leave.
“I’ll stay if you want me too.” I turned your head and gave you a loving kiss.
“I want you to stay, forever.” You smiled, kissing me again.
“I am going to go see Jill right now, and tell her that whatever we come up with, it’ll be together.” I smiled nodded and let you free of my grip. “I love you Brian.”
“I love you Zacky.” I replied.
I really wish someone would have told me what was about to happen, I would have never let you go.
You ran out the door, telling me that Jill only lived a couple of houses away and that you were going to walk. I blew you a kiss, getting on in return. You happily skipped to the door and down the steps. I was standing at the door.
You were in the middle of the street, she lives on the other side of the road, when a car flew out of nowhere. I tried to scream but the sound of squealing tires and crunching metal was too much.
Once everything quieted down, I ran down the three wooden steps and sprinted towards you. The man in the car was sliding out the window but I didn’t care. You were in there somewhere and I had to find you. I yelled your name and heard your weak reply.
There you were lying under the over turned car, blood covering most of your beautiful face. I ran to you, shrinking to your level. You softly told me you love me; I said it back, tears cascading down my face. You told me you were sorry than your eyes fell closed.
I screamed and hollered, not wanting you to leave me here, alone.
My tears had started falling long before this point. I looked up from my long letter to you, everyone was bawling like babies. I looked over at you.
“I never thought my time with you would be cut short. But it was. I know you know how important you are to me. I refuse to say were because you still are, you always will be,” I stopped to clear the growing lump in my throat. Than went back to reading my letter. “I know you are looking after me now, and I know we’ll be together, again, someday. I miss you more than anything, and it’s not easy being here without you. But I’m still here, for you.
“You always said that if anything happened to you, you wanted me to live on. I told you the same thing. So here I am telling everyone in the room about my love for you and how we lived. I still love you more than anything Zacky.
Love your one and only,
Brian E. Baker.” I let out a sigh of relief. I was done. I looked at you in the coffin. You still look as beautiful as ever baby. I told you. And I promise that we’ll be together some day. Just remember that I love you. The wind blew through the open window. I love you too. I swear every time the wind blows I can hear your voice.
“Brian, don’t you have a song you wrote for Zacky?” The priest asked kindly. I nodded, grabbing the guitar you gave me for my seventeenth birthday; the first birthday I had with us together. I asked if Matt, Jimmy and Johnny wanted to come play it with me. They nodded and jumped onto the little stage I had set up. Matt grabbed the other guitar, Johnny took the bass, and Jimmy sat down by the drums.
My fingers strummed the intro to the song.
“You are not alone tonight,
Imagine me there by your side,
So hard to be here,
So far away from you,
I’m counting the days,
‘Till I’m finally done,
I’m counting them down,
Yeah one by one,
It feels like forever,
‘Till I return to you.
“But it helps me on those lonely nights,
It’s that one thing that keeps me alive,
Knowing that you wait for me,
Ever so patiently.
“No one else knows that feeling inside,
We hang up the phone,
Without saying goodnight,
‘Cuz it’s the sound of your voice that brings me home.
“‘Cuz it’s never been easy to say,
But it’s easier when I’m gone away.
“Knowing that you,
Wait for me,
Ever so patiently,
Yeah, you’re everything,
I’ve ever dreamed of having,
And it’s everything I need from you
Just knowing that you wait for me.
“What I’d give, what I’d do,
Knowing I’m not there for you,
Makes it so hard to leave.
What I’d give, what I’d do,
Anything to get me home to you,
This time I’ll stay.
“And you wait for me,
Ever so patiently,
Yeah, you’re everything
I’ve ever dreamed of having,
And it’s everything I need from you,
Just knowing that you wait for me.”
We finished the song and everyone clapped, some crying harder than before. It felt like something was touching my shoulder, so I looked. There you were, standing there a smile spread across you face; yet still translucent. “I love you Brian. That was beautiful.” I smiled at your words.
“I love you too.” You leaned in and it felt like you were kissing me.
“I have to go now, I’m sorry. But I promise to look after you; I’m your star.” You whispered, before vanishing.
I remember the first time I laid eyes on you. You’re purple hair shone in the dim sun light. It was cold for California, but you didn’t seem to mind it. I was standing just outside the school gate waiting for my girlfriend, I had something important to tell her. I never got the chance to tell her what I wanted too; you got in the way, I mean that literally.
You tripped on your untied shoe lace and fell right in between the two of us. Before I could to tell her anything she told me goodbye and that she cheated, I was heart broken. But you, Zachary James Baker, smiled and asked if I was all right. Me being the slightly stupid one, thought that you meant you falling. “Yeah, I’m good, but you’re the one that fell.” Was my reply.
You laughed and told me that you were talking about Lily breaking up with me. I was dumbfounded. I could not believe that you were more concerned about me than you were your skinned knee; I hadn’t caught you in time, but you didn’t seem to notice the blood dripping from the wound.
I could only shake my head. You gave me another sad smile and asked if I wanted to do something. I thought for a second, school had just finished and I had nothing to do but dwell upon the fact that Lily cheated; so I said yes. Little did I know that the next three hours would be the best in my life.
Your mother yelled a ‘hi sweetie’ from the living room. Than she appeared from beyond the corner. She awed at the sight of me making you blush. “Sweetie, who’s your new friend?” Kindness dripping from her words like you didn’t really bring many people home.
“Mom, this is Brian. Brian this is my mom.” You said quickly. Before you could usher me away your mother asked you a question. Your face instantly went pale at her words.
“Have you told him yet?”
“Told me what?” I asked quietly, so only you could hear.
“Mom, c-can I talk to you alone for a sec?” You gave me a sorry smile and grabbed your mothers arm and dragged her into the living room.
I stood by the corner, silently listening.
“Mom, please don’t ruin this for me. He doesn’t know, and I don’t want him too.” Your voice coming out more broken than I thought it could.
“Zacky, you have to tell him sometime. The reaction is just going to be worse the longer you wait.”
“Please, don’t tell him. I don’t know how I can tell him, I don’t know how he’ll react to me telling him I’m gay.” My mouth fell open. The only thoughts running though my heard were ‘Should I run? Or stay?’ I already knew I was going to stay.
I walked out from my hiding spot. Words coming from my mouth, “I don’t care.” You and your mother looked at me shocked.
“Y-you heard us?” You asked looking at the sandy brown carpet.
“Yes, I needed to know what you didn’t want to tell me, I’m sorry. But I really don’t care. In the thirty two minutes I’ve known you nothing could make me want to turn back on friendship now.” The smile on my face must have been contagious because you were smiling right back at me.
Two years later, we were as close as two people could get without dating. I was hiding something from you though. I was starting to feel weird. Everything about you, everything I had never noticed before, lit up. I would notice the way your eyes would scream love when you seen your new boyfriend. How they were perfect, each having a mixture of gray, green, and hazel. The way your lips looked so… kissable.
I didn’t know till later what I was feeling.
My heart stung with jealousy, my eyes holding back tears, every time I seen you with Alex. I started hanging out with you less and less as he began to be around more often. You would call and I could hear his breathing, it was different from yours. I’d hear you let out a little giggle as he’d kiss your neck. You would always say a few words before getting carried away with him again. While you were having your fun, my tears would engulf my face. I’d quickly say bye and hang up.
Three weeks later, I gave up on everything. You didn’t call anymore, every time I’d see you he was there. I couldn’t believe that you loved him. I couldn’t believe I loved you. I started writing about you, staying in my room more often. Eventually my dad started to notice that I wasn’t the fun loving kid I had been. He’d try to ask me what was going on, but I couldn’t say it. I didn’t know how he’d react and it hurt too much to talk about. He would ask about you; where you were, how you were doing. My reply was always the same; I don’t know, now please leave me alone.
He couldn’t just sit there and watch his only son fall further and further into depression. So he called your mother. He knocked on my door at ten thirty two P.M, and told me that he knew everything. I could only look at him in disbelief. “Brian, I know why you stay in here all the time. You always look like you’re in pain when I talk about Zack, I know why. So please, tell me yourself.” His voice getting closer until he was sitting next to me on the bed. I looked up.
“Dad, I think… I really like him.” My tears finally showing themselves to someone other than myself. “All he ever does is spend time with Alex. He doesn’t care anymore. I-I don’t know what to do.”
“Alex left Zacky the other day. Lyn told me that he’s really upset about it. He needs a friend Brian. She said he hasn’t come downstairs in three days. That he hasn’t eaten anything in about six. When she knocks on his door, he asks if it you, hope in his voice. Just call him, it’ll make both of you happy.”
“Alex did what…” Was all I could say. I never thought that he’d be able to hurt you. Dad tossed me the phone and I quickly dialed your familiar number.
“Hello?” Your mother said into the receiver.
“Hi Lyn. Is Zacky around?” My voice cracking with emotion.
“Oh Brian, you have no idea how much he misses you. Hang on a sec, I’ll get him.” I heard foot steps climbing the stairs. “Zacky, phone.” She said to a closed door.
I heard your squeaky door open, and your broken voice filled my left ear.
“Hello?”
“Oh my god, Zacky are you okay?” My best friend antics kicking in.
“Brian?” There was something about the way you would say my name that just drove me crazy.
“Yeah Zee, it’s me.”
“Will you come over? Like right now?” The broken boy on the other end needed my help, and I wasn’t about to say no.
“I’m coming. Hold in there, I’ll be there in ten minutes.” You gave your reply and hung up. I tossed the phone at my dad and grabbed a bag and filled it with some clothes. I told dad that I was going to your house, he nodded and let me go. I ran down the street and towards your house. I turned a normal ten minute walk, into a three minute sprint. I was drenched in sweat.
When I knocked on the door you opened it. As soon as I seen you, I lunged forward and captured you in my arms. I whispered sweet nothings in your ear as your tears stained my sweat soaked shirt.
“Lets get you something to eat.” I said once you calmed down. You nodded, your hair falling in your face. I leaned toward you, gently brushing it away. A soft smile emerged on both of our faces.
After you ate we went up to your room. I took my place on the floor while you laid on the bed.
“Brian?” Your voice so low I almost missed it.
“Yeah Zack?” Silence filled the room for a few minutes.
“Will you sleep with me?” I smiled, one of the biggest smiles I have ever smiled, and climbed into your bed. You snuggled into my chest. As if it were meant to be, you took my hand and placed it around your waist. I tightened my grip, not wanting to let you go. “Good night Brian.” I heard you mumble something after that, but I missed it.
After I knew you were fully asleep, I kissed the top of your head.
“Good night Zacky. I love you.”
I woke up to your lips almost pressed against mine. I heard a quite moan escape from your perfect lips. Your morning wood pressing against my leg. A soft whimper and my name filled my ears. I froze, were you dreaming of me?
As if answering my question, your lips pressed firmly against mine. I closed my eyes and slightly pushed back. The moment was ruined when you woke up. You pulled away, looking at me with frightened eyes. You got up and left the room. I looked around for something to write on.
It’s sad to say that this pain,
Is killing my inside.
But it’s sad to say that this pain,
Is keeping me alive.
Twisting and turning it rips,
Through my heart.
It’s been tearing me apart.
I tossed the paper on the floor, letting my tears fall freely. Kissing back was a terrible mistake, or so I thought. When you returned you were met with my broken tear stricken face. “Brian, what’s wrong?” But before you could get a reply, you were on the floor looking at what I had just written. “Why would you write this Brian?”
“Because… I don’t matter to you.”
“Yes you do. You are the most important thing in my life.”
“Than why don’t you love me?” After the words left my quivering lips I was up and out the door.
I could hear you yelling at me, but I just wanted to suffer alone. When I got home dad was waiting on the porch. “Why did you leave?” His voice frantic, and slightly angry.
“Can I play you something?” He nodded and followed me into the house. I grabbed one of his, many, guitars and started playing.
“So many thoughts that I can’t get out of my head,
I try to live without you every time I do I feel dead,
I know what’s best for me,
But I want you instead,
I’ll keep on wasting all my time.
Over and Over, Over and Over, I fall for you,
Over and Over, Over and Over, I try not too,
Over and Over, Over and Over, you make me fall for you,
Over and Over, Over and Over, you don’t even try too.”
“Brian, that was… beautiful. Why did you write it?” I already knew that he knew the answer, but wanted to hear it from me.
“I love him dad. But he could never love me… who would want too?”
“Zacky loves you. Just… not in the way you want him to, I’m sorry.”
“There’s nothing to be sorry for. You’re not the one who fell in love with your best friend.” By this point my tears had started falling. I tried not to think of all the things that I would never get to do with you.
“Brian, maybe you should call him, just to make sure everything’s okay.”
Three days later, I finally got the guts to call. I never expected what I got.
My hand made the phone shake, I couldn’t get anything to stay still. I had tried four times to get your number right. Finally the fifth time, I got it. I sighed and put the cold plastic against my ear.
“Hello?” Someone said three rings later, I didn’t recognize the voice.
“Hi, is… ah… Zacky there?”
“Yeah, hang on a minute.” They put their hand over the phone and yelled for you. Thirty seven seconds later you picked up, that’s right I counted. A tired voice replaced your old one. “Hello?”
“Hi Zack.” I hesitantly said.
“Brian?” Your voice stung, it rang with pure shock.
“Yeah… I-I’m sorry, for everything.”
“Hold on.” Than the line went dead. I should have known better, you hated me now. I was never going to have my best friend back.
But before anymore negative thoughts could run through my head, you ran through my front door.
I dropped the phone that was still in my hand. “W-what are you doing here?” My voice sounding slightly rude, but it didn’t really matter.
“I… I really missed you. I needed to see you,” Then silence rang through my ears. Nothing else was going to be said. “I’m sorry I ran.” You were looking at the wooden floor beneath your feet.
“Why should you be sorry? I’m the one that was stupid.” ‘So fuckin’ stupid!’ A voice in the back of my head corrected. It was true, if I hadn’t kissed back everything would be normal. We would be joking around and having fun, not standing here awkwardly.
“You did nothing wrong. I ran because… because I.” Your expression told me that you were very uncomfortable. Open, close, open, close, is what your mouth was doing; you looked like a fish out of water. “Ididn’twantyoutofeelmyhardoneonyourleg.” You said it so fast that the words ran together. I raised an eyebrow, hopping that you would repeat it.
“Huh?” It was the only word that I could muster, I was to busy trying to figure out what the heck you just said.
“I-I didn’t want you to feel… what was pressing against your leg. I ran because I was embarrassed, not because you kissed back.”
I bet I looked like a fish out of water, I can’t believe I didn’t think of that. I mean I’d be embarrassed to have you fell my cock pressed against your leg. I gently bit my lip and took a large step forward. “Sorry I freaked.” My voice low so only you could hear it; dad was standing at the kitchen door, probably smiling like a fool.
“It’s okay. C-can I ask you something?”
“You just did.” I joked, getting a little giggle from you. “Yeah.” I actually answered.
“Can I have a hug?” A laugh left my lips. Before I could give you my answer, my arms were around you. You immediately sited your arms around me, making sure they were tight and secure.
My dad being the hopelessly romantic being that he is; turned on some very slow music. I felt my cheeks grow red at the song. It was one of the, many, CD’s that I made with songs I had written, and was playing. My cheeks only grew hotter when you tightened your grip, snuggling into my chest.
One of your hands ran down my forearm, stopping once you reached my hand. “Who sings this?” I gulped nervously.
“Me.”
“Did you write it?” I nodded, resting my chin on the top of your head. “It’s so beautiful Brian. Who did you write it for?”
“I’d, ah, rather not talk about that. At least not right now.” You nodded, making your head move with mine.
“Will you sing for me?”
“Only if you come sit down with me.” You pulled out of our hug and headed to the sofa. I thought I had to start heading there myself, but my arm outstretched and I noticed that you had a hold of my hand.
You fly with angels wings,
You’ve got my blood in your veins,
And your eyes see everything,
And they shine like diamond rings.
I fell onto the couch and you sat in my lap. You yawned and rested your head on my shoulder. “Will you sing for me now?” You whispered. I nodded just as the song ended and the sound of a piano filled the room.
“Let me be the one who calls you baby all the time,
Surely you can take some comfort knowing that you’re mine,
Just hold me tight, Lay by my side,
And let me be the one who calls you baby all the time.
I found my place in the world,
Could stair at your face for the rest of my days.”
I stopped singing once I noticed that dad had shut off the music and I was singing it by myself.
“That was…” You had to think of something to say, which made me smile. “I can’t think of a word to describe it. It’s much more than just beautiful. You wrote that for someone, right?” I nodded, too stunned that you thought it was too good to speak. “I really wish someone would write something like that for me.” I started to choke on the saliva that I was trying to swallow. “Brian, are you okay?” You sounded truly concerned. I nodded, coughing. Dad ran out, I guess he heard you shout.
“What’s going on?” He asked crouching down to our level.
“Brian started choking, but he says he’s okay.” You said with slight relief. At that moment dad noticed how we were sitting; you on my lap, cuddled into my chest.
“Well don’t you two look comfy.” He joked, I had stopped coughing and I looked at you. Your cheeks turned a light shade of pink. I nodded, nuzzling my nose into your neck. I kissed it softly and felt you shiver.
Dad stood and left the room, you shivered slightly. “Are you cold?” I asked, hoping you’d say yes so I could cuddle with you more. As if an answer to my prayer, you said yes. I snuggled closer to you, as a yawn erupted from you. “Tired baby?” I didn’t know till later that I had called you baby. Once again you said yes. Not wanting to make you move I swung my feet over the entire couch and moved you so you were lying on top of me. I pulled the green fleece blanket from off the back of the couch. “You can go to sleep now,” I said quietly. “Goodnight Zacky.” I said kissing the top of your head. You fell asleep with a large smile on your face.
You stayed at my house for a week. Your mom never called because she knew that you were safe with me. Every night you slept in my bed, with me. It was, and still is, one of the best weeks, ever. The day before you left was awkward. “Zacky, your mom might want you to go home soon. You’ve been gone for a week.” You looked up at my father and frowned; but still nodded. “You don’t have to go home today but you have to tomorrow.” You sadly nodded again.
“Okay.” Your voice coming off as slightly depressed. After my dad left the room you still didn’t say anything. I thought it was because you were thinking of a way to stay longer; only if I knew what you were really thinking.
Twenty minutes later, and not a sound had been uttered. You sat the same way you were when my dad came in. I was starting to get slightly worried. Before I could say something you looked at me. “Do you want to know why I came here?” I was, slightly, startled that you spoke.
“Umm… Sure.” There was a slight shakiness to my voice.
“I came here because my mom and cousin wanted me to tell you something. I told them that if you called within a week I’d come over and tell it to your face. But I didn’t think it would be this hard.” With a large sigh you looked at the floor again.
“What do you have to tell me?”
“I-I… I can’t say it. You’ll hate me.”
“Zack, I love you. I could never hate you.” You still didn’t know how true my words were.
“But do you really love me?”
“Yes. I love you more than anything.” I didn’t get the chance to catch myself. Your mouth fell open and shock filled your eyes.
“Do you mean you love me, love me?” With blurred vision, I nodded. Tiny waterfalls appeared by my eyes, its water traveling down the sides of my face. “Why are you crying?” I could only shake my head, my throat was occupied with a very large lump. If I didn’t know better, I would have thought it was my heart coming up to show you its broken, shattered, hurting self. I quickly stood and made my way to the door. I needed to see my dad.
Upon my way down the carpeted stairs I fell. My own tears not allowing me to see. You and my dad watched as I fell down ten steps; my head hitting the wooden railing. To you it may have looked like I was passed out, but I wasn’t. I could still hear everything that you and dad said.
“What happened?”
“He told me he loves me, than he ran.”
“Why would he run, he’s loved you forever.” Thanks dad, ruin everything! My head screamed.
“Really?” I wanted to get up and run, but my body wasn’t letting me move anything.
“Zack, who did you think the songs were written for?” No! He can’t know, please dad don’t tell him! He’s going to hate me… “He wrote them for you.” Fuck…
“Oh…” Than everything went quiet. I managed to open my eyes and sit up. You looked at me, some unreadable emotion sketched across your beautiful features. “Brain, are you okay?” I never did get to answer you; I stood and left the house. Your voice still ringing in my ears.
I must have fallen asleep on a bench in the park, because that’s where I woke up. I tried to sit up but felt something heavy on my chest. Scared, okay more like terrified, I looked down at my chest. There you lay, perfectly still, and asleep. I shifted slightly, wondering if it would wake you. It did.
“Brian?” You whispered softly.
“Yeah Zack?” I really wish I were prepared for what you were about to tell me. Silence comfortably fell between us.
“I love you.” I couldn’t believe it! You… you love me!
“I love you too,” I stated quickly. Reaching for your hand, I intertwined our fingers. “Can I… kiss you?” You smiled, a very large and beautiful smile.
“Yes you can.” Before I could move to attach our lips, you had them connected. You silently pulled out of our first kiss.
“Brian, will… will you be my boyfriend?” I was so happy; so happy I couldn’t speak.
So there we were, lying on an old park bench. Smiling like fools, with me nodding like a mad man.
Two years. We had been together two years before we even thought of anything that had to do with intercourse. But one random night you asked me. You said, “Brian, when do you want to have sex?”
I was in pure shock. As much as I loved you, sex was never something I really wanted from you. My response was a mix of Ums and Ah’s. “We don’t have too, I was just asking.” I could only nod. Nothing was really working, but my brain.
“Do you want it?” You bit your pierced lip.
“Well, sort of.” I pulled you into me, attaching my lips to yours. We were than passionately making out. I leaned out of our kiss, my lips still touching yours.
“Than we’ll do it.”
That night we enjoyed taking one another’s virginity. I couldn’t, and still can’t, think of anyone who I would rather make love too. It’s always going to be you I think of.
We were at a party, a very important party. You just didn’t know it yet. It felt like the ring was burning a hole in my pocket, I needed to ask. Jimmy and Matt knew what I was going to do. I gave them the signal.
They killed the music and asked me and you onto the little stage thing they had set up. I took your hand and lead you there. There were, maybe, fifty people here. All knowing what I was about to do. You stood there, completely confused.
“Zacky, you know I love you,” You nodded. “And that there is no other person that I would rather be with. Ever since I met you, I knew you were something special. I knew that I had to protect you from anything that would hurt you, that I was the one that was supposed to love you forever.” I think you know what I’m about to do; there are tears in your eyes.
“Brian…” You whispered.
“Zachary Baker,” I felt for the box in my pocket, getting on one knee. “Will you marry me?” Your tears started to fall the whole room was silent. You nodded.
“Y-yes, I will.” I let out a sigh of relief, standing I put the silver band on your left ring finger. Everyone in the room cheered as we kissed lovingly.
Pulling away I held you tightly in my arms. “I love you.” I mumbled into your hair.
“I love you too. Its five years today.” I smiled, knowing that that is why I asked today.
“Brian why not have it on the twenty seventh? I mean it’s soon, but not too close.” You asked leaning over a pile of wedding things. We still had to pick a date, and a place.
“Sure, if you want to have it on the twenty seventh. But can we please go casual; I don’t feel like dressing up.” After kissing me lightly you nodded. “Thank you.”
A year after I had purposed we were trying to figure things out.
“Oh, why not do something normal, like have it in a church?”
“Zacky, why don’t we have it outside? I mean I remember you telling me something about wanting your wedding to be outdoors.” You smiled.
“You know me too well baby.” We kissed again. Than went back to plan the wedding.
Our wedding was lovely. Everyone got to wear something comfortable, yet fancy. Matt and Val cried, yes Matthew Sander’s cried. Everyone was so happy, and couldn’t wait to see what we would accomplish in the future. Only if they knew what was going to happen…
Three years after our wedding, everything was going fine; or so I thought. One night you came home, I didn’t know where you had been. “Zack, where were you?”
“Out, with Jill.” You slurred. My mouth fell open. You drunk, and out with a woman…
Negative things started going through my head. “What were you doing… with Jill?”
“What we normally do.” I could feel the water filling my eyes. “Brian, are you okay?”
“Get out…” Your mouth dropped.
“I-it wasn’t anything like that. I swear, I wou…” You started, but I interrupted.
“I am going out for a little, when I come back I want you gone.” I grabbed my car keys and exited.
I never expected you to really leave; when I was half way back to the house something didn’t feel right. I floored the gas pedal and hurried home hoping that you hadn’t left yet.
When I opened the front door you were sitting on the couch sobbing. I silently made my way towards you. You were mumbling things like, “I wish I had told him,” and “I would never cheat on him.”
“Than who is Jill and what were you doing?” My voice sounding as broken as you looked.
“She was helping me with our anniversary. I wanted to do something special but didn’t know what to do, so I hired her to help.” I jumped over the back of the couch and surround you with my arms.
“I’m sorry. So so so so sorry! I never wanted you to leave I just thought something else. I never want you to leave me, never ever ever. I promise to never think that you were cheating on me again. Please forgive me?” I ranted, not wanting you to leave.
“I’ll stay if you want me too.” I turned your head and gave you a loving kiss.
“I want you to stay, forever.” You smiled, kissing me again.
“I am going to go see Jill right now, and tell her that whatever we come up with, it’ll be together.” I smiled nodded and let you free of my grip. “I love you Brian.”
“I love you Zacky.” I replied.
I really wish someone would have told me what was about to happen, I would have never let you go.
You ran out the door, telling me that Jill only lived a couple of houses away and that you were going to walk. I blew you a kiss, getting on in return. You happily skipped to the door and down the steps. I was standing at the door.
You were in the middle of the street, she lives on the other side of the road, when a car flew out of nowhere. I tried to scream but the sound of squealing tires and crunching metal was too much.
Once everything quieted down, I ran down the three wooden steps and sprinted towards you. The man in the car was sliding out the window but I didn’t care. You were in there somewhere and I had to find you. I yelled your name and heard your weak reply.
There you were lying under the over turned car, blood covering most of your beautiful face. I ran to you, shrinking to your level. You softly told me you love me; I said it back, tears cascading down my face. You told me you were sorry than your eyes fell closed.
I screamed and hollered, not wanting you to leave me here, alone.
My tears had started falling long before this point. I looked up from my long letter to you, everyone was bawling like babies. I looked over at you.
“I never thought my time with you would be cut short. But it was. I know you know how important you are to me. I refuse to say were because you still are, you always will be,” I stopped to clear the growing lump in my throat. Than went back to reading my letter. “I know you are looking after me now, and I know we’ll be together, again, someday. I miss you more than anything, and it’s not easy being here without you. But I’m still here, for you.
“You always said that if anything happened to you, you wanted me to live on. I told you the same thing. So here I am telling everyone in the room about my love for you and how we lived. I still love you more than anything Zacky.
Love your one and only,
Brian E. Baker.” I let out a sigh of relief. I was done. I looked at you in the coffin. You still look as beautiful as ever baby. I told you. And I promise that we’ll be together some day. Just remember that I love you. The wind blew through the open window. I love you too. I swear every time the wind blows I can hear your voice.
“Brian, don’t you have a song you wrote for Zacky?” The priest asked kindly. I nodded, grabbing the guitar you gave me for my seventeenth birthday; the first birthday I had with us together. I asked if Matt, Jimmy and Johnny wanted to come play it with me. They nodded and jumped onto the little stage I had set up. Matt grabbed the other guitar, Johnny took the bass, and Jimmy sat down by the drums.
My fingers strummed the intro to the song.
“You are not alone tonight,
Imagine me there by your side,
So hard to be here,
So far away from you,
I’m counting the days,
‘Till I’m finally done,
I’m counting them down,
Yeah one by one,
It feels like forever,
‘Till I return to you.
“But it helps me on those lonely nights,
It’s that one thing that keeps me alive,
Knowing that you wait for me,
Ever so patiently.
“No one else knows that feeling inside,
We hang up the phone,
Without saying goodnight,
‘Cuz it’s the sound of your voice that brings me home.
“‘Cuz it’s never been easy to say,
But it’s easier when I’m gone away.
“Knowing that you,
Wait for me,
Ever so patiently,
Yeah, you’re everything,
I’ve ever dreamed of having,
And it’s everything I need from you
Just knowing that you wait for me.
“What I’d give, what I’d do,
Knowing I’m not there for you,
Makes it so hard to leave.
What I’d give, what I’d do,
Anything to get me home to you,
This time I’ll stay.
“And you wait for me,
Ever so patiently,
Yeah, you’re everything
I’ve ever dreamed of having,
And it’s everything I need from you,
Just knowing that you wait for me.”
We finished the song and everyone clapped, some crying harder than before. It felt like something was touching my shoulder, so I looked. There you were, standing there a smile spread across you face; yet still translucent. “I love you Brian. That was beautiful.” I smiled at your words.
“I love you too.” You leaned in and it felt like you were kissing me.
“I have to go now, I’m sorry. But I promise to look after you; I’m your star.” You whispered, before vanishing.
♠ ♠ ♠
Songs in order of appearance:By The Way by Theaory of a Deadman
Over and Over by Three Days Grace
You're My Star by Sterophonics
Smother Me by The Used
Wait For Me by Theory of a Deadman
I don't understand why it won't let me have the last parts in normal but anyway. You get what is going on.
Okay, so I know this is kinda long.
I really had fun writting this, and some people might think it would have taken long, but it didn't.
I really hope you liked it, really really hope you like it.
Thank you for read; please feel free to give me a comment...