Sweet Children
Peter Pan
I wish i could tell you
But the words would come out wrong
Oh if you only knew
The way I felt for so long
I know that we're worlds apart
But I just don't seem to care
These feelings in my heart
Only with you I want to share
I looked down at the lyrics that I had written on a small piece of lined paper and I sighed. Were those lyrics honest? Yes. Were they completely cheesy? ...Yes.
Then again, everything I felt for Emilie was written in those lyrics, cheesy or not, it didn't matter. Half of the shit I write ends up turning cheesy anyway, so fuck it.
The first time I caught a glimpse of you
Then all my thoughts were only of you
I was frustrated and pissed off at myself for what I did to her. Here I was trying to protect her and make her feel better, and I end up fucking all of that up. I just...couldn't help it. I was caught up in the moment. Seriously, when you're in a shower naked with a beautiful girl, things are bound to happen, right? I mean, what are you supposed to do? You're just standing there and there's this beautiful body just staring right at you and your mind goes completely blank. You don't know what to do.
I hope that when time goes by
You will think the same about me
Many nights awake I lie
I only wish that you could see...
...You know, she kissed me! She's the one that started it, leading me on like that. Yeah, I did kind of kiss her before that and I did suggest us taking a shower together...but I mean, come on! I'm a guy! It's not exactly my fault if my testosterone levels decide to climb up, right?
I began thinking about the movie, Peter Pan. How he didn't want to grow up. He wanted to be a kid forever, and I relate to that. I don't want to have all of these awkward feelings for girls and shit...I just want to have fun and act like a complete idiot. So, In a way, I'm just like Peter Pan....well....minus the leotard and the weird looking pointed hat...
I know that we're only friends
I hope this feeling never ends
If I could only hold you
It's the only thing I wanna do
I decided that the song was finished and I noticed that it only took me about five minutes to write. I then decided to name it, "Only Of You" because well...for one, I'm complete shit when it comes to thinking of titles, and for two, those three words summed up everything I felt for her, because in all honesty, she is the only one that I ever think about and the only one that I want to be with.
I slowly got out of my bed which was where I was writing the song, and I carefully tucked the lyrics away in a small blue folder that I kept all of my songs in. I looked back over at my bed at Emilie who was still asleep. I always seem to wake up before her...
I was surprised that she actually still slept next to me in bed after what had happened, even though she didn't exactly talk to me while we went to bed like she usually did. You see, every night we end up talking to each other for a little bit in bed before going to sleep, but last night she went to sleep right away and her body was turned away from me. I guess I did deserve it, though...
I decided to go watch some TV in the living room instead of waking her up. Waking her up didn't seem like a very good idea at the moment...
So I quietly shut my bedroom door behind me and made my way into my living room where Mike was inconveniently watching TV. He better be watching something good...and if he isn't...well...I'm stealing the remote...
"Hey there Bill!" Mike greeted with a wave and a cartoon-like grin.
I smiled back. "Hey." I replied as I sat next to him on the maroon sofa that was probably about fifty years old. I mean...I've seen pictures of Alan on the very same sofa when he was a baby, so that's got to say something...
"So...are you still pissed off about yesterday?" I asked Mike casually.
"Naw, man. I'm good. You guys really were assholes though." Mike replied.
I tried to hold in my laughter. "So...did you ever get to shit?"
"Yeah...I just went outside in the pouring rain and shit right in your mom's garden, dude." He replied with a grin on his face. "I'd say it's fertilized now. No need for her to thank me, though. It's all good."
I just smiled. It was actually nice having Mike in the house. He provided plenty of comical relief.
"So what in the hell were you and Emilie up to in the bathroom together..?" Mike asked with a smile and a wink. I laughed.
"Naw, it's not like that, Mike." I began. "Well, I was going to take Emilie to the beach, but since it decided to storm, I brought the beach inside."
"Wow..." Mike started. "That is so lame... Tell me more!"
I sighed and began explaining every single detail to him. All about the bubbly splashing war to the mud fight to the awkward shower together. He looked at me with wide eyes.
"Whoa dude...that's intense." Mike said. "So, is she still mad at you?"
"I don't know. She's still sleeping and I--"
Emilie suddenly appeared into the kitchen that was visible from the living room. She yawned and opened the cupboard and grabbed a granola bar. She opened the granola bar and walked into the living room, stole the remote, and sat down on the recliner that was to the right of the sofa. She began absentmindedly flipping through channels before stopping on....the news? Oh god...
Mike stared at her with wide eyes and looked over at me. "Dude, you're in deep shit...she's giving you the silent treatment. Not good." He whispered. "Um...I gotta go...polish my bass guitar..." He added before heading into his room quickly. I sighed. Thanks for ditching me, Mike!
I could feel Emilie's eyes on me as I pretended to watch the news. Headline news said, "Gary Hart withdraws from Presidential race when sexual indiscretion is exposed." Ha. Nice.
"Billie..." Emilie began softly. "We need to talk."
Oh god....
"...OK." I managed to say.
Emilie picked up the remote and shut off the TV. She then stood up and sat next to me on the sofa. I reluctantly looked at her as I felt an awkward conversation coming up. I prepared myself...
She looked down at her hands nervously. "I need to ask you something. ...Can I?"
"Of course." I told her.
"Yesterday...when you did what you did...did you just do it because of some stupid hormonal spaz, or was it because you have feelings for me?" She asked.
I decided that I was going to be completely honest with her. "...I think that it was a little bit of both."
She nodded slowly.
"Look, Em." I began slowly. "I really do care about you and I'm really sorry for what I did...please believe me when I say that."
She gave me a small smile. "I believe you. And, just so you know, I wasn't mad for what you did."
I gave her a confused look. "But...you didn't talk to me after and so I thought-"
"The reason why i wasn't talking was because I was thinking about what happened. I wasn't mad...It just felt...awkward, you know? I really wasn't expecting that you were going to.....you know..." She looked down and began pulling on a loose thread of her t-shirt.
"Well...it's just, I know how much you hate your father for abusing you like that, and so...I don't know. I'm just really pissed off at myself right now." I admitted.
She smirked. "Well, you should be."
I smiled at her. "Can we...go back to being best friends now? This is getting very uncomfortable for me..."
She laughed and gave me a smile. "Yeah...I guess so."
"Good." I replied.
She then gave me a small kiss on the forehead and gave me a hug. Why does she do this to me? I thought as my face began to turn red. One minute she acts all awkward with me and then before I know it, she's kissing and hugging me! ....Girls are weird.
"Hey...maybe you, me, and Mike can go to the movies later on...? Emilie suggested.
What the hell? Now she's acting like everything's okay again! Dude! Emilie! Suggestion! STOP WITH THE MIND GAMES! Seriously...
"Alight...sounds good." I said, forcing a weak smile. She smiled back, picked the remote back up, and turned the TV back on....to the news.
Ugh....
But the words would come out wrong
Oh if you only knew
The way I felt for so long
I know that we're worlds apart
But I just don't seem to care
These feelings in my heart
Only with you I want to share
I looked down at the lyrics that I had written on a small piece of lined paper and I sighed. Were those lyrics honest? Yes. Were they completely cheesy? ...Yes.
Then again, everything I felt for Emilie was written in those lyrics, cheesy or not, it didn't matter. Half of the shit I write ends up turning cheesy anyway, so fuck it.
The first time I caught a glimpse of you
Then all my thoughts were only of you
I was frustrated and pissed off at myself for what I did to her. Here I was trying to protect her and make her feel better, and I end up fucking all of that up. I just...couldn't help it. I was caught up in the moment. Seriously, when you're in a shower naked with a beautiful girl, things are bound to happen, right? I mean, what are you supposed to do? You're just standing there and there's this beautiful body just staring right at you and your mind goes completely blank. You don't know what to do.
I hope that when time goes by
You will think the same about me
Many nights awake I lie
I only wish that you could see...
...You know, she kissed me! She's the one that started it, leading me on like that. Yeah, I did kind of kiss her before that and I did suggest us taking a shower together...but I mean, come on! I'm a guy! It's not exactly my fault if my testosterone levels decide to climb up, right?
I began thinking about the movie, Peter Pan. How he didn't want to grow up. He wanted to be a kid forever, and I relate to that. I don't want to have all of these awkward feelings for girls and shit...I just want to have fun and act like a complete idiot. So, In a way, I'm just like Peter Pan....well....minus the leotard and the weird looking pointed hat...
I know that we're only friends
I hope this feeling never ends
If I could only hold you
It's the only thing I wanna do
I decided that the song was finished and I noticed that it only took me about five minutes to write. I then decided to name it, "Only Of You" because well...for one, I'm complete shit when it comes to thinking of titles, and for two, those three words summed up everything I felt for her, because in all honesty, she is the only one that I ever think about and the only one that I want to be with.
I slowly got out of my bed which was where I was writing the song, and I carefully tucked the lyrics away in a small blue folder that I kept all of my songs in. I looked back over at my bed at Emilie who was still asleep. I always seem to wake up before her...
I was surprised that she actually still slept next to me in bed after what had happened, even though she didn't exactly talk to me while we went to bed like she usually did. You see, every night we end up talking to each other for a little bit in bed before going to sleep, but last night she went to sleep right away and her body was turned away from me. I guess I did deserve it, though...
I decided to go watch some TV in the living room instead of waking her up. Waking her up didn't seem like a very good idea at the moment...
So I quietly shut my bedroom door behind me and made my way into my living room where Mike was inconveniently watching TV. He better be watching something good...and if he isn't...well...I'm stealing the remote...
"Hey there Bill!" Mike greeted with a wave and a cartoon-like grin.
I smiled back. "Hey." I replied as I sat next to him on the maroon sofa that was probably about fifty years old. I mean...I've seen pictures of Alan on the very same sofa when he was a baby, so that's got to say something...
"So...are you still pissed off about yesterday?" I asked Mike casually.
"Naw, man. I'm good. You guys really were assholes though." Mike replied.
I tried to hold in my laughter. "So...did you ever get to shit?"
"Yeah...I just went outside in the pouring rain and shit right in your mom's garden, dude." He replied with a grin on his face. "I'd say it's fertilized now. No need for her to thank me, though. It's all good."
I just smiled. It was actually nice having Mike in the house. He provided plenty of comical relief.
"So what in the hell were you and Emilie up to in the bathroom together..?" Mike asked with a smile and a wink. I laughed.
"Naw, it's not like that, Mike." I began. "Well, I was going to take Emilie to the beach, but since it decided to storm, I brought the beach inside."
"Wow..." Mike started. "That is so lame... Tell me more!"
I sighed and began explaining every single detail to him. All about the bubbly splashing war to the mud fight to the awkward shower together. He looked at me with wide eyes.
"Whoa dude...that's intense." Mike said. "So, is she still mad at you?"
"I don't know. She's still sleeping and I--"
Emilie suddenly appeared into the kitchen that was visible from the living room. She yawned and opened the cupboard and grabbed a granola bar. She opened the granola bar and walked into the living room, stole the remote, and sat down on the recliner that was to the right of the sofa. She began absentmindedly flipping through channels before stopping on....the news? Oh god...
Mike stared at her with wide eyes and looked over at me. "Dude, you're in deep shit...she's giving you the silent treatment. Not good." He whispered. "Um...I gotta go...polish my bass guitar..." He added before heading into his room quickly. I sighed. Thanks for ditching me, Mike!
I could feel Emilie's eyes on me as I pretended to watch the news. Headline news said, "Gary Hart withdraws from Presidential race when sexual indiscretion is exposed." Ha. Nice.
"Billie..." Emilie began softly. "We need to talk."
Oh god....
"...OK." I managed to say.
Emilie picked up the remote and shut off the TV. She then stood up and sat next to me on the sofa. I reluctantly looked at her as I felt an awkward conversation coming up. I prepared myself...
She looked down at her hands nervously. "I need to ask you something. ...Can I?"
"Of course." I told her.
"Yesterday...when you did what you did...did you just do it because of some stupid hormonal spaz, or was it because you have feelings for me?" She asked.
I decided that I was going to be completely honest with her. "...I think that it was a little bit of both."
She nodded slowly.
"Look, Em." I began slowly. "I really do care about you and I'm really sorry for what I did...please believe me when I say that."
She gave me a small smile. "I believe you. And, just so you know, I wasn't mad for what you did."
I gave her a confused look. "But...you didn't talk to me after and so I thought-"
"The reason why i wasn't talking was because I was thinking about what happened. I wasn't mad...It just felt...awkward, you know? I really wasn't expecting that you were going to.....you know..." She looked down and began pulling on a loose thread of her t-shirt.
"Well...it's just, I know how much you hate your father for abusing you like that, and so...I don't know. I'm just really pissed off at myself right now." I admitted.
She smirked. "Well, you should be."
I smiled at her. "Can we...go back to being best friends now? This is getting very uncomfortable for me..."
She laughed and gave me a smile. "Yeah...I guess so."
"Good." I replied.
She then gave me a small kiss on the forehead and gave me a hug. Why does she do this to me? I thought as my face began to turn red. One minute she acts all awkward with me and then before I know it, she's kissing and hugging me! ....Girls are weird.
"Hey...maybe you, me, and Mike can go to the movies later on...? Emilie suggested.
What the hell? Now she's acting like everything's okay again! Dude! Emilie! Suggestion! STOP WITH THE MIND GAMES! Seriously...
"Alight...sounds good." I said, forcing a weak smile. She smiled back, picked the remote back up, and turned the TV back on....to the news.
Ugh....