Sweet Children

Every night I dream the same dream,
of getting older and older all the time
I ask you now, what does this mean?
Are these problems just in my mind?
Things are easy when you're a child
But now these pressures have dropped on my head
The length I've gone are just long miles
Would they be shorter if I were dead?

You know, it’s really weird turning sixteen.

I know that you are looking at me right now thinking that I’m crazy because in reality fifteen is not really that far away from sixteen, but it is amazing how much you can change over a span of just a year. It’s also amazing how much confusion you have once you turn sixteen. I mean, I thought I had enough problems in my mind being fifteen, but that is nothing compared to the new problems and pressures that suddenly dropped on my head so suddenly. Everywhere I turn, there’s trouble. My relationship with Emilie is still confusing as hell; school is confusing as hell… everything is just confusing as hell.

In a way it’s like I’m dying or something…or like I’m having some sort of identity crisis.

I’m just going to say that my life right now is pretty fucking difficult and it’s pretty hard to explain why…so I’m going to do my best…

The main issue that I am being faced with happens to be about a little thing called school.

Thinking back on my childhood I can tell you that I was surprisingly one of the best students in my class over at Hillcrest Elementary School. I know, it sounds ridiculous right? I mean, I am pretty much notorious now for obtaining D’s and F’s successfully in all of my classes at John Swett High. Well, there's that and I also have gotten into the habit of secretly selling joints for 2 bucks apiece. I think my teachers have their suspicions about that, but I haven't got in trouble yet, have I? Besides, they're much too busy trying to pry kids off each other that had gotten into fights and making positively sure that kids were absolutely not having sex in the bathroom. High School is a strange place...

Nowadays, I am finding that school is a huge pain in the ass for me. I have no interest in it at all, especially now since Mike and I have formed a band which we unashamedly named Sweet Children.

You see, Mike and I have always loved jamming and getting high in my basement. It was almost like some sort of tradition in a way. One night while we were playing music and as high as a kite, we suddenly had the brilliant idea of creating a band of our own. It seemed like every outcast around here was doing just that and the aspect of average teens creating music of their own sounded pretty fucking awesome to us. It's like; you didn't have to be some bloated rock star that had an intensive musical degree in college to play music. Hell, just throw in a singer, a bass guitar player, a guitar player, and a drummer, and you got yourself a band! It's as simple as that.

Now don't get me wrong, you should at least be somewhat talented at playing an instrument or at least had your hands around an instrument at one point of your life in order to even consider being in a band, but I don't think that's really asking for much.

At first I wanted to be the guy in the background and play the guitar—hell I'd even play the bass or the drums, but Mike wouldn't have it. He threw a fucking fit at even the thought of being the lead singer of our band. You see, Mike doesn't like his voice, he doesn't think that it's good enough and behind his goofy demeanor he was actually pretty shy around others. In actuality, he's only really outgoing around close friends. So anyway, Mike threw a shit fit, told me that I had tons more charisma, a better voice, and that I had more musical experience than he did.

He also said that I was better looking than he was.

...Okay, so maybe he didn't say that, but you get my point. And without trying to brag or anything, I thought that he was right and as much as I didn't like the aspect of being lead singer at first, I swallowed my pride, and took his advice. But of course, if I had to make the sacrifice of being lead singer, he'd have to make a sacrifice as well—Mike would be back up singer. He complained at first, but I didn't really care. There's no way that he was getting away from singing at least something. Here he thought that he would pin all of the singing on me, well not so fast Mikey boy! Besides, I think that our voices sound great together and the vocals would just sound empty if it were just I singing.

So we had ourselves two guitar players and two singers, but we obviously needed a bass player and drummer as well in order to form a complete band. I suggested that we ask our buddy Sean Hughes if he would consider being bass player for the band. He agreed.

Now, the only problem that we have now is the fact that we don’t know of anyone who can play the drums. I can play the drums, but I obviously can’t sing, play the guitar, and play the drums at the same time. We were considering just letting Mike play the guitar so that I could play the drums, but Mike would have another shit fit at the aspect of being lead singer, and even if I did keep the position of lead singer, it would look ridiculous having a drummer also be the singer. Also, I didn’t even think that I could sing and play the drums at the same time anyway– and I wanted to play the guitar.

I guess forming a band really wasn’t as simple as I originally thought…

“Dude! Mike, stop taking all of the shit!” I cried as I pried the newly formed joint away from his grubby fingers. “Save some for us! Jesus…”

Mike just gave me a child-like grin, which looked even more hilarious than usual with him being high and all. His smile was much the same, but the difference was that his eyes were half shut and his head was tilted back a bit as he grinned. He looked like a goofy, but stoned cartoon character or something…

Holding the joint in my hand, I inhaled the smoke and gave out a relaxed sigh. I’m not even sure that I believe in God or not, nor Heaven or Hell. All I know is if Heaven really does exist, this is what it must be like; A weed paradise.

After I had my share, I tossed the joint to Sean who happily took it in as well.

We had just finished another session of band practice, which sounded less than perfect, but the most important part was that it was fun.

Our instruments now lay on the floor near us along with old food wrappers and soda cans. My basement was a fucking mess, but to us it was perfect. Seriously, we could be down here for hours. Sometimes, we’d even skip classes in order to jam down here. It was a hell of a lot better than sitting in class listening to Mr. Boring As Fuck rambling about the Civil War.

Mike was the most reluctant to skip classes, however. He wanted to prove to his mother, (who had moved away last year because of financial problems) that he could graduate and get decent grades. In reality, Mike really was the best student at of all three of us. He was a good student, but compared to Emilie, he was as average as can be.

Emilie is also going to John Swett and has nearly all A’s, besides Algebra II. She has a C in that class and she’s always beating herself up over it. Being a guy that doesn’t care about school at all, I tell her that she shouldn’t worry about it. However, Emilie’s education was as important to her as my band was important to me – that I understand and respect completely.

It’s strange how I’m pretty much in love with a pretty much straight A student. Something that I find even stranger is the fact that Emile even puts up with a guy like me; a guy who smokes and who doesn’t care about education, or anything besides music. She must really be in love with me then…? Who knows? All I know is…I’m not going to get my hopes up about that.

“You know…we should really go to a Gilman gig tonight. I saw these flyers up for a band called Isocracy. Everyone says that they’re really great!” Sean replied with a grin.

“Yeah, they sound like they’re good…” I began. “but I promised Emilie that she could help me with an English paper tonight.”

Sean snorted. “Since when do you care about school, Billie?”

“Well, I don’t…but Emilie does. I don’t mind her wanting to help me.”

“Oh dear God, Billie. How in love with her are you!?” Sean asked.

“Oh, trust me Sean,” Mike started. “Emilie is practically his girl!”

I couldn’t prevent myself from smiling.

“Come on, Billie! Just ask Emilie if she can help you with that tomorrow night! Besides, she’s never really been to Gilman yet. I don’t know about you, but I feel bad about going to Gilman while she’s got her face in her textbooks all night! She needs to let go and just have fun experiencing something new!” Mike cried.

As much as I hated to admit it…he was right. Emilie deserves to have some fun too! Besides, it would be great to show her around Gilman and get her into the scene.

So I guess I know what I’m asking Emilie when she gets home from school today…