I Have Loved, and I Have Lost

I collapsed down onto the bed that now belonged to me, in the spare room Lily had kindly decorated for me.

The walls were painted hot pink, a black border running across the centre in a horizontal line on each wall. She had two lines of 'caution' yellow tape stuck to the wall in a 'x' shape above the double bed that lay in the centre of the room against the back wall. A double wardrobe hid in the corner of the room at the bottom of the bed, a dressing table complete with three drawers sat next to it. On the left side of the bed was a small bedside table. A picture of me, Mom and Lily at Niagara Falls sat on top of it, along with a small lava lamp. The picture brought back so many memories. It made me feel at home.

I liked this room a lot. It was different to how mine was decorated back home but it was.. unique? It was much larger than my bedroom back at home, plus it had my very own en-suite bathroom, which I was extremely grateful for. I knew how long Lily took in the bathroom and I wasn't exactly fast at getting ready either.

She was my mom's younger sister, only 21. She was more my friend than my aunt to be honest, she'd asked me to call her Lily instead of aunt Lily, it apparently made her feel too old. She left home when she was 18 and moved to Sheffield for a change. She used to visit as much as she could and stay for the whole summer, that was until mom died. She told me she felt awkward being around dad's new girlfriend but I could visit her whenever I liked. Although, in the three months mom had been gone I hadn't once gotten the chance to fly over to Sheffield to visit. Then dad called her when I'd come home drunk and gotten into an argument with Ronnie over something stupid. She happily told him I could stay with her, especially as her boyfriend had just left her and she was feeling lonely. I'd be starting fresh in the sixth form of a school in Sheffield where she lived. Luckily, I wouldn't be starting in the middle of the year where everyone already had their own little friendship groups. The school year started in two days so I guess I was lucky.

“Iya, yeh feelin' alright?” Lily asked, smiling as she poked her head around the door. She'd picked up the accent here a few years ago when she moved here to go to uni.

“Yeah, I'm fine thanks.” I replied, faking a smile.

I missed my friends already, especially Chace and Riley. God, my goodbye with Riley had been extremely tearful. The night before I left she stayed over and we watched our favorite movies and pigged out with ice-cream, chocolate and tons of sweets.

“Wha's up darlin'?” She sat down next to me, watching me worriedly.

“Nothing, I'm just a little nervous. I don't know anyone here, plus I miss my friends. Do you mind if I go for a walk, just to get some air?” I asked, standing up and putting my hands into my pockets.

“Nah, tha's cool I'll make yeh some supper or something, I bet yeh 'aven't eaten.” She grinned, standing up also.

I left the apartment she owned and walked down the dimly lit street. I'd been here a few times but I still didn't know where the hell I was. Lily had moved twice since I'd last visited.

I made my way into town somehow, after walking through many empty streets. It wasn't too busy, although, it was 11:00pm.

I walked past tons of closed shops down the high street, my eyes scanning each shop window. I needed retail therapy!

Bursts of laughter interrupted my train of thoughts and I looked up to see a huge swarm of people my age and a little bit younger come out of some music hall of some sort. They were all wearing similar clothes to mine, skinny jeans, a band t-shirt and a hoodie. They were all hyped up, jumping around screaming and laughing, talking about whatever bands they'd just seen.

I focused my eyes back to the shops and walked straight ahead, letting thoughts of my old friends consume my mind again.

Ouch!

I bumped into something solid.

“Jeez! Watch where you're going, ass hole.” I grumbled, not in the mood to be confronted with people right now.

I looked up to see a guy looking down at me, a smirk playing on his lips.

“Yeh should watch where yeh goin' love, yeh might bump int' stranger.” I felt my cheeks flush a deep shade of pink as my eyes quickly scanned the other guys he was stood with not really taking anything in.

I stepped out of his way, shaking my head and muttering rude words as I walked away as quickly as my legs would allow me to. I just wanted to get back to Lily's, or should I say home?, and hide under my duvet to save myself from future embarrassing situations.