I Have Loved, and I Have Lost

“Miss Evans, I'd appreciate it if you didn't use my lesson as a chance for you to sleep off your hangover.” Mr Tomlin snapped.

I groaned and raised my head off the desk to look at his white hair-covered face. I heard Oli chuckle from beside me making me turn to look at him and shoot him my best glare. Mr Tomlin walked away, satisfied after waking me up.

“Not able to handle yeh're drink well, love?” Oli smirked.

“Oh, I am. It's just when I have ass holes like you sitting beside me I take that as the perfect opportunity to ignore you and sleep.” I snapped, resting my head back on the table.

“Tha's not very nice, is it?” He replied, fake hurt in his voice.

“I'm not a very nice person.” I grumbled, wishing he'd disappear.

My cell vibrated in my pocket as I groan and pulled my head up off the table to get it out.

Chace ♥

I miss you! It's not the same without you. We all miss you. School's dull, Riley's just as down as I am without her best friend. When are you coming back babe? I love you x

I wanted to cry. I missed them so much, Chace and Riley. I missed all of my friends.

“Oo, little miss popular.” Oli smirked into my ear.

I pushed him away and slammed my head back onto the table.

“What's wrong gorgeous? If being called popular upsets yeh, then I'm sorry Billy no-mates.” Oli spoke seriously, running a finger along the exposed skin on my the small of my back from where my T-shirt had ridden up slightly.

“Don't fucking touch me!” I snapped, pushing him away from me. Luckily the bell rang and I jumped up, leaving the class as quickly as possible.

“S, wha's wrong?” Jake asked worriedly as I bumped into him in the corridor.

“Nothing, I just want to go home.” I sobbed into his chest when he pulled me into a hug.

“Wanna skip las' two? Go grab some ice-cream?” He smiled weakly as I nodded. “Okay, lemme jus' go tell the guys.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the cafeteria to a table where six guys were sat around a table talking.

“Iya love,” Oli grinned, looking up at me. The other five guys looked up at me and Jake curiously, then down at our hands that were still linked.

“Er, we're skipping las' two. I'll see yeh at five.” Jake informed them. They all wolf-whistled as we left. Such guys.

&&

“So, 'ow come yeh moved 'ere?” Jake asked curiously as we walked along the high street.

“My dad made me. 'Too much partying'.” I laughed.

“Ah, I gellit. So you're a bit of a party animal, aye?” He smirked, shoving a spoonful of ice-cream into his mouth.

I laughed. “I guess you could say that.”

My cell vibrated harshly in my pocket, interrupting us before I pulled it out and answered.

“Hello?”

“Baby I miss you.” Chace cooed into the phone.

“Babe I miss you too.” I sighed sadly. I could see Jake shoot me a questioning look but ignored it.

“I just wanted to hear your voice. You're not busy, are you?”

“Nope, just ditched last two to come get some ice-cream.”

“Oh god, what's up?” He asked worriedly. He knew I usually only ditched school to get ice-cream if something was up.

“Just missed you, Cali, everything. It's so different here.”

“Aw baby, just think you'll be back for Christmas soon. Hey, you're not on your own are you?”

“No, why?”

“Just didn't want you to be alone. Who are you with?”

“Kitty. Babe I'll call you back later. I love you.” I felt guilty for lying to him I just didn't want him to get worried about me being with another guy. I knew Chace wasn't the jealous type, but I didn't want to risk it.

“Okay, cheer up baby. I love you too.” I hung up and put my cell back into my pocket.

“Boyfriend?” Jake asked, his eyes on me as I nodded.

“Cute.” He smiled.

&&

I got back home and went on my laptop, signing onto AIM.

Smiley-Riley :] : I MISS YOU BABY GIRL ! ):

I smiled as my best friends message popped up on my screen.

Siilver;xo : I miss you too chick (N)
Smiley-Riley :] : Chace said you were upset, what's up?
Siilver;xo : Just missing you guys. + there's this annoying kid in my chemistry class. He picked me up and moved me to the seat that was next to me just cos it was 'his seat' !!
Smiley-Riley :] : Sounds like a douche. Just threaten to chop his balls off. I'm sure he'll stop then ;]
Siilver;xo : LOL god I miss you + your weird ways. Hows Cali?
Smiley-Riley :] : Boring without you ! Justin got on Cindy today, shocker o_0 I swear if she uses him the way she uses just about every other guy i'ma kill her. Chace has just been well.. missing you like crazy. Seriously, he just sits there in a daze. But I'll make sure he's alright for ya (: Oh, Harry asked me out today. I dunno what to say !?!?!
Siilver;xo : So, not much has happened since I've been gone then LOL Say yes you gomo. He's been in love with you for YEARS ! Give the guy a chance. I think you two look cute together. Ugh, I have to go Lily's calling me. Give Chace a big bear hug from me (: Love ya chick xo

I shut my laptop and walked into the kitchen where Lily was all dressed up.

“You look nice.” I smiled, checking her outfit.

“Thanks. I'm gonna go out tonight, is tha' alright with yeh?” She asked hopefully. I think this was the first time she'd gone out clubbing since breaking up with her boyfriend so I wasn't going to stand in her way.

“Sure, have a nice time.” I smiled.

“Yeh can invite Kitty round to stay if yeh want. See yeh later.” She grinned, picking up her clutch and walking out of the front door.

I padded over to the couch and collapsed down on it, turning on the TV and flicking to Kerrang. A knock at the door made me sigh heavily and heave myself up to go and answer it.

“Ello love.” Oli grinned, standing in front of me with his hands stuffed in his front pockets.

“What do you want?” I growled angrily.

“You're not very sociable are yeh.” He teased.

“Why are you here Oliver?” I asked through gritted teeth.

“Came to see yeh. Thought yeh might need the company seein' as yeh're new 'nd all.”

“I'm perfectly fine on my own, thanks.” I went to shut the door but he stopped it, stepping into the hall.

“Don't be like tha' love.” He smirked, advancing towards me. I folded my arms across my chest, suddenly feeling intimidated as he towered over me. I backed up as he advanced forwards until I had my back pressed to the cream wall.

“Get. The fuck. Out.” I growled, putting my hands on his chest and pushing him towards the door.

“Fine, but yeh know yeh wont be able t' stop thinkin' 'bout me t'night.” He winked before turning around and heading towards the stairs.

Ugh, he was so full of himself! I hated guys like that. I slammed the door shut and stomped over to the couch, chucking myself down on it. I shut my eyes and sucked in a deep breath. That kid really knew how to piss me off. I just wanted Chace right now, and Riley. Me and Riles always crashed at each others house on a Friday, usually heading to some party to get wasted first. I wanted my boyfriend and my best friend. Tears slipped out of my closed eyes, trailing slowly down my cheeks before trickling onto the cushions. My cell began vibrating violently in my pocket as I pulled it out to see who the caller was.

Dad

“Hello?” I answered dully into the phone.

“Hello sweetheart, I just wanted to call and see how you're doing.”

“Oh yeah, I'm doing great. Everyone here is so lovely and welcoming here, not annoying at all. And the weather is just brilliant.” I replied sarcastically.

“Silver, don't be like that. You know I sent you there for your own good. Maybe this will teach you a lesson, it could be good for you honey.”

“What lesson are you trying to teach me, Dad? How can this possibly be good for me? I'm away from all of my friends, Chace, Riles. You go and send me here where I know no one simply because Stella's been feeding you shit about how this will 'straighten me out'. Mom would never had sent me here!” I screamed into the phone, warm, salty tears falling quickly from my eyes. The dial tone filled my ears and I knew I'd hit a nerve. Talking about mom upset dad, I knew he missed her like crazy. Stella was nothing compared to mom, but there was no way of ever getting her back. She was gone forever.

I curled up into a tight ball on the couch and cried myself to sleep, wallowing in my own self pity. I felt ridiculous and weak but right now I missed everything. My mom, Chace, Riley, all of my other friends, California. Hell I even missed my school. I just wanted my life back to how it used to be before mom fell ill. I used to love my life. I was always happy and smiling. People described me as bubbly, fun to be around. I was just like mom used to be. She was so full of life, watching her grow weak and dependent on other people terrified me. Now I was just some 'wild child' that drank herself silly and ran away from her problems. I didn't want to be this uncontrollable person that just throws her life away because things get tough. If there was one thing my moms death had taught me – it was to be strong and never give up, no matter how hard things get.