I Have Loved, and I Have Lost

I picked up my bag and headed for the door after I heard two loud knocks. Oli was here. I opened the door and watched as his facial expression turned to worried.

“Who died?” He asked, most likely due to the way I looked. My eyes were bloodshot from crying pretty much all night, I had barely any make-up on and my clothes were a pair of old jeans and a baggy Bullet For My Valentine t-shirt, my hair pulled up into a messy ponytail.

“Fuck off, Oliver.” I snapped, shutting the door behind me.

“Whoa, PMS much.” He muttered as I walked round to the passengers side. I didn't reply to him. I pulled my seat belt on, remembering how he drove yesterday. No matter how upset I was over Chace, I didn't want to die due to Oliver's bad driving.

We pulled up at his house and I got out, raising my eyebrow as Oli opened one of the back seat doors. Shit, I forgot we were babysitting his cousins.

“Could yeh get Noah out for me please.” Oli asked. I nodded and opened the door to see a small figure with pale skin, bright blue eyes and chocolate brown hair. He looked a little like Tom actually.

“Ello love.” He chuckled, a huge grin on his face. I could tell he'd spent way too much time with Oli already.

I said hi to him and reached over him to unbuckle his seat belt. As soon as I did so he jumped out of the car and ran to the front door, waving his small arms above his head. Awesome, he was energetic. And there was two of them.

“How old are they?” I asked quietly as we sat down on the couch.

“They're five next week.” Oli informed me as I nodded slowly.

“So, I don' mean t' sound rude or anythin' bu' why d'yeh look so down?” Oli asked as we sat on the couch, trying to work on the project whilst Noah and Drew watched telly.

“Me and Chace broke up.” I whispered, clicking the pen in my hands.

“Oh,” Oli replied softly. “'m sorry.”

“I hate my dad for fucking sending me here.” I growled lowly. Noah and Drew spun around, their little mouths hanging open.

“Silver said a bad word!” Noah screeched, pointing at me.

“Silver! Yeh can't swear in front of them!” Oli yelled, waving his arms around.

“Five minutes on the naughty step.” Drew exclaimed, standing up and grabbing my hand in an attempt at pulling me off the sofa. His twin joined him and grabbed my other hand. I looked over at Oli.

“You cannot be serious.” Oli simply nodded. I groaned and stood up, letting the twins drag me towards the staircase that was in the living room. I sat down with a huff and folded my arms across my chest, glaring at Oliver.

“What? Yeh swore, yeh 'ave t' be punished.” Oli chuckled, standing up and walking over to the kitchen. “Wanna drink guys?” He asked the twins.

“Yeah.” They both replied in unison from their spaces in front of the television. Oli looked at me and raised his eyebrow, silently asking me if I wanted a drink as well. I shook my head and lent back onto the steps behind me. This was going to be a long night.

“Have yeh learned yeh lesson yet love?” Oli whispered seductively, his hot breath tickling my ear. My eyes flickered open to see his face hovering above mine, way too close for comfort. He straightened up and held out a hand to help me up. I took it and followed him over to the couch, curling up in the space I was in before I got moved to 'the naughty step'. How lame.

“We should start working on the project.” I told him, flicking a piece of stray hair out of my eyes.

“Ugh, fine.” He groaned, pulling out a book we were using from my bag. He flicked to the page he was on before we finished up yesterday and buried his face into the book. The look of concentration on his face was priceless. His eyes were scrunched up and his tongue was poking out of his lips slightly.

“Silverrr..” Drew said, turning around to face me. He had a little grin on his baby face, his blue eyes twinkling.

“Yeah?” I replied suspiciously.

“Are yeh Oli's girlfwend?” Noah beat him to the question, a grin on his face that matched his twins. I looked over to Oli who was blushing slightly, his eyes darting from the twins to me then back again.

“No.” I stated quickly.

“Why not?” Drew asked, slightly saddened.

“We're jus' mates. Yeh 'ave girls tha' are jus' mates, don' yeh?” Oli gushed. I smirked at him as he continued to convince the twins that we were just friends.

“Oli loves Silver.” The two of them chanted as they turned their backs to us once more.

“I don't.” Oli groaned, burying his head back into the book to hide the light shade of pink that occupied his pale cheeks.

We managed to work on the project for about twenty minutes before the twins got bored and wanted to play hide and seek. I crouched down in the bath tub that was in Oli's bedroom. Yes, he had a bathroom down there thanks to his father. The shower curtain was pulled forward slightly, hiding me well. The twins had cheered me up tonight, and taken my mind off of Chace. But now I was alone, until Oli found me as he was 'it'. I let memories of the times me and Chace had shared together fill my mind, immediately making tears fall silently down my cheeks. I hugged my knees to my chest, resting my head on them as I cried softly.

“Silver, are yeh okay?” Oli asked quietly, climbing into the bath tub with me. I lifted my head to see him sat opposite me with a concerned expression on his face.

“I-I'm fine.” I choked out, convincing no one.

“C'mere.” He whispered, reaching forward and pulling me into his lap. I buried my face into his shoulder, allowing my tears to soak his shirt. He stroked my back soothingly, resting his chin on the top of my head. His scent relaxed me and something about him calmed me down. Maybe it was just his company, he was able to hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay. I'd get over Chace.. eventually. I couldn't believe I was letting Oli hug me like this. He was the one that done my head in every day. The one that touched me when he didn't even know me. I hated him, didn't I?

After Oli had calmed me down and I had sorted myself out, we went and found the twins. Which wasn't too hard. Five year olds may be able to fit into small places but behind the chair in the corner of the living room isn't exactly impossible to find. Thankfully, they were both tired out and wanted a drink of hot chocolate before bedtime. The two of them would be occupying Toms because Tom was sleeping out tonight. Oli made their drinks whilst they both sat on my lap, curling into me as they got sleepier.

They drunk their drinks fairly quickly and Oli scooped Drew up into his arms, leaving me with Noah. I held his little body in my arms as I followed Oli up the stairs into Toms room. Toms room was the complete opposite to Oli's. For one, it was welcoming. Oli's bedroom was dark and uninviting, it seemed like some sort of cave. The walls in Toms room were painted a light blue, not that you could see much of it. Photographs covered the walls, mostly of Oli's band. Tom was an incredible photographer, I'd give him that. We changed the twins into their pajamas and got them settled into bed, letting them fall asleep as soon as their heads hit the pillows.

“They like yeh.” Oli smiled softly at me. “They've met some of m' girlfriends before an' hated each one of 'em with a passion.” He chuckled.

“Well, what can I say..” I smirked, walking down the stairs quietly.

We sat down on the couch again, enjoying the peaceful silence that now filled the room.

“So, what 'appened between yeh and your boyfriend?” Oli asked curiously.

“We just live too far apart. He didn't think it was gonna work.” I sighed, running a hand through my hair.

“Oh.. 'm sorry.” He mumbled quietly.

“Don't sweat it.” I smiled weakly at him.

“So..” He said slightly louder, slapping his hands onto his thighs.

“Wanna watch a film?” I nodded slowly in reply to his question. “Yeh can choose.” He smiled, pointing to the large collection of DVD's that sat in piles around the TV.

“Is The Strangers okay?” I asked, holding up the DVD in my hand.

“Yeh like scary films?” He asked, a shocked expression on his face.

“Yeah. This ones not that scary though, just jumpy I guess.” I shrugged, putting it into his DVD player.

I walked back over to the couch as Oli turned off the lights, leaving the TV's glow our only source of light. I sat on one end of the couch, Oli at the other. I turned my head slightly to get a better look at him. My eyes met his and we both turned away abruptly. I felt a blush creep onto my cheeks and I was suddenly grateful that Oli had turned the lights off.

We'd been watching the film for about half an hour now and Oli had jumped multiple times, making me laugh each time. We were both sat in the center of the sofa, both of us gripping onto pillows. I always done this whilst watching a scary film and by the looks of this, so did Oliver.

Oli's cool hand removed a piece of hair out of my face, tucking it behind my ear. I slowly lifted my head to look at him, raising an eyebrow. He responded to my unspoken question by leaning closer to me. His warm breath tickled my skin as my breathing increased. His eyes were so beautiful and mesmerizing. I couldn't look away. He closed the gap between us slowly, pressing his soft lips to mine. It was nothing like the first time he kissed me. He waited for me to respond this time. I couldn't believe it when my lips started moving in sync with his. What the hell was I doing!? I love Chace. Then again, I did have to get over him at some point. Maybe Oli could be a good thing. My hands got tangled in his hair as he gently laid me down. His body hovered above mine, only a tiny bit of his weight rested against me as his tongue flicked across my bottom lip. I opened my mouth in response and his warm tongue slipped inside. His tongue massaged mine softly as his hand gripped my hip gently. We both pulled away for air and reality hit me – hard.

“Ol-Oli, that-that shouldn't have happened.” I said quickly, trying to get my breathing back to normal.

“I know, 'm sorry.” He whispered, playing with his hands. Wow, I expected some cocky, self-conceited response. Not an apology.

“I should go.” My voice was quiet as I quickly hopped off of the sofa. He jumped up too, grabbing my wrist lightly.

“No Silver, please stay. L-Lets jus' forget 'bout tha'.. yeah?” He said quickly, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. I nodded slowly and we both sat back down.

“Look, um I-I know yeh probably don' wanna go bu' I was, er wonderin' if yeh wanted t' come t' my mates party tomorrow night. I mean, yeh don' 'ave t' if yeh don' wanna. I jus' thought yeh might wanna meet some new people.” He stuttered.

“Um, sounds cool.” I muttered quietly, fidgeting with my hands in my lap.

“Cool. I'll pick yeh up at seven, alrigh'?” I nodded in reply.

“Oli..” A small voice called from my right. We both turned our heads to see Noah stood in his ninja jim-jams, clutching a small teddy he'd brought with him. His dark hair stuck out in odd directions and he rubbed his eye with his free hand.

“Wha'sup Noah?” Oli asked, concern in his voice. He patted his knee and Noah walked over to us quickly, climbing up onto the sofa and curling into Oli's side.

“I 'ad a bad dream.” He murmured, holding tightly onto Oli's shirt. Oli sighed softly and wrapped his arms around Noah's small frame.

“'S okay mate, was jus' a dream.” He soothed, resting his chin on top of Noah's head.

Seeing Oli like this confirmed that he did actually have a softer side. He wasn't being arrogant, self absorbed or an ass hole. He was just being caring and comforting his little cousin. It was beyond sweet. I actually liked this side of him.