A Ballad For Beulah

And so it was that another year had passed, leaving Beulah alone to contemplate where the last twelve months had taken her.

Sitting at her desk, she flipped to the new page in her diary, writing down her recent thoughts and feelings, but taking that moment to consider how life was for her.

Beulah was thirteen now, had finished up her first year of middle school in San Antonio, and for the first time in her still young life, she had a bedroom all to herself. And it made sense. She was a young woman now. A teenager, even. She needed that privacy.

When the Mason siblings moved to Kelly AFB, Steve was heading into his senior year of high school but he, like Claire before him, refused to leave the state and their other brother -- that brother being Tom. Since Tom was old enough, Steve moved in with him at Berkeley house and did his senior year at a nearby school, leaving the only siblings that Elliot was responsible for any longer as being Larry, now sixteen; Nick, now fourteen; and, obviously, 13-year-old Beulah.

She liked to think that in the months since moving to the Lonestar State, that she'd moved on from her crush over Billie Joe, but it was like this heavy weight in the pit of her stomach anytime she came across something that reminded her of him. When she looked at his picture, her breath got caught in her throat or her heart seemed to skip a beat.

However, she'd had her first boyfriend this past school year. His name was Kevin, and he, pathetically enough, had physical attributes that were indeed similar to that of Billie Joe. She'd kissed Kevin, gone to dances with him, but that was the extent of it. They broke up before Easter break and it didn't bother her any, although, for some reason, Kevin acted somewhat surprised when it ended.

Around the same time, Tom called, letting her know that Billie Joe and the guys had been given a record deal with Warner Bros. and that they were taking it. They would be recording their record in San Francisco with a producer named Rob Cavallo. And when Beulah asked how Billie Joe, himself, was doing, Tom replied that he was doing okay; feeling a little bitter about a breakup with a girl he'd been dating for almost a year that moved away to Ecuador for college to study abroad. But, he was talking with Adrienne again.

Well, at least Billie Joe was doing well. In Beulah's eyes, that was all that really mattered for the guy who was always nice to her since she first met him three years prior.

As for herself, she wasn't giving up hope that she'd one day find that one person to make her happy. To have one home to live in, and not have to think about leaving it after a couple of years. Because she greatly desired stability. She didn't want to have to deal with uprooting anymore.

* * *

Another year later and there were pretty much two new additions to the family.

Whereas Elliot had become engaged to a girl named Monica Rincon who hailed from Corpus Christi, Texas, the second eldest brother, Freddie, who had remained in Ohio since his siblings moved six years prior, was getting married to a young woman named Danielle Wolfe.

Elliot, Larry, Nick and Beulah flew out to Ohio that summer for a week to attend the wedding and festivities. Tom and Steve also flew out from California together to be there, where Tom couldn't believe his eyes over how lovely Beulah had become since he'd last seen her.

And the siblings had all changed so much and grown as people.

Their parents would be proud.

Elliot was now 27 and engaged to a wonderful 'Tex-Mex' girl; Freddie was 25 and newly married, holding down a job as a photographer for a newspaper in Cincinnati for the last three years; Claire was now 23 and had graduated magna cum laude from the University of Cincinnati and had been a news editor at the same paper as Freddie; Tom was 22, working toward his bachelors degree and working as a record store's night manager; Steve was 19 and had just finished his freshman year at Cal Berkeley, majoring in cinematography; Larry was 17, and about to go into his senior year of high school, with plans of going to college to become an English teacher; Nick was 15, enjoying being finished with his first year of high school; and, last but not least, Beulah had just turned 14, and was heading to high school in the fall.

She had changed the most, physically. Her once light blonde hair had become a little more darker, and she'd developed curves on her that should belong to an eighteen year old. And not to mention she'd jumped to a C cup in her bra.

She was definitely growing up.

* * *

In June of 1995, two major things happened.

Larry graduated from high school, having been accepted to attend the University of San Antonio in the fall, and Elliot married Monica.

For the first time in seven years, Beulah would no longer be the only female in the house. But the family had dwindled in size when, in the summer of '96, they moved from San Antonio to Nellis AFB in none other than Sin City, itself.

Las Vegas.

It was now just 29-year-old Elliot, his wife Monica, 17-year-old Nick and 16-year-old Beulah who, once again, continued to blossom into a lovely young woman with each passing day.

Her junior year of high school started in a new school and it didn't take long for her to make new friends.

And a boyfriend named Dan, who was a senior like Nick.

They hung out all the time; going to the movies, going out to eat, going shopping, watching movies at each others' houses, and even making out. And as their relationship developed and the school year neared its close, now 17-year-old Beulah found herself in a position she'd thought about on occasion over the last couple of years.

After her Junior prom, Beulah officially became a woman for the second time, having given her virginity to Dan.

In retrospect, she probably didn't make the best choice in giving it up to him, but at the time, she thought it was really love.

Little did she know that as soon as Dan graduated, he would dump her ass faster than she could blink.

The asshole had stuck with her long enough to get a good send off to college, so to speak, and he also got a walloping from Nick as soon as he got wind. And to say it was a small wallop was an understatement, because during his high school years, Nick had bulked up into football player form. He was all muscle.

And though she would never admit it, Beulah had never felt so cheap in her life. For someone to tell her they loved her and then use her like that and then throw her away without a second thought...

She thought she was special. That he cared. Not just a good lay before he went off to college.

It was moments like this that made it difficult to believe she'd find someone to prove she was indeed worthwhile that wasn't her brothers.

And then, there she was, wearing a smile on her face when she was with others but crying herself to sleep, alone at night. She didn't want anyone to know she was sad or angry. She wanted to be the ray of sunshine that everyone always saw her as. The cliche all-American girl with the cherubic face with blue eyes and blonde hair. The innocent girl who dreams the impossible and makes good with herself. The girl who goes to college and gets a degree, meets the man who'll love her for the rest of her life and then start a family; living in one home for all her years.

Beulah wanted to be a constant in others lives, whereas she had nothing constant in her own. She was always moving because of Elliot's job, and she was unable to make friends long enough to keep a bond that would last a lifetime.

* * *

After Nick had graduated from high school, he still lived at home, but unlike all his siblings before him -- excluding Elliot -- he opted to not go to college. The way he was built, he got a job almost instantly as a bouncer at a nightclub that was located inside a hotel and casino on the Vegas Strip. And he would come home in the early morning, sleep in to the afternoon and by the time he woke up, Beulah was returning from a day at school.

Her last year.

It still amazed her that she'd finally made it to her senior year of high school. But she wasn't surprised at how Elliot had pulled Nick aside and asked him to sleep on the couch from now on or get his own apartment because he and Monica needed the third bedroom for their newborn daughter, Rachel, who would be the third of the next generation of Masons in the family. That being so because Freddie was already a father of two children -- a two-year-old son named Lucas, and a newborn daughter named Candice.

To add to the family's growth, Claire had gotten married over the summer to a generally nice guy named Kevin Parker, who's name reminded Beulah a lot of her first boyfriend.

With the world around her constantly changing, Beulah found some escape in jumping in her car and heading to Nick's new apartment that was off base and located near the Vegas Strip. He had a small, two bedroom apartment that he was sharing with a friend, and the two men weren't getting along all that well as roomies. It was more like they'd be better off not living together, and since Nick had the place first, he kept the apartment.

But that meant he needed someone to help share the rent still, so Beulah made the decision of giving part of the money from her part-time job at McDonalds to her brother who needed it more, but it was also like her signing a contract.

As soon as she graduated, she would be able to move in with him and share the apartment. In return, he'd help her find a good job at a casino doing whatever could pay decently.

Even though Nick insisted the deal was better for him than for her, he still agreed, because he could see Beulah knew something was gonna happen, and she wanted in before whatever it was that was gonna happen, happened.

And, sure enough, not two days after Beulah graduated from high school, Elliot got orders once again to move.

This time to Vance AFB in Enid, Oklahoma with his wife and one-year-old daughter.

It didn't take Beulah long to move her shit into the apartment because she'd been doing it discreetly over the course of the last several months. After she graduated and Elliot walked into her room, he was greatly surprised at how empty the room was.

"Holy shit," her 31-year-old brother muttered. "You're fast."

"No, I'm not," Beulah insisted, picking up her last box full of her belongings. "I've been packing my things up, a little at a time, for a few months now." She was, for the first time in her life, about eye level with her eldest brother, being that she was finally eighteen and legal. "You'd have noticed if you weren't so busy with the family you made instead of overlooking the one you already had."

"What's that supposed to mean, huh?"

"It means, El, that since you got married and had Rachel, as much as I do love them both, you haven't had the time to spare for any of us. Especially for Larry, Nick and me."

Elliot watched her huff a little as she moved past him with the box in her hands and then walked down the hallway. "Wait a minute. Get your ass back here."

"I don't have to anymore, Elliot," she remarked. "You may have been the only father figure I really ever knew, but you're not my dad. We lost our dad before I had a chance to really know who he was. You should've seen that and tried a little harder."

"Tried a little harder? I raised all of you and fed you and kept a roof over your heads for the last twelve years! I helped you all out when you needed to borrow some cash for college and getting your first cars!"

"In case you forgot, El, I'm not going to college, and neither has Nick. We're not the others, and we didn't get money from you for our cars! We paid for them on our own! You haven't done anything to help us out in the last couple of years and now that I'm eighteen I am gonna finally tell you what I think because your job as guardian ends with me. I'm 18, I've graduated from high school. Your job here is done," she spat bitterly.

Elliot frowned and let Beulah push through the front door, open the trunk of her car and drop the box inside.

"Beulah, I'm sorry if I sucked as a dad, but I didn't know how to be one. Hell, I was only 19 when I got all seven of you. I was Nick's age. And, it felt more like a babysitting job then raising my brothers and sisters," he explained. "And I lost out on my youth because I was taking care of all of you, so pardon me if I became hard and bitter and happily turned my attentions to my wife and daughter when I knew you'd all be fine."

"You didn't have to leave us in the dirt, though."

"That's not what I was--"

"Have fun in Oklahoma," Beulah interrupted as she hopped into her car and turned the engine on. "If you can find the time between your jobs at the airfield and at home as a loving husband and father, maybe you can come see your youngest brother and sister before you leave town. Otherwise, tell Monica I said bye and tell Rachel that Aunt Beulah loves her."

With that, Beulah backed out of the driveway and pulled off down the street. She winded through the other side streets until she came to the main road that lead her straight off the Air Force base for the last time and out into civilian territory.

Rolling her windows down because the air conditioning was broken, she clicked on her radio and flipped through some channels just as a Red Hot Chilli Peppers song was ending.

"This next song is a dedication to the Class of '98 and all those high school graduates -- or dropouts -- who are ready to take their next move in life. Best of luck to you all. And have the time of your lives," the deejay spoke as chords off an acoustic guitar filled Beulah's car, making her heart jump into her throat.

"Another turning point / A fork stuck in the road / Time grabs you by the wrist / Directs you where to go / So make the best of this test and don't ask why / It's not a question but a lesson learned in time / It's something unpredictable / And in the end it's right / I hope you had the time of your life..."

Billie Joe.

She'd never forgotten him. But she never bought his albums since the band took off. No, instead, she got the albums before they even hit the stores, since Tom was still close friends with Billie Joe, Mike and Tre.

She also knew that as of recent, Billie Joe had started his own independent record label with Adrienne Nesser, who'd become his wife four years earlier and, according to Tom, given him a son named Joey who was three at this point and another was on the way in just a few short months. And with Tom's degree in business and experience of managing a record store for five years, Billie Joe and Adrienne had given him a job in sales at Adeline Records.

She was glad her brother was doing well, especially since he had gotten married a few weeks before.

Beulah had wanted to attend but she had one of her first final exams she couldn't skip out on or she wouldn't be able to graduate. Instead, she sent her love and well-wishes and now, she was at her own turning point, wondering what she'd do from here on out.

"So take the photographs and still frames in your mind / Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time / Tattoos and memories and dead skin on trial / For what it's worth, it was worth all the while / It's something unpredictable / And in the end it's right / I hope you had the time of your life.."