A Ballad For Beulah

Well, unfortunate to say, Billie Joe never ended up calling Beulah back.

He'd been so overcome with guilt that he threw himself into focusing on the tour and making amends with Adrienne, doing whatever he could to make sure his marriage was stronger than ever. And that's just what happened, too.

The tour eventually came to a close and Billie Joe devoted his time to his family; his wife and sons.

But that's not to say he didn't think about Beulah. He did feel terribly guilty over igrnoring her. When Tom would approach him whenever he went to Adeline Records, her brother would mention Beulah calling him to see how Billie Joe was doing which, of course, raised the older Mason's curiosity. So, the punk rocker related that he was doing fine, but eventually the guilt seemed to gnaw at his insides.

When Green Day went touring again in 2001, there were three days that the group would be in Las Vegas. From July 25th -- the day of their concert at the Cox Pavilion -- to July 27th; the day before a show in Denver.

The day after the Vegas show, Billie Joe tried looking in the phone book to get a hold of Beulah but she was unlisted. He even stopped by the Bellagio and the Luxor. Two hotels and casino resorts he knew she'd been working at, but she, apparently didn't work there anymore. And then, when he found the apartment building she'd lived in a year before, he learned she'd moved.

Now, of course, Billie Joe could've called up Tom and gotten her address and new phone number, but he thought that by making that simple call, his guilt would overpower him and he'd blab about sleeping with her.

He found himself sitting in his hotel room in the evening before they left for Denver, nursing a longneck bottle of Budweiser and watching some TV as his mind remained distracted.

A knock on his door drew him out of his daydreaming and he turned his head.

Getting to his feet he walked over to the door and looked through the peep hole, then pulled the door open.

"Hey," he muttered, stepping out of the way for Mike to step inside.

"What's the matter? Not gonna enjoy our last night in Vegas?"

"Nah, I'm not in the mood tonight."

"Aw, well, I was thinking we could get a hold of Beulah since we're in town, see how she's doing..."

Billie Joe shook his head. "I already tried. I checked where she works and lives, and she doesn't work or live in those places anymore..."

"Well, then, just give Tom a call. He'll give us her---"

"No, don't bother. It's too late anyway. We gotta leave later tonight as it is. It'd be too last minute."

Mike watched as Billie Joe walked further into the hotel room, holding his beer not that far from his lips. "I suppose if she wanted to get a hold of us she probably could've too. I mean, she had your number right?" When Billie Joe didn't respond, Mike's face fell. "Fuck, Bill. You never gave her your number so we could play catch up with her?"

"You didn't either!"

"Actually, yeah, I did, Billie."

Billie Joe lowered his beer and looked directly at Mike, narrowing his green eyes. "You did?"

"Uh, yeah," Mike muttered as if it were obvious.

"Well, there you go. She could've called you if she wanted to get a hold of any of us. But she didn't, so clearly she's got her own life to deal with right now..."

Mike let out a frustrated laugh. "You're really something, Billie." He shook his head and began to move back toward the door. "I know there's something you're not telling me, but you know what? I'm gonna let it slide, because clearly you don't think I need to know about whatever it is. So, fine. Whatever. I'll see you on the bus later."

With that, Mike walked out of Billie Joe's hotel room and shut the door behind him, leaving the guitarist to stew alone in his thoughts.

* * *

Looking at herself in the mirror, Beulah frowned.

She was unhappy with how she looked, especially in her midsection and thighs. Losing weight was gonna be a bitch but she was sure she could do it.

Checking for stray strands of hair that might have fallen loose from her updo, she applied a coat of lipstick and stepped from her bedroom to smile at the middle aged woman sitting on her couch.

"Thanks for coming tonight, Evelyn. I know it was kinda last minute, but..."

"No, it's okay. You work hard 24 hours a day, seven days a week. You go out and have fun with your friends."

"I'm gonna try, that's for sure. I mean, I think it's been about four months since I've been able to do anything for just me. I didn't even get to celebrate my 21st birthday so, hopefully tonight is the night for that."

Beulah's neighbor, Evelyn, smiled and nodded. "You're still young. Don't forget that, honey. I'll take care of things here and make sure the apartment doesn't burn down or anything. And I have your cell phone number, so don't worry."

"Okay," Beulah sighed, giving her apartment one last look. "I won't be gone too late. And thanks again."

"It's nothing. Just go already."

Smirking, the blue-eyed young woman nodded. "Okay, okay. I'm gone."

* * *

Mike and Tre walked side by side down the Strip, having abandoned their cab and deciding a nice walk around Sin City would be a fun thing to do before they had to leave,

"So, Billie Joe has a stick up his ass?" Tre questioned.

"Something like that," Mike replied. "I think something happened here in Vegas last year, and he won't talk about it."

"What do you think it's about?"

"Beulah, I think."

"Tom's little sister?"

Mike looked at Tre and narrowed his eyes. "What other Beulah do you know of?"

"Point taken," the drummer muttered.

They continued walking, deciding to walk into one more random casino for a bit of gambling before heading back. And just as they walked inside, a taxi pulled up and a valet helped the occupants out.

One of them was Beulah.

Pushing her hair behind her ears, she bit her lip, looking up at the casino and letting out a laugh. The brunette friend at her side patted her shoulder, gave her a side squeeze, and pressed her cheek against Beulah's.

"How's it feel to finally let loose?"

Beulah shrugged. "I dunno. The night's just begun and I haven't done anything yet aside from taking a cab ride."

"Well, then, best we get you inside and fill you up with dancing, gambling and lotsa liquor."

"Some friends I have," Beulah remarked with a smile. "Just trying to get me wasted."

"Well, how else are we supposed to take advantage of you?" her black friend joked as the three of them stepped into the casino.

* * *

Mike grabbed a drink from a waiter walking around the casino as he stood beside Tre, who was busy at the craps tables. The leaner man's blue eyes smiled as did his lips as he listened to Tre's exclaims of triumph when he rolled the dice and won a certain amount of money.

Bringing his drink to his lips, Mike looked over the rim but then stopped before he took a sip.

"Tre," he muttered.

"What?" Tre questioned, rather distracted as he looked to see what he'd rolled, then grimacing when it wasn't exactly what he needed or wanted.

"Is that Beulah?" Mike pointed with his free hand through the crowd of bodies.

Tre lifted his head briefly and narrowed his eyes. "Where are you pointing?" Mike gestured where, and Tre focused some more. "I dunno, all I see is a black woman in a red dress. Is that where you're pointing?"

"Yeah, but I could've swore I saw her walking with that woman, talking with her," Mike replied with a nod.

* * *

Lauren, the brunette friend of Beulah's, gave the blonde a nudge in the side when she came out of the bathroom.

"What?" Beulah questioned.

"There was a guy looking your way when you went into the bathroom."

"What guy?"

"Well, I don't see him anymore but he was over by the craps tables, and I think he frowned when he couldn't see you anymore."

"He was looking for me?" Beulah remarked.

"Don't ask me," replied Krystle, her other friend. "I didn't see it."

Beulah furrowed her brow and shrugged it off a little. "Hmm...well, whatever. Right?"

"Exactly. Tonight, is Girls' Night Out. Last thing we wanna deal with is men," Krystle announced.

"I second that," Lauren commented.

"I third it," Beulah added with a laugh.

* * *

As the tour bus headed out of Vegas later that night, Billie Joe was lying on his side in his bunk, trying to fall asleep, when he heard the curtain that gave him privacy from the rest of the bunk area, ruffle open. Turning over and lifting his head, he looked up at Mike who was crouching slightly and looking at him as he sat on his own bunk across from the guitarist, leaning forward.

"What?" Billie grunted.

"Nice to see you're still awake."

"Just barely. What the fuck do you want?"

"To chat," Mike replied with a knowing smile.

"About..."

"Well, let's just say I'm positive I saw Beulah at the casino Tre and I went to earlier. And from what I think I saw, she looked good. A little fuller in the face and body from what I could tell, but we all put on some weight now and again."

"How can you be sure it was her?"

"I can't, but my gut tells me it was."

"Okay," Billie Joe sighed. "So, is there a point to all this? You think you saw Beulah. Fine. Did you bother going up to her to make sure?"

"No, I didn't see her again after that moment. Tre and I ended up moving on to something else and each time I kept checking the crowd of people, I came up empty handed. But I'll tell you something I just noticed when I said I saw her at the casino..."

"Thought you saw," Billie Joe corrected.

"Same difference," Mike waved off. "You wanna know what I noticed, Bill? What I know I saw?"

The green-eyed guitarist sighed. "What, Mike? What did you see?"

"Guilt," he replied frankly. "And that's not something I see in you, if ever. I mentioned possibly seeing Beulah, and the more I think of it, I'm pretty damned sure I did see her, and what kills me, is that you looked so damn guilty at the sheer mention of her name," Mike rattled. "Explain that to me."

"There's nothing to explain," Billie Joe insisted, looking away and trying to roll back over so that he was no longer facing his best friend.

But Mike wouldn't have it. Leaning forward a little more, Mike gave Billie Joe a shove and then sat back as the guitarist whipped his head around and scowled.

"What the fuck do you want from me, Mike?"

"He wants your ass!" came Tre's voice.

Both older men turned their heads in the direction of the front of the bus where Tre was supposedly talking on the phone with his wife, Claudia.

"Fuck off, Tre!" Billie Joe snipped.

"Yes, sir!" the drummer yelled back.

Mike looked back at Billie Joe, who looked at him, then looked down.

"Why is it so important to know what's going on in my head?" Billie Joe inquired.

"Because you're my best friend, Bill. We've known each other since the fifth grade. That's almost twenty years. And after twenty years I know you better than you know yourself sometimes, so when you say nothing's wrong, I know that's a bunch of bullshit. I know you, Billie. Don't lie to me."

Billie Joe narrowed his eyes, studying his hands, most importantly his left one as he fiddled nervously with the wedding band on his ring finger. "You couldn't begin to understand."

"Try me."

Sighing, Billie Joe took a few moments to gather his thoughts before speaking, though still avoiding eye contact with his friend and bandmate. "Last year when we were here in Vegas, I was going through that rough spell with Adie and we were fighting almost nonstop. It was ridiculous. And I was tired of it all. I felt like throwing in the towel and I thought the only thing left to do was file for divorce."

Mike frowned at his friend's words. He knew the smaller man was having a rough time. A few of the songs that had been written for 'Warning' was Billie Joe's attempts at trying to fix his relationship when they were recording, but the tension in the older man's marriage had spilled over into touring time as well.

"So I went out, alone, and decided to be oh so cliche and drown my sorrows while gambling a little at the Bellagio," Billie Joe continued. "Perhaps my first mistake..."

As the older man trailed, Mike began to fear the worst. "What happened, Bill?"

"I was sitting in the restaurant, at the bar, having a glass of Jack when I saw this...really pretty lady walk by in the corner of my eye. I was checking her out. You know. There's nothing wrong with that. Then she turned around and was talking to the bartender. She was working there, cleaning tables. And she looked at me."

"It was Beulah, wasn't it? You said you'd run into her at the Bellagio and got together with her to chat and catch up on how she'd been doing."

Mike knew all this, but what was Billie Joe getting to?

"You have to make me a promise, Mike," Billie Joe started before he went on. "Promise me that whatever I tell you, stays between you and me and that you'll take it to the grave."

"What'd you do? Pair up with Beulah and kill some ugly, old prostitute named Sparkles?" Mike attempted to joke.

Billie Joe didn't bother responding to that as he took a steady breath and looked Mike in the eyes.

"Just promise me."

"Alright, alright," Mike replied. "I promise."

Licking his upper lip, Billie Joe propped himself up and leaned forward, gesturing for Mike to meet him halfway.

"After me and her got ice cream at Dairy Queen," Billie Joe began in a soft whisper. "I kissed her."

"You what?"

"Shut up," Billie Joe hissed quietly.

"Sorry."

"But that's not all I did." Billie Joe looked down as he sat up a little more and folded his hands between his knees. Rocking back and forth ever so slightly, he looked up at his friend, met by the curious expression that Mike wore. "We went back to her place, and, uh...I slept with her."

Mike blinked. Once. Then twice. He wasn't sure how to respond. How to react. How to think.

"We went at it for a while that night. On her living room floor, in her bedroom...and I think once in the kitchen," Billie Joe remarked, knitting his brow in his guilt and from recalling the memory. "But then I woke up in the morning -- the day of the show -- and all I could think about was how I'd just fucked up something good. But that's if Adie found out. I mean, I love Adrienne so goddamn much and I knew then and there that the last thing I wanted to do was give up on my marriage, but..."

"But what?" Mike inquired cautiously.

"That didn't stop me from sleeping with Beulah once more. After I...after I woke up. I just couldn't help it. She was so pretty and so innocent, and she looked at me with such...admiration. It had been forever since I'd felt so adored by a woman. Adrienne looks at me with love and devotion, sure, but it was different, and even though I knew I shouldn't, I couldn't help it. I couldn't get it out of my mind..."

"You cheated on Adrienne with Beulah? With Tom's little sister?"

"I didn't plan on it. And I'm not passing the blame on the alcohol I drank, because I knew what I was doing. But I wanted to be with her, if just for that night."

"Is that how Beulah saw it? As just a one night stand? I mean, you already admitted that you haven't spoken to her since that night. Did she know you were gonna 'Wine, Dine, 69' her?"

Billie Joe furrowed his brow again and shook his head. "No. She didn't know. I...I told her I'd call her. I knew I wasn't going to, but I still told her I was. I just couldn't lie to her; not to her face."

"Instead you chose to use her and throw her away, and lie to her over the course of a year," Mike scoffed. "Well, I'm sure that made her feel so much better."

The bassist began to stand up, shaking his head at Billie Joe.

"I didn't want to hurt her," Billie Joe assured.

"Well, if I'm right, and I did in fact see her, I'm sure she's not dwelling on you anymore. She looked like she was going out for a night of fun with some friends," Mike spoke with disappointment in his voice. "It's just a little sad to think that you fucked and then fucked over the girl who once had a crush on you when she was just a little kid. The girl you called your surrogate baby sister and added to our thank yous in Kerplunk!"

"I didn't plan on it," Billie Joe continued to insist.

"I believe you didn't plan on it, but it doesn't change the fact that you still did it," Mike replied. "Now, I'll stay true to my promise and not tell anyone about this, but you can't keep it to yourself forever, because sooner or later, it'll come back to haunt you."

"Let's hope that won't be anytime soon."