So What If I Never Hold You?

Bella's P.O.V.
Monday morning came quickly after the night I'd had the night before. After finding out that I was pregnant with a rape child and staying up most of the night thinking of how I was going to deal with it, I knew there was nowhere to go but up. So, I slammed the off button on the alarm got up and started going into the bathroom. I had been careful of what I ate the night before, and what I did eat didn't end up as morning sickness, luckily. I came out a bit later with my hair straightened and teeth brushed and I made my way into my room. Once in my room, I got dressed in dark gray skinny jeans, a black tank top, with a tied, white button up over it, and by black Converse. I grabbed some bracelets, my music note pendant, and whatever jewelry I felt like grabbing. Once I was dressed, I grabbed my messenger bag, and my purse. I went downstairs and ate breakfast. Like routine, I finished my breakfast shortly before Brian's knock was played on the door. I put the dish in the sink with some water, grabbed my stuff and went outside to meet with the wonderful Brian Haner. “Good morning, Bella, how did you sleep?” He asked me after giving me a quick kiss.

“Ok, um, how about you?” I asked him as we made our way to his Mustang.

“I slept well. Oh hey, Dad said you stopped by yesterday, he said you looked upset, is there anything I need to know?” Brian asked me. I nearly stopped in my tracks as that had been brought up.

“No, it's nothing, hey look, I think I'm going to take my car,”

“You don't have to, I just wanted to make sure...”

“No, I'm taking my own damn car this morning,” I cut him off and went to my driver's side. I got my keys out of the bag and opened the door. I placed the stuff on the passenger seat and waited for Brian to move. Once he was gone, I pulled out of the driveway and made my way to school. It didn't take very long to actually get there, but my mind got me in trouble lately as I thought about the night before. I decided that I was keeping the baby. It wasn't its fault, and I couldn't let him have the psychological problems that most adopted children feel. I parked the car in the parking lot, grabbed my stuff and started towards the building. I was inside and people stared, as I rarely left Brian's side, and he wasn't with me. I heard whispers, but couldn't catch what was said. I blew them off and found my group. “Morning, guys!” I smiled as cheerily as possible when I found the group.

I notice them look at me funny then blink as if they were missing something. Then Cayla asked me something. “Umm, Belle, where's Brian?” She asked me. Just as she did, heard Brian's voice down the hallway.

“Hey, Bells, did I do something wrong?” He asked me coming up to me. Cayla, and the rest of them, were astounded hearing those words.

“No, why would you think that?” I said returning the question.

He gave me a puzzled look. “Well, the way you said that you wanted to take your own car was a bit pissy. I just wanted to make sure you were alright,” He explained.

“Oh, no, look, I'm just not feeling very good, I think I'm just going to class,” I said then walked off.

Fast Forward to the last bell of school
The group and I walked out of the choir room, and we were on our way to the front of the school. Brian had been pretty quiet around me, as well as everyone else. But, I got the same looks from them as other people. “Hey, guys, I have to go get some help on an assignment for Mrs. Broger, I'll catch you guys later,” I said, knowing that we'd meet up at choir rehearsal. I walked off after we all said our goodbyes.

After Mrs. Broger helped me with the start of the essay she was having us write, I grabbed my stuff and went around to one of the bathrooms. I walked in, but who I saw wasn't appealing to me. “Well, look who it is girls,” Faith said smuggly. Shit, I thought as I then ran out of the bathroom. I wish I dropped my stuff and that I was a good runner, but I wasn't, because it was less than a minute later that I tripped over my own footing and was being picked up by the arms by her lackeys. And they couldn't be the weak, girly lackeys, they were the fucking huge ass ones that could pass for dudes on steroids.

“Let me go!” I screamed as Faith came up. She arms were crossed across her chest and she still had the same smug look on her face.

“Why would I do that?” She said before she punched me in the stomach. I screamed in pain as she kept punching me. She only went for the face once, and busted my lip. But soon, she wasn't punching, she was kicking. It was then that I knew there couldn't be a child left for me to even tell mom about.

“You fucking bitch! You killed it!” I screamed as I tried to struggle free. I hadn't once shed a tear, but soon the tears were stinging my still busted lip as I was cursing and screaming at her. She only laughed and when she finished she and her lackeys threw me in a janitor's closet, the kind that is locked on the inside. From the time they shut the door, I screamed and yelled. Someone was bound to find me eventually, but as time went by no one came. So, eventually I stop screaming, but I was sure my sobs were just as loud.

Brian's P.O.V.
It was abut time for choir practice, and I had been watching Bella's house, and she never once came home. I didn't think that it could take that long, but finally I decided that she had to take a while and decided to just stay up there for practice. So, when time came, I got into my Mustang and drove up to the school. I got to the school and parked right next to her car, thanking God that she was at least somewhere in the school. First thing I did was go into the choir room. She hadn't been there, and the only person there was Mr. Barret. I walked into his office. “Mr. Barret, have you seen Miranda today?” I asked him, now getting worried.

“Not since class, why?” He asked me.

“Because she didn't come home, and her car is still here,” I said, I got the sick churning feeling like something was wrong. “Mr. Barret, I need to go find her, is it ok if I'm late to rehearsals?”

“Sure, if you don't find her in an hour come to me and we'll get a search party,” He said.

I went out of the room, finding Matt, Val, Johnny, Zacky, and Cayla. I sighed, the feeling deepening knowing she wasn't with them. “Hey guys, search the school, I can't find Bella,” I said. They could tell that I feared something bad happened.

“Brian, when was the last time you saw her?” Matt asked as everyone besides him and Valary had gone looking.

“When we left school the first time,” I said. Matt and Val both turned white.

“Ok, let's go then,” Val said, taking off running. She started with yelling Bella's name through the hallway. I followed, hoping to hear Bella's voice somewhere.

It wasn't long before I was split off by myself looking for Bella. I was in the English Arts hallway, where her Shakespearean Literature class was. I said Bella's name loudly, but gave time in between to hear a reply. Finally I did. “Bella? Please say something, Bells!” I yelled.

Then I heard a muffled voice from behind some door. “Brian? Where are you? Get me out of here please,” I heard her voice say before she began pounding on a door. It was the door to the janitorial closet. I nearly ran to the door, throwing it open, and feeling Bella's arms go around my waist and nearly continuous sobs. “They killed him, Bri-Bri. They killed him,” I heard her say through tears and into my shirt.

“Who killed who?” I asked puzzled, thinking she was delirious.

“Faith.... Brian she killed my baby. My beautiful baby,” She sobbed more into my shirt.

I felt my face go white, and my stomach churn worse than before. Why didn't she tell me. “Bells, I don't care how much you hate hospitals, we got to go, now!” I demanded. She only nodded and we walked down the hall. We came to the lockers where we sat in the morning and found the rest of the group. Their eyes each grew wide as they saw the scab forming one Bella's lip and the smeared mascara and eyeliner. “Johnny, go tell Mr. Barret, we can't make it. Bella needs to go to a hospital,” I told Johnny, who simply nodded and ran off to the choir room.

“We're going with you,” Val said.

“Ok, but take your own car, I'm staying there till Bella get out,” I said, then as all of us walked to the cars. The incoming choir kids stared and you could see them each wonder about who did this to her. She didn't deserve this, she deserved none of this.