You Know I Need You, Just Like You Need Me

Julie bought the test for me, and I sat in her car on the way back to the studio, shaking and bobbing my knee up and down. ‘I’m not. I cant be, its not possible.’ I mumbled to myself over and over.

‘Marta, dear. I think you find it is possible. I wont for a second believe you and Frank have been together two year…four if you don’t like to include the gap, and never had sex.’ Julie stated, raising her eyebrow up at me.

‘Well…yes, we have. But I’m not pregnant.’ I told her. ‘I cant be. It just…isn’t possible!’ I knew it was, I just didn’t want to believe it.

We arrived at the studio and Julie rushed me towards the toilets. ‘Go pee.’ She ordered and walked me into the toilets.

‘I don’t want to.’ I said trying to give the box with the stick I had to pee on, back to her.

‘Well I don’t want it, I’m not pregnant.’ She boasted playfully. ‘Its going to take two minutes. Just do it.’ Julie said, then nudged me a little into one of the cubicles.

I reluctantly did the test after five minutes of staring at the box and not wanting to take it out. ‘You done?’ Julie called from just outside the toilet door.

‘Yes.’ I mumbled and unlocked the door, holding the stick out in front of me. ‘Plus or minus?’ I asked her, praying for a minus.

Julie stared at it for a second, twisting her facial features, squinting her eyes to see what came out. After a few minutes, her smile spread across her face.

‘Plus!’ She squealed. I looked at the stick myself, shaking it to try and make it change.

‘You’re wrong!’ I yelled at the test, trying to make it change.

‘Marta, they don’t lie. You’re pregnant.’ Julie beamed, hugging me. ‘Do you want to call Frank?’ She asked me, excited.

‘No, not yet…I don’t want to tell him. He’s just started his tour, he doesn’t need this.’ I said, a little shocked that I was, in fact, going to be a mother.

‘He has to know, Marta. You cant just let him come back to see you with this huge bump growing off you.’ Julie stated. ‘I’m sure this will make him happy.’

‘But he’ll want to come home, he’ll make a fuss, make sure I’m ok. I want him to tour.’ I half lied.

‘But you couldn’t wait to have him home before.’ Julie said. ‘Please, tell him?’ She begged.

‘Not yet, I will…just later. When I have my first scan, to make sure everything’s fine and I don’t miscarriage, because I would hate to upset him like that.’ I told her.

‘I completely understand.’ Julie replied, a smile still attached to her lips. ‘I’m going to be an aunty!’ She beamed, flinging her arms around me, happy dancing.