Sinister Smile With a Hole in My Heart

Halloween was here, and Kate had some tricks up her sleeve and treats in her nasal cavity. She sat tapping her feet, antsy. The substance she’d earlier snorted had that effect on her. Tracing her fingers across a placemat in front of her on the table in the local deli she checked her clock again. Six fifteen.
Jack had a tendency of being late, and today was no exception.
“KATE! MEET ME AT THE DELI ON FOURTH STREET AT SIX! I HAVE SOME AMAZING NEWS!” he’d excitedly yelled onto her voicemail. Kate had been…busy at the moment and had texted him back in return to confirm the plans.
At first after Jack had accused her of having an eating disorder, and seeing Jack had made her ridden with anxiety and guilt since she had admitted it to cover up her secret. But the more she’d seen him the easier it had gotten. He actually even thought that she was getting better. He was impressed with her “better eating” and she had even faked a bit of a struggle. The fact that she had been fired wasn’t as easy to hide.
A lanky figure walked into the door, with what seemed like a bounce in his step, and Kate knew it was her Jack.
“Hey,” she smiled sweetly, and leaned over placing a kiss on his cheek when he sat down across the small table from her.
“Hi baby,” A wide grin almost took over his whole face.
“What’s going on?!” Kate asked giddily trying to seem as sober as possible.
“Let’s order first,” he tortured her looking over the menu.
“Ok.” Kate agreed impatiently.
The blonde waitress was over to the table before Jack had had even a second to glance at the menu. She was tall with a thin frame and was staring at Jack with a silly grin plastered across her face.
“Hi Jack.”
Jack looked up in surprise and then smiled politely. “Hi…there.”
“What can I get you, two…to drink?” Her eyes didn’t leave Jack.
So apparently she is aware that someone else is at the table. I wouldn’t have guessed from the way she hasn’t stopped checking Jack out since he got here Kate scowled.
“Waters,” Jack said pleasantly and the waitress hastily went to fetch their beverages.
“Who’s that?” Kate asked with an attitude present in her tone.
Jack picked up on the tone instantly and couldn’t help but chuckle a little at his girlfriend’s jealous. Jack only had eyes for Kate and he found it adorable that she would get territorial.
“Her? Oh just some girl that comes to all of our shows. Honestly, I can’t even remember her name.”
The answer was satisfactory for Kate who glanced at the menu. The drugs had gone straight to her head and she wasn’t at all hungry, but for show decided to order something.
The waitress was back in less then a minute with the drinks and as Jack appraised the menu, she appraised him.
“What can I get you?”
“I’LL have the cob salad.” Jack shot Kate a look. Ah, what the hell. “And a grilled cheese sandwich,” she said briefly taking the attention of the waitress.
“And for you?”
“I’ll take just a burger,” Jack handed the menu to the girl and turned his attention back to Kate.
The girl didn’t take the hint.
“How would you like that cooked?”
“Medium well.” Jack didn’t look at her this time when he replied.
“Ok. Great. Oh by the way Jack, congratulations on tour!” she said walking away with a smile and Jack’s face fell in disappointment.
“Tour?” Kate asked sitting up straighter with a smile beginning to form.
“Surprise.” He said weakly. “At least it was supposed to be,” he wallowed.
“BABY!” Kate jumped up ran to the side of her boyfriend and gave him a kiss. “This is huge! I’m so proud of you guys. When did this happen? When is the tour? Where?”
Jack kissed her again now excited again. “I found out last week, after the night when I picked you up…But I waited to tell you until I had everything out and I could ask you!”
“Ask me?” she was confused and sat back in her seat.
“Well, the tour, it’s like a mini tour. Two weeks. In big cities, shows that record labels will be at. But majority of the shows are in California. However for two days we will be in Seattle, and I want you to come!”
“Seattle?” Kate faltered. There was a reason she left. And it wasn’t just for Jack, and a case of homesickness.
“Yeah, I thought it would be nice for you to show me around out there. We’d have a good time. And I want to take you out there, you’ve been doing so good with your eating.” He said softly, “the only problem is we leave in two days, and I know you might not be able to take the time off of work…”
Oh no. Work. Oh no. Seattle. But Jack in Seattle. That sounded fantastic. And what's the chance I’ll see him there? I mean honestly, Seattle is huge.
“Actually,” Kate lied, “This is perfect. I have vacation for the next week and a half and the other half I can fly home, or have someone cover for me!”
Jack’s whole face was a smile. “This is going to be great!”

+++

“This is going to be horrible!” Rian sighed wondering how he got roped into this again.
“Relax,” Zack said throwing on a shirt over his chiseled physique. Zack was crazy about working out and staying fit and you could tell by the way he looked. “It’s just ONE date.”
“I don’t know about this,” Rian said again, “I mean how old is this girl? She’s old enough to drive right?” he joked.
“Ha ha.” Zack dryly faked a laugh. “Michelle said she’s eighteen. She’s one of her best friends. And that’s all I know.”
“Fine, but I make no promises,” Rian said as he threw a band shirt on.
“Want some,” Maggie offered the piece in her hand to Michelle who shook her head no in reply. While Maggie was her bestfriend from school, Maggie’s favorite activity was to smoke weed. A lot. And Michelle was more of a recreational user.
Maggie shrugged in reply. “Ok.”
Maggie was the complete opposite in looks then Michelle. While Michelle was on the taller end of girls at 5’7”, Maggie stood at 5 foot. Michelle’s light brown hair was straight and always nicely styled while Maggie’s naturally black hair, sat naturally waving. If there was a word to describe Maggie it was natural. She didn’t wear makeup or stylish clothes; opting instead for a clear face and comfortable clothes. Somehow though, in a way that only Maggie could, she pulled it off and looked adorable and pretty doing it.
“Slow down, you don’t want to be burnt out before you even meet him,” Michelle warned.
“Why do you think I’m smoking so much,” Maggie said with a laugh taking another toke.
After Maggie was done, the two girls, who had been in Maggie’s car outside of the boys’ apartment, got out of the car and made their way to the door.
“What’s my boy’s name again,” Maggie asked with a dazed look that had grown to be her signature facial expression.
“Rye-Ann.” Michelle sounded out slowly and Maggie could not contain herself from hysterically laughing.
Zack answered the door and Michelle leaned in for a kiss as Maggie smiled to herself.
“Come on in,” Zack invited them inside.
Rian sat on the couch watching as the two girls entered the house. Michelle said hello with a bright smile and when Maggie walked in he instantly thought she was pretty, but something was off with her.
“Do I smell-,” he started and Michelle began to laugh.
“Weed?” Zack finished for him and the four of them all laughed together mainly at Maggie’s amusement and the obvious fact that she was as high as a kite.
When the laughing settled down, Michelle introduced the two.
“Mags, this is Rian. Ri, this is Maggie.” Maggie sent Rian a smile that might have signaled that tonight might not be so horrible, but then she started laughing again randomly.
Maybe not.

+++

Alex shuffled his feet as he rang the doorbell waiting for a response. Jane Barakat answered the door, and gave a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.
“Well hello Alex.” Since the death of her husband almost a year ago, Jane had never been the same. The anti-depressants or whatever she was on was strong and the woman she once was, was now only half of her.
“Hi Mrs. Barakat,” Alex tried to muster a smile.
“Alex, I’ve been telling you for years that it’s ok to call me Jane,” she protested in a good natured manner and Alex gave a polite laugh. He now felt a bit uncomfortable alone with the presence of Jane Barakat.
“Well,” Jane continued to say, “Jack actually is out right now.”
“That’s ok,” Alex said softly, “I’m actually here to see Jill.”
Jane laughed at the way the boy’s statement came out. Very unsure, more like a question.
It hurt Alex to hear her laugh. Her once unique deep bellows were now reduced to a small chuckle.
“Oh, ok then,” she said stepping beside the doorway so Alex could step into the house. “You can catch her upstairs. You got here just in time she is about to leave.”
“Leave?” Alex tilted his head and his eyebrows went up and joined together at the center of his forehead. “To go where?”
“Oh, she’s taking Drew out in his cute little Halloween costume to the mall.”
Alex made his way upstairs feeling sort of awkward as he approached the room that had once been the guest room and now was the resident nursery. The door was open, and Alex could see Jill changing Drew’s diaper with her back to him, yet he knocked anyway.
Jill turned around for a millisecond to see who was at the door then returned to the task at hand.
“Hi Alex?”
“Hey,” Alex paused unsure, “Can I come in?”
“Uh, yeah, sure,” Kate was distracted by pulling the baby up and zippering the outfit he was in.
“Isn’t this adorable?!” she asked as she turned Drew around revealing the tiny baby in a onesie with a hood. It was a lion costume and the hood had a fake mane around the face and little ears on top.
Alex smiled in response. “Yeah. But isn’t he a little young to be getting dressed up for Halloween.”
“Well Alex Gaskarth, you of all people should know that you are never too old, or too young for Halloween.”
Alex laughed and scoffed, “You sound like your brother. He insisted on dressing up and trick or treating every year until he turned 18 and absolutely everyone refused to go with him.”
“Ah, yes,” Jill said in a mockingly intellectual voice, “And where do you think he got into the spirit? We Barakat’s go Halloween crazy mister.”
“Well I’m sorry I interrupted you, but I was wondering what you two were doing tonight,” Alex said referring to Jill and Drew.
“Actually, I had plans to take Drew out to hang out at the mall for the first time and meet up with a friend.”
“Oh,” Alex was slightly disappointed and it shone through his voice.
Jill couldn’t help but feel guilty. “But, if you want you could come. Hang out. I don’t know how fun it would be for you, but the offer still stands.”
“Actually, that sounds good,” Alex smiled and Jill felt old butterflies rise in her stomach like they used to, but instead of giving into them, she instantly shot them down.
The two, well three of them sat in a somewhat uncomfortable silence for a few moments before Jill walked towards Alex and held Drew out. “Hold him for a minute? I have to just pack his diaper bag,”
“Uh sure,” Alex eagerly yet gently took Drew and the baby gurgled appreciatively.
Jill continued to pack up the travel pack as Jane Barakat came into the room.
“Where are you off to?” she asked her daughter.
“Well Alex and I are going to take Drew to the mall.”
Jane turned her attention to Alex who was paying no mind to the conversation.
“You’re really good with him,” she observed taking Alex out of his trance and a goofy grin plastered his face.
“You think?”
Jane pleasantly nodded but then turned her attention back to Jill, “Well how long are you going to have him out its kind of late and it’s chilly out.”
Jill sighed in irritation, “He just got up from a nap, and I have his coat. I won’t be out for long.”
“Ok Jill. Just make sure you-,”
“I KNOW WHAT I’m DOING!” she cried angrily and Drew began to cry as Jane and Alex stared on in shock of Jill’s outburst. She was always an easy going girl, not temperamental at all
Jill went over and grabbed Drew putting his jacket on him and slung his diaper bag over her shoulder. “Let’s go.” She instructed Alex leaving the room and walking straight passed her mother with not a word to her in farewell.
“Uh Bye?” Alex said awkwardly as he left and passed Jane.
“Goodbye Alex.” She replied softly.
When Alex got outside, Jill was placing the bag into Alex’s Car. “Can you grab the car seat from my mom’s car?” she asked still in an irritated tone.
Without response Alex got the car seat and brought it back to the car, where he bent into the back seat and placed it upon the seat. That’s when he realized he had no idea how to hook it up with the seat belt or on how Drew got in and was buckled.
“Here,” she said gruffly passing him the baby and hooking it up. Alex watched her just in case if he was ever lucky enough to take Drew out and when she was finished he handed him back to Jill so she could place him in and buckle him in. Without a word from either of them, Jill finished buckling him in and got into the front seat and put on her seat belt in about thirty seconds. Alex was shocked by her efficiency in such a short time and gently shut the back door as he climbed into the driver’s side. He applied his seat belt and nervously locked the doors. Checking his mirrors and taking more caution then he ever had before while driving, as he backed out of the driveway. As soon as the large white house was out of view Jill opened her mouth again and began to rant.
“UGH! She gets on my nerves so much sometimes!”
“Why?”
“Why?! Did you hear that in there?!”
“Well yeah, but she was just asking when you were going to be home.” Alex made a big mistake and as soon as the words were out of his mouth, he knew he was screwed. Jill turned to him with a glare. He was now the enemy target.
“Well you wouldn’t understand. You[.i] haven’t been around.” Low blow. “She treats me like I don’t know anything about being a mother! She thinks I’m like unfit I swear! Like I would go out for hours on end with my baby? Like I wouldn’t give him a jacket? UGH!”
Alex stayed silent this time not wanting to anger her more, but she looked at him expectantly and he knew he was supposed to say something. He just wasn’t sure what.
“I think you’re a great mother.” He simply said not wanting to touch the subject of her mother with a ten foot pole right now.
Jill seemed to lighten a bit and her next sigh wasn’t an angry one. It was more sad or tired.
“I just, it irritates me, but it also makes me question myself.”
“You’re doing great!” Alex said encouragingly and took his hand and reassuringly quickly patted her hand, then in a millisecond placed it back on the wheel nervously.
“scared?” she asked amused.
“Nerve-wracked.” He admitted not taking his eyes off the road for a second. Jill was surprised at what seemed to be a-lowering of walls-that Alex hadnt opened last time she’d gotten close to him. He seemed more open and vulnerable then he had before.
“You’re doing great!” she reassured him with the same exact words he’d just said to her and he quickly sent a glare her way playfully.
The two laughed together but when the laughter came to an end a silence once again came over them.
“Did Jack tell you about the tour?” Alex asked trying to make conversation.
“Yes. I’m so happy for you guys,” Jill said pleasantly but not with much enthusiasm. The thought scared her. What if the band got famous and he abandoned her and Drew. Abandoned Drew she corrected herself. She didn’t have him. She never really had.
“I was so excited I am already all packed up,” Alex chuckled as he turned into the mall parking lot and Kate turned to him surprised, she’d never heard him chuckle before.
“That seemed really quick, you didn’t speed did you?” Jill teased and Alex gave out a dry sarcastic laugh.
The two got out of the car and Jill threw the diaper bag over her shoulder and went around the car, to the backseat door of the opposite door and opened it.
“Are you taking him out in the car seat?” Alex asked confused.
“Yes. Because,” Jill paused as she hit a button and a lever went up on the car seat. “It doubles as a carrier.” She said proudly.
“Classy,” Alex said impressed.
“Let me take something,” Alex protested as Jill began to walk towards the mall.
“Here,” she said handing him the carrier, “but be careful,” she warned.
As Alex and Jill walked into the mall, Alex couldn’t help but realize what a sweet moment this was and sadness came over him. The tour was for two weeks. And he left in two days. He was going to miss fourteen more days of Drew’s life.
They were almost inside of the mall when a voice called out, “Jill!” coming from behind them.
Turning around, Alex saw the boy who’d taken Jill out on a date a few days prior. “Looks like we’re both early,” he smiled reaching them and going over to Jill giving her a kiss on the cheek and a large smile.
“Early?” Alex asked in a cold tone.
“I told you I was meeting a friend. This is Will,” Jill said in a ‘duh’ tone.
“Hey man,” Alex/Will smiled at Alex, “Hey buddy,” Alex/Will said in a sweeter softer tone to Drew who just stared at him.
“Hi,” Alex said with no more friendliness to his voice then the last time he spoke. Jill shot him a look and turned back to Alex/Will with a smile, “That’s Alex. And this is Drew” she said motioning to the infant.
“Ready to shop Drew?” Alex/Will asked sweetly and Jill began to laugh appreciatively. The two began walking and it was of coursed expected for Alex to follow with Drew.
Maybe this wasn’t such a great idea. Alex thought.

+++

“NEVER AGAIN!” Rian exclaimed throwing open the door to his apartment. “Neither of you will EVER set me up again!” he pouted plopping on the couch.
“What? What was wrong with Maggie?” Michelle asked as Zack followed her into the apartment and shut the door.
“What was wrong with her? How about the fact that the entire date she was high as kite? She was paranoid and laughing at the stupidest stuff all night. And she nearly fell asleep on me at dinner!” Rian exclaimed getting a laugh out of Zack. Michelle elbowed him in the stomach and he tried to mask the laughing with a cough.
“That’s just the way she is. She likes to smoke weed. You smoke weed too.” Michelle countered with her hands on her hips.
Rian looked to Zack who tilted his head as if saying she has a point dude
“Just, NEVER AGAIN.” Rian repeated himself. Sprawling himself into a flat position.
“Worst Halloween ever.”