Status: Off hiatus! Active, slowly but surely!
Sinister Smile With a Hole in My Heart
"Understand We'll Go Hand in Hand; But We'll Walk Alone in Fear."
"I'm just really worried about her Chelle," Jill spoke in hushed tones with her eyes wandering around the spacious kitchen looking to make sure her mother wasn't in close proximity. Drew seemed to bounce himself in her lap a little and she looked down at her small son with a smile. Jill was surprised at how big her son was getting so fast and she couldn't imagine being away from him for an extended period of time.
"I would be worried too if my mom was taking three months worth of pain pills in three weeks," Michelle agreed non-chalantly in a regular level voice as she took a large gulp of the coffee in the mug she had in her hands.
"MICHELLE!" Jill whisper-screamed urging her cousin to take a lower tone.
"What, maybe it'd be good if she heard me and realized that we were on to her," Michelle shrugged once again taking a drink with a smile. Jill however was not taking this lightly. It scared her. Jill knew how addicting pain killers along with any presciption pills could be and she didn't want to see her mother in worse shape then she already was. Just going through the motions, not half the woman that she was before her father died, although she did seem more light since Drew was born.
"I just...," Jill trailed off looking down and when her eyes met Michelle's they had tears brimming, "I don't know what I would do without her."
Michelle's heartbroke over her cousin's sincere concern for her mother, and she herself cared for her Aunt Jane. Reaching over, she grabbed Jill's upper arm lightly in support and Jill took a deep breath in.
"You need to talk to her, when Jack gets home. The two of you can sit her down."
"What do I tell Jack though...I don't want him to think that I'm overreacting, and I don't want him to overreact either."
"Just tell him you started noticing that her pills were going fast about,...when did you notice?" Michelle asked lightly.
"Well..." Jill sat and thought hard at when she really started noticing the pill bottle's contents disappearing too fast, "I guess...around the time when Kate came home?" Jill stated it as a rhetorical question.
"OK," Michelle continued positively, "You tell him the situation and you have a time to back you up if he asks, then the two of you get together and stage an intervention."
Jill scoffed, "An intervention really? Like the show, I don't know Chell-,"
Jill was interrupted by the sweetest sound she ever heard. Her eyes went wide as did Michelle's and each of them looked down at Drew as he continued to laugh and smile.
"DID HE JUST LAUGH?" Jill exclaimed jumping up with Drew in his arms.
"I think so!" Michelle replied happily.
"Did you just laugh baby, huh?" Jill cooed at her soon kissing him on the cheek and he laughed again.
"This is crazy!" Jill exclaimed taking her cellphone out and dialing a number.
+++
Alex pounded his fingers on the table in front of him. The west coast was beautiful, and this tour was crazy and amazing every night. It was shaping his future. However Alex missed home, more specifically he missed Drew, and if he was being completely honest he really missed Jill as well.
Alex had spent the majority of the tour on the bus, or in the room, sulking; when he wasn't performing that is. Everyone was beginning to worry about him and tried to break him out of his shell. Each and every night they went out they invited Alex to come along. However each night he declined. Alex knew what would happen once he got out, he'd drink, excessively, hook up with some mindless girl just as gone as he, and then repeat the cycle. The only good thing about his loneliness was that he was writing. In fact in the past two weeks he had completed two new songs. Opening his phone Alex clicked on his photo album looking at the picture Jill had sent him earlier. It was drew smiling dreamily in a bib, a new bib, that Alex had bought him before he left. The bib read, "My daddy rocks," with a guitar on it and the lanky Gaskarth was unable to resist when he saw it in the store.
"Ten minutes until we're on," James Matthew Flyzik, known as Matt or Flyzik , the band's friend and manager said walking into the back room the band was in, interrupting Alex's thoughts before leaving again. Alex looked at the clock. It was 6:49, meaning that it was 9:49 back home. A pang stung Alex and he wondered if Jill was out with him, Alex/Will, leaving Drew alone with someone else. Or the even worse possibility that he was with Alex's son. Trying to shake the thoughts out of his head, Alex looked at the room around him. Rian was MIA, and Jack and Kate shared a loving kiss before she left the room as well. Jack went over to Zack sending a head nod over Alex's way but not daring to approach him. It was obvious Alex was in sulk mood, and everyone knew not to get involved when he was like that, especially before a show.
Standing to down a quick bottle of water, Alex was startled when his phone started to buzz uncontrollably in his pocket. Slowly pulling it out he was shocked by the name on the caller ID, and then began to get nervous because the hour back home and immediately answered.
"Hello? Jill what's wrong?" Alex asked holding his breath. If the tone of panic in Alex's voice didn't alert Zack and Jack, Jill's name did.
"Relax, Alex nothings wrong." Hearing her calm soft voice Alex let out the breath in relief and Jack and Zack still gazed on although Alex had now blocked them out.
"Can you hear that?" Jill's voice was muffled, before he heard the small little laugh he had heard before come from his son's mouth. "Drew's laughing!" she was clearly excited, and Alex melted just by hearing her enthusiasm over what she thought was their son's first laugh. Chuckling Alex smiled to himself knowing he'd witnessed the first laugh attack from the infant.
"That's great!"
"It's so cute," Jill said mostly to herself, "You'll just have to see it when you get home," she said in a sadder tone.
"Yeah, I can't wait," Alex promised before saying goodbye, "Tell Drew I said bye too," he added before hanging up.
"Was that Jill, as in Jill Barakat as in my sister?" Jack asked skeptically looking at his best friend with a quizzical look.
"Yeah..." Alex trailed off.
"Why was she calling you?" Jack sounded more hurt then accusatory.
If only he knew that we talk on the phone nearly every night....
Alex shrugged, "What, we're friends. Before you were mad that we weren't talking enough and now you're complaining that we're too close?" Alex pointed out with a 'what now' look on his face. Jack looked away as if still in thought but nodded along, "I guess you're right."
"TIME TO GO ON WHERE'S RIAN?!" Matt exclaimed busting through the door. Jack and Zack looked around like they had no clue where he was and Alex was trying to remember when exactly he'd left.
Three thousand miles to the East, at that exact moment, the excitement at the Barakat house was settling down about Drew's laughter and Jill just noticed her younger cousin had been staring at her quizzically.
"What?" Jill asked her eyes still on her son but her words clearly directed to Michelle.
"Alex who?-was on the phone, and here, don't even try to lie because you specifically said 'you'll have to see it when you get home' and you call Alex/will, will."
"Alex Gaskarth," Jill said matter of factually like that's the name she was going to say the whole time.
"OK, so why did you call him?" Michelle was curious in her mannerisms not accusatory.
"Even though we had a kind of strained relationship, We've gotten close lately, and he loves Drew," Jill replied simply.
"OK, all very true statements, but still doesn't explain why you didn't call Jack, or Zack, or even Alex/Will," Michelle countered with raised eyebrows taking another long sip of coffee.
++++
Looking around the room Rian tapped his legs on the floor his mind racing. The secrets or almost-secrets he knew were plaguing him. Watching Alex sulk in the corner, all he could think of was that Drew was Alex's son, and he was one of the only people that knew. Then there was what he heard in the park about Kate. If he was wavering on it's truth factor, his suspicions seemed to have been confirmed when he witnessed the small exchange in the cafe. It had been more than shady and now Rian had a feel there was a reason that Kate had come home and it wasn't just for his goofy, lanky, fun-loving friend.
Rian couldn't help but scoff as he watched Kate wrap her thin arms around Jack's waist whispering in his ear. Jack looked down into Kate's eyes and Rian could read right into them. It was the same look that Jack had had for the girl for years, and Rian too loved the girl as a sister but he could not get passed her taking advantage or manipulating Jack.
Sulky Alex, cutesy couple Jack and Kate, and Zack sat in the corner lifting weights and checking his phone every once and a while, Rian could only assume he was texting Michelle, his girlfriend of sorts.
Everyone around him was caught up in their own thing and Rian was suffocating. Getting up and not looking back Rian left the room with speed, he didn't know where he was going or what he was going to do but he knew that he had fifteen minutes until he had to be on stage.
Wandering aimlessly people watching alone the boy with perfect teeth began to feel lonely for the first time he could ever remember. He'd never been a cynic but the last few weeks were making him think. Yes, he had friends that he was close too, and they were like a family, but the secrets and lies. It was like they were a group that was alone, together dealing, coping, planning by themselves with a facade and a smile glued to their faces. Except Alex, he seemed to be most in tune with his lonely side, the only true one who displayed his unhappiness with his choices. But on the same token, Rian thought of Jack, he was ignorant to his state of aloneness. Happily blinded by his feelings for the girl who would hurt him the most in the end.
Rian was about to take a left around a corner to head back to the backroom when he heard a voice that he knew very well.
Speak of the devil, He thought seeing Kate talking to a large man, but the closer Rian looked he realized that the two of them were in a heated discussion and retracing his steps unnoticed he hid behind the corner and eavesdropped.
"What are you doing here Kevin!" Kate hissed pushing the large man although because of his physique he didn't budge.
"What do you think I'm doing here, Katie," he said her name condescendingly and although Rian was feeling anger towards the girl his fist still balled up. She would always have a place in his thoughts.
"You shouldn't, you shouldn't be back here," Kate's voice no longer was authoritative, it now sounded scared like a child, and it made Rian nervous to hear her sounding like that.
"You have my money," Kevin said and the way he sounded to Rian, was like he was talking through gritted teeth.
"Kevin, I-,"
"Listen Bitch, I don't want to hear it. I've heard it plenty of times before. All I know is that you took my stuff and skipped town. Therefore, you owe me my money."
Clarity. Things were crystal clear for Rian now.
"I'll get you-You'll have the money." Kate's voice wavered the fear still evident.
"Tonight, you'll get me the money tonight. Try that pretty little boyfriend of yours."
"Like I said, you'll get it."
"Like I said. Tonight. Or maybe you won't show up at your hotel. Or maybe, Jack won't."
"Kevin, please," Kate's voice was pleading, "I'll get it to you." she was crying now and Rian could tell.
"And do yourself a favor Kate, don't try to run this time."
+++
Kate watched the boys play from the bar but her whole body was still shaking from her run in with Kevin. She knew that she wouldn't be able to get him the money tonight. Hell she wouldn't be able to give him the money in two months, especially in her current unemployed state.
The venue was rather small and the bar had perfect view to the stage, Kate's eyes didn't leave Jack and right when his eyes found hers from up on stage he'd winked. Kate watched as her childhood-crush-turned-lover played his heart out, the thing he loved to do most in the world, in amazement. She would never understand love, and she could never describe it to someone else, but all she knew is that she would never be able to live without Jack in her life. This was the majority of the reason that she was afraid to tell him about her habit.
The boys went into their last song, and Kate went into deep thought. She'd wished she'd never got into anything. She wished she had just stuck with the usual college things, drinking, cigarettes even. But no, she had to roll with the big boys and a couple times and soon she was hooked. But cocaine was expensive, and soon almost all of her college money was gone. Penniless and desperate, Kate turned to whatever pills she could crush and snort, but when Kevin and Amelia came on the scene they helped her with her cocaine problems. Until one day, she took some from Kevin without him knowing.
It was only after she'd finished a three day binge locked in her apartment, after everything was gone and she was coming down, that she realized she'd never have enough money to pay him back. And it was that, and Jack that had been her ultimate decisions to come home.
She'd thought her problems would go away, and she'd detox and everything would be back to normal. Happy with Jack, home. But the temptation was too great. Especially after she'd come across Jane Barakat's pain pills. They weren't hidden. No one else in the house would have thought to even touch them. Kate had immediately shut the drawer they were in and headed back into Jack's bedroom. But lying in Jack's bed as he softly snored beside her all she could think about was the little white pills. Her adamant No's eventually turned into, Maybe just one's, which in actuality had turned into half of the bottle. Initial guilt though faded away once the pills reached her bloodstream.
Druggies only think about one thing, their next fix.
Jack played the last chords of the song and everyone cheered appreciatively as Kate got up and started to make her way backstage, dodging people Kate looked at each and every face she passed looking for Kevin. She was paranoid and detoxing since she hadn't had anything in a few days. However luckily, each time she turned there was no Kevin, just people chatting about how impressed they were, and how good the band was.
Almost to the room she'd started in an hour before, Kate's fear melted. She could hear Jack happily rambling on. He was safe. And there was no sign of Kevin anywhere.
Just before she reached the door into the back room though, she felt a grip on her shoulders and before she knew it she was being pulled into a nearby closet. She couldn't breathe and expected the worst tightly closing her eyes. However when she opened them, she was shocked to see Rian Dawson standing in front of her.
Letting out a laugh that was mixed with a sigh of relief Kate brought her hand to her heart and smiled. "Rian you scared me."
"I know." he said simply, he was not smiling, and Kate's face fell too.
"Know what?" she asked casually.
"Everything." Giving in Kate turned to her friend's eyes and she could see the seriousness and pain behind them. She knew that he knew everything in just one glance.
"What am I going to do?" Kate sounded defeated even to herself.
"Nothing." Rian answered, and Kate let out a harsh sarcastic laugh, "Yeah that's what I'll do. Nothing. Because it worked so well the last time."
"I paid Kevin off," Kate's eyebrows skyrocketed.
"You paid Kevin? Tonight?" she was in shock, and extremely grateful, she felt like hugging the boy but considering the circumstances didn't find it completely appropriate.
"yes."
"Why? How did you get the money? When?" the questions poured out of the thin girl's mouth but Rian answered with the shaking of his head from left to right.
"Doesn't matter."
"Oh Rian, I owe you big time. I will never forget this-," Kate was gushing and Rian stopped her by shaking his head once again.
"No," he said assertively, "You don't owe me. But you're going to tell Jack. Everything. You can't play with him like this."
"It's going to hurt him Rian," Kate was being defiant and Rian wasn't having any of it.
"Sometimes the truth does. It might hurt him, but it will kill him if something happens to you or if he finds out another way."
"I...I can't..."
"Listen, either you will or I will. Either way he finds out. You don't want him to hear it from me. And remember, I just paid over a three thousand dollar debt for you."
Kate's heart was beating out of her chest but she nodded in agreement slowly. "OK I will, but not on tour, I want him to have some final fond memories of me," she said in self pity mode but Rian wasn't taken at all.
"Fine. But as soon as you get home. No Exceptions"
"I would be worried too if my mom was taking three months worth of pain pills in three weeks," Michelle agreed non-chalantly in a regular level voice as she took a large gulp of the coffee in the mug she had in her hands.
"MICHELLE!" Jill whisper-screamed urging her cousin to take a lower tone.
"What, maybe it'd be good if she heard me and realized that we were on to her," Michelle shrugged once again taking a drink with a smile. Jill however was not taking this lightly. It scared her. Jill knew how addicting pain killers along with any presciption pills could be and she didn't want to see her mother in worse shape then she already was. Just going through the motions, not half the woman that she was before her father died, although she did seem more light since Drew was born.
"I just...," Jill trailed off looking down and when her eyes met Michelle's they had tears brimming, "I don't know what I would do without her."
Michelle's heartbroke over her cousin's sincere concern for her mother, and she herself cared for her Aunt Jane. Reaching over, she grabbed Jill's upper arm lightly in support and Jill took a deep breath in.
"You need to talk to her, when Jack gets home. The two of you can sit her down."
"What do I tell Jack though...I don't want him to think that I'm overreacting, and I don't want him to overreact either."
"Just tell him you started noticing that her pills were going fast about,...when did you notice?" Michelle asked lightly.
"Well..." Jill sat and thought hard at when she really started noticing the pill bottle's contents disappearing too fast, "I guess...around the time when Kate came home?" Jill stated it as a rhetorical question.
"OK," Michelle continued positively, "You tell him the situation and you have a time to back you up if he asks, then the two of you get together and stage an intervention."
Jill scoffed, "An intervention really? Like the show, I don't know Chell-,"
Jill was interrupted by the sweetest sound she ever heard. Her eyes went wide as did Michelle's and each of them looked down at Drew as he continued to laugh and smile.
"DID HE JUST LAUGH?" Jill exclaimed jumping up with Drew in his arms.
"I think so!" Michelle replied happily.
"Did you just laugh baby, huh?" Jill cooed at her soon kissing him on the cheek and he laughed again.
"This is crazy!" Jill exclaimed taking her cellphone out and dialing a number.
+++
Alex pounded his fingers on the table in front of him. The west coast was beautiful, and this tour was crazy and amazing every night. It was shaping his future. However Alex missed home, more specifically he missed Drew, and if he was being completely honest he really missed Jill as well.
Alex had spent the majority of the tour on the bus, or in the room, sulking; when he wasn't performing that is. Everyone was beginning to worry about him and tried to break him out of his shell. Each and every night they went out they invited Alex to come along. However each night he declined. Alex knew what would happen once he got out, he'd drink, excessively, hook up with some mindless girl just as gone as he, and then repeat the cycle. The only good thing about his loneliness was that he was writing. In fact in the past two weeks he had completed two new songs. Opening his phone Alex clicked on his photo album looking at the picture Jill had sent him earlier. It was drew smiling dreamily in a bib, a new bib, that Alex had bought him before he left. The bib read, "My daddy rocks," with a guitar on it and the lanky Gaskarth was unable to resist when he saw it in the store.
"Ten minutes until we're on," James Matthew Flyzik, known as Matt or Flyzik , the band's friend and manager said walking into the back room the band was in, interrupting Alex's thoughts before leaving again. Alex looked at the clock. It was 6:49, meaning that it was 9:49 back home. A pang stung Alex and he wondered if Jill was out with him, Alex/Will, leaving Drew alone with someone else. Or the even worse possibility that he was with Alex's son. Trying to shake the thoughts out of his head, Alex looked at the room around him. Rian was MIA, and Jack and Kate shared a loving kiss before she left the room as well. Jack went over to Zack sending a head nod over Alex's way but not daring to approach him. It was obvious Alex was in sulk mood, and everyone knew not to get involved when he was like that, especially before a show.
Standing to down a quick bottle of water, Alex was startled when his phone started to buzz uncontrollably in his pocket. Slowly pulling it out he was shocked by the name on the caller ID, and then began to get nervous because the hour back home and immediately answered.
"Hello? Jill what's wrong?" Alex asked holding his breath. If the tone of panic in Alex's voice didn't alert Zack and Jack, Jill's name did.
"Relax, Alex nothings wrong." Hearing her calm soft voice Alex let out the breath in relief and Jack and Zack still gazed on although Alex had now blocked them out.
"Can you hear that?" Jill's voice was muffled, before he heard the small little laugh he had heard before come from his son's mouth. "Drew's laughing!" she was clearly excited, and Alex melted just by hearing her enthusiasm over what she thought was their son's first laugh. Chuckling Alex smiled to himself knowing he'd witnessed the first laugh attack from the infant.
"That's great!"
"It's so cute," Jill said mostly to herself, "You'll just have to see it when you get home," she said in a sadder tone.
"Yeah, I can't wait," Alex promised before saying goodbye, "Tell Drew I said bye too," he added before hanging up.
"Was that Jill, as in Jill Barakat as in my sister?" Jack asked skeptically looking at his best friend with a quizzical look.
"Yeah..." Alex trailed off.
"Why was she calling you?" Jack sounded more hurt then accusatory.
If only he knew that we talk on the phone nearly every night....
Alex shrugged, "What, we're friends. Before you were mad that we weren't talking enough and now you're complaining that we're too close?" Alex pointed out with a 'what now' look on his face. Jack looked away as if still in thought but nodded along, "I guess you're right."
"TIME TO GO ON WHERE'S RIAN?!" Matt exclaimed busting through the door. Jack and Zack looked around like they had no clue where he was and Alex was trying to remember when exactly he'd left.
Three thousand miles to the East, at that exact moment, the excitement at the Barakat house was settling down about Drew's laughter and Jill just noticed her younger cousin had been staring at her quizzically.
"What?" Jill asked her eyes still on her son but her words clearly directed to Michelle.
"Alex who?-was on the phone, and here, don't even try to lie because you specifically said 'you'll have to see it when you get home' and you call Alex/will, will."
"Alex Gaskarth," Jill said matter of factually like that's the name she was going to say the whole time.
"OK, so why did you call him?" Michelle was curious in her mannerisms not accusatory.
"Even though we had a kind of strained relationship, We've gotten close lately, and he loves Drew," Jill replied simply.
"OK, all very true statements, but still doesn't explain why you didn't call Jack, or Zack, or even Alex/Will," Michelle countered with raised eyebrows taking another long sip of coffee.
++++
Looking around the room Rian tapped his legs on the floor his mind racing. The secrets or almost-secrets he knew were plaguing him. Watching Alex sulk in the corner, all he could think of was that Drew was Alex's son, and he was one of the only people that knew. Then there was what he heard in the park about Kate. If he was wavering on it's truth factor, his suspicions seemed to have been confirmed when he witnessed the small exchange in the cafe. It had been more than shady and now Rian had a feel there was a reason that Kate had come home and it wasn't just for his goofy, lanky, fun-loving friend.
Rian couldn't help but scoff as he watched Kate wrap her thin arms around Jack's waist whispering in his ear. Jack looked down into Kate's eyes and Rian could read right into them. It was the same look that Jack had had for the girl for years, and Rian too loved the girl as a sister but he could not get passed her taking advantage or manipulating Jack.
Sulky Alex, cutesy couple Jack and Kate, and Zack sat in the corner lifting weights and checking his phone every once and a while, Rian could only assume he was texting Michelle, his girlfriend of sorts.
Everyone around him was caught up in their own thing and Rian was suffocating. Getting up and not looking back Rian left the room with speed, he didn't know where he was going or what he was going to do but he knew that he had fifteen minutes until he had to be on stage.
Wandering aimlessly people watching alone the boy with perfect teeth began to feel lonely for the first time he could ever remember. He'd never been a cynic but the last few weeks were making him think. Yes, he had friends that he was close too, and they were like a family, but the secrets and lies. It was like they were a group that was alone, together dealing, coping, planning by themselves with a facade and a smile glued to their faces. Except Alex, he seemed to be most in tune with his lonely side, the only true one who displayed his unhappiness with his choices. But on the same token, Rian thought of Jack, he was ignorant to his state of aloneness. Happily blinded by his feelings for the girl who would hurt him the most in the end.
Rian was about to take a left around a corner to head back to the backroom when he heard a voice that he knew very well.
Speak of the devil, He thought seeing Kate talking to a large man, but the closer Rian looked he realized that the two of them were in a heated discussion and retracing his steps unnoticed he hid behind the corner and eavesdropped.
"What are you doing here Kevin!" Kate hissed pushing the large man although because of his physique he didn't budge.
"What do you think I'm doing here, Katie," he said her name condescendingly and although Rian was feeling anger towards the girl his fist still balled up. She would always have a place in his thoughts.
"You shouldn't, you shouldn't be back here," Kate's voice no longer was authoritative, it now sounded scared like a child, and it made Rian nervous to hear her sounding like that.
"You have my money," Kevin said and the way he sounded to Rian, was like he was talking through gritted teeth.
"Kevin, I-,"
"Listen Bitch, I don't want to hear it. I've heard it plenty of times before. All I know is that you took my stuff and skipped town. Therefore, you owe me my money."
Clarity. Things were crystal clear for Rian now.
"I'll get you-You'll have the money." Kate's voice wavered the fear still evident.
"Tonight, you'll get me the money tonight. Try that pretty little boyfriend of yours."
"Like I said, you'll get it."
"Like I said. Tonight. Or maybe you won't show up at your hotel. Or maybe, Jack won't."
"Kevin, please," Kate's voice was pleading, "I'll get it to you." she was crying now and Rian could tell.
"And do yourself a favor Kate, don't try to run this time."
+++
Kate watched the boys play from the bar but her whole body was still shaking from her run in with Kevin. She knew that she wouldn't be able to get him the money tonight. Hell she wouldn't be able to give him the money in two months, especially in her current unemployed state.
The venue was rather small and the bar had perfect view to the stage, Kate's eyes didn't leave Jack and right when his eyes found hers from up on stage he'd winked. Kate watched as her childhood-crush-turned-lover played his heart out, the thing he loved to do most in the world, in amazement. She would never understand love, and she could never describe it to someone else, but all she knew is that she would never be able to live without Jack in her life. This was the majority of the reason that she was afraid to tell him about her habit.
The boys went into their last song, and Kate went into deep thought. She'd wished she'd never got into anything. She wished she had just stuck with the usual college things, drinking, cigarettes even. But no, she had to roll with the big boys and a couple times and soon she was hooked. But cocaine was expensive, and soon almost all of her college money was gone. Penniless and desperate, Kate turned to whatever pills she could crush and snort, but when Kevin and Amelia came on the scene they helped her with her cocaine problems. Until one day, she took some from Kevin without him knowing.
It was only after she'd finished a three day binge locked in her apartment, after everything was gone and she was coming down, that she realized she'd never have enough money to pay him back. And it was that, and Jack that had been her ultimate decisions to come home.
She'd thought her problems would go away, and she'd detox and everything would be back to normal. Happy with Jack, home. But the temptation was too great. Especially after she'd come across Jane Barakat's pain pills. They weren't hidden. No one else in the house would have thought to even touch them. Kate had immediately shut the drawer they were in and headed back into Jack's bedroom. But lying in Jack's bed as he softly snored beside her all she could think about was the little white pills. Her adamant No's eventually turned into, Maybe just one's, which in actuality had turned into half of the bottle. Initial guilt though faded away once the pills reached her bloodstream.
Druggies only think about one thing, their next fix.
Jack played the last chords of the song and everyone cheered appreciatively as Kate got up and started to make her way backstage, dodging people Kate looked at each and every face she passed looking for Kevin. She was paranoid and detoxing since she hadn't had anything in a few days. However luckily, each time she turned there was no Kevin, just people chatting about how impressed they were, and how good the band was.
Almost to the room she'd started in an hour before, Kate's fear melted. She could hear Jack happily rambling on. He was safe. And there was no sign of Kevin anywhere.
Just before she reached the door into the back room though, she felt a grip on her shoulders and before she knew it she was being pulled into a nearby closet. She couldn't breathe and expected the worst tightly closing her eyes. However when she opened them, she was shocked to see Rian Dawson standing in front of her.
Letting out a laugh that was mixed with a sigh of relief Kate brought her hand to her heart and smiled. "Rian you scared me."
"I know." he said simply, he was not smiling, and Kate's face fell too.
"Know what?" she asked casually.
"Everything." Giving in Kate turned to her friend's eyes and she could see the seriousness and pain behind them. She knew that he knew everything in just one glance.
"What am I going to do?" Kate sounded defeated even to herself.
"Nothing." Rian answered, and Kate let out a harsh sarcastic laugh, "Yeah that's what I'll do. Nothing. Because it worked so well the last time."
"I paid Kevin off," Kate's eyebrows skyrocketed.
"You paid Kevin? Tonight?" she was in shock, and extremely grateful, she felt like hugging the boy but considering the circumstances didn't find it completely appropriate.
"yes."
"Why? How did you get the money? When?" the questions poured out of the thin girl's mouth but Rian answered with the shaking of his head from left to right.
"Doesn't matter."
"Oh Rian, I owe you big time. I will never forget this-," Kate was gushing and Rian stopped her by shaking his head once again.
"No," he said assertively, "You don't owe me. But you're going to tell Jack. Everything. You can't play with him like this."
"It's going to hurt him Rian," Kate was being defiant and Rian wasn't having any of it.
"Sometimes the truth does. It might hurt him, but it will kill him if something happens to you or if he finds out another way."
"I...I can't..."
"Listen, either you will or I will. Either way he finds out. You don't want him to hear it from me. And remember, I just paid over a three thousand dollar debt for you."
Kate's heart was beating out of her chest but she nodded in agreement slowly. "OK I will, but not on tour, I want him to have some final fond memories of me," she said in self pity mode but Rian wasn't taken at all.
"Fine. But as soon as you get home. No Exceptions"