Eight Seconds Left In Over Time

Heaven Sends and Heaven Takes; Kill Me Now

From day one I talked about getting out
But not forgetting about
How my worst fears are letting out
He said why put a new address
On the same old loneliness
When breathing just passes the time
Until we all just get old and die
Now talking's just a waste of breath
And living's just a waste of death
And why put a new address
On the same old loneliness
And this is you and me
And me and you
Until we've got nothing left

I wish that I had something to cling onto. But there’s nothing left to hold. I know this hurts, but I know it was meant to. So why does all of this matter? I thought that it was just you and me. But now I feel that all I have left is everything, and everything is nothing. In a world, were you do not exist. Where your mind is empty, and your thoughts are blank.

I can wish and hope that I wasn’t me, that my life was different, that you weren’t hurt, but none of that is going to change. And I’m sure that doesn’t matter now. Because I can’t change the course of anything. I don’t know, I don’t know, I don't know.

“Evgeni.”

I didn’t feel like waking up, not now, not ever. I want to sleep in eternal darkness, to never see the people I care most about again. I don’t think that I could handle seeing the disappointment in their eyes. To see all the pain that tortures there mind in the dead of night.

What if she never comes to? What if all of this is just a road with a dead end?

“Evgeni.”

Would this person not go away? What part of dying don’t they understand? Was I dying? Was I going to die? And now I wish that I would.

Just to stop this world from turning, my pain from burning, my heart from churning.

Whoever it was, they shook my shoulder lightly.

“I know you’re awake.”

I opened my eyes to see Sidney staring at me. There were no lights on, no sun coming from the windows. What time was it? Has the world ended?

“What?” I asked, clearly not happy. I sat up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

“We need to hurry,” Sidney said his voice uneasy, dragging me from the bed.

“What?” I asked. My thoughts traveled to Tristan. Was there something wrong?

I was now panicking as I threw on a hoodie and sweatpants. Sidney met me at the front door with keys in hand. We did not speak as we sprinted to his car. He put the car in gear and sped out of the driveway.

I was about to lose my mind. What was the matter? We drove the familiar route to the hospital. Ten minutes later we arrived in the parking lot. I had my door opened barley before Sidney had stopped the car. Seconds later Sidney was at my side, and we were sprinting the stairs to get to floor eight.

“Excuse me,” the nurse whispered, as we ran past her. “Stop,” she ordered, and Sidney pulled me to his side. “Where are you two going?”

“Tristan Davis!” Sidney yelled, and pushed me forward.

We got to her room, 71 and opened the door.

“What's the matter?” I asked frantically to the doctor.

“Evgeni.”

Heaven sends and heaven takes. Why am I still here? Kill me now, kill me now, kill me now. I don’t think that I can hold the weight of this world any longer. I’m trying to hold on, but my grip is slipping. I’m falling faster and faster into darkness, where nothing is everything, in a world where I do not belong. But maybe I never did. That remains to be seen.

I need to see the face of that angel again. I need to hear her cooing voice. But my doubts get the best me, I believe no longer believe that is possible.

The only thing that I want. The only thing I need. Her. Set her free. Give her mind back. Give her memories to her. She needs them. I need them. I need to be near her. Kill me, so you may set her free.

“What the hell is going on?”

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kill me now and set her free
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The fight is not fair. I thought that we could take this, just you and me. But things fall apart at our feet. Things will change. Walls will fall. And we’ll have each other once again. Once again forever.

“What the hell is going on?”

I stared at the man in front of me. Every time I see him, why does my heart beat multiply? Why do I urge to kiss this boy? Why do I feel safest in his presence? These are questions I may never know the answer to.

I don’t know if I am ready for this.

His eyes darted around the room. From my doctor, to my father, and finally to me. His eyes softened. And for a second I believed that the gorgeous man was going to cry.

“What’s going on?” his friend asked.

“Evgeni, Sidney.” the doctor whispered.

I can’t wait any longer.

I got up, talking little steps. Every step to get closer to him, this mystery boy I do not know.

My name is being called at every angles.

I take another step and fall, fall to the ground. Before the impact hits, I’m caught in his arms, taking in this familiar sent I’ve smelled a million times, and never smelt before.

“Are you okay?” he whispered, concern wrapped in his voice.

I feel all right. But I’m feeling like I might need to be near you.

“I am now.”

“What do you mean?” his breath tickles my neck.

“I’m safe in your arms, Evgeni.”

I’m done for the last time.