Eight Seconds Left In Over Time

I can’t remember what you meant to me.
I’ve tried to think back to the days.
So untitled is what I’ve come up with.
Untitled is what I think of this messed up life.
Don’t know where I came from.
Where I’m heading.
Why must I feel this way?
Can’t just make this go away.
And I can say its been awhile.
Awhile since I could look in the mirror.
I can’t know everything.
Can’t be certain.
But I know one thing.
It’s been awhile.
I still remember the smell that lingers around you.
Still remember the warmth of your embrace.
I know how it feels to have your heart beating on my chest.
But please.
I can beg.
And blame.
So how can I make up for lost time?

I caught her before she fell to the ground.

“Are you okay?” I whispered to her. I wrapped my arms around the frail body of my lover.

“I am now,” she mumbled into my chest.

“What do you mean?” I asked her as my heart rate increased.

“I’m safe in your arms, Evgeni.”

She looked up at me, and I could see the tears in her blue eyes. It hurts to see her cry.

This girl, who I’m holding in my arms, makes me now realize something. Makes me realize that this girl means everything to me.

You bring me to my knees.

-------->
i must have been sleeping
-------->

My arms wrapped tightly around his neck. I didn’t want to let go.

And suddenly it hits me. Like bricks hitting me from every angle. Memories flood my head at such overwhelming speeds. I didn’t know when it was going to stop. It felt like a dream. Emotions attacked my heart. Reopening the scars that I had surely locked away a long time ago. A burning sensation tingled throughout my body. I remembered everything, the pain, the passion the hurt. The games, the practices, the fans, the coaches. Teammates. My teammates. The “A” over my heart. The laughs, the cries. The kisses. The love. I now remembered it all.

Memories crashed into my head. And I now knew the madness behind my deep connection for this boy I was holding on to.

I took a step back. Evgeni gave me a worried look.

“Tristan I think that you need to lay down again,” my doctor said, getting out of his seat.

“No,” I replied simply.

“What?” my father asked shocked.

“I want to go home.” I now realized that tears were streaming down my face.

“Honey, I can’t take you home right now,” my dad said, getting out of his seat too. “Please come and lay down.”

“No dad. I want to go home with Sidney and Evgeni. To Marc and Bugsy and Kris and Max and Jordy. I want to see my teammates. I want to sleep in my bed, and drive in my car. And-”

I couldn’t speak any longer. I collapsed on the floor. Evgeni rushed down to me, wrapping his arms around me. We laid on the cold floor.

I didn’t know how it happened, or really, what happened. The memories I had lost, now back again. But I didn’t care, all that mattered was that I was with Evgeni.

You remember?” he whispered into my ear.

I turned to face him. “Just take me home.”

--------------------------------->> | it’s been awhile| <<---------------------------------

I walked into the house. The house I loved. Where I could be me. Evgeni and Sidney followed behind me.

“I’m home,” I called, my voice ringing through the house.

“Who’s there?” I recognized Jordy’s voice. When the three of us didn’t respond, I heard footsteps from upstairs. Jordan came around the corner. In black boxers and a white t-shirt. Rubbing his eyes.

“Hey Jordy.”

Jordan Staal looked up, stunned. Rubbing his eyes again.

“Tristan?” he asked, like he was scared. Maybe he thinking he’s still asleep.

“Hi Mr. Staal,” I called happily.

“TRISTAN! YOU KNOW WHO I AM!” he cried, taking the steps three at a time. He reached me, and engulfed me in a bone crushing hug. But honestly, I could care less. Tears free fall from my eyes as I cried into Jordy’s shoulder. I heard that he was crying too.

“Don’t you ever scare me like that again,” Jordan whispered. I took a step back.

“Sorry guys,” I replied, looking at all of them.

“I’m just glad to have my assistant back,” Sid said, laughing and hugging me once more.

“C'mon, I think we’ve got a team meeting to call for.”

Sidney and Jordan walked up the stairs to get ready.

“Evgeni.”

His brown eyes swim with tears daring to fall.

“It’s been awhile,” he choked out.

“I know.”

I pulled him into a hug, and he buried his head into my neck. Kissing it softly. He balled like a baby.

And right then and there I have to ask myself: And we call ourselves NHL hockey players?

But I don’t care. All I could do was push Evgeni back. He looked at me strangely.

“W-what?” I think he thinks he's been rejected.

“Evgeni,” I whispered, barely audible.

Grabbing the collar of his neck, I brought his lips crashing onto mine.

The tears still haven’t stopped. I’m just happy to be home.